A/N: sorry for the delay! :( I jsut got access to the computer again! I hope you guys will enjoy it again though! ^^
"Oh….no…" I whined, almost tripping out of the bed, as I struggled to get out. My stomach clenched violently, while I was overwhelmed by a very extreme flurry of nauseas. I whimpered as I stumbled and tripped to the bathroom, dizzy as hell and seeing double. I opened the door, slammed it close behind me and hung my head over the toilet seat. I gagged loudly before I vomited heavily, that it pained my chest from scraping against my gullet. I retched and spewed three times more before it stopped. Still terribly dizzy I sank against the cold tile floor beneath me, trying to relax my breathing and my buzzing head. The cold sweat that had broken out started to lessen quickly after I calmed down a bit. And then just as suddenly the nausea attack had come, It was gone. I wondered where it had come from – I hadn't puked in a few days and especially not since I started to eat again. then I remembered it was probably because of my period which had to start sometime – I wasn't sure anymore when since I forgot counting since…the breakdown.
I felt dirty and everything smelled like vomit, so I decided a shower would do good. I scrambled up from the floor trying to stay upright because of the dizzy feelings and went back to my room to grab fresh clothes. It was the twenty-fourth of December, which meant we weren't going out today or having something special. Maybe we'd do some games or watch a movie together but that was about it. I felt wobbly legged and sweaty so I chose for my favorite grey sweatpants again with a navy-blue long sleeve.
It was a long time ago that I enjoyed my morning shower. The warm water washed the cold sweat away and relaxed my muscles. And for the first time in weeks, my banana shampoo seemed to calm my senses too. it wasn't that I was happy and had gotten over it – the pain was still there, still gaping, still stinging. But is wasn't as unbearable as it had been. Like there was something that lightened up my world, but I had no clue what – only E. But he had left my dreams after he'd said the first letter of his name. I wondered if I'd scared him off with all this food I ate. I was hungry all the time and just thinking of it made my stomach rumble again.
I stood under the shower until the water had run cold. Normally someone would bounce the door and yell that they wanted to shower. But it was peacefully quiet in the house. Maybe this all was because of Christmas.
I finished my morning shower routine by getting dressed, drying my hair and pulling on my warm ankle-high slippers. I left the bathroom, still with jelly-legs and went downstairs, gripping the railing tightly to make sure I wouldn't fall. Once down I was surprised when I saw Charlie and Bella having tea-time in the kitchen. I squeezed my eyebrows together.
"Ah, there you are sleepy head! We started wondering if you were ever going to wake up." Charlie joked as Bella giggled with him. Huh, it was only nine o'clock right? I stepped into the kitchen and glanced out of the window. The streets, trees and everything that could possibly held it, were white with snow and yet it was still snowing. I wasn't getting any wiser with that.
"What time is it?" I asked bewildered and still dizzy.
"Like we said, you're a sleepy-head – it's past two in the afternoon." Bella answered, smiling. my eyes went wide. I woke up much later than I'd expected. Talk about fucking weird. But that means that I must've slept for…
"….seventeen hours!?" I whispered in shock. Charlie and Bella nodded in confirmation. "you did. Strange actually since you sleep a lot lately." Charlie remarked. I stayed silent. There was something going on but what?
"would you like some hot chocolate too? it's snowing outside so it fits the weather." Bella suggested. I nodded at her dazed, before walking to the refrigerator. The one moment I feel deadly heartbroken, then I'm sleepy, followed by being hungry all the time and not to forget I vomit once in a while. I was one complete mess – that was for sure.
Opening the refrigerator, I grabbed jelly, peanut butter and milk. I placed it on the counter. From the cabinets I grabbed the box cereal, bread and chocolate sprinkles. Bella stood next to me preparing the cup of hot chocolate and studied me. 'hungry again?' she thought. I nodded, not paying attention on her as I laid down four slices of bread and started to smudge them with the peanut butter. Bella shrugged and shook her head before heading back to the table where she picked up her book again. Charlie was reading the news paper as usual.
On top of the butter, I smudged the jelly following with the chocolate sprinkles. I needed more on it….
I went back to refrigerator and took the plastic package out. I opened it and peeled two slabs of cheese out, and laid them down on the already thick plated sandwiches. I pushed the two empty slices of bread on top and grabbed a plate from a cabinet beneath me to place them on it.
Grabbing a bowl from the same cabinet, I filled it with milk while I sneakily relished from the Christmas cake slices that lay a bit away from me. I threw in the cereal, picked up the bowl and the plate before walking back to the table. Damn I was hungry. When I sat down, stuffing a piece of the sandwich in my mouth, two sets of eyebrows along with thoughts made me aware that they were looking at me.
'What the hell? Is there seriously cheese on it? Are you nuts Melody?' Bella started giggling, as Charlie shook his head. 'Well, I don't think it tastes delicious, but at least she's eating.'
"Whut?" I asked, my mouth full of the soft, creamy breakfast. Charlie chuckled along with Bella.
"Looks like it, that you are already priming for your next winter sleep." Charlie commented, still snickering, his mustache happily up high. Bella didn't hold it anymore and busted out laughing.
"I don't get what so funny? I'm just hungry, let me be." I argued, taking another huge bite from the bread.
They let me eat further, snickering each time I stuffed a piece of sandwich into my mouth or slurped the milk from the spoon. When I'd eaten everything, I sat back in my chair, sighing in some sort of contentment.
"Wow. I can't believe you just ate a sandwich with jelly, peanut butter covered with sprinkles and cheese! Not to forget the huge bowl of cornflakes. I won't be surprised if you'd start puking. Not on me please." Bella snarked, smirking. I rolled my eyes.
"for your information; I already did puke this morning, so don't worry." I said back, cleaning the table thinking of what I could do for the day.
"Again? Are you pregnant or something?" she joked leaving the kitchen.
I froze, almost dropping to the floor. No, no that was impossible – Edward was a vampire and I was on birth control recently. My periods had become really hectic and painful each month so I chose to ease it up. I immediately shut my mind down and stopped thinking about it. it was absurd , impossible so not worth the thinking. I shook my head and stepped up the staircase. Halfway, my stomach went tight again as I felt the need to relieve it.
"Oh come on! not again!" I whined, running up and practically flying into the bathroom the throw up my breakfast.
I felt like I could hit my head against the walls, when I heard a knock on the door. "Melody? Are you alright? can you please open the door?" Charlie's worried voice drafted through. I sighed and got up to open the door after I flushed the toilet. Charlie's eyebrows shot up before they creased together. 'My, you look really sick Mells. I think it's better if you stay in bed today.'
Now it was my turn to frown. "What do you mean? I only threw up – I've done that a lot before."
Charlie shook his head and pushed me in the direction of the mirror. "Look." he said, making me face my reflection. I stifled a gasp.
My face was reddish and ashen pale – not blushing red, but fever red above the pale white skin. And from the looks of it I was suffering form a big time fever. But stranger was that it felt good. I didn't feel like I was having a fever at all.
I brought my eyes to the same height so I could look at them. There were dark shadows beneath it and they looked slightly puffed. The color of my irises surprised me – they were still black, but a small ring of gold enclosed it along the side.
"Huh, you might be right." I said. Charlie patted me lightly on the shoulder, where the scars from the horrendous birthday were healed. "I'm going to check your fever and then you're going to bed, lady." He stated before leaving the bathroom. He didn't give me the chance to sputter against his plans.
No ten minutes later, Charlie had packed me in bed with thick clothes, two hot water bottles and two layers of blankets above the duvet. I was wondering when he would come along with a hat, scarf, loves and ear warmers.
"Dad, it's Christmas! We were going to decorate the tree today!" I whined. Now I suddenly felt like a toddler that didn't get what she wanted. I was sure E would agree with me about wanting to decorate the tree – it was fun.
"Melody no. you're staying in bed to make sure you can accompany us during dinner tomorrow and if you get better faster, you can still cook and prepare it. I don't want Jake and Billy to get sick because you didn't sweat out the fever, got it?" he said sternly which meant – no arguing, I'm the boss. I frowned about he 'Jake and Billy' comment.
"What do you mean?"
Charlie sighed audibly, squeezing the bridge of his nose. 'Shit, she doesn't know.'
"I invited Billy and Jacob over for dinner since they are alone this year. And Bella went completely ecstatic when I mentioned that Jake came over. I didn't say anything and shrugged. Charlie said that if I needed anything I should call out for him or Bella and left. I lay down in my bed, looking relaxed but in my head I exploded.
Could this get any worse!? First my sister fakes to be in love with the vampire I really fell in love with. Then said vampire kissed me on my birthday and ignored me. the horrible birthday wasn't even the damn worst but still terrible. Then they decide they don't need me anymore by keeping me on a death end by not letting me hear of them.
And suddenly Edward is there and decides he wants to fuck me before he leaves me forever.
My eyes shot open when realization hit. He didn't love me, want me or cherished me! He only wanted to fuck me! That was only it! He wanted to make sure Emmett wouldn't pester him anymore about being a ninety year old virgin. He used me. Dumped me. and broke my damned heart. I tried to recall any sweet words he might've said but there weren't any. No soothing when he broke through my hymen, no waiting a minute when I cried form the pain. No word after and only an 'I'm so sorry' before leaving.
No, that couldn't be. Edward wasn't like that! He wouldn't do such a thing. But the memories, the words, the heartache were the only evidence I had to come to this painful, true conclusion.
I silently cried the tears that I needed to let go of while my chest contracted unbearably tight once more. I tried to keep breathing.
On top of all this Bella and Jacob ended up as a happy couple and now the damn dog would be here to ruin my Christmas. Jacob was nice and my friend in a way, but when I found out he was one of the Quileute tribe, one of the wolves, the shape shifters, our friendship had taken a turn.
The Quileute tribe had its old legends, one of them was the story about the cold ones Jacob told us on the beach over a year ago. The legends said the people of the tribe descended from wolves, real huge wolves. They changed when their enemy was close – vampires. I'd read it in my book, Mythical Humans. It had become some kind of guide to me when I had no clue of what to do. I hadn't touched it since they left though, not wanting to live any further. I still didn't but I had no choice. I couldn't just hurt my family like that. Not again.
It was the most horrible day I'd had after a small week of slight happiness. Even the food didn't cheer me. I kept having fits of nauseas and throwing up all day while the crying moods wouldn't stop either. I had my reasons for feeling like this even though Charlie was distraught. He thought I was on a good way to get over it, get over him. but that was far, so far from the actual truth.
I was never getting over this. And never was going to be a very, achingly long time.
