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Chapter 29
Nikki was woken by the pain from her ribs and the hunger from her empty stomach. She turned over awkwardly in the bed; she was acutely aware of the throbbing in her side. Mouth-watering fragrances of lamb and rosemary attacked her senses, and slowly a smile grew on her face. She thought of Harry battling with the components of his kitchen and it eased the pain she felt inside. Nikki lay there in the dimly lit room, trying to make sense of what had happened earlier. She was still frightened but right now, in Harry's home she felt protected; she decided to doze for a few more minutes.
In the living room Harry sat on the sofa next to Hughes and poured him another whiskey. Harry was still uncomfortable but he was happy to make concessions if it meant his work life could be easier for the next few weeks. In the past hour they had discussed many things: work, PM's, coroners' reports, Leo and the Lyle Centre; however one topic Harry steered clear of was Nikki. He wasn't about to disclose the intricate and complicated relationship that had become him and Nikki. He'd already told Hughes they were together and as far as Harry was concerned that was all that Hughes needed to know; that and the fact that Nikki was off limits, she was his.
"Forgive me for prying but what was wrong with Nikki this afternoon?" Hughes outwardly appeared nervous as he sipped his drink.
"Oh she's, well she… received some rather upsetting news, about a close family member, I'd rather not talk about it, to be honest-"
"No, yes, I mean of course." Smiling he downed his drink, "Well, I better be off."
As Nikki lay there she became conscious of the fact that Harry was talking to someone. Initially she thought that he was talking on the phone but then she realised that there was another male voice talking back to him. She concluded that it must have been Leo, their voices were hushed and through the closed bedroom door she could only recognise Harry's unmistakeable chatter. Hungry, curious and desperate to hug Leo, she climbed out of bed and headed for the living room.
Nikki's eyes fell instantly on Harry's form, his easy manner and his dark hair; it was only when she'd made several steps in Harry's direction did the walls of her world come crashing down around her fragile mind. She stopped dead. She looked and looked; she blinked away what she saw yet it was merely replaced by the same frightful image. It couldn't be… it was impossible. Harry hated him; he would never have invited him in. She had to be strong she couldn't let Harry see, her mind replayed the malicious images of Hughes throttling her to near unconsciousness, and her fighting for air as he ruthlessly removed her underwear. She held her hand to her mouth to prevent herself from screaming, but her subconscious managed to call out for Harry,
"Harry." It was barely audible but Harry shot his head around to see Nikki stood by the door with her hand held tightly over her mouth. Her complexion was white and her eyes were glazed.
"Hey, Nik it's okay, you fell asleep." He was already at her side trying to guide her to the sofa.
"Nicola. Are you feeling any better? I just came by to drop these files off for you…"
Nikki was silent but her mind raced, it screamed at her to tell Harry but her fear kept her mute. Hughes was here in her safe haven; he was violating her once more and Harry was oblivious to it. She needed Hughes out, but she couldn't think coherently, all she kept hearing was Harry's here he won't let him hurt you, Harry's here he won't let him hurt you interjected with get him out, get him out, please get him out.
"Nicola. You look like you've seen a ghost? Are you okay? Come and have a drink with Harry and I?" Hughes winked at her as he confidently continued,
"I am fine. No thank you." Her voice was monotone, and clear; she hid her fear remarkably well.
"Nik?" Harry questioned,
She tore herself from Harry and stepped carefully backwards. Her eyes transfixed on Hughes, her mind screaming help me Harry, help me Harry. She disappeared back into the bedroom and Harry turned to Hughes to try to explain.
"She's not been sleeping well; I just need to check that she's okay."
When Harry entered the bedroom he found Nikki on the floor mumbling, shaking her head and holding her legs under her chin.
"Nikki, what is it? Did you have a bad dream?" He crouched, held her shaking hands and pulled her into him.
"Please Harry, please, get him out" she whispered,
Nikki turned her gaze to Harry and her large brown eyes flooded with shame.
"Get him out Harry."
Instantly Harry went and politely asked Hughes to leave.
"Well yes, anyway, I'll leave you to your dinner. Thanks for the drink Harry, see you soon Nicola." He yelled as he turned to the door.
When Harry returned to Nikki, he sat her on the bed and knelt in front of her, he felt powerless, but his need to stop her hurt was relentless.
"Nikki! Speak to me!" He raised his voice hoping to startle her into rational thinking.
"I can't- I can't, I'm scared Harry."
Harry held her face between his hands and with difficulty he looked into her eyes and tried to be cross with her,
"Yes you can. Yes you can. You have to Nik, I can't make it better if I don't know what's upsetting you. I love you but I can't help you if you won't let me in."
"I – I – I hate him, I hate him, Lister Hughes I don't want him near me." She managed through anger and fear.
"Okay, okay, you don't have to see him again. It's okay Nik. Did he say something to upset you today? Did he try it on with you? Is that what happened Nik?" Harry presumed his assumptions were correct. Harry knew Lister Hughes was a misogynistic pig and that it was highly likely he had upset Nikki; Harry concluded that was the reason for his visit, Hughes knew he'd upset Nikki on his first day and wanted to cover his back.
"I don't want him to hurt me, I don't want him to hurt me Harry, please, please Harry, don't let him."
"Hey, hey Nik, he's not going to hurt you I promise. It's just Hughes, he's a complete wanker but he's not going to hurt you okay. It's just Hughes."
"You won't let him will you?"
"What? No, of course not, Nik. He won't."
"Promise me, Harry promise you won't let him."
"I promise Nik. Really it's okay, Hughes is okay, he's not that bad once you give him a chance."
Harry's innocent words strangled her heart and shattered her soul; she loved him with her whole being yet she couldn't possibly comprehend that her only love would think that the man who brutally raped her was 'okay'. Nikki reminded herself that Harry didn't know the truth about Hughes and therefore this was her fault; once again she had been defiled and the only person she could blame was herself. Disgusted and repulsed by her actions her body responded the only way it knew how; she vomited down herself and she felt like she wanted to die.
Harry felt Nikki's whole body wretch and tense as he held her hair back. He waited until she had finished; there was little mess as her stomach contents were nothing more than water and bile, however it had soaked through the hoodie that Nikki was wearing.
"Nik, let's get you into some clean clothes; come on my love."
Numb, Nikki let Harry take control of the situation; she was grateful that he was still there caring for her, even though she knew how vile she was. Harry pulled her arms tenderly from the sleeves, and then he carefully manoeuvred the sodden jumper over her head. He threw it into the corner of the room and stood to grab another from his drawer. He stopped. Bile rose in him. Rage pounded through his mind. He knelt back down.
"Nikki, sweetheart, lift up your arm." Help gently helped her to lift her arm so that he could see the huge scarlet mark clearly. There was no mistaking it; somebody had viciously smacked her in the ribs.
"Tell me- Nik- tell me who did this to you?" He couldn't breathe through the fury "this happened today didn't it? Since work? You were upset at work. Hughes. It was Hughes. Oh God. Oh God Nikki, he's the one who, he, he. Shit Nikki, I'm so sorry, I' m so sorry. You must hate me. I- I didn't realise. I would never have… if I'd known. God, please forgive me Nik-" Harry pulled Nikki to his chest and encircled her with his engulfing embrace. Tears flowed and Harry cried.
Nikki marvelled at Harry's vulnerability, and she fell in love with him all over again. She knelt upright on her knees and cradled his head against her chest and muttered between kisses, over and over
"I could never hate you, I could never hate you, I could never hate you"…
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