I had much in the way of disappointments. This Pokémon training life is just not fucking worth it. Once I really get started you'll understand what I mean, but for now I'm going to start with the beginning. Every tedious detail of my travel there must be expected to be savored by my readers, since that's how every published author I've read goes with.

First I looked at the map that was installed in my Pokégear. I figured that the eighth Gym leader must be in Blackthorn City, since that's the only major place I haven't checked out yet in Johto. The curious thing is, the caption for Blackthorn City read, "A mysterious mountain village cut into a rock face." This was odd because cities typically aren't villages. I should've known right from the start that this was trouble, but instead I thought the strangeness came from it being in the odd land of Johto. Besides, there were other bothersome things to look at, like the fact that Blackthron was a long hike ahead, and that it'll be dark long before I reached it if I went at this time. I decided to set out at this time anyway.

According to the Pokégear, there were two ways of reaching Blackthorn from Goldenrod, and both were pretty long. I took the route that went north and curled to the east, since that route had less caves. On the way I saw Irvin, but I ignored him so he didn't notice me as I ran past. I ran through everything, actually. I ran through the creepy National Park that was full of the sounds of piano music even at night, past the Ecruteak Dance Theater that had glowing windows during the night, and the Poké Mart which I guess has nothing to do with the night besides being opened twenty-four dash seven.

Eventually, I came to a part where I would have to go inside a waterfall cave. I wasn't much into it, so I jumped into a lake instead. The swim at the lake took only two seconds before I got to the other side, which increased my productivity by quite a bit. After the small lake adventure, I was walking in leisure when Cinder pointed out that Suicune was standing over to the side. I stopped, looking over in silence.

Suicune was giving me a glare. The legendary Pokémon was standing in the midst of a field of trees, three of them the Apricorn kind. With caution, I began my way around the trees and into that small meadow Suicune was at. Suicune looked at me for a few more seconds, decided he had enough, and jumped away again. I watched in complete indifference before moving to get Apricorns from the trees.

It was a cool night, devoid of the summer heat that so dreadfully marked the day. I left my hair in a ponytail and a gentle breeze ticked my neck as I positioned myself to shake the trees. The moon wasn't there in the night sky and in its absence were the sparks of distant stars, clumped together as though held by a familial bond. I blew my hair from my face and began to shake one of the Apricorn tree, the twisted bark of the tree was cold under my bare hands. One of my fingers was lightly pricked by the rough bark as I looked over to where I knew Ecruteak City laid. It must have been busy, but from the distance, it appeared serene and silent. The lights of the city, subdued by the aforementioned distance, shined strikingly in the darkened buildings. I continued to shake the Apricorn Tree.

"HOW BRAVE IT IS!" someone shrieked down my neck. "HOW REFRESHING IT IS! HOW BEAUTIFUL! HOW QUICK IT IS!"

I screamed and spun around. It was Suicune's most blatant lover, Eusine, who shouted at the dark heavens with his fists in the air.

For a spilt second I thought of those middle school plays, all over again. To make matters worse, Eusine started referring Shakespeare. It didn't make sense in context, but then again, a lot of things don't.

"OH, QUEEN NAB! FAIRIES' MIDWIFE, COME TO MY NOSE TONIGHT! LET ME DREAM SWEET DREAMS OF SUICUNE TONIGHT!"

"Eusine—" I began, but he didn't stop. The most cringeworthy of rants lived on.

"COME THROUGH MY BRAIN WITH THAT GRASSHOPPER COVER OF YOURS AND LET ME DREAM OF LOVE TONIGHT! LET ME DREAM OF SUICUNE'S BEAUTIFUL, REFRESHING BLUE HAIR—I MEAN, FUR! LET ME DREAM OF LOVE! LET ME CATCH SUICUNE, EVEN! OH, QUEEN NAB, YOU WHO GALLOPS OVER THE NOSES OF STORE CLERKS SO THEY DREAM OF SMELLING CLOTHES, AND DANCE OVER RANDOM PEOPLE'S LIPS SO THEY DREAM OF KISSING AND OTHER ABNORMAL ACTIVITIES, AND DRIVE OVER SOLDIERS' NECKS SO THEY HAVE BAD DREAMS AND MAKE FRANTIC PRAYERS AT 2 AM, YOU, QUEEN NAB, I BEG, TO GIVE ME DREAMS OF SUICUNE! QUEEN NAB, IT IS SHE THAT ALLOWS WOMEN TO GIVE BIRTH BY RUNNING OVER THEM IN LITTLE CARRIAGES MADE OF BUGS! QUEEN NAB, IT IS YOU WHO BRAID THE MANES OF HORSES IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT FOR NO REASON, AND WHO—"

"SHUT UP!" I screamed.

Eusine squinted into the darkness, now smiling. "Oh, Lyra, is that you?"

"Wait...you didn't know I was here? Who were you talking to?"

"Well, Lyra, if you speak to the fairies of the mystical forests, they sometimes talk to you back."

"No offense, but they're probably going to scream back curses because you disturbed their sleep."

Eusine sighed, his smile fading away. "You always seem to be around where Suicune would appear. Are you looking for Suicune, too?"

"I guess," I said. "I must subconsciously be looking for the damn thing."

Eusine's lips bent down to a firm line. He played with his lips, his eyebrows furrowing. He seemingly didn't hear the last part I said.

"My desire to search for Suicune is far beyond yours," he said. His words sounded vicious. "My grandpa...was quite into myths. I've heard so many stories about Suicune from him." Eusine turned away from me like he couldn't bear to look at me anymore. I waited patiently behind him as he uttered one last little monologue.

"Suicune, I won't stop following you until I've found out what you're after... You hear me!" He screamed that part out with a surprisingly large extent of energy for one that was shouting themselves hoarse a few minutes ago.

I placed my hands over my ears immediately, but it seemed like the drama had ended. With resignation, Eusine walked to where Suicune jumped to before, his white cloak dragging on the floor.

Eusine had spent years trying to do what I manage to do without even trying. He couldn't get Suicune to get to him at all. To be honest with you, Suicune is probably creeped out by Eusine's obsession, but there was no way for Eusine to figure these things out, or fix it. Forever, he was going to try to get Suicune, and forever, he was going to lose. If Eusine couldn't get Suicune tonight, or the other night, or the good million chances he had before, he's never going to get Suicune. Tonight was a bad night for Eusine, and he will always have bad nights. Each night would mean another day had gone to waste in his search of Suicune. He thinks he's getting closer, but he never is. Suicune will have those jumps ahead every single time.

I went back to the Apricorn trees, shook them all, and Apricorns popped out. For me, it was a good night. Even if I had three phone calls all in the span of five minutes, and if my ears were still ringing from Eusine's perturbing extra long monologue, it was still a good night.

Cinder sneezed twice. I wondered if he had a cold.


You may be wondering how I went from being perfectly satisfied to perfectly nuts. Well, we're not at Blackthorn yet, but believe me, I would've been shocked if I knew I was going to go crazy at Blackthorn too.

Still, not all was right on the road. As mentioned previously, I had three phone calls received in the span of five minutes. The first one wanted to make a random conversation about his Venonat. The other two wanted me to battle them again. All of them just happened to be guys. I don't understand my sudden allurement to guys, if that's what this is, but this is starting to bug me. Unfortunately, putting a Pokégear on silent isn't an option, so I sort of have to go on with my life. Why did I give everyone who asked my phone number? I don't even remember why. All the common sense in my brain must have taken a three month journey like the rest of me.

Another thing that happened was that I had a strong urge to...do something. I was in the middle of the woods with no bathroom around for miles, so I went deeper in and found a nice, lonely bush. I started to, you know, do my business, when I noticed a shadow of a human figure from the corner of my eyes. It was a bad moment. I panicked and ran off, freaking out about that random person. I fell into the ground, knees first, and strokes of pain slashed at my knees as I stumbled down. I got up, with my clothing full of grass stains and dirt. My pants were ripped at the knees, and when I touched it, I felt a stab of pain. I rose my hands to view a small drop of blood, lingering at my palm, as it slowly dripped down my palm and near my wrist.

A few minutes later I bumped into a fisherman. He was confused by my sudden emergence from the darkness, but wanted to have a Pokémon battle with me. I couldn't refuse, because Miranda licked the fisherman's shoes with evil intent, and Cinder encouraged her because he thought it was all good fun.

I didn't know why this shit always happens to me, but it always happens.

Then, a girl named Krise called me. She wanted me to go to the National Park for whatever reason. I talked to her quickly and turned off the Pokégear. When I walked back to where I'd tried to piss before, I realized that the thing I was alarmed by was the humanlike shadow of a cranberry bush. I mentally slapped myself.

I ran to Mahogany Town. Even though the "town" was out there in the middle of nowhere, I too was in the middle of nowhere and it took a short amount of time to get there. The dreary rustic place was as quiet as usual, a sore point for a place based around tourism. I hurried to the Pokémon Center, discovered that they had no bathroom, but there was a changing room downstairs. I went downstairs on an escalator that sounded like a snake, ready to change my disgusting garments when the clerk started giving me a tour.

"Hello, come over here!" she called out, from behind her blue counter. I froze.

She beamed at me as I came closer. "Hello. I'm so glad to meet you. My name is Teala, and I'm your guide to the Pokémon Wi-Fi Club."

"Where is the changing room?"

"I have to tell you something about Wi-Fi now, or something like that. So hold it in there."

"Um—" I started, but she cut me off.

"First, I need to give you this," she said, handing me a Pal Pad.

I placed the Pad carefully into my bag, then tried to excuse myself. Cinder sneezed, loudly.

"No, no, this is only going to take a minute," Teala said. "that's your Pal Pad. You may register your friends in it." I didn't have the heart to tell her that my only friend moved away a while ago. "Once registered, you may link with those friends over Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection to trade Pokémon, battle, and so on."

"Does it connect with people in Hoenn?" I interrupted.

She blinked. "Uh, no. Anyway, would you like to know more?"

Hell no. "No, thank you."

"I hope you enjoy using Nintendo WFC!" she added with a practiced smile. She immediately looked over my shoulder for the next victim—customer. Cinder backed away from her gaze before shivering.

I sprinted to the barely existent changing room that was around the corner around another corner and down the hall. Don't try to look for it on your own, it barely exists. I was in such a rush, I didn't realize until I got out that Teala had no obvious way of getting out of work. Judging from her location at her workplace, she would have to climb over the counter every day to leave work. She was blocked, on all sides, by the counter and three walls, with a door nonexistent. This situation must have been created by her fellow enemies at work. The brown haired man at the other desk with the vanilla milkshake seemed suspicious, and so did the girl with the curled red hair, who was gathering up paperwork.

Remember, how a long time ago, I thought of working at the Pokémon Center for easy money? Forget about it. It's a cutthroat world over there.


The village took only a minute to go through, but prior to going on the road I bought a RageCandyBar as a souvenir. I don't intend on eating it, because the wrapper advertised the candy having seventeen types of nuts in it, and I'm not sure if I like even half of them. Still, everyone buys RageCandyBars at Mahogany Town, so I felt obliged to do the same.

I entered Route 44 for the first time. It was notable because Cinder decided to evolve into a Typhlosion there.

I wasn't expecting him to mature so quickly. Until he evolved, he was quiet and unassuming. To be honest with you, because I know Cinder isn't reading this right now, I had kind of been ignoring him in the middle of everything else going on. The other Pokémon (save for Hamako, I suppose) constantly demanded attention. Cinder, on the other hand, had been quietly growing on the side. My heart broke at the revelation, so I vowed to spend the next few hours focused on Cinder.

Typhlosion was like an extended version of Quilava that learned to walk. It also grew some sharper teeth. I asked Cinder jokingly to display those teeth to me, and he bit Kitty in response. He meant it as a joke, but Kitty started crying and wouldn't stop until I bought another RageCandyBar for him to eat. Kitty was amused by sucking the chocolate for a while, but eventually the chocolate melted and Kitty cried some more. I had to give him an Apricorn for him to play fetch with. He tried to play fetch with Miranda, but instead of giving the Apricorn back, she threw it into a lake. She apparently thought that fetch was a degrading game. Lorcan painstakingly suggested they all play tag, so they started doing that, but it was clear from the start that Hamako had an extreme disadvantage and Cinder had an extreme advantage. So right off the bat, I spent the next few hours trying to get Kitty not to cry, buying candy bars and teaching them how to play fetch, and I was spending none of that time with Cinder. Cinder, who had so quietly grown, I barely notice that he was becoming an adult until he had to literally explode in front of me. I have problems with my observation skills.

I decided for us to take a break from traveling and to lay down for a while. I bought a cheap sleeping bag at Goldenrod. I laid it out, putting everyone in their Poké Balls save for Cinder, because it was still his training period. Cinder accepted this, curling up on the dark blue blankets that I had provided for him. I couldn't fall asleep. I stared at the night sky, still thinking.

After a while, Cinder got up. I got up, too. He was pretty tall by now, but I was still taller. I'd gotten taller since the beginning of my Pokémon journey, though of course, it hadn't been by much.

"I couldn't sleep, either," I said. "Let's go beat some random Ace Trainers on the road."

We walked over to the main path. We didn't have to communicate anymore than that. We knew where each other was going. It feels like we've been going to the same place since that first day. It would've been a nice moment and all, but Cinder kept yawning and my nose kept itching.


So, after all of that, I had to cross the Ice Path. The name sounds dangerous and vague, and the path itself is dangerous and vague. For once, the Johto cartographers finally have something right.