Sorry I Couldn't be Better 29- Our Own House

So whilst this is a tad late, this is for Maggie Hitsugaya who celebrated their birthday recently. I hope you had an amazing day my friend!

PLEASE READ THIS

Okay so right at the end of this chapter is another movie made by Harvar. As a keen movie maker myself, I've tried something out. Using the song and Soul Eater clips and pictures, I've replicated the tribute as best I can. I can't draw and some scenes won't match up with anything in the cannon world but I've tried my hardest. So when you reach that part, you can also watch the movie at my YouTube channel ToshiTophChan.

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And as always, big special strawberry hugs and love to all those who read, favourite and follow. I may not be able to talk to you directly but I am sending all my thanks and love your way.

Disclaimer: I haven't even read all of Soul Eater so aha, I should get onto that. Not mine btw.


The next day, Maka was up bright and early, ready for a nice day of lessons and time with her friends. She missed science with Mr Costanzo and today was maths with Mrs Dunks, a slightly nerdy yet trendy lady with a terrible sense of humour according to Kid.

Everyone seemed pretty chirpy at breakfast. Patty made her tallest food tower yet, using apples oranges and mangos with help from Liz and Kid. Soul actually sat with them though he was pretty quiet and just picked at his food. BlackStar was eagerly talking to Tsubaki about something whilst she smiled and peeled an orange before it could be stolen for the fruit tower.

Maka snuck a look behind her at the other tables. Crona was sitting alone, fiddling with their messy pink hair. Their black bulbous toy was at their side as if they couldn't bear to be parted with it. They seemed happy though, a small smile on their face. At the other table, Ox's group of friends were messing around with a disposable camera, trying and failing to take selfies before Harvar snatched it up and hid it under the table.

It seemed like the entire floor was in a good mood.

"Alright, off to maths. Remember, you'll be called out over the course of today for the usual private sessions." Sid said once breakfast was over.

"Urgh maths," Liz pulled a face. Patty mimicked her. There were murmurs of agreement and Maka couldn't help but laugh. Some things were the same everywhere.

"I hope she brought lollies." BlackStar said thoughtfully. "Because she promised she would before break."

"How do you still remember that?" Soul asked in disbelief.

"Don't question BlackStar when it comes to food." Maka found herself saying.

"True," Kid laughed

After the meeting with her parents and breaking down in front of her friends, Maka was more relaxed around everyone in the hospital. Subconsciously, she had been afraid to share her thoughts or say anything that could be taken as offensive. Now, the words came more easily and she spoke without fear of retribution.

It had lifted another weight off her chest, not being so scared to slip up around her friends.

"How good at maths w-were you?" Tsubaki slipped in to stand walk next to Maka as they moved through the halls to get to the classroom.

"Average I guess." Maka shrugged. "Not my best, not my worst."

"Same," Tsubaki smiled. "I preferred music."

"English for me," Maka slipped into the easy conversation with her friend, glad to see her stutter was barely there.

As they arrived at the classroom, some random guy Maka had never seen before was standing outside the door. She heard Luke sigh and the two walked away. He was probably the boy's therapist.

"Come in," a slightly impatient voice called out. "We have a lot to catch up on."

Maka hung back, slightly nervous to meet this teacher. They seemed like the no nonsense type despite what Kid had said. She shouldn't have been worried. She was greeted with the sight of a lady with choppy silver hair and a giant scarf that looked vaguely familiar. It was from some old TV show, Maka decided as she slipped into a desk.

Instantly, the lady threw a lolly at BlackStar.

"There you go." She said loudly. "Now, indices."

"Mrs Dunks, we have a new person." Ox said politely. The teacher took a moment to consider her roll.

"Maka, right." Her eyes instantly found Maka in the crowd of patients. "Nice to meet you. Back to indices." She gave a loud laugh and turned to the board.

Maka sat there, slightly taken aback. It wasn't the welcome she'd been expecting. Still, laughter bubbled up inside her and she focused on the rapidly appearing notes on the board. So far, it was a nice day. She was going to enjoy it.

Indices weren't the easiest thing nor were they the hardest. Maka focused on the numbers, trying to recall what she'd learnt in maths back at her old school. Maths was something she worked hard at purely because it was just another subject. An A to aim for to earn her parent's approval.

Now, as she stared at the equation she couldn't care less about, she realised she didn't have to go into a career like theirs, a smart office job or a role in the community that would earn her lots of money. She could be anything she wanted to be.

She could be an artist! An author! She could write about her time in the hospital. She could draw a totally awesome comic or manga, whatever it was called. She could make movies just for the fun of it or be an actress who waited at bars on the weekends. She was free from their controlling grip, their disapproving stares at her love of the arts.

It was still sinking in for Maka, the fact that she'd freed herself from them, that she no longer cared what they thought about her. It was their turn to reach out to her. She was done being the one doing all the pulling whilst they dragged along behind her.

Maka laughed as BlackStar pretended to be Sid, giggled as Liz pranked Kid and chuckled as Patty drew a giraffe where her answer to question B3 should be.

She was having a good time. In fact, she was having a great time.

That was until Sid and Marie appeared at the door.

"Maka," Marie called.

"Soul," Sid said, a beat behind her.

The two got up, exchanging glances. Was it just a coincidence that they were being called up at the same time? Or was something else going on behind the scenes?

"Collect your homework afterwards." Mrs Dunks called out as they left.

"Follow me," Marie said and when Maka moved to do just so and Soul remained motionless, the usually cheery therapist fixed Soul with a look Maka could not decipher. "You too Soul."

Maka shot Soul yet another look but this time her friend was staring at his feet. Maka copied him as they walked, watching her neat shoes distort into one continuous blur.

"Maka, I'm sorry we had to drag you out of class." Marie said once they reached their destination, an office that had to be Sid's with its odd collection of zombie books and figurines, a few pictures of him and Nygus and a collection of headbands. "Really I am but," she leaned in to whisper in Maka's ear "I need you to help us with Soul. He mentioned to Sid briefly that he told you something about his two months."

"Well yeah," Maka whispered back. "But I don't really know what it means. All he said was two months." She felt like running from the room. What was going on? This was all happening so quickly.

"You're about to find out." Marie straightened up. "Soul, sorry we have to do this."

"Whatever this is," Soul grumbled, settling into his seat with Sid next to him and Maka across from him.

"Soul, you said you'd talk to Maka about what's been going on. You said you would because you didn't want to tip Kid over the edge and that Maka was the only other person you trust." Sid jumped right in.

Maka felt her cheeks flame. Soul trusted her this much?

"I said I would if I had no choice but to speak to someone." Soul said grumpily. "What is this about? There's no point. I'll be gone…" he trailed off and purposely ignored Maka's questioning look.

"Soul, you're giving up." Marie said gently. "You heard what your…family had decided and just stopped trying."

"So?" Soul folded his arms. "Listen, can you leave Maka out of this? She has enough on her plate. I would never have said I'd talk to her if I'd known she was going to talk to her parents. This stuff's too depressing for Maka, for anyone."

"We're trying to help you." Sid said patiently. "You have two months and no matter what the head doctors say, you are making progress. So don't just let us lose all the hard work we're been doing."

"Um…" Maka broke in after silence followed Sid's statement. "I know Soul has a reason to be in the hospital but until his brother came, I never really knew what it was. It wasn't obvious to me. Believe it or not Soul, we can see it too." She gave him a small smile. She'd helped Kid, her friend's had helped her. Now she was going to help Soul who'd done so much for her.

"Not enough to warrant letting me out." Soul shot back. "Listen Maka it's hopeless. No one can help me alright? So just go away and do your maths. Focus on yourself."

"Soul, I want to help you." Maka protested.

"I don't need your help!" He shouted at her, those four words striking deep into a part of Maka she didn't even know she had.

"Soul, this is part of your treatment." Sid said sternly. "So you either talk to Maka or talk to someone else. I…I don't want you to be locked away forever. I'm here to help you. I need to help you."

"Well…you both have to leave the room." Soul turned his head away, defeated. "Or I won't speak to her."

Maka stared, part of her hoping that Marie and Sid would agree but another part begging them to stay. She had no idea what she was about to hear. And even though she wanted to help Soul, she had no idea how to.

"Very well," Sid agreed after having a silent fight with Soul, both mirroring each other from their unblinking eyes to their crossed arms.

"Maka, you have to promise to tell me if he actually shares anything or not." Marie's voice was light in her ear, barely there in fact. Then she breezed out, following Sid and leaving the two alone.

Soul and Maka sat there, not looking at each other. For a few brief moments, it looked like Soul was trying to form sentences but they weren't coming. Finally, he bent over and swore.

"Soul, what's wrong?" Maka figured that since Soul had broken the silence, she could continue to keep it shattered.

"I…far out, I haven't had trouble forming sentences since before the…the hospital." He said angrily, driving his fist into his thigh in frustration.

"What?" Maka blinked in confusion.

"Forming sentences," Soul clarified, taking a deep breath. "They're right. I'm giving up. I figure if they're going to lock me away for good, I might as well stop trying to have control over it."

"Over what?"

"My…my disease. My condition. My illness, sickness, ailment. My disorder!" He yelled them out, spitting them as though voicing all the words would make it less true.

"Soul, I don't know what your…disorder is." Maka said slowly. "I want to help you Soul, really."

"You can't even help yourself Maka!" Soul yelled.

"Yes I can!" Maka yelled right back. "I can and I am! I'm free from my parents, the dreams are stopping, I'm not waking up and dreading to live each day. So don't tell me I can't help myself. Because I am! And now I'm going to help you because you helped me! You're still helping me!"

"You…you're so much stronger Maka." Soul dropped his head into his hands. "But you don't owe me anything."

"Do I have to owe you anything to help you? I'm your friend Soul." She was pleading now, trying to get through to him. It seemed that as soon as one problem was solved, another arose. But Maka didn't care. She was going to help Soul if it was the last thing she did in the hospital.

"It's…not a pretty story." Soul said eventually. "I don't want to make you relapse."

"I want to hear it Soul, really."

"Did you know Maka, that schizophrenic breaks aren't meant to happen until around adulthood?" Soul said suddenly.

"No," Maka drew it out. "What does this have to do with…oh no."

"Oh yes," Soul said grimly. "I was diagnosed at the age of eleven. And only because of my paranoia, hallucinations, depression and confusion got too much for my parents to handle. They tried to ignore it. At first it was just one thing and then another and then the next thing I know, they're slapping schizophrenic on me, patting themselves on the back for having found a solution and declaring me a medical rarity or something like that." He gave a long sigh. "They thought that once I was on medication, it'd be fine. They ignored me, my parents. They focused on my prodigal brother Wes and his bloody violin. Sure broke their heart when he decided to be a copper instead."

"Soul…"

"Speechless at my story huh?" Soul barked out a laugh. "Of course you are. You don't see it every day. Happy that they'd worked out what was wrong, they swept me and my problems under the rug. I was left alone constantly which was made everything ten times worse. Of course it got too much for little ol' Soul to handle. The delusions, the hysteria, the everything. He couldn't handle it. I…I couldn't handle it."

"What happened?" Maka whispered. "What…what did you do?"

"Pops collected old swords." Soul began slowly. All so slowly. "And one day, nothing was working out for me. When I woke up, I was alone. Wes was out, my parents were gone. I was seeing things left right and centre and no one was there to tell me they weren't real. I could barely move, my depression was literally crippling me. I was so paranoid and confused and everything was terrible. I couldn't find my medication. All I could do was lose control. The next thing I knew I was…I had a sword in my hand and I was slashing at things, these terrible monsters and then, I slashed at the worst monster of all.

"Myself,"

Maka could imagine it. A young terrified Soul, slashing at things that weren't real until he turned the sword on himself, driven mad by not only his disorder but his isolation.

"Wes found me before I could bleed out, called the ambulance. My parents, when they came to see me, were so sure it was an accident. I was young and kinda small for my age plus with my schizophrenia, they were certain everything would be cleared up and I could come home. Having a son like me…well it was like Kid's parents. To them, a child with a mental illness was the biggest shame you could force upon them. They were in my hospital room, smiling these sickly grins. And then I straight up told them they should have let me die. Well they listened to Wes and shoved me into DWMA the moment I could stand. And I've been here ever since."

"Soul…" Maka bit back tears. It was everything she'd imagined and worse.

"And the two months, I'm guessing you pretty much know what they mean."

"I think so," she said unsurely. "You're leaving the hospital."

"Yeah but I'm not going home." Soul began to gnaw at his thumb. "It's a long term care facility for people who are pretty much guaranteed never to recover from their disorder. My parents are letting me have two more months to see if by some sheer luck, a miracle happens and I'll start getting better. Fat chance of that happening. They're just going to lock me away and pretend I don't exist."

"What…what does it mean, when you go there?" Maka bit her lip, suddenly afraid of the answer she was about to receive.

"Well they'll keep me comfortable and that's about it." Soul shrugged. "No therapy, it's game over for me."

"No!" Maka cried out. "I refuse to believe it! I won't let them give up on you. You said it yourself, you hadn't had trouble forming sentences since before the hospital. This place is good for you. You're getting better. I know it!"

"Not better enough," Soul snorted. "The only good thing is that most people from DWMA get sent there if there's no chance of recovery so I'll know people. We can stick together."

"Soul…you're my best friend." Maka felt the tears fall, tears she couldn't control. "You can't leave me Soul. You can't."

"Two months Maka and I'm gone. Less now." Soul gave her a weak smile. "Better start saying your goodbyes."

"You're giving up Soul!" The depressed teen snapped. "Stop. Stop thinking just because they're sending you away in two months if you don't show signs of improvement has sealed your fate. You just need to work to show how much better you are. Don't let this beat you! Where's the Soul that tried so hard to help Kid when he broke down, when he went missing, when he was screaming his head off on Floor Five? The Soul who cares for everyone here no matter how annoying they are. The Soul who's broken rules to help everyone. The Soul that found me and took me to our friends when I had lost the plot. The Soul who snuck into the infirmary to see me and Kid. That's the Soul your parents can't see but should see. You are better Soul. You are!" Maka poured every ounce of her strength into her words, begging Soul to believe her, to stop giving up, to stop falling and start climbing.

"Maka that's enough." It was Marie, a gentle hand resting on the girl's shoulder. Maka looked at Soul and was shocked to see he was crying.

"Soul, I'm so sorry," she gasped out. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"No it's alright Maka," Soul said through his tears. "It's a good thing."

"I…"

"Trust me, it's a good thing."


Dear Maka

Thank you for all your help.

I'm not meant to talk to you about your feelings as I'm not your therapist but I'm not technically talking here.

Soul is struggling at the moment but you've helped lessen his load. I cannot thank you enough.

In a place like this, we try to make sure the patients are not too dependent on each other. It can be dangerous. However, you two need each other. You work together well, it's almost like synchronization.

I am going to do everything I can to keep Soul here until he's ready to leave and not to a care facility. I hope you will join me in my efforts.

-Sid


Together the teens of DWMA Floor Four gathered in front of the TV, popcorn clasped in hands and resting on pillows to spare them from the hard floor.

Azusa slid a DVD into the player, the machine greedily swallowing its offering.

"What are we watching?" Patty asked yet again. "Is it an anime? Or a documentary on giraffes?"

"No and no," Marie said from behind the rows of teens. "It's a surprise."

With that, Azusa produced a blanket and covered the screen before the menu could give away what they were watching.

"Before we watch this, someone would like to say something." Sid announced.

And suddenly, picking their way to the front of the room was Harvar, skin sweaty and pale as he came to a stop facing everyone. Maka's heart went out for him but at the same time, curiosity flooded her system. What was Harvar doing?

"Um…" the usually silent teen bit his lip nervously, eyes meeting someone's in the crowd behind his glasses. Maka looked to the side and saw Ox, nodding back. "I…everyone's been h-having tough times lately." He said quietly and carefully, as though it was a speech he'd practiced and was mucking up. "And I…I know I d-don't really involve myself much b-but…I made a m-movie to c-cheer everyone up." He turned to the screen. "Um…yeah…here goes."

He pulled the blanket away to reveal the menu with the buttons Play, Scenes and Notes. The menu scene was a picture wall with different scenes from the movie appearing in small rectangles. Maka saw her face once or twice before they vanished behind other scenes.

Harvar clicked play.

Came in like the breeze. I felt it in my knees.

BlackStar and Soul running up to each other in the gym, slow motion and all.

Never will it leave. Each day it is retrieved.

Liz and Patty building a food tower, an apple bouncing away only to be snatched up by Kid and placed back on.

Seems like yesterday, your eyes crept this way.

Tami and Luke sneaking up on Ox.

Into my soul you stared and broke down every fear.

Maka's first day in group, a shy smile on her face.

We built our own house, own house, with our hands over our heart.

Tsubaki singing in music, eyes alight with joy.

And we swore on that day, that it will never fall apart.

Jacqueline and Kim hugging, the latter almost picking the other up.

We built our own house, own house, with our hands over our heart!

A pillow fight at a sleepover, Crona's black bulbous shape toy flying into Soul's head.

And we swore on that day, that it will never fall apart!

Kilik lifting the Pots above his head as they danced around gleefully.

Will never fall apart!

At the aquarium, all of them staring in wonder at the fish and sharks above them.

Will never fall apart!

Harvar and Ox playing chess.

With our hands over our hearts,

A fashion show, all of them holding prizes and laughing.

Will never fall apart!

Kim's farewell lunch, everyone laughing and smiling around one big table.

The song went on and on with new scenes flashing up. Kid hugging Maka, Liz swinging Patty around, BlackStar flashing a peace sign. Luke getting Tami to eat, Jaqueline playing the drums, Kilik eating a birthday cake. On and on until finally, the music was dying away.

And then there was the final clip. Only it wasn't a clip. It was a picture.

It was all of them at the aquarium in front of the sign. They'd taken the picture right before they left.

Kilik was at one end, the Pots on his shoulders as they all waved excitedly at the camera, smiles frozen in place. At the other end was Jacqueline and Kim who had been dragged into the photo. They're arms were around each other and rather than looking at the camera, they were staring at each other. Next to Kilik was Luke who had Tami next to him. They were back to back, flashing peace signs at the camera. Next to Kim were Ox and Kilik, Ox with an arm around Harvar and grinning at his friend. Harvar smiled shyly outwards. Then next to Tami was Tsubaki, her smile wider than ever as she wrapped an arm around Liz who was in turn hugging Patty. Somehow, Harvar had photo shopped Crona's head in behind Ox, refusing to leave anyone out and then there was BlackStar, frozen in mid jump as Soul laughed at him and Kid smiled politely at the camera. And then there was Maka, right in the middle with her eyes alight, back straight and smile wider than ever before.

We'll never fall apart.


Song is Our Own House by Misterwives. I don't own it. Check them out, they're the best!

Also I'm going back to school very soon and hitting the big final year so updates may not be so regular as my controlling mum is like 'NO LEISURE ACTIVITIES I EXPECT ONLY THE BEST FROM YOU RAH RAH RAH.' I hope you do continue to stick with the story though.

Please review xxxxxxxx