I'm back.
As always, thank you so much for all the story/author alerts I have and continue to receive for this story. It's so great to know people are enjoying it. And a big thanks to Naleylover87, Katie, kaefoster, bacck2blacck, NALEYAAF23, SPNALEY, Othfan48, HBJHOTH23 (chapter 26-27), 2naley, girlsjustwanttohavefun, GRemy, saderia, othlove409, Shelley, woz1971, NurseB2012, crazygirl, MatTeneyMoNdlerLoVer (chapters 26-28), amkjo001, courtneylovejason, and the guests who left reviews. You are all so amazing - keep me inspired!
AN: For those of you who love Scrubs as much as I do, you might recognize something I "borrowed" from the show - so that specific reference, I do not own. That belongs to Bill Lawrence and everyone else who is affiliated with Scrubs. ;)
Please forgive any spelling/grammar mistakes.
Disclaimer: I own nothing affiliated with One Tree Hill.
December 31, 2007
Nathan stood at the counter, waiting as Rick prepared the drinks. His eyes scanned the crowded club. Everywhere he looked, there were herds of people. Most of them looked to be of high school age - those who were too young to step foot inside any regular bars or nightclubs but still wanted somewhere fun to be to ring in the new year. There were, of course, some other age groups as well. Even a few people he graduated with but never hung around with were here tonight. They sent each other waves or nods of acknowledgments but nothing further was necessary.
He felt another presence near him and turned slightly to his left, finding his mother standing next to him. He sent her a warm smile as she reciprocated. Before either of them could say anything, Lucas joined them on Karen's other side.
"Don't you two have somewhere to be?" Karen questioned, glancing between her two boys. "It's New Year's Eve and you're here. With your mother and stepmother, I might add."
Lucas and Nathan both looked behind the counter at Deb who was now standing with them, smirking.
"You guys are in your early twenties and you're here with your moms. What are you doing?" Karen asked, the amusement twinkling in her eyes.
"We just want to help, mom. It's a little busy in here tonight." Nathan noted, gesturing to the packs of people swarming around them.
"Yeah - and that's why we have employees who work for us." She countered with a little chuckle. "It's like this almost every weekend. This isn't anything we aren't used to or even equipped to handle."
Nathan only shrugged.
Karen rolled her eyes. "You're both young - call up some old friends and go out. Go celebrate New Year's. Have some fun. Get into some trouble - not too much, though. I don't want to receive a phone call in the middle of the night for bail money." She joked, watching as the two boys' lips curved into a slight grin.
"Well, I guess it would be nice to hang out with the guys." Lucas stated, pulling out his cell phone as his eyes grazed through his list of contacts. "Perfect time to do so, too - you know, since Brooke's in California and all."
"Good, it's settled." Karen said, slapping her palms against the counter. "The two of you are getting out of here to find something much more fun to do with your night."
Rick placed the last drink on the black tray. Nathan went to grab it when his mother gently slapped his hands away, taking it herself while telling him to follow his brother's lead and find somewhere else to go. Then Karen was strolling away. Deb sent both boys a smile before disappearing from their sight as well.
Nathan sighed, glancing around Tric. He plopped down on the stool and thanked Rick who had just placed a beer on the counter for him. As he took a swig of the smooth, refreshing liquid, Nathan watched as two girls slowly strolled towards his direction. They were cute - one was blonde while the other was brunette. They were both skinny and petite with pretty, delicate features and dressed in clothing that indicated their clear starvation for getting noticed. The blonde blushed lightly as they caught his eye. She sent him a small, flirtatious smile as her friend waved at him. He only sent a quick nod in response before looking away, hearing them giggle quietly in the near distance. He closed his eyes for a moment, praying they would keep walking. When he was positive they had, Nathan opened his eyes once more and took another swig of his drink. Two things came to his mind when he saw those girls - jail bait and Haley.
Speaking of Haley, he glanced at his phone to check the time. She was at the café since she insisted on closing so Paige could have the night off. He and Haley made plans to meet up afterward. Nathan's original plan was to help her at the café (or most likely wait in one of the booths until she finished) but Haley suggested he see if his mother needed any help at the club. Karen didn't but that didn't stop him from helping regardless. Lucas either. Nathan was also trying to buy some time and keep his mind occupied considering all he could think about was being with Haley later.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a low chuckle, and his attention was now on Lucas.
"My plans are set for the night." Lucas said, glancing from his phone to his brother. "Fergie said there's a huge rager going on. A lot of the guys are there now." He nudged Nathan in the side. "You wanna go?"
Nathan shook his head, informing the older Scott brother that he had other plans.
"Who's the girl?"
Nathan looked at his brother confused and couldn't help but voice that confusion with a disgruntled, "Huh?"
"You'd only turn down a rager if you were meeting up with some chick." Lucas laughed as Nathan sent him a strained smile. "So who is it? Teresa? I saw her at the market the other day; she asked about you."
Nathan rolled his eyes as Lucas's lips curved into a smirk.
"She wanted to know if you switched your number cause she texted you the day she got into town but you never replied." Lucas laughed again, knowing his brother definitely didn't change his number.
The younger Scott brother couldn't help but smirk at the reminder of that particular moment.
Nathan was lounging back against the couch, his legs stretched out in front of him on the coffee table in the family room at the beach house. His father and stepmother was at some holiday gala for Deb's work. "It's a Wonderful Life" was playing on the television - both his and Haley's favorite Christmas movie. He ran his fingers through Haley's hair softly as she lay sideways along the couch with her head resting on the tops of his thighs; the small throw blanket was covering the length of her body. He was so incredibly relaxed, feeling as if he could fall asleep at any moment. That was until his cell phone chimed, lighting up on the armrest.
"Who is it?" Haley asked tiredly as he picked it up.
He let out a low sigh as he read the message. "Teresa. She wants me to come over; her parents are gone for the night - some party in Raleigh. She knows I'm home since she saw my car in the driveway."
"Is she stalking you or something?" Haley asked, the annoyance clear in her tone.
Nathan let out an incoherent chuckle but before he could respond, the phone was yanked from his hands. He grinned widely, watching as she deleted the text message as well as Teresa as a contact in general before handing the phone to him. He placed it right back in its original position on the armrest, not muttering a single word as he resumed with watching the film. He thought about teasing Haley a little bit with her obvious jealousy but decided against - he loved seeing this side of her. Haley didn't have anything to worry about and she knew that but it still didn't stop her from acting like the jealous girlfriend from time to time - besides, it was a complete turn on for Nathan. And honestly, he had no room to talk considering he acted like the jealous boyfriend from time to time as well.
"Yeah, I got the text. And no, I'm not meeting Teresa tonight or any other night."
"Then who?" Lucas prodded.
"Luke, it's just some girl I met - you don't know her. No big deal, all right?" Nathan said, watching as his brother seemed to accept that answer as he simply nodded in response.
Nathan finished off the rest of his beer, handing the now empty bottle over to Rick who discarded it for him. He turned back around, listening absent-mindedly as Lucas went on about something or another. Nathan wasn't really paying any attention. He glanced one more time at his phone. 10:43. Haley should be done by now or close to it; she was probably finishing up with the cleaning.
"You leaving soon?" He asked his brother.
Lucas nodded. "Yup. Now actually. Just gonna say goodbye to mom - make sure she really doesn't need or want our help and then I'm gonna take off. You sure you don't wanna come?"
"Nah, man. I'm fine. Have fun."
"All right. I'll see you later." Lucas said, clipping his younger brother on the should before pushing himself away from the counter, strolling until he was no longer in sight.
OTHOTHOTH
Nathan climbed the two small steps leading up to the unlit porch. Glancing in every direction surrounding him, he opened the unlocked door and stepped into the house. He closed and locked the door behind him. The house was dark, and if he wasn't already familiar with the layout, he would have been forced to flip a light switch on. Instead, he maneuvered his way easily towards the staircase and ascended the steps, hearing the quiet creeks along the way. He walked through the short hallway before disappearing into one of the rooms. He closed the door behind him, and as soon as he turned around, her soft, nimble hands were on his chest, unbuttoning the buttons of his black dress shirt.
"Finally. What took you so long?"
"Sorry." He apologized, wrapping his arms around her waist, growing completely and pleasantly surprised when he realized she was already naked. "A little impatient tonight, are we, Hales?"
"Well, what did you expect?" She asked rhetorically, pushing the shirt off his body and instantly set to work on his belt.
The room was almost pitch black, but he didn't have to see her to know she was smirking. He pulled her into him. "You cut into our foreplay. You know how much I like to undress you myself." He whispered huskily in her ear as she promptly pushed the jeans down his legs and he kicked them off to the side.
"It's not my fault you kept me waiting. You're lucky - I was two seconds away from starting without you." She said, running her fingers along the waistband of his boxers, snapping them lightly.
Nathan chuckled, instantly feeling his body react to her words and her actions. He drew her in closer, if that was even possible.
Haley let out a quiet moan when she felt his lips land on her neck. His kisses were light but it didn't take long at all before he sucked harder, nipping and biting at her flesh. "Don't mark me." She warned, letting out a yelp as his hands unexpectantly travelled down her body, latching onto her thighs.
He lifted her easily from the ground, and she immediately wrapped her legs loosely around his waist as he carried her over to the bed.
When she was laying horizontally along the bed, Haley placed her feet flat on the mattress, bending her knees so she was completely open and ready for him. "At least not anywhere people can see."
Nathan leaned back and could make out the contours of Haley's face now that his eyes were more adjusted to the darkness. She was smiling up at him in that innocent Haley James way. He smirked in return, pushing himself up once more and quickly shed out of his, way too constricting, boxers.
Haley dropped her head back to her pillow, waiting as patiently as she could for him to rejoin her on the bed which she needed to be soon, because the wet heat between her legs was growing by the second. Thankfully, it didn't take much longer before she felt the mattress dip and then, he was hovering above her with their faces inches away from one another.
"Hi." She greeted with a sultry voice.
"Hi." He returned, closing the distance, their lips meeting at long last.
They joined quickly together then.
There was nothing slow and gentle about this encounter. Loud, almost animalistic, moans echoed throughout the room. Their names as well as a few curses here or there were breathed out. Layers of sweat formed over their bodies. They clawed and gripped each other's bare skin which would no doubt result in some light bruising or at the very least result in some soreness of their bodies come tomorrow morning. But none of that mattered at the moment, because right now it felt too damn good.
While neither of them wanted this to end, eventually they let go.
Nathan barely had any energy left but he somehow managed to push himself off of her and dropped onto his back.
"That was..."
"Amazing." Nathan finished for her, breathing heavily.
"Yeah." She agreed with a breathy tone.
"I forget how loud your bed is." He stated with a small laugh.
Haley turned her head and smiled at him.
"I don't know which was louder - the bed or you." He smirked, chuckling at the way her mouth went wide as she let out a playful scoff in defense. He rolled onto his side and placed his hand flat on her stomach, pulling her closer until her side was touching his stomach despite her weak protesting. "Not that I mind, of course. I love hearing what I do to you."
"Don't flatter yourself."
"Who gets the flattery then because last time I checked - it's only you and me in here, and you certainly weren't creating those sounds all by yourself." He said smugly.
"Do you always have to be so..."
"Right." He jumped in.
"Arrogant." She finished with a slightly raised tone - not out of anger but more annoyance.
"You can call it whatever you want, baby, but it was me who just got you off in one of the most powerful orgasms you've ever experienced."
"How would you know?" She challenged.
"Please." He scoffed in response. "Don't even try that on me. I know I'm still your one and only."
Haley sighed, rolling her eyes. "Fine. You win."
Nathan smiled victoriously. He glanced around and noticed Haley's favorite stuffed bear laying on the edge of the bed, almost falling off the side. Picking it up, he smirked. "I think we gave Mr. Waffles quite the show."
She laughed loudly, grabbing the bear from his hands. "Poor guy. We probably scarred him for life."
"You should probably wash him." He laughed, watching as she tossed the bear over the side of the bed.
Haley glanced at the alarm clock on her nightstand. 11:58. "Hey, it's almost midnight." She whispered.
"It is." He said, shifting his body so he was hovering half over her. Placing his left forearm against the bed to hold himself up, he brought his right hand to her cheek. He smiled down at her. "Perfect way to ring in the new year. Happy New Year's, Hales."
"Happy New Year's, Nathan." She repeated.
Nathan leaned down, layering his lips softly over hers. He sighed as their lips moved together in a slow, rhythmic pace. He ran his tongue along the bottom of her lip, probing her mouth to open. When it did and he pushed his tongue gently into her mouth, finding her own tongue as they massaged one another. Nathan didn't push for more; neither did Haley. He loved just simply kissing her - chaste, rough, passionate...it didn't matter how. Nathan loved it all. So for now, he was perfectly content with just doing this.
Nathan was lost in a peaceful slumber when a pair of arms wrapped around his torso. He smiled as he felt her soft, warm lips graze the back of his shoulder. He layered his hands over hers and sighed contentedly. "Good morning."
"Hmm...good morning." Haley mumbled tiredly. "What are your plans for today?" She asked as she continued to pepper his back with light kisses.
"I am all for staying in this bed all day."
She smiled against his skin. "We can definitely do that. I am kind of hungry, though." She moved in closer, pushing right up against his body. "Why don't you go make me some breakfast?"
"That's not gonna happen."
"Please, Nathan." She pleaded, kissing his back more aggressively as she snaked her left hand down over his hips, taking him into her hand and began to slowly pump him.
Nathan snapped his eyes shut, groaning. "You can do that all you want but I'm still not making breakfast." He said, feeling her body vibrate against him as she laughed.
Haley continued on with her hand's assault for several seconds before he turned onto his back and grasped her hips, shifting her body so she was straddling him. She smirked at him before leaning down, connecting their lips together. "How about a little kissing and some heavy petting before breakfast?" She mumbled against his lips.
"How about a lot of kissing?" He countered.
"I can live with that."
He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist as their lips smashed together.
The door flew open as Taylor walked in. "Hey, Hal...oh, wow!" She screeched, covering her eyes with her hands. She could hear the rustling of the blankets and looked through her fingers, watching as her sister scrambled off the guy before making sure they were both covered. Dropping her hands, Taylor got a good look at who that guy was - Nathan Scott.
Taylor let out a low whistle before smirking. "No wonder why you didn't want me tapping that again."
"Taylor, get out!" Haley hollered, throwing a pillow at her big sister.
The older James girl chuckled, pushing the pillow away from her as she turned around. "Have fun!" She sing-songed while strolling out of the bedroom and closed the door behind her.
"Well, that kind of killed the mood." Haley groaned.
"Speak for yourself." Nathan muttered, shrieking slightly as she back-handed him against the chest.
Taylor James sat on the stool at the island, drinking her coffee while flipping through the latest issue of Cosmopolitan. She smirked as she heard feet shuffling into the room. Glancing up, she saw her baby sister and Nathan - both appropriately dressed. "Rough night?" She questioned, the amusement laced in her tone, and laughed as Haley shot her a look. "Or satisfying night - whichever works for you."
Nathan and Haley both ignored her as they rummaged through the cupboard and the refrigerator, trying to figure out something to cook.
"Hey, Nathan - keeping it all in the family, huh?"
"Tay, stop." Haley warned, glaring at her sister.
Taylor wasn't at all fazed as she continued, "What about our other sisters? I'm guessing Vivian is a no considering the age difference and all but Quinn - come on, be honest. Did you stick it in her, too?"
"Taylor!" Haley exclaimed.
"Fine, fine." Taylor relented, holding her hands up in mock surrender. She glanced at Nathan who was actually blushing, clearly uncomfortable with this current conversation. A broad smirk formed on her lips. "I think we should compare notes - who's the better sister?"
Nathan knew exactly what the older James sister was doing and while he was hating this conversation - mainly because he didn't want Haley to be upset and have to think of him with his sister, he wasn't about to give in to her of all people. He looked Taylor directly in the eye and answered, "Haley."
Haley sent a quick, triumphant smirk towards her sister before smiling at Nathan. She leaned up on her tip-toes and kissed him chastely.
Taylor playfully rolled her eyes at their display. She was still trying to wrap her head around this. Haley, her baby sister who was the queen of virgins has been sleeping with Nathan. Nathan Scott - a guy who slept around just as much as she, herself, did in high school. How in the world did these two get together? Of both Scott boys, Taylor figured her sister would hook up with Lucas. It still baffled her how Lucas and Haley were so incredibly close yet always remained just friends.
"So...how long has this thing been going on?" Taylor questioned, shifting her glances between the two of them.
"None of your business." Haley answered.
"Oh, come on, Bob - you can tell me. Besides, we're vagingo sisters." The older James girl said, watching the confusion sweep over both Nathan and Haley's features. She rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "You know - we've had sex with the same guy. Our vagin..."
"Okay!" Haley interrupted, holding up her hands in front of her. "We get it!"
Nathan merely rolled his eyes.
Taylor simply laughed out loud.
As Nathan turned, Taylor noticed a tattoo on the shoulder of his right arm. His short shirt sleeve was raised slightly higher and she was able to make out HJ. What on earth did those letters stand for? Ridding those thoughts from her mind - she didn't really care anyway, Taylor glanced at Haley who was standing in front of the stove. Taylor's eyes shifted to her sister's lower back. The shirt was riding up just a little bit - she couldn't see the whole tattoo but she saw some of it. Besides, she knew it was there. The 23 immediately flashed through her mind. Taylor squinted her eyes as she shifted focus between Haley and Nathan, her brain working on overload. A wide smirk formed from her lips as she suddenly got an inkling as to what the meanings of those tattoos actually mean.
"Nathan, your jersey number was 23, right?" She asked as he simply nodded, clearly disinterested in what she was blubbering on about.
"Still is." Haley muttered, scooping the cheese omelet in the frying pan onto a plate before handing it to Nathan.
Taylor nodded slowly. She kept silent as she continued to watched Haley finish the omelet for herself while Nathan buttered the toast that just popped up from the toaster before the two plopped down in the seats across from her. Taylor sipper her coffee, finishing the beverage in three sips.
"Nathan," She began, waiting as the raven-haired guy looked up to her with hesitancy, "when did you get your tattoo?"
"Why do you care?" He asked, tiredly.
She shrugged. "Just curious. I don't remember if from when we were together."
"Well, if you must know - about four years ago." He answered, sending her a pointed look. "Satisfied now?"
"Very." She grinned. "Especially since you just answered my earlier question - kind of. You at least gave me a good idea of when this thing between you two started. So thanks."
"Oh, you're so welcome." Nathan replied sarcastically.
"Taylor, you can't say anything to anyone, especially Lucas." Haley jumped in, her voice slightly frantic.
"Ooh, a secret. How deceitful of you guys."
"Taylor!" Haley groaned. "Can you please just keep your mouth shut about this for now?"
The older sister waved her hand. "Don't worry, little sis - your secret's safe with me."
Haley thanked her, letting out a breath of relief as she watched Taylor leave the kitchen while announcing she was going to take a shower. Of course, Taylor made it a point to jokingly tell Nathan he's welcome to come join her. Rolling her eyes, Haley turned around and looked at Nathan with a wide smile. She stepped closer to him, placing her hands around his waist but was surprised and caught off-guard when he shrugged her off.
"What's wrong?"
"Why were you so insistent that Taylor keep her mouth shut about us?"
Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Because Taylor has a big mouth and I didn't want her saying anything to Lucas?"
"Why?" He asked, crossing his arms in front of him. "Why does it matter what she says to Lucas?"
"Nathan, he doesn't know about us and the last thing he deserves is to find out from Taylor. Lucas should hear it from us."
"Right." Nathan scoffed, laughing sarcastically as he whipped his body away from her.
"Hey..." Haley began softly, placing her hand on his arm. He shrugged her off again, though. She watched timidly as he faced her once more.
"And when exactly is that gonna be, Haley? Were you actually planning on telling Lucas or anyone else for that matter anytime soon?" He asked, feeling his muscles tense. His anger kept building and building.
"It hasn't been the right time."
"Oh, don't give me that shit, Haley! It's been over a year since we talked about telling people. I understand why we kept it a secret until after the wedding and even at Thanksgiving but now...what the hell are you waiting for?"
"Well, I'm not the only one. You've had plenty of opportunities to tell your brother but you haven't. So what the hell are you waiting for?" She countered.
"You!" He exclaimed, watching as she flinched slightly by his tone. "I'm waiting for you! You're the one who keeps putting this off. Every time we agree to tell everyone, you find some reason or another to stop. Believe me, there have been many times I almost told Lucas but forced myself not to. Because of you. I wasn't about to do something you weren't comfortable with and then have you pissed at me. But why are you waiting? Are you ashamed of this...or me?"
"No! How could you even think that?"
"You tell me." He replied, not skipping a beat. "I can't think of any reason why we're keeping this between us anymore. We already know Lucas is gonna be a dick about it - it doesn't matter when we tell him so what's the point in waiting? He'll get over it; he's a big boy, Hales. Stop letting him have this control over our relationship - this is about us, not Lucas."
"I'm not."
"Yeah, you are!"
"Nathan, it's not..."
"Haley, are we ever going to tell people about us?" He asked, his tone a little softer.
"Yes, of course." She immediately answered, taking a few cautious steps closer to him. When he didn't recoil away from her, she placed her hands against his stomach, her fingers grasping his shirt lightly. "I just...I don't know if...can we wait just a little longer?"
Nathan stared silently at her, long and hard. "I don't think I can wait any longer, Hales." He finally replied.
"What...are you gonna tell Lucas?"
He shook his head. "No, I would never do something you're uncomfortable with or not ready for. But I can't, Hales...I can't keep this a secret anymore. I don't want to. You do - and I can't help but wonder if there's a reason for that."
Haley began to move slowly into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Nathan, I..."
He took a step back, pushing her softly away from him. "Maybe you need some time to figure things out."
Haley could only watch as Nathan walked out of the kitchen in a haste. Seconds later she heard the front door slam shut.
OTHOTHOTH
With her body facing away from the door, Haley lay sideways on her bed. Slow tears strolled down her cheeks. Her phone was laying right in front of her; she had texted Nathan - three times - but he never replied. She felt the bed dip slightly and she closed her eyes. It wasn't long after when she felt a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Are you okay?" Taylor asked quietly. "I saw Nathan storm out of here." She sat on the bed, silently waiting for her sister to respond. After a few passing minutes, Taylor continued, "I'm sorry, Haley - if it was because of what I said...I was just jok..."
"No." Haley quickly interrupted, shaking her head. "It was nothing you said. This one is all on me."
Taylor moved her hand up to Haley's hair and began to run her fingers through it lightly. "What happened?"
Haley shook her head again.
"Okay, we don't have to talk about that." Taylor said, not wanting to push this issue and upset her sister even further but she did have another conversation in mind. "So...what is the deal with you and Nathan?" She asked, smacking Haley on the leg lightly.
Haley let out a small chuckle as she pushed herself up and adjusted her body into a sitting position, her legs crossed and tucked comfortably underneath her. She pulled at the sleeves of Nathan's Duke sweatshirt and wrapped her arms around her waist, after inhaling a quick whiff of her boyfriend's cologne.
"What do you want to know?" She questioned, timidly.
"Duh - you know me, Bob. I want to know everything. Dish the dirt."
Haley laughed again. "I lost my virginity to him our senior year."
"That's kind of ironic considering..."
"Yeah, yeah - you and Nathan." Haley interrupted, shaking her head as Taylor laughed. "It was spring break and we went out, got those tattoos - I know you've been dying to hear the story behind that one." She said as her sister nodded enthusiastically. "Anyway, we came back here and...yeah."
"So have you guys been together all this time?" Taylor asked.
The younger James shook her head. "No, that didn't really start until sophomore year. I mean, we kind of hooked up a few times in between but we made things official about a year ago. I don't know...it's weird - I never imagined being with Nathan in this way but..."
Taylor smiled broadly. "What way exactly?"
"A relationship. Being in love."
Taylor smiled at the giddy look on her baby sister's face. She can't remember a time she's seen her sister so happy before. Granted, she hasn't been home a lot in the past five years but it doesn't mean she didn't observe her family. Haley in particular. The two sisters have never been super close growing up and that accounted a lot to their completely different personalities. They fought a lot and were sometimes downright cruel to one another, but Taylor also looked after her youngest sister over the years as well. It's kind of like that unwritten rule between siblings, especially sisters. Taylor really loved to see Haley so happy; and she was really happy that it was because of a guy - because of love.
"Have you ever felt this way?" Haley asked.
"Sadly, no." Taylor answered, letting out a small laugh. "I wish I could say I have but...you know me, Hales. I'm all about the one-night-stands and the 'oh no, I actually care about this guy so I better run away now before things get too real'. I am a complete mess when it comes to guys and relationships. Don't get me wrong because I would love to get to that point with someone but I'm scared to death. I figure it's better to mess things up on my own as opposed to becoming too vulnerable and getting my heart broken. It's crazy but that's just who I am."
"Believe me, it doesn't sound so crazy." Haley muttered.
"What's going on, Bob?"
Haley shook her head and sighed quietly. "That's kind of how I feel with Nathan. We're at this point where we want to be open about our relationship and I want that - I really do, it's just..."
"It's just..." Taylor prodded as her sister's words faded away.
"I'm scared." Haley admitted, tears filling her eyes. "This relationship becomes really real when we tell people. It is real so I know that may sound ridiculous but...I don't know how to really explain it. I just...I shouldn't worry or even care about how anyone else is gonna feel about me and Nathan but I can't help it. I don't know if I've ever loved anyone or anything as much as I love Nathan. And that terrifies me just as much as it thrills me."
"It's okay to be scared, Haley."
"I know but Nathan...he just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why I'm so hesitant to tell people. And now he thinks it's because of us or because of him. It's not, though. It's not because of him. It's me - it's all me. I trust Nathan with my life but at the same time, I can't help but question things at times. What if he leaves? What if down the line, he decides he doesn't feel the same? Let's face it, he's going to the NBA and what if...I hate myself for thinking these things because I know he loves me and I know he would never hurt me, at least not intentionally but I can't help it. It's just in my head."
"And have you explained this to him?" Taylor questioned, watching as Haley hesitantly shook her head. She let out half a scoff and half a laugh. "Well, what do you expect, Hales? Do you really blame Nathan for feeling so insecure?"
"No, not at all." Haley was quick to respond. "I don't...I can't help but...I'm just waiting for the day he leaves me and maybe if we continue to keep this a secret, I can prolong that. I know it sounds crazy, especially given where we are in this relationship. He's reassured me so many times now that we're together. And how do I tell him this without him thinkin it's about him? This is me - it's all me."
Taylor sighed and shook her head. She grabbed Haley's hands in her own and settling them in her lap. "Haley, Nathan is not our parents."
Haley opened her mouth to protest and ask her sister what their parents had to do with any of this before closing it once more. She didn't really know how to respond to that - were these feelings because of her parents? The truth was, Haley didn't know where these feelings came from but never once chalked them up to her parents leaving eight years ago and abandoning her for all these years...but maybe Taylor had a point. Maybe the situation with her parents has affected her even deeper than she thought.
There you go - let me know what you think. I hope to have another update for you guys soon.
I told you guys the angst wasn't too much - just a small dose for now. :)
