"And how does that make you feel, Mr. Levesque?"
"sometimes it makes me feel like she doesn't care" he said softly
"but I do" I interrupted "it's just, when i'm mad I don't really listen to reason"
"And that's understandable as most people don't Stephanie." Dr. Kai said as he wrote down something on his pad
"So what should I do?" I asked
"Learn to listen, not just with your ears, but with your heart. You let things go in one ear and out the other without fulling understanding what your husband has said he wants from you. Instead, you hear what you want to hear and automatically go on the defensive and that's not good at all"
"I know" I said playing with my fingers "and I want to do better"
"I know you do, and it's not all your fault" Dr. Kai said shifting in his seat "every couple is different and sees and hears things differently."
"So what can we do? you know, to get everything back on track?" Paul asked
"Work at it Mr. Levesque, just work at it"
"So, how do you think today's session went?"
"better than I expected, honestly" I said
"really?"
"Yeah, I learned a few things about myself"
"thats good" Paul said as he reached over and grabbed my hand as we came to the red light
"yeah" I said softly as I took both my thumbs and played with the back of his hand. "so, the girls are coming over tomorrow"
Paul sighed. "Does this include the one I don't like?"
I chuckled. "Yes"
"I honestly don't see how you've remained friends with her"
"the same way she doesn't see how i've remained married to you"
He smirked. "I give you props for that one" he said with a chuckle.
We rode home in silence but it was a comfortable silence. I got home and cooked dinner and we played with Aiden before he went to bed. All in all, today was a pretty good day. It was tomorrow that would turn out to be the unexpected.
"so you're coming over for dinner?" I asked as I shifted the phone to my other ear as I picked up all of Aiden's toys. "no, thats fine, we'll be glad to have you and you know Aiden loves seeing you guys. You should stay the night" I said as I placed the toys in the wooden toy chest Paul got him, knowing it would only be a matter of minutes before he got home and took them out and destroyed the house again. "okay, i'll see you then Dad, love you too, bye" I said as I hung up the phone. "woo" I said letting out a sigh of relief as I looked around the living room, it was finally clean again. I don't even know why I bothered to clean it up, the girls wouldn't mind a little mess, they know how Aiden works. But it's nice to walk through the kitchen and living room without tripping on a ninja turtle or stepping on a lego for once.
"They're early" I said to myself after I heard the doorbell ring, I glanced down at my watch. "yep, definitely early, Kerry has to be the one driving" I said as I headed for the door. "hey guys" I said as I greeted my friends with a huge smile. "Kerry drove, didn't she?"
"That obvious, huh?" Alise asked as she gave me a hug before walking towards the kitchen
"yep" I answered back as I hugged the other girls.
"You know I love to be 15 minutes ahead of time" Kerry said as she took a seat on the couch in the living room.
"Well, you came just in time, enjoy the peace and quiet and cleanliness of the house before the boys get back" I said with a slight chuckle as I sat down
"awe" Trina said looking around "where's my boy?"
"He's out with his father, they went for a boys day out"
"that's so cute" Trina replied
"Beautiful" Alise said sarcastically
"you're such a bitch" Trina snapped
"I know, and you love me" Alise said as she gave her a quick peck on the cheek before biting into her freshly peeled orange and placing her bag of hot Cheetos in her lap.
"sometimes" Trina muttered
"so" I said clasping my hands together "what have you girls been up to?"
"Oh the usual, work and home life" Kerry said as she crossed her legs and sat Indian style on the couch.
"same" Trina nodded "so whats been up with you?"
"aside from trying to work and raise a three year old and maintain my marriage, hell" I said laughing "it's a job I tell ya"
"maintain your marriage?" Kerry asked as she reached over and grabbed a few chips from Alise's bag, much to her displease.
"bitch" Alise said as she snatched the bag away
"You'll get over it" Kerry said as she popped a few in her mouth "something going on with you and Paul?"
"Just the usual marriage stuff, ya know?" I said with a shrug as I walked over and grabbed some of the chips.
"Like what the hell!" Alise said as she threw the bag at me and walked into the kitchen to grab another bag
"I bought them" I said with an evil grin as I walked over and sat next to Kerry as we ate them
"Bring me a.." Trina started to say before Alise interrupted her
"no!"
"Bitch! bring me an apple!" Kerry and I burst into laughter, no matter where we were or who we were with, whether it be a friendly get together or at a business meeting, those two were bound to argue about something. "and wash it off"
"I'll shove it up my ass before I do anything else for you" Alise said as she threw the wet apple at Trina
"You're lucky it didn't hit me"
"If it did, you wouldn't do anything, you couldn't catch in middle school, high school or college and you can barely catch now" Alise said poking fun at their early softball days when Trina would always get hit with the ball, run from the ball or how it would barely miss her face by an inch. "All you know how to do is miss"
I laughed. "You guys are too much"
"She's too much" Alise said as she tossed the chip bag on the couch before taking a sip of the kool-aid jammer as she sat back down next to Trina
"Those are Paul's" I said
"And?" Alise said taking another sip
I shook my head as I smiled at her
"So Stephanie" Kerry said shifting in her seat. "You never answered my question"
"Technically I did" I said as I leaned back on the couch
"I don't want a technical answer"
"Stephanie" Trina said leaning forward "You might as well tell Sherlock Holmes over there because she's not going to stop until she gets an answer"
"That's right" Kerry said agreeing
"Well" I said letting out a sigh "we've been having some problems"
"Like?"
"for starters..." I said before a knock at the door interrupted me, which I was more than happy to answer. Thank God. I thought to myself as I ran to the front door and opened it. "you're here!" I said with a wide smile as I hugged my parents.
"Yes, we're here" Linda said as she hugged Stephanie back
"you knew we were coming" Vince said placing the bags down "You must have been waiting for us?"
"I thought you were coming later, I didn't know that while you were on the phone with me that you were actually on your way." I said smiling
"Well, I like surprising my babygirl" Vince said as he hugged Stephanie "we're going to be here for the weekend, if thats fine with you"
"you know it is" I said, stilling smiling. "Oh" I said turning "The girls are here" I said motion towards the living room as we headed that way
"Hey girls" Linda said as she entered the room
"hey" they all responded in unison as each one got up to hug my parents.
"How have you been?" My mom asked
"busy, busy, busy" Kerry answered for the group
"I know the feeling" My dad said as patted Alise on the back before wrapping his arm around her shoulder "have you been good?"
"I'm always good" she said smiling
"she started a fight with me earlier" Trina chimed in
"she called me a bitch"
"She wouldn't let me and Stephanie have any of her cheetos" Kerry added
"you took them anyway! is this jump on Alise day?"
"You girls leave my Ali-bug alone"
"thank you Vinnie" Alise said as she hugged him
"but if we call her Ali-bug she'll punch us" Tina said rolling her eyes playfully
"because you're not special" Alise said with a smile as she wrapped her arms around Vince's waist.
"We'll let you girls finish talking while we get settle in" Linda said
"Yeah," Vince said letting go of Alise "Let me get these bags upstairs before she pitches a fit" Vince said as he turned and walked back towards the front door.
"Are you girls staying for dinner?" Linda asked
"No. I have to go home and cook myself" Kerry said
"Me too" Trina added
"I'm not! i'm staying!" Alise said as we laughed. "And Trina, you can't cook"
"Better than you"
"true" Alise said shrugging
"Well, If I don't see you girls anymore today, it was nice seeing you all again, we should go out for lunch before Vince and I leave Monday"
"That sounds great" Kerry said with a smile as Linda waved and walked off
"so" Kerry said as she spun around on her heel and took a seat back on the couch "back to our discussion"
"You don't forget anything, do you?" I asked as I leaned back on the couch
"Nope" Kerry said smiling
"has she ever?" Trina asked who had her feet kicked up and placed on Alise's lap
"Who gave her permission to place her funky tail feet on my legs?" Alise asked as she pointed to them
Trina laughed, "I did, now shut up" she said as she crossed them at the ankles
"Well, like I said earlier, we're having problems like any other married couple but we've been working things out. We go to counseling and..."
"Counseling?" Kerry repeated
"Yeah, it's no big deal" I said brushing it off
"when another person has to get involved to help you solve your problems, a doctor nonetheless, then that's a pretty big deal" Trina added. "I thought you guys were fine, everything seemed perfect"
"well everything isn't always as it seems, is it Stephanie?" Alise said as she looked me dead in the eyes.
"What's going on here?" Kerry asked
"Tell them Steph, go ahead and let them know"
"Tell us what? let us know what?" Trina asked as she looked confused
"It's nothing, it's just things were pretty bad for a while but now they're better and that's all that matters" I said giving Alise a death stare
"Don't be mad at me for trying to help"
"I'm not mad" I shot back "But I wish for once just once you'd just ask my permission or let me know before you blurt out my business, you're fucking so selfish"
"How is trying to be a good friend and helping you selfish? you're so fucking stupid for not seeing the dumbass you married" Alise shot back
"Get out of my house!" I roared as I stood up
"woah, woah, woah" Trina said standing up "lets cool down for a minute here"
"I never planned on leaving anyway" Alise said as she picked at her finger nails
"what's going on between the two of you here?" Trina said "does she know something we don't?" Trina asked "does she, Stephanie?"
"Do I, Stephanie?" Alise pressured as she stared at me
"Look, it was in the past, things are different and I have moved on and I wish you all would just accept that and get off my back okay. If I wanted your opinion I would have came to you and not a doctor."
"You went to Alise" Trina shot back "I thought we were all friends here"
"that has nothing to do with it" I said calmly
"She didn't have to tell me, as a matter of fact she didn't, I saw it with my own eyes and I knew for years before she finally confessed" Alise said looking at her nails
"What the hell?" Trina said looking around "whats going on here or am I never going to find out?"
I sat down and rubbed my temples. "Can we please just drop this!? please!?"
Trina sat down and folded her arms.
This whole time Kerry was quiet, she said nothing as she just watched and observed the body language of everyone, more so Stephanie and Alise. She figured it out without having to be told.
Kerry glared at me for a while before finally speaking "is he hitting you, Stephanie?" she said softly
"Was" I said barely above a whisper as I sniffled "but everything is fine now, it was a long time ago, before Aiden was born, I swear."
Trina "ohhhhh helllllll no! I'm gonna whoop this motherfuckers ass!" Trina said standing up "Kerry, go get my damn gun out the car"
"This explains why Alise hated him so much" Kerry said softly
"It's not that I wanted to keep it a secret, but it was her story to tell. She never would so I forced it out of her" Alise said
"Stephanie why didn't you tell us!?"
"Because I was afraid you'd react like this! or that you'd judge me for not leaving"
"but you told Alise!" Trina said pointing to her
"because I knew that no matter how pissed she got, she would never make a scene about it. Insulting Paul day in and out was her way of coping with it."
"So you thought we couldn't do the same?" Trina questioned
"It's not that, but once you're fired up Trina, there's no stopping you and you know that. Then I felt like Kerry would always try to play therapist with me, and at the time that all this was happening, I just couldn't take it. I never planned on telling Alise either, but like she said, she already knew"
"I understand all of that" Trina said softly "but you still should have told us, we're you're girls Stephanie"
"I know" I said as a tear fell "I know. And I never meant to make you feel otherwise, I just needed time to think. And once things started to clear up, I figured there was no need in rehashing old wounds"
"Stephanie swears he's changed" Alise said rolling her eyes
"He has Alise!" I cried
"Yeah" she said folding her arms "but I don't believe her"
"Nor did I ask you too" I said with an attitude
"Alise, just because Tim didn't change doesn't mean Paul won't or hasn't already. I mean, after finding out all of this, no I'm not his biggest fan but I'll be supportive towards anyone who tries to better themselves. " Kerry said
"Well you go ahead and be his personal cheerleader then" Alise spat "I'm fine watching his ass from the sidelines, better yet the stands"
Just then I heard noise coming from down the hallway. "Mommy!" Aiden said as he ran into my arms
"Hey baby" I said as I gave him a kiss
"Daddy bought me a toy!"
"not another one" I said trying to take my attention off of everything that just happened
"yes!" he said with a smile as he held up his toy truck "you like it?"
"I love it" I said wiping away another tear that fell
"Mommy, whys you crying?"
"hey" Paul said as he entered the room. His smile faded as he watched everyone's body language unfold at his presence "did I do something wrong?" Paul asked
"They know Paul...they know everything" I said softly
He had the saddest look in his eyes, one that I couldn't bear. I knew he felt hurt and betrayed and felt like I probably singled him out. But I didn't, I just needed to let the ones closest to me know what I had been going through and that it wasn't all rosy.
"Oh" he said softly
"Yeah" Trina said with attitude
Paul said nothing as he looked at her and then at me and turned to walk away
"Keep walking, and don't come back" Trina said as Paul paused and turned around, "What? are you gonna hit me too?" She asked. He was about to respond until I spoke up.
"Trina" I said turning to her "what is your problem? That's my husband"
"You don't need him Stephanie, once a cheater and a hitter, always one" She said looking at him
"That's what I'm saying" Alise said in agreement
"Guys, this is her life and her marriage. If she feels he's changed, then it's her right to stay with him, you have no control over that whatsoever. If you don't agree, then you just don't agree, and that's fine. But don't try and make decisions for her" Kerry said to the two girls before turning to me "Stephanie" she said as she looked at me
"Yes"
"This is your life and your choice, if you feel he's still the one for you then fine, that's your decision. Don't let other's opinions from the outside change what you already know from inside. I'm here for you and I'll support you both"
"Thank you Kerry" I said hugging her as the tears started to flow "thank you so much, I needed to hear that"
"Don't try and make it seem like we're the fucking bad guys" Trina said with attitude
"I'm not," Kerry said, still holding me "but as a friend you have to be supportive of the decisions they make, good or bad. If bad, you just come through for them. If he was still doing it I'd be on your side, but he's not and therefore I'm with her." Kerry said looking at Paul and then back at them
"Whatever" Alise said rolling her eyes
"What the hell is going on here?" Vince roared
Everyone turned around to see Vince and Linda staring at them. I glanced behind them and saw that Paul's parents were here too, I forgot they were coming for the weekend as well.
"How much do you know?" I asked not to anyone in particular, but just out loud.
"We heard everything," Linda answered "I returned downstairs to get something when I saw Pat and Paul had arrived, I let them in and told them you were talking, we were all going to go outside when we heard you mention something about counseling, at that point Vince came downstairs too...from that point on...we...well...we just know" Linda said as she bowed her head.
"Son, is this true?" Paul Sr. asked in disbelief, "You've been...hitting your wife?"
Paul could say nothing as he stared at me, hurt and pain collided in his eyes, and I could do and say nothing as well. What could be said in this moment? The secret was out now and everyone knew.
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