A/N: Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I had major writers' block, and, it's summer, so of course I would have plans. This story has over 15,000 views! OMG! You guys are truely amazing - that's faster than Youtube! Lol. Well, thank-y thanks, and enjoy the show! I made it especially long.
Chapter 29:
Tris' POV:
I sit alone in my apartment, waiting for Tobias to come home from work. He says he wanted to talk to me, being one of the reasons why I'm not doing anything – that and the fact that I have nothing to do.
I must've fallen asleep at some point, because I wake up to the door opening, and Tobias walking through the door. I feel a jolt of excitement, and jump up, run to him, and throw my hands around his neck.
He laughs a little, wrapping his arms around my waist. I don't let go for a while, and I start to think. Why did I just do that?
When I do let go, I sit back on the bed, with a small smile still plastered on my face.
"Uh, Tris," Tobias says, sitting on the bed. His expression makes the smile drop from my face. "I-"
"You're breaking up with me, aren't you," I cut him off.
"No-"
"Then what, Tobias?" I almost scream.
"Tris, let me finish. I'm concerned, because you seem off. You seem to get angrier too easily, I'm just trying to make sure you're okay."
I don't answer right away. I've been noticing that, but I don't stop it. I think of all the reasons why I get angry: What Logan said about me at the beginning of initiation, and Zoey, Avery, Chloe, and Hannah, and how Zeke always has something to say about how we're always late to meals now. I think about how they all have something to do with Tobias, and the fact that I can't lose him…
"Tris, Tris," Tobias says, and I notice he's been calling my name for a while now.
"I don't want to lose you Tobias," I say, sobbing into his shirt.
This shouldn't faze me; I shouldn't be so affected by other people. The war three years ago broke me, beyond repair. I can't do anything without my subconscious being cagey of everyone, not being able to let go of the fact that Tobias could have anyone he desires, but he chose me.
"Tris, how could you lose me? What's wrong? Talk to me," he says it with a sense of urgency, and I realize I haven't given him a clear picture as to why I'm crying.
I don't pull back from his shirt, but I stop crying enough to talk. I don't know where to start.
"Why did you choose me, Tobias?"
"What do you mean?" he says in a voice full of emotion, letting go of me a little.
"You could have any girl, but you chose me. I don't understand, and I never did. Especially after the war, I've been afraid that I won't be enough for you, that you would leave me-" he cuts me off.
"Tris, look at me," he says strictly. I look at him. "I choose you, because I want you. I've always wanted you. I would never leave you, I don't plan on it. I will always be there for you, like I am now. Okay?"
I nod, not being able to say anything in reply. Despite what he said, I still feel something inside of me – like I can't let my guard down. I believe him, but I still want to be able to protect myself, because people can change their minds, especially about someone like me…
I still fear him leaving me, although a part of me is telling me not to.
"I need to do something," I say, breaking away from our embrace.
I get up, and walk to the door, but Tobias' voice stops me.
"Wait, let me go with you."
Being that he let me into his fear landscape, I decide to allow him to come with me, and also, I was about to ask him to.
We walk through the Pit, and he asks me where we're going.
"I-I wanted… to see my fear landscape – I wanted to see if it's changed," I stutter.
He doesn't reply, just takes on an expression I can't decipher and keeps walking. Which makes me remember – he sometimes does this on his free time.
We reach the fear landscape room, and Tobias goes to the computer while I get the needles. I bring them out just as Tobias finishes whatever he's doing on the computer.
"Right here," he says, tilting his head a bit, and tapping on a spot just above his collarbone with the tip of his finger. I stick the needle in, and push down on the plunger.
After, I hand him the other syringe, and he gives me a pointed look.
"I trust you." He smiles, and I tilt my head to give him access to my neck. Before he inserts the needle, though, he gives me a light kiss on my neck.
As the first scene is generating, my heart rate picks up, and I begin to pant. I blink, and when I open my eyes, I see we are in a grassy field. It looks peaceful, but I know that won't last long.
I hear a screech, and look up, only to be greeted by none other than the creatures that still haunt my dreams. As the crows draw near, I scream, and drop to the ground, searching for the gun that I know will be there.
Tobias doesn't ask any questions, he just drops to the ground, followed by my fellow crows.
I imagine felling the cool metal in my hands, in shooting down the crows with Tobias. Then I feel it. Tobias picks up a gun, too. Together, we shoot down the crows, and in knowing they'll go away soon, my heart rate gradually decreases, and the crows disappear. So does the gun.
PAGE BREAK
All too fast, the scene changes from the field, to the glass box. Great, Tobias and I are trapped in a glass box.
