Chapter 29
Brotherhoods
PART 7 of 7
A/N~ First I want to wish each of you Happy Holidays! Sorry it has taken me so long to get this posted. With a death in the family, the holiday season upon us and everyday life. It took me forever to get it done.
But I am back on track now. We have around another 10-15 more chapters to go to make this story complete. Depending on how lengthy I make each one. I will try to post multiple chapters as well. Most of you like it.
Thank you for the notes of concern, the wonderful reviews and letting me know you miss the story. I will get them responded to soon.
Muuaahh…. To Laura, Vera, Cindy and Alice. You ladies always brighten my day and keep me focused on writing. You know how fabulous I think you are. I love you girls!
The past, present and future touched each other in so many ways. It all manipulated it into the universe it was around me today. One point in time marked another later affected by it. All the mistakes I've made in the past coming back around to haunt me. All the love I have for my children seeps to rip my heart apart. All things I had planned for my family seemed pointless now.
In the quest for what the real moment meant and expectations from life. Some expect to grasp hold of the singular instant that feels like a journey between the past, present and the future. Between the land of what they know and a land they don't know of the future yet to come. In their pursuit, they hope to encounter that genuine moment. Even if it was brief not the most joyous of occasions. Mine was today, my frail son of the fleeting time left a scar in my memory. A scar on my heart that could never be totally healed or forgotten.
Although, I was no longer caught in a whirlwind in the past as of now. Of my; mistakes, dreams, fears, hopes, regrets, wants and guilt. I was no longer held as a prisoner to my past nor a slave to my future.
For the first time, ever, I threw out the rule book of life. Took the advice of someone near and dear to me. Don't try to live by a date planner or be so pretentious. Dance under the stars as often as you can while they stare at you like you lost your mind. The reality of it; I had missed so much life I could have lived so well, due to it. If something happened to Abel I couldn't see past this marked second.
A glorious future seemed like a ridiculous thing to me. Every time I try to catch it, get a grasp on the direction I want it to go in and hold it in my hand. It disappeared every time a little quicker every day. With no one to blame but myself. You must allow your past to die for your future to live on.
From the past I watched Abel be born, fight for his life and against all odds survive it. Now, in the present, I was doing the same thing. In the future, I hoped for better times to come for me and my children. No matter what I had to do to save them from the horrible fate they were destined to suffer.
My son had been put through so many horrible situations and scary events. He was facing another one ahead of him. There was nothing a mother wouldn't do to save her child. Not even give up their own life to allow their children to survive onward. In the big picture scheme your life was worthless without them; you were never capable of putting back the pieces of anything without them.
It made me believe it was part of the reason Gemma became like the woman she was. Losing her child left her bitter with life and John. The uncertainty of which direction to go in. Questioning love at every twist and turn. Why you were with them and how you could see your child's face in their eyes every time you looked at them. Which, only made you despise the man you once loved so much and who was once the center of your universe. This was as close as I ever came to understand Gemma and her decisions she made.
"Babe, are you okay?"
Jax held our son in his lap. Kyle was beside him with Cody in his in the back of the truck. With a sheet covering a dead body nearby. Death was surrounding us, calling out names of the list it was here to take.
"I'm fine." It was the only thing I could manage to say to Jax. I tried to not look at anything or anyone except Abel and Cody. Fuck death, it would have to take me first before I turned loose of those two little boys. Let it take them away from us. I watched the sky for them, but the crows were nowhere to be found. It brought relief and scared the hell out of me too when they would make their next appearance. Who they were here to take home with them.
There were so many things happening quickly around me. Just like everything else had in my life. We had suffered death of ones we loved because of all of this. Some were just wounded from it. While our little ones kept fighting to take in another breath to survive for just one more minute on this earth. But they had so many people who loved them and wouldn't let go of them easily. I would never survive losing one of my children.
Even more than getting the boys well. They still had to be protected until we got them out of this country. There was no place you could truly hide in their territory. When you done something as bad as blew up the drug lord's home and business. We still had to make the attempt to get out alive from Mexico tomorrow.
Nero was on the phone with Marcus, making deals. It would take a lot of favors and payback to get one more miracle from Marcus. One more hand extended out in kindness to give us help. Only because it was Nero and involved our children. Marcus done it. It was first of many battles and issues we still had to overcome.
There was a missionary willing to take us in for the night for a goodwill donation of under the table cash. Marcus guarantee the money until we could return to pay the debt off. The Lodge would be signed over to him in return.
It worried me Jax agreed to it and wouldn't follow through. It would mean more retaliation to come our way if he failed to do so. But I had a newsflash for him this time, the lodge was in my name and it would get done if he liked it or not. This wouldn't be a club decision where I got overruled and undermined. Maybe my consciousness had gotten to me on a lot of things lately. Somethings I couldn't get off my mind anymore. If we all pulled through this shit, I made myself a promise to build a better life for us and around my children. This was where I was going to start.
When we came up to the place Marcus arraigned for us to stay. It was a half church and half mission compound. It worried me with the surroundings and the kind of people who were here. The guys were all good with it. They feared nothing while I feared everything.
The medical resources were a minimal but better than nothing at all. Mostly outdated technology and old school health care. Even the doctor and nurses on staff were Hispanic and I couldn't communicate with them in their language. I was never more thankful Nero was here than I was right now.
The guys would take shifts on lookout because there were chances of retaliation coming from the Cartel if we were found. While we started taking care of those who were in need.
Derrick was critical with a gunshot wound to the abdomen. I took him while, the doctor, on call here tended to wounds and less critically hurt. This brave young boy was only twenty four years old. He had a high intelligence quotient, tested in early to their Marine unit and still had so much life ahead of him to live. If I had anything to say about it, he still would too.
This kid was a hero. He stepped in front of Jax and Kyle when they had the boys in their arms. To take the bullet himself. Knowing all along what would happen to him when he done it. Because of Derrick, my son was still alive to fight for his life some more. I was doing everything I could to make sure Derrick had that same option.
It was a bleak attempt though. He was barely holding on at this point. His vitals all dropped and his heartrate slowed quickly. There was no way for me to stabilize him fast enough. When he started gasping for breath, I knew I was losing him.
"Someone tell my dad I went down fighting." It completely broke me into a million pieces when Derrick had to take numerous breaths to get all those words out. The importance to him was because he followed in his successful Marine decorated officer father's footsteps. He wanted to make his father proud. Would my boys choose to do the same, follow in Jax's path and be part of the club? Not if I had anything to say about it they would not.
"Listen to my voice Derrick, this is Tara. You are going to go home to see your dad. I'm sure your parents are very proud of the fact you are their son. You are my hero because of your brave act you saved my son's life. I am so proud of you and I am indebted to you for what you did for Abel and Cody. Just stay with me." I was trying to get the bleeding to stop and kept talking to him at the same time. More so, he had to believe he would make it and not stop fighting either.
His bloody hand managed to come up to arm. "Thank you, Ma'am. Tell my mom I love her." The warning alarm went off and his end was approaching near. The sound of the squeal from the machine was like a cannon being shot through my heart. A mother's heart of gratitude. I had to save him like he did my child. It would affect another mother too, his. There was no heartache in this world that could compare to losing your baby. It didn't matter how old they were.
When I looked at Derrick's face, I seen my son lying there before me. Only a mere child who was good and done righteous things. Had a sweetness to him that couldn't be stolen away. It was a safe bet I had done more horrible things in my life than this kid. "Stay with me, Derrick."
No matter how much I kept saying it to him, pleaded, he was slipping away. When he flatlined, I still wasn't giving up. I began cardio pulmonary resuscitation. "Don't you die on me." It wasn't working but I would not surrender or let him go.
They finally came in with the difibulator. When I had the paddles placed in the right position, I shocked him. "Come on, breathe dammit." After I did it a couple more times. Meat grabbed a hold of my arms before I could do it again.
"Tara, he's gone. You've done everything you can for him."
"Fuck." I threw those paddles and they clanked against the steel cart the machine set on. I called the time of death for Derrick. He was gone but it was far from over for me.
All the guys gathered near the cold hard table he laid on. Stuck their fists inside the circle they formed around his lifeless body. "Come on, Tara. You're one of us now." Meat asked me to join them. I had no idea what I was doing or even why. But to honor him, I done what they did. They dropped their heads and had a moment of silence just for Derrick.
"May you have a safe passage home to the promise land. If there is a heaven they will welcome a man like you there, Derrick. I will make sure I tell your mother and father personally what a great brave son they raised and how much you love them. Thank you for what you did for the boys." When I brought my head up and opened my eyes. They were all staring at me. As low as I said it, I thought no one heard me.
"Derrick will like that, Tara. It's mean a lot." Boomer gave me a little nod after he spoke and went out the door. The others followed out after him except Kyle.
Kyle was feeling his own pain over Derrick's death. Probably blaming himself as much as I was if not even more. "It's not your fault, Kyle." I took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. When I let go, he didn't. His eyes were glazed over and I wanted to reach out to him. To comfort him. To let him know he wasn't the only one who was feeling it. To show him I was here for him. But I couldn't as much as I wanted to.
"I need to see how the boys are."
Before Kyle let go of my hand. He gave me a kiss on the cheek. He didn't seem to care if anyone walked in and seen it or not. "You were great with Derrick. Thank you, Tara." I only nodded to him. If I had opened my mouth, I wasn't exactly sure what would come out of it.
From the doorway, I looked back at them. Derrick, who gave up his life for my son. Kyle, who would have given up his life for me. Both done it unselfishly and without getting anything from me in return. My heroes in different ways.
But my focus, care and love had to go to Abel and Cody. The doctor had already listed out their vitals with no diagnoses. Which, I couldn't read in Spanish and Nero translated it for me. None us knew for certain what was causing the problem with them. Why they were ill and becoming sicker by the minute.
The first thing I had to do was stabilize Abel's heart. With his existing condition, I would lose him if I didn't and quickly. I wasn't a heart specialist or trained for it. I could only make educated guesses at this point. I knew enough with being his mother, what they had told me in the past.
It was a gamble of the treatment I chose for my son. No medication was given to him for over a week. If I was correct, a direct shot into his iv should begin to make his heart erythema begin to beat normally again within hours. If I was wrong, I didn't want to think what would happen if I were.
As I drew it from the bottle to the needle, my hands shook like crazy. There was no else to make this call. No one else to blame for the actions I was about to take. No one would know my sorrows if I was wrong about it.
The needle was there. All I had to do was plunge it into the line. I kept pausing to catch my breath, to look at my son's face and regain my composure as a medical professional would. Only this time, I wasn't a professional. I was a broken mother brought to her knees with the love of her child.
"Tara."
Kyle said my name and I looked up. He gave me smile and a slight nod. He believed in me and my judgement. We took in deep breaths together while never breaking eye contact with the other. Until I finally pushed the plunger on the needle. I closed my eyes and said a prayer. That's what life for all of us was hanging on today; a wing of a crow and a prayer.
When it was done, relief washed over me. I somehow knew, I had done the right thing. I made the right decision. For once, no doubts of my actions nor the direction of the path I went down.
With a kiss to Abel's forehead. "Mommy failed you baby and wasn't there when you needed me. It will never happen again."
"You're not the one who failed Abel or our family." Jax was sitting in the chair on the other side of Abel's bed. Jax needed me too from the deep sorrow shown in his eyes.
Daddy hadn't let go of his son's hand since we'd been here. Doing what a real father should; loving your child unconditionally, being there for them and never giving up on them. Jax was experiencing his own guilt for his actions in all of this. As much as I wanted to reach out and comfort him, I couldn't. There wasn't time for me to waste on anything. I had to care for these two little boys.
For hours after I drew their blood while I went down a possible list of what I thought it could be. Crossing off what I was certain it wasn't. Putting a question mark by those illnesses it could be. A star went beside those that more than likely were the cause.
The wait for the blood test to come back was killing me. At Saint Thomas, I would have it back in no longer than an hour or so. Here, four hours had passed by and I had heard nothing yet. It was a reasonable guess the health care system in place lacked luster and many died in the process.
But when, the results finally came back. It was no help at all. The things their blood was tested for showed no signs of any informality. Whatever they had, was shutting down their little bodies quickly from the inside out. I missed it, I was far off and I was completely out of ideas.
They were discussing the price tag that would be put on the heads of the ones who were brave enough to attack the cartel on their home soil. As much as I wanted to know all the details myself, I had other important things to worry about now. Saving Abel and Cody, they were my top priority.
After I glanced at the simple wall clock, I had wasted time without a conclusion or solution. The elapsed time, exhaustion, fear and anxiety, got the better of me. The fit I threw by clearing off the counters, curse words coming out of my mouth at random and throwing shit around. It was worse than any temper tantrum that my son ever had.
"I don't even know what I am supposed to treat them for. I'm at a loss here. I could end up hurting them more than helping them. Or do something even worse…"
"Only you can save them. We can't do it. So, whatever you need to do to get yourself there and keep it together, you do it. I know you can. I believe in you Tara more than I even do myself most of the time. I've witnessed you do some amazing things. It's how I've always seen you as an amazing woman. I…"
The room became completely silent when everyone fell at a hush as they watched us. But it wasn't going to be for long. Kyle caught himself of how close we were standing to each other and the way he touched me. After he casually glanced around at all the faces staring at us intensely, his hands dropped quickly away from me and took a couple of step back to put space between us. Went to open his mouth to say something a couple of times but didn't. His hand went through his hair and he was on his way out the door. "I need some air."
Everyone was either directing their attention to me or Jax now. I quickly scanned his face. He didn't seem angry; more unsure and confused about what transpired between me and Kyle. If Jax only understood how many times we were just there for each other. It wasn't a sexual thing, at least not this time. Kyle was my best friend who I knew I could rely on. There were no explanations I could give to explain nor to defend what just happened or many other times. So, I didn't even try to. Abel and Cody needed me. They were what I would keep my focus on.
"I think I need some air too." With a long lingering kiss to my cheek. Jax went out the door as well.
At first I worried a bit. Jax and Kyle being together outside. But noticed some of the club and other Marines followed behind them. They expected trouble to come between them as much as I did. Even Gemma motioned her head and Nero went with her.
It's when I seen it. Nero had a large gash on his arm and hadn't put his shirt back on again. They had patched him up and I never caught on before. The spider web tattoo on his shoulder. It blew our theories out of the water. I only seen him as good and not evil.
"Is something wrong, Tara?"
Nero's voice made me pull my gawking eyes off him. "No." He gave me a strange look before left with Gemma.
My feelings were they would handle anything that came between Jax and Kyle. I was needed more here, where I could semi try to be productive. The chatter continued going on among them, I drowned it all out. Except for one conversation caught my attention.
"You're not even a real Marine pussy."
"Just because I flex my brain instead of my brawn. Doesn't make me any less of a Marine than you are. You guys aren't even smart enough to come in out of the rain unless I tell you to do so. Or not to drink the water because of contamination. So, you're welcome you muscled up dumb ass."
"The harsh facts of the territory were, they had a lot of run off from filth and it ruined the water supply in many areas. Even the crops of fruits and vegetables had been infected with the plague of a virus because of it."
"Meat, you are a genius." I gave him a little peck on the cheek.
"You're just now figuring that out." He was all smiles at me. I thought I even seen a slight blush from him. It wasn't something I thought I would ever see.
"Hey, I don't know what your real name is and I don't want to call you tech nerd."
"Eric."
"Will you help me, Eric?"
The answer was laid out for the me the entire time. As they usually were when you really look hard enough. With Eric's help and expertise in contamination. I thought I was on to something.
"There are a couple thousand viruses with names and another twenty percent on top of that which still have not been defined. The immune system must eliminate or contain them. The viruses use cell structure to multiply farther weakening the immune function as it becomes overwhelmed and then damages the body. Once they have filtrated the body, they allow a longer list of other diseases to occur."
It became more disheartening with each thing I read. My area of expertise didn't apply to any of this. If I continued to only trace down the possibilities, I would lose the boys. With each second of time that ticked away, so did another precious second of life for them.
The thought of having a complete melt down and break down appealed to me. But I would not do that. I would not stop until I heard the word mommy come out of my sweet son's mouth again.
"Some viruses attack cells of the immune system. They are attacking the very system required to kill them." Even if it were a true virus causing it. It will still be almost impossible to determine which one and how to cure it.
Eric spent an hour giving me information about it and looking up some cases in Mexico. Since, it was the only thing I had. I went with it. I drew blood from Cody and Abel. Now, it was just to wait it out and see if I was on the right track or not. Eric kept me company as we went to drop off the samples to be tested.
"You're pretty good at this, Tara. Kyle is right you are a great doctor."
"We will find out as soon as the test results come back if we are going on the right direction or not. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you, Eric. I don't care what anyone says, you are one hell of a Marine."
"Thank you. I don't hear that very much with what I do."
"If we are right, you're the reason the boys will be saved. You are my favorite Marine, too." This was the first reason I had to smile lately and it showed. "But, don't tell the others, okay."
"Oh, I am telling them all I am your favorite."
We heard a commotion from outside when we passed by the doors. I already knew the voices who yelling so loudly. I left out a long sigh before deciding I needed to see what the hell it was about.
"Who is the next in line to take over?" Jax was leading the circle of angry men standing around.
"Hector Juan Sandoval. His brother is Carlos. I'm guessing Hector knows by now the damage we have done to his family and their business." Thomas seemed to be in control of the Marine side or at the very least handling this.
"This is going to end badly. They will roll up in Charming and blow it off the map. Hector will want blood for what we've done." The words Kyle spoke weren't just words to me. They became etched in my mind because I knew them all too well to be the truth.
"That's my problem to deal with Kyle because you will be gone from Charming."
"It will become Tara and the kids' problem. They will get hurt and suffer from it."
Kyle was getting more aggressive as time went on; his anger wasn't in check any longer, become meaner, to the point of brutal and walked on the dark side when needed. He said he had that side was under control but it was clear he really didn't. Even I could see it coming through at times now. This ordeal was sending him down the path of self destruction. I understood he had to do bad things for the boys but once you've crossed the line. Could you ever truly find your way back from it once you went there?
Jax wasn't going to listen to anymore. He done what he normally did when he didn't want to hear something. Walked away, tuned it out and justified it his way in his mind. But Kyle didn't care what he wanted. This was a switch him starting with Jax instead of the other way around. For Kyle to not just back down and back away from a fight.
"Don't fucking ignore what I am saying to you, Jax. You need to think about them first and what will happen to them because of all of this. For all the stupid and dangerous shit, you do to get them hurt." Kyle shoved him and we all know what happens when someone pushes Jax.
"Don't ever touch me again. Next time, I'll kill you where you stand and I don't give a shit where it is or who is around. You need to stop worrying about my family and get one of your own." Jax was facing off with Kyle. This was the SAMCRO part of him escaping from the darkness. He wanted Kyle to do something, Jax wanted him to give a reason or excuse to do it. All so he could justify any actions he took. I'd seen it too many times. You push the devil, he will send you to hell.
"Not the time or place for it. You need to keep your head, brother. That fight will come though it is the inevitable." Thomas was sensible and wouldn't let it escalate. He was sensible on this anyway most things he wasn't. In between them he stood with no fear shown to Jax. A smile on Thomas' lips when uttered the inevitable was coming to Kyle.
"Just so you understand Jax, if you take Kyle on. You got the rest of us to fight. You should consider the help you are going to need when Hector comes to find you in Charming and starts killing people you love. Because it will happen eventually. Sandoval's brother along with the cartel will come to find you and kill any shit that gets in his way of it. Not any of us, they have no idea we even exist. This will all land on you, your family and the club." The rest of the Marines had gathered around now. They were there to backup Thomas' brotherhood meaning and for their other brother, Kyle.
"Just so you understand. Anybody who threatens Jackie or another member. Gets their goddamn head cut off."
"Yeah they do. At the very least a beat down." Happy weighed in on Chibs comment. They always protected their own too. Nothing was held in higher regard than the club or its members in their eyes.
"I'm gonna be real honest with you. I could really use a good ass kicking, I haven't had one in while. Anytime you think you're big enough to give me one, bring it on. Especially you Jax, look forward to it. Because I am not Kyle. I will fuck you up and fast without any remorse. But as far as the other goes; we serve as brothers and we die as brothers. We're bad boys until the end. Whatever that ending needs to be. Now, you fuckers are harshen my mellow." There was no telling which side Thomas actually landed on; good, evil or just fucking insanely crazy. He carried on as though he didn't have a problem in the world. He lit up a smoke and sung them a song as he left. "Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys…"
Both Meat and Thomas blew Jax a kiss over their shoulder as they went on. "They will never stay home and always alone even with someone they love…"
When I tried to share the news with Jax about what I discovered with Abel. Jax was busy on club business as normal. I just shook my head and didn't bother telling him anything farther on it.
"I knew you could do it."
"Kyle…about earlier."
"I screwed up. I wasn't even thinking. Most of the time when I'm around you, girl. I… It doesn't matter."
"It is okay. This is a stressful time for all of us."
"No, it's not alright. I know where Jax is coming from. I've felt the way he does. I just never thought I would be the one to do it with someone else's wife. I'm acting just like the one I hate the most for what he did to me. I am no better than he is." That was the end our little conversation about it because he left before I could even respond.
Thomas was smoking, stood back while he listened to our conversation and took it all in. He tapped the pack of cigarettes until one stuck out and then offered it to me.
"No thanks."
"Kyle is just struggling."
"Yeah. Aren't we all. Are you married, Thomas?"
"I tried it once but I didn't care for it much. Marriage is buying a house for someone you will eventually hate. I'm a free soul. I like to stay on the move with no ties that bind me down somewhere. Now, I get to ask a question. How long have you been in love with Kyle?"
"I'm not in love in with Kyle."
"Are you sure, Tara? I think everyone sees it but you. Including your old man. It's why Jax hates him so much. By eliminating Kyle from your life, Jax eliminates all his problems or so he thinks. It's not really how it works though."
"I am not in love with Kyle nor will I ever be. I don't think of him that way."
"I can verify she doesn't feel anything for me other than a friendship."
Before you ran your mouth, you should always know who was around listening. Kyle had been standing behind me for I don't know how long. But long enough though. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. You've done so much for me and my children. I…"
"It's okay. I sort of already figured it out on my own, Tara."
"You two are the most fucked up lovers I've ever met. She won't admit she loves you. You won't do anything about it, Kyle, because you love her and are trying to protect her. So, how will it end here kids? You're just gonna walk away from Tara. I don't think you can. I know you too well, Kyle. When you get upset with even me, brother, about being around a woman. There are some real feelings there and more than just jealousy. How about you, Tara? Are you gonna keep pretending you don't have feelings for Kyle? Honey, I can see it when you look at him, even when Jax is around. I am not just the sexy super stud who is the life of the party. I pay attention too." Thomas took one more long drag from his smoke before he flicked it to the ground and left. He was great in a lot of ways but very crass in some.
"Kyle…wait." He was leaving too. I felt like I needed to say something or explain myself to him.
"I should have never said what I did to you. I've lost so many things I love. I just wanted to tell you, before I lost you too. I had a weak moment. I do it a lot when you're around me, girl. I'm not upset or mad, you don't feel the same way about me. Really, it's okay. I would rather have had one time of you in my arms, one kiss to your lips, one touch of your hand. Than an eternity of never having those feelings at all that I do when I am with you."
"Maybe, I am a little scared to tell you how…"
"Tara, don't. I don't want to know. If you tell me you care too, we will have more problems than we do right now right now, girl. I'll still be there for you and the kids whenever you need me as much as I can. Nothing changes between us."
"A little too late for that. Don't you think?"
"Maybe it is too late. I have to leave Charming and you behind. It's not that I want to do, but there are only two options left for me. I leave or I kill Jax." The thought of Kyle hurting him must have shown on my face obviously. No different than if Jax were to hurt him. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You will end up hating me for killing him. He is the father of your sons and you love him. So, I gotta leave. I'll never forget you, girl." Kyle gave me a sweet tender kiss on the forehead before he walked away from me once again. Like he walked away from me so many times now. It didn't seem to bother him who was around watching us either.
"If I weren't married and things…Jax is the father of my children. I just can't turn my back on him."
"But, you are married, Tara and it's to Jax. Chaos is an angel who fell in love with a demon. That demon, will never let you go. Jax will end up taking you straight to hell with him and everyone who crosses in his path."
There wasn't much more to be said between us that hadn't been already. I knew it was best for Kyle to go away and find his happiness. Part of me was a selfish bitch and I didn't want him to leave. With him gone, I was bound to lose a part of myself I found when I was only with him. The part of me that never escaped out before I met him. He would take that part of me with him too.
"Are you okay, doll?"
"Yeah, Tig I'm fine."
We talked about nothing at all to kill time. It was dragging by as I set and waited to find out the blood results for the boys. This was the deciding factor for them. Which way it would go from here.
Nicole came outside to get some air. She set with both the boys at their bedside while I ran around doing stuff. I watched Nicole hold on to Abel as much as Cody. While I fought just as hard to save Cody as hard as my own son. I never had another female I felt as close to. Nicole was as close to having a sister as I would ever get. Now, I would lose her too and Abel would lose Cody when Kyle left. Left me far behind.
Tig was our rock right now. We sat in silence on the bench, on each side of him. Our heads leaned on his shoulders, his arms wrapped around ours. He didn't push us to talk, only consoled us. Every once in a while. I felt a kiss from him on the top of my head. He kissed Nicole on her forehead. I had never felt as close to him, as I did right now. Before I started to cry. I kissed him on the top of his head in return and said thank you for being there for me.
"Anytime, doll. You are a good woman, Tara and I think of you as my friend. I don't have many in this life." Everyone had heartbreak, despair and emotions running wild. I wasn't certain which life Tig spoke of, but I understood so well what he meant.
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"Be well my child. Go with God and your son will be fine. But there will be consequences to suffer because of it."
"What did you say?"
The nun who passed me in the hallway on the way back to the boys was familiar. Not only did she say the same thing Opie had to me; consequences to be suffered from saving Abel. But she looked exactly like the old woman I set with on the bench and watched the movie on the big grey screen.
However, she didn't move like an old woman when I tried to catch up with her. The last time I caught a glimpse of her, she ducted into a small chapel.
She disappeared into thin air before my eyes. I was standing alone in the dim lite chapel. The book laying on pew began to move. The pages flipped on their own. As though a wind gust had lifted them up to do it but the air was perfectly still. I looked around for someone, anyone, but no one could be found.
With a deep breath, I took it in, I let it out and approached the pew slowly. Each step I made with caution. Unsure of what this held or meant. But couldn't stop myself from doing it because I had to know.
"The archangels and brothers, Michael and Lucifer. Which Lucifer, went on to be the Devil after he was defeated and defected from heaven by Michael. The brothers, their powers each matched the others. Only surpassed by God. Michael is seen as patient and kind, but not someone who will stand by to watch injustice happen and evil unfold. Lucifer on the other hand; dances in chaos and creates misery all around him. When the Devil wants you to do something, he doesn't lie at all. He tells you the exact, literal truth. And he lets you find your own way to hell. Oh shit, they are Jax and Kyle."
"What is me? Where did she go? I saw her come in here." Kyle startled me from behind. He was looking everywhere for her, whoever it was. But he wouldn't find her just like I wouldn't find the one I was searching for either.
"I was chasing down the old woman I met at the movies. I could have sworn it was her dressed as nun."
Our stories were similar. We only caught a glance of them. For Kyle, it was the voodoo woman from the alley way who gave him the dandelion roots to fight evil with. Was it possible two different women brought us together for a reason? Were they even real? Did we actually ever meet them to begin with? Had we lost our minds at the same time?
Once the book began to move again. I let out a gasp and stepped back. Only to feel Kyle's body so close to mine. His hands held my hips steadily away from him. He turned me loose he went to see what the book had to say.
"Revelation 20:2; He seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the Devil, or Satan, and bound him for a thousand years." After Kyle read it out loud. We said it at the same time.
"Oden."
"Revelation 20:3; And he threw him into the Abyss, shut it, and sealed it over him, so that he could not deceive the nations until the thousand years were complete. After that, he must be released for a brief period of time for evil to reappear.…" Again, Kyle read it to me. "Or until the nine pieces are formed back together. It releases the devil here on earth." Again, we both answered as it softly fell from our lips in unison.
"John."
"I truly believe our paths crossed for many reasons, girl."
"I do too."
Another frozen moment in time. Our eyes relayed what we didn't or couldn't say to the other. When our hands joined, it couldn't be denied. There was something special shared.
"Well. What's going on kids?" Thomas took the back pew. "Jax is looking for you. The results came back. You should go, Tara."
Before I left Thomas of course had one more comment to make. "Aren't you forgetting something?" I shook my head no because I hadn't a clue what he meant. "Go ahead, don't be shy. Give your man a little kiss goodbye. I know you wanna kiss Kyle."
"Smart ass."
"That's sexy smart ass to you, honey." His laughter roared down the hallway.
The more I thought about Jax, Kyle and Thomas being so different and still being blood. For brothers, it was almost like they didn't all come from John's seed. "Oh shit. That's it."
Quickly I ran back into the chapel. Thomas didn't even see it coming. I smacked his face. "That's for being a smart ass." Then I grabbed his face and planted brief kiss on his lips. "You are so smart though and sexy as hell."
"That really turns me on, honey. When women act all sexy psycho for me. Smack my ass next and you can own me baby." They both looked at me in dismay as I rushed out the door. There was no time left to waste.
"I call upon thee, great Morrigan. Theehold goddess of power. From the depths of the life, from the world of man, from the reaches of the magic. I call on thee to descend on my body. Thy servant and priested. And lend your energies to me this day. As I walk in the human world. Ever seeking balance of evil. I can't tell you, Tara. If I do, it can possibly change the outcome of it. Read this again. Don't read the words on the page. Feel my mother's emotions. Then I think you will understand it better. All of her words are not just about John. It is believed whenever a large flock of crows are seen in flight. The looker is being watch over by the goddess, Morrigan. She is the complete circle of life and death."
"She is Morrigan. She's been with Kyle and me the whole time. Now, I get it." Breezed quickly past Jax and the other club members in the hallway and didn't stop when he continued to say my name. Almost at a full run to get to my baby.
With short breaths let out, I announced it as soon as I came into the room. "I know how to cure it and save our children."
This was going to be a needed effort on everyone's part not just mine to pull it off. They would have to participate as well. We would work as a team or hell, I would shoot the fuckers myself for lack of subordination.
Eric had the connections I needed. It didn't take him long to track down Dr. Jesse Stoff from, Cancun, Mexico. The expert who researched, wrote papers and gave lectures on different types of viruses. He was on web cam with me in the middle of the night. There wasn't anything he didn't seem to know about them or how to combat them.
"My name is Dr. Tara Knowles. I need your help." We exchanged greetings and briefly a quick rundown of what the boys faced.
"A virus is various simple submicroscopic parasites of plants, animals, and bacteria that often cause disease and that consist essentially of a core of RNA or DNA surrounded by a protein coat. Unable to replicate without a host cell. They are capable of growth and multiplication only in living cells. Simply put, it sounds like a piece of genetic material looking for a proper home where it can fit in, grow and prosper at your expense. The virus attaches to a cell, often a specific type of cell. Some viruses kill the cells they infect. Others alter the cell function." This man had years of experience. I felt he knew what he was talking about. We agreed which type of virus the boys contracted. It was through congestion of contaminated water. It was used for food crops, or cattle and they ate it or drank it while they were here.
"Dr. Stoff, how do I cure them?"
"A virus does not respond to antibiotics. Drugs used to combat viral infections are called antiviral drugs. They are far and fewer antiviral drugs than antibiotics. Antiviral drugs are more difficult to design and largely more toxic. You must go through the immune system to eliminate it and purify the blood completely. Immune system cells that figure prominently in a viral attack are B-cells and T-helper cells. Those can only be found in healthy humans of the same genetic makeup; a mother, father, brother, sister, grandparent, aunt or uncle and their own child even. But the match must be within ninety nine percent pure. Meaning even a mother of the child sometimes will be only a fifty percent match. It will be the most dominate gene they were born with that was passed on from prior generations."
"So, I must find the purest match of the B-Cells. Which are born in the bone marrow. They make antibodies, a small protein. These antibodies are made in response to an antigen of the bacteria, virus. Something that stimulates an immune response and are an essential part of immune function. Also, the T-Cells in the thymus gland. Their job is to coordinate the attack by providing a multitude of instructions for the antibodies to be released in the body."
"Correct Dr. Knowles. Purify the blood of the child each time with something as simple as dialysis machine first before giving them the blood transfusion of the healthy match."
"Thank you, Dr. Stoff."
"You are very welcome. Please feel free to call me back if you need farther assistance."
It boiled down to genetic makeup of the body. You used it to fight off the virus against the body itself. As strange as it sounded it would work.
There was only one blood machine I could find here and it was so damn old. I only prayed it would even come on. When it did, I wasted no time hooking Cody up to it. Then it would be Abel's turn.
Nicole went first. I drew her blood. Next was Gemma and Jax. But something felt off to me about it. I got queasy and slightly dizzy holding his blood vial.
"This is ridiculous. You act like I am some voodoo woman or something. You are to me, girl. I wanna hide the truth. I wanna shelter you from it. But with the beast inside. There's nowhere we can hide now. This is my kingdom come. It's the end of time. When the lights fade out it will come calling out at the mess we've made. Informally it is only death that can come from it. The next world, the afterlife. Then the demon's blood runs stale." The conversation and the rambling words that made no sense to me. The night on the bridge at Alexandria's Dream with Kyle.
"The web feeds off blood. Tainted demon's blood."
The vial slipped through my fingertips even with the death grip I had on it. Jax's blood felt hot to the touch, it almost scorched my hand. The glass shattered just like my world did. The blood splattered on floor. All the splattered emotions took me over. "The beast inside there is nowhere we can hide. When you feel the heat. Look in their eyes. Its where the demons hide."
The invisible noose was so damn tight around my neck. It was chocking the life out of me. Cutting off my air supply and any chance we had at surviving any of this together. Sweat poured from my body and I felt alone again. More alone that ever had before. Not having no control over the movements in my body and no control over losing my family either. It was all slipping away from me again right before my eyes. I finally became coherent enough to understand what they were saying around me.
"I'm fine. I got this." It was a quick poke. I drew Jax's blood fast again and ran to drop it off to see what the result would be.
There was nothing for me to do but pace and drink coffee. Wait it out. I done it. For hours until they came back. When I opened the chart, delight filled me. Cody would be saved. Nicole was his perfect match. But the other results were disheartening.
"You nor Gemma match Abel enough. No. Don't do this to me. This is God punishing me for what I've done. If I don't do something now. I will lose my son. I won't let that happen no matter what I have to do." It was a statement of the obvious. A comment of a mother's bleeding heart. An omission of guilt for what I was about to do. An unforgiving betrayal that had to be done. An impractical solution that probably wouldn't work but it was the only glimmer of hope I had left to hang on to.
The web held true. The cunning spider would chew up, devour and spit out any male who got in the way of her young. She would always sacrifice the man to protect and care for her babies. Nothing would ever break this cycle when my children were involved.
As usual Kyle knew the meaning of what I said and never broke the eye contact we had made with each other from across the room. It was pleading eyes with him, an expression of concern for my child and an apology for what was about to take place. He was right, I would betray him again; each time. The promise of the secret I vowed to never reveal was one I could no longer keep. He might not forgive me this time and always hold a grudge. But Abel came first and it was how it had to be.
Although, I wasn't given the chance. Kyle made the choice to come forward on his own. He laid his arm across the table then made a fist a couple of times. "See if I match Abel."
"How in the hell can you match my son?"
"Because Jax, I am John Teller's son too."
I hope you enjoyed reading me! We will be moving on to the next chapter; Crossroads. But the mythology meaning of it….
A huge thank you goes out to all you lovelies for staying with me on this story. You have make it a lot of fun for me to write it.
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