She was reeling from the news. Thirty-three missing persons, twelve confirmed dead; all in the last month. Lily buried her face in her hands, flooded with guilt she hadn't felt in months. Just yesterday, she'd been laughing herself to tears over the Marauder's antics. Halloween brought out the inner child in her boys, and it was made twice as bad thanks to copious amounts of alcohol. Now… Now she couldn't escape the war. Her throat was tight, and guilt threatened to consume her.
"Hey." Alice collapsed in the chair beside her.
"Hey." Lily mumbled through her hands. She was too depressed to consider whatever lingering resentment she felt for Alice Longbottom. They hadn't spent much time together since their fight, though Alice had apologized a few times. They were paltry apologies at best, and she'd never modified her opinion of Sirius. At least not to Lily's knowledge, though she knew Frank was aware of Sirius' covert work with Moody. He'd shared a few missions with them.
"Are we losing?" Alice wondered, slumping over the table.
"I dunno." She sighed. "Maybe."
"I feel so stupid right now."
"Oh?"
"I was so bloody happy this morning." Alice moaned. "I'm so damn ignorant." Lily glanced over at her. Alice was pale and crying soundlessly. Was she even aware of her tears?
"Alice?"
"I'm pregnant." She choked over the words, and for a moment, Lily wondered if she was even happy about it. "Merlin, Lils, I'm such an idiot. I wanted this. Frank and I have been fighting for months trying, and… Damn it, I was so happy. We've known for a few days, and I was so…relieved because I wouldn't have to go on missions." Alice swiped away tears angrily. "Now, I realize I'm just a bloody, selfish bitch, and it's too late to do anything now! I mean—"
"Alice, stop." Lily shifted to put her hands on Alice's shoulders. "You want a child more than anything in the world, right?" She nodded mutely. "So have your baby. At least there's one happy thing in our lives, right?"
"It's not fair." She whispered hoarsely. "What about all of those people?"
"I don't know." Lily admitted. "I was thinking the same as you, though. We had a grand old time celebrating Halloween, bloody forgetting about all the suffering going on right now."
"It feels like I can't breathe." Alice moaned, allowing Lily to pull her into a gentle embrace. "I want this baby; more than anything in the world. But I feel so guilty."
"Sirius would tell you to just stop feeling guilty."
"And what would you say?"
"I'd say… I don't know how to make the guilt go away. I throw myself on death's doorstep every day just to keep from being overwhelmed. I admire you, Alice, I truly do."
"Admire?" Alice scoffed coldly, though she stayed snuggled under Lily's arm.
"You're not putting your life on hold for a madman. You're not unfeeling to the pain that others are going through. So you can't go out in the field anymore. That doesn't make you useless. There are other ways to help; even if it's nothing more than making sure Frank's taken care of after his missions."
"I can't ask him to stop going." She muttered, gripping Lily tightly. "I've thought about it, and I want to ask him so bad it hurts. But I can't. It's what he wants; it's what he needs. This war needs him more than I do, but Lily, I'm so scared. What if he doesn't come home?"
"He will." Lily whispered with conviction she didn't feel. Everything was a risk. She held onto Alice tighter than she needed to. "And you'll have a beautiful baby with him. And your baby will grow up to be a great person. He'll do wonderful things, I just know it."
"You're an amazing person, Lily Potter." Alice mumbled. "I hope I can be half as forgiving as you someday."
"Don't be silly, Alice. You're twice as forgiving as me, or have you forgotten what kind of brat I was fifth year?"
"I can't believe I'm pregnant." She sighed, instead of responding to that. "I've wished for it for so long that it seems like a dream. Too good to be true."
"I could pinch you." Lily offered innocently. "Just to make sure you're really awake."
"Brat."
"You know you love me."
"I do know that." Alice pulled back, smiling weakly. "And I hope you know how sorry I am that I took some of my frustration out on you."
"I'll keep you around." Lily teased. "If only to have a girl to talk to. Marlene doesn't answer my owls anymore."
"She's just jealous of what you and James have. She's bitched at me over Frank recently, too. I guess her think with the muggle isn't going well." She shrugged loosely. "Frankly, the fact that you're all so trusting over there in that house is astounding."
"James is the trusting one." Lily shrugged loosely. "Maybe someone else wouldn't have the right kind of respect for his friends and wife, but I know James does and I love him for it. And he doesn't have anything to worry about."
"I'm sorry a million times over for insinuating that he did."
"It is what it is." She sighed. "I still feel guilty for feeling any manner of happiness."
"But you're doing something." Alice reminded her. "At least you're doing something about this war."
"There are opportunities for you without you ever having to go to the front lines." Lily hoped she'd take them. They needed all the help they could get to win this war. "All you have to do is look for them. And I expect to hear updates, missy. Remind me that there's more to life than missions and death, got it?"
"Got it." She tried to smile, but it was faint. They were quiet for a minute before Frank joined them. He didn't sit, though he won a more genuine smile from his wife.
"Ready, babe?" He asked, resting his hand on her shoulder.
"Ready." Alice rose, and they shared a soft kiss. "I'll write, Lily."
"Tell me all about it." She stayed still, watching them walk out together before looking for her own husband. James was locked in an animated discussion with three aurors. From the looks of things, they were sharing spells and tricks. Lily watched without making a move to join.
"Hard to take, isn't it?" Peter sighed, settling at the table beside her.
"It just keeps getting worse." Lily agreed, playing with the tips of her hair. "How've you been? You haven't been over to the house recently."
"Mother keeps me busy." He shrugged. "And I have watches every other night—graveyard shift most times." Peter made a face. "I miss you guys."
"You have a room at the house whenever you want it." She reminded him. "We don't have to be around for you to come over."
"I know." His smile was genuine. "And I appreciate it, Lils, I really do. I wish I could take you up on it more, but I don't like leaving mum alone."
"Has she gotten worse?" Lily wondered, still uncertain as to what exactly was ailing his mother. None of the boys had ever said directly, and she wasn't willing to pry.
"Holding steady for the most part." Peter lost his smile, frowning at the table. "I just worry. She has trouble walking."
"If you ever need anything—"
"I know where to find you." He squeezed her hand. "James and Sirius have said the same more times than I can count."
"Good." Lily said simply. She knew Peter struggled with his self-esteem. Pounding it into his head that they truly were his friends seemed like a decent way to help bolster his confidence. She didn't ever want him to think that she'd replaced him in his circle of friends. She still couldn't manage a genuine smile, though. Her heart was heavy. Even when James made his way over to them, she could only offer a grimace.
"I should get going." Peter sighed, nodding to James.
"Tell your mum I said hi."
"I will." Peter rose and shuffled off. Most were leaving, and James held his hand out to her. She took it silently, letting him lead her to the door. Lily was glad that apparation was difficult to track. What could they say if people asked why they were going to Hogsmeade rather than to home?
The streets of the village were deserted. There was no one around to watch them trek beyond the fence line towards the Shrieking Shack. Though she knew perfectly well that the Shack had been haunted by a werewolf only once a month on the full moon, Lily still felt a tremor of worry when James ushered her through a hidden door at the side of the Shack. The inside was as much of a mess as the outside. Lily wrinkled her nose, but said nothing as she followed James through the Shack to the tunnel that would lead them to Hogwarts. How familiar was this for him? Had they ever come outside of the full moon just to have a place to hang out? She wouldn't ask, though she wondered.
"Did Alice tell you the news?" James asked once they were deep in the tunnel.
"She did." Lily nodded at his back. "Oddly torn for how desperate she was to have a baby in the first place."
"Frank's the same way." He snorted, shaking his head slightly. "Stupid time to realize how ridiculous it is to have a child in the middle of a war. They should've realized months ago."
"Alice doesn't want to fight, though. I don't think she ever did."
"There are other ways to get out of it than to have a baby."
"I agree wholeheartedly." Lily shrugged. "Why do you think I nag so much about the charm?"
"That does get old after a while, you know." James grouched as the ground began to slope upwards. "I forgot once, and you've never let it go."
"And you haven't forgotten since, so my nagging is justified."
"Irritating." He corrected under his breath. Lily chose not to argue. He'd remember just to spite her, and it was enough. There were certainly times when she didn't even think about it. She just needed to make sure one of them remembered.
They emerged from beneath the Whomping Willow, and James paused for a beat to point out the knot at the base of the tree that would freeze it. Lily wondered how no one had figured that out before—and then wondered why anyone would bother. She rolled her eyes at herself, thinking about it only to keep from worrying over what sort of mission Dumbledore had in store for them.
They walked to the Headmaster's office in silence. There was tension in the silence, but Lily attributed it more to the upcoming mission rather than lingering resentment James might feel towards her nagging. If he was feeling resentful, then she knew he'd get over it before they left. Contraception charms weren't something to hold a grudge over.
"Mars Bars." James said at the base of the gargoyle statue. She took his hand as the stepped onto the staircase, wanting something to hold onto.
"Good afternoon." Dumbledore greeted as they walked in. "I am glad you could make it on such short notice."
"You said it was urgent." James reminded him.
"Indeed it is a matter of some urgency." He waved them over to his pensieve. "There is something I want you to see—an object that I need you to obtain."
"What object?" Lily wondered, though Dumbledore simply gestured to the bowl. Keeping her scowl purely internal, Lily leaned forward. It wasn't so much a memory as an image; a snapshot of time. She was aware of the buzz of conversation floating around, but the only thing she saw was a cup sitting on a wooden table. Everything around the cup was fuzzy and indistinct. The cup was ornate gold with a badger imprinted on the side. Lily tried to look at every angle, uncertain of the value.
Abruptly, she was in Dumbledore's office again. She met James' eyes over the pensieve, seeing the same confusion in him. They turned to the Headmaster, but Dumbledore was across the office, stroking the feathers of his phoenix.
"What is it?" James asked, glancing at the pensieve briefly before stepping away from it.
"Something that I believe is important to Voldemort."
"A gold cup?" He deadpanned, voice thick with disbelief. "Forgive my skepticism, but are you mad?"
"James!"
"He is right, my dear." Dumbledore smiled, unperturbed by the question. "You do not know Tom Riddle—what drives him; what means the most to him. To explain would take time that we do not have to spare."
"It's a bloody cup."
"It is the cup of Helga Hufflepuff, and as such holds great value to Riddle."
"He was Slytherin, though. Right?" James frowned.
"Indeed he was, Mr. Potter. It is not the House, but the tie to the school."
"You're speaking in riddles." James complained, glancing at her for support. Lily nodded just slightly in agreement, trying to follow Dumbledore's train of thought.
"Tom Riddle was an orphan. A boy who had no home before Hogwarts." He started to explain. "Hogwarts has been the only home he had, and as such, it is my belief that the school is precious to him. He applied a few years ago for the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. And I haven't been able to keep a professor for more than a year since." Dumbledore's eyes became glassy as he looked off to the side. They waited for a minute, but he didn't elaborate.
"Professor?" Lily prompted.
"Yes, my dear?"
"That still doesn't explain the cup."
"I have a theory." Dumbledore said evasively. "One that I hope is inaccurate, but fear is inevitable. I believe he is gathering artifacts from the founding fathers, and will do terrible things with them."
"Like what?" James demanded, scowling.
"Immortalize himself through means that I will not speak of." The gravity in his expression was daunting. "Know only that darker magic there is not."
"So you want us to fetch this cup?" James hazarded, frowning. "To keep him from using it?"
"If he hasn't used it already." Dumbledore nodded slowly. "It is a dangerous task. The cup will either be guarded by his followers, or it will be eagerly sought by them. I cannot guess which." Lily swallowed back a curse, glancing at James from the corner of her eye. His face was pale, though his eyes glittered with determination.
"You know where it is?"
"I know where it was last kept."
"That's a start." James sighed, ruffling his hair. "What happens if it's not there?"
"Then I'm afraid I must ask you to find it." Dumbledore said gravely.
"How?"
"I do not know."
"Perfect." James grumbled, glancing towards her. "Let's go before it's gone to some shit corner of the world."
"Where are we going?"
"A manor house in Batavia." Dumbledore answered. "Owned by the Lestranges."
"What?" They cried in unison. Lead filled her stomach. Horror made it hard to breathe. "You want us to break into…" James couldn't get the words out. He gaped at Dumbledore, shocked speechless.
"It is a difficult and dangerous task." He repeated. "One that cannot be trusted to anyone else."
"It's suicide!" James shouted, hands clenched. "You know that house will be guarded and guarded heavily!" As much as Lily wanted to help the Order's cause, she couldn't help but agree with James. This mission was beyond the point of acceptability. It was too dangerous; too risky. If they weren't going to brave an assault on those houses to rescue people, then why were they risking everything for a stupid cup?
"It must be done." Dumbledore's gaze was hard and unforgiving. "If you find that cup, it could grant us a path to victory."
"Pretty words." James sneered.
"We must know what kind of magic he has used for immortal gain."
"That was a passing rumor!" He sputtered, shaking his head.
"It is more than rumor, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore wouldn't lie. Lily stared at him, horror closing her throat. James was dumbfounded, gasping like a fish out of water.
"You mean he can't be killed?" Lily whispered numbly. "That this is all for nothing?"
"It is never for nothing." Dumbledore said sternly, blue eyes full of fire. "There is a way to defeat him. No matter what he has done, Tom Riddle is just a man. We need that cup."
She looked at James, heart heavy. Would they die on this mission? Would she lose him so soon after finding him again? Lily heard him agree to Dumbledore's plan, though her ears roared. She clutched his hand, head nodding in agreement with her husband without conscious prompting. This was the choice that had to be made. There were no second changes in war; no room for regret. She followed James from the office through the floo, mind whirling in circles. How could they make this work?
The house was quiet. Sirius and Remus were gone, and Lily was eternally grateful. How deep was her resolve? She sat at the kitchen table across from James, staring at him. Would this be the last time they were together in this house? Come home. Remus had told her. And bring James with you. Lily took a deep breath, promising the memory that she would find a way.
"What are we going to do?" James whispered, fear evident in his voice.
"We're going to go to that house. We're going to find the ruddy cup. And we're going to be home in time for supper." Her voice shook.
"Good plan." He offered a wan smile.
"Have a better one?"
"No." James ran his hands through his hair, scowling. They were quiet for a minute. Lily closed her eyes, trying desperately to formulate a plan of action. She was fixated on the possibility of death. It was too real. This was the first mission that she was given that had such a certainty of disaster. Every other time had been accidental. "Can I say something terrible?" James mumbled through his hands.
"Sure."
"I wish it wasn't us. I wish I'd never heard of the Order; that we were wholly outside of this stupid fight."
"Thought of that." Lily sighed, pressing her hands to her face.
"But it is us." James continued, voice firming. "So we're going to have a bloody plan. We're going to go and find the stupid cup. And we're going to be home in time for supper." He rose abruptly, stalking from the kitchen. Lily stayed where she was, grateful for him; for the admission and his resolve. At least they were on the same page. James returned with a thick, leather-bound book.
"What's that?"
"Pureblood thing." James shrugged, flipping it open. "Way back when before my family got wise, we were part of the coalition. And some old fart decided it would be great to share floor plans between families. That way, a pureblood would never be lost."
"And the Lestrange place will be in there?"
"Here's to hoping." He swung it around, having found the page with the manor drawn out. "Merlin knows how accurate this is. All I know is that the house is built against some manner of cliff. The Potter mansion was put in here, but we modified it on three different occasions since. Looks nothing like the drawing—or at least it didn't."
"Do you miss the mansion?" Lily wondered, glancing up at him rather than at the floor plan.
"I never would've wanted to live there." James shrugged loosely. "I miss the family, though. I wish more of our house elves had escaped the fire." Sadness crossed over his face briefly. "These drawings won't show us any secret passages, and if I had to guess, they'll have this cup thing in some hidden part of the house."
"Undoubtedly." She agreed, accepting the change in topic without argument. "But hopefully we won't be totally blind."
"Just mostly."
"Stick to the positive." Lily chided for lack of anything better to say. "Do you think the landscape will be similar? I'd say we come in from the west here, and hope this door is still functional."
"And unwarded."
"It'll be warded."
"Maybe we should bring Moony. He's fantastic with those sorts of spells." James traced his finger over the path she said, nodding to himself. "We'll have to play it by ear once we're inside. There's very little we can anticipate other than the fact that there's going to be a lot of dark curses around the place."
"You're better at finding hidden things than me." Lily said. "So you poke around, and I'll play with charms and keep a wary eye."
"I'd have suggested the same, so works for me."
"Write a note to the boys, and give me a minute to grab a few potions in case we need them."
"Potions?" James questioned.
"I've been brewing a stock pile of useful potions—healing, unsticking, burning, and plenty others. You never know." Lily flapped a hand at him. "I have that bottomless bag now…"
"That really was a good purchase." He muttered, most of his attention on the book. She turned for the stairs without admitting that she hadn't actually bought the bag. That it had been a final gift from his mother. Now was certainly not the moment to be discussing such things. Lily gathered any and every potion she had, thinking that there would certainly be things she couldn't anticipate. Who knew how a hangover potion would be helpful, but she threw it in the bag. It was weightless and endless. There was room to spare.
She returned to James as quickly as she could, chiding herself for trying to stall. He was finishing the note, invisibility cloak draped over a chair beside him. Lily congratulated his foresight, grabbing the cloak to stuff it in her bag.
"No." James forestalled her. "Let's go under it."
"Smart."
"I have my moments." He spent a moment looking at the note he'd written, frowning.
"James?"
"Should we leave this?"
"Sirius'll never forgive you if we don't." Lily shook her head, confused. "Why wouldn't we give them some forewarning of where to find us?"
"Because he's likely to come after us." James explained, tapping the note. "He'll know how stupid it is for us to go knocking on the Lestrange's door."
"Leave it." She pressed, grabbing his hand to drag him back. "We might be thankful for him coming later."
"Maybe." He heaved a sigh and stopped resisting her tugging. They trouped out down the walkway. Lily battled the urge to look back for one last glimpse of the house. She would see it again. Tense silence followed them to the alleyway. James looked around warily before throwing the cloak over their heads. She wrapped an arm securely around his waist, bracing herself for side-along apparation. James paused, though, tilting her chin up to kiss her briefly.
She held onto the feeling of his lips against hers as they slunk through sparse vegetation towards a dark house. Lily looked for any signs of life and found none. Silently, she cast three charms to reveal curses. They were standing a foot from a nasty looking trap. James guided her a few more feet away. The chosen door held no curses, and opened at the slightest touch. Lily didn't find the lack of wards comforting.
They crept inside. The décor was gloomy; swimming in old money spent poorly. The air was musty and thick. Lily wondered if someone actually lived here anymore. She scratched her nose, stopping James to perform a few more charms. They revealed nothing. James started combing the walls and the furniture. It would be best if they could only pass through each room once. Lily kept her eyes peeled for signs of life, stepping carefully after James and performing revealing charms every few feet.
They were not alone in the house. They'd known that even outside the door, but so far, they hadn't come across anyone. Lily had to tap James twice when he started muttering to himself. He squeezed her hand briefly after the second, quietly thanking her for the reminder. It was a bad habit.
They were finished with the third room when voices reached them. They froze in unison, immobile with alarm. The voices were fast approaching.
"—killed, Regulus."
"I don't know what you're talking about." The second voice was similar to Sirius', if perhaps a trifle higher. Lily had a moment to wonder if he was here under cover when the two men came into view.
"You know damn well—"
"I'm telling you, Lestrange, you're barking." In another scenario, Regulus could have been a handsome man. But he was gaunt and pale. His back was to Rodolphus Lestrange, but Lily could see the fear painted on his face. It was gone when he turned to face Lestrange. "My loyalty is, and has always been, to the Dark Lord. I will do whatever it takes to prove that."
"He has wanted the Potter boy dead for months, and you've failed to deliver results. You had your chance, Black."
"I got Potter away from his goonies, didn't I?" Regulus sneered, hands balled into fists. "Planting Blakely in the Order—"
"A child could have fooled that auror."
"But—"
"Besides, he almost raped that girl, and you know how Snape is—"
"I don't give a flying fuck about the likes of Severus Snape! He'll betray us, mark my words!"
"There's as much likelihood of that—"
"He's in love with a muggleborn!" Regulus shouted, flinging his hands up. "How am I the only one that can see past this farce? I bet he's feeding Dumbledore information even now!"
"How dare you question the Dark Lord?"
"I don't question him!"
"But you question his decisions by questioning Snape. Worry about your own fate, boy. I don't have to warn you, you ungrateful little—"
Their voices faded out of the house. A slamming door interrupted whatever adjectives Lestrange had to describe the youngest Black. It wasn't until they were alone, hearing nothing but the sound of their own breathing, that Lily realized she was squeezing the feeling out of her husband's hand. His grip on her hand tightened when she would have released him. For a moment, she met his wide-eyed stare with one of her own. James gulped visibly before tugging her forward to the next room.
He moved faster now. It made the risk of missing something higher, but she wanted to be gone from this place. Her heart was racing. Fear made her twitch at every suspected movement. Lily bit her lip, almost hard enough to draw blood. They were deep within the house now. She kept expecting a secret door to appear.
"—did everything you said, My Lord."
"Good, good." They went rigid. Lily's breath left in a rush. "And Dawlish?"
"Everything is set." Lestrange answered promptly. "The werewolves are pleased that you are letting them out to play, My Lord." Voldemort's answering laugh was cold. The sound of shutting doors cut it off abruptly.
James' hands were tight on her shoulders. Fear and uncertainty pulsed through her equally. Did they abandon this mission? Come back on another day? She glanced up at James, finding similar panic in his eyes. But beneath panic was grim determination. He forced his fingers to loosen and gestured her onward. Lily swallowed hard, gripping her wand tightly. They moved slowly now, stepping lightly and cautiously.
Lily tried to think of the map of this place. Where were they in relation to what this house used to be? Her grip on the back of James' shirt was tight. By her estimate, they were in an expansion of the original house. It was taking too long. She wanted to bolt; flee from the possibility of facing Voldemort again. Her only consolation was the tremor in James' hands as he prodded through furniture. At least she wasn't the only one freaking out.
"Creepy crawly through the house. I see you; see you I do. Where hides the creepy crawly?" Would she ever forget the sound of Bellatrix Lestrange's voice. She tugged lightly on James' shirt. He waved a hand at her. He'd heard the odd, leering chant, but he wasn't pulling away from the panel of wall he was poking. "Find you we will. Trespasser." Lily jerked on his shirt, heart in her throat. She would believe the words at face value. Bellatrix knew there was someone in her house that shouldn't have been there.
A thud of wood sounded behind her. Lily jerked around as James straightened. They watched as the wall sunk back on itself and slid to the side, revealing the hidden passage behind it. James started to smirk as a disembodied corpse launched from the darkness. His smirk turned into a shout of surprise. Lily choked on a scream, tumbling from beneath the invisibility cloak. She knew where James was only for the fact that the corpse outlined his body.
"Incendio!" She shouted, aiming wildly. Light shone over the heads of the Inferi, arching entirely ineffectively over the mass. But way in the back of the hidden room, past a veritable army of dead bodies, a golden chalice glinted from the light of the fire. She banished the Inferus clinging to James. A curse hit her square in the back. Lily dropped with a scream, feeling as though a thousand tiny knives were piercing her skin.
The curse ended abruptly, but she was dazed, struggling to untangle uncooperative limbs. James hauled her upright, face twisted in concentration as he fired curses at the doorway. More Inferi jumped at them, sending them sprawling to the ground.
"Incendio!" Lily shouted again; this time hitting several of them—and setting James' leg on fire. "Shit."
"Bombarda!" The wall and ceiling around the door collapsed.
"Protego!" It blocked twin curses.
"Crucio." Voldemort's cold, clear voice was the last thing she knew. Lily heard herself scream, aware of nothing but pain. Every inch of her body was agony. And it was hot, so unbearably hot.
Cool air hit her skin. The first indication that Voldemort's curse was no longer on her. Something sharp dug into her ribs. Lily struggled against the fog wrapped around her mind. James' shoulder. His shoulder was digging into her side. Then a feeling a weightlessness, followed quickly by unforgiving earth smacking into them both. They were no longer in the house. Lily blinked rapidly, untangling herself and staggering upright. James was on his feet, firing and deflecting curses as quickly as he could. They were outside, halfway between the house and the steep cliff—exactly where they shouldn't have been. Voldemort was flanked by Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. Inferi swarmed around them, intent on her and James.
Fire erupted from her wand, driving the Inferi back. She fumbled for James. His attention was locked on the duel. He didn't have the presence of mind to apparate or even try to escape to safety. A curse lifted him from beneath her reaching hand, flinging him back towards the cliff. Lily screamed, forgetting the danger. Forgetting that Voldemort was mere feet away.
"James!" He hit the ground and tumbled. She pelted for the cliff. There was a spell. What was the spell to stop him? He skidded and vanished over the rim. She cried out again, skidding to a stop on the edge. "Aresto momentum!" Oh Merlin, was that so hard to remember? She didn't get a chance to see if his descent was slowed at all. Something struck her back hard; like an out of control bludger. She was too close to the edge. She tumbled, scraping her knees and elbows before the cliff face curved away from her and dumped her into open air.
Lily was not a flier like James. She could enjoy a pleasant ride on a broom, but she was not reckless as he liked to be. She didn't like the sensation of free falling. And now she was plummeting through open air with nothing to catch her. Waves crashed against rock beneath her. She'd never tried to stop her own movement with a spell. She screamed the incantation, repeating it again and again in her head. Some piece of her accepted that the spell worked. She hit the water like a ton of bricks rather than splattering like an egg. It knocked the air from her lungs, but didn't knock her out cold. Her back screamed in bitter agony. Was it from falling, or was it that last curse?
She flailed her way to the surface, gasping as her head broke free. Lily drug in a mouthful of air that turned abruptly into seawater as a wave crashed over her. She choked, driven under by the force of the wave. Merlin, I hate swimming! She flailed her way to the surface again, choking up water, scarcely able to draw a breath before another wave overwhelmed her. Her vision was full of black spots. She needed air. She clawed for the surface again, hardly knowing if she was swimming up towards the surface or flailing deeper into the ocean. Feeling was leaving her.
Then she was flying again. Her body broke the surface of the water, and she slammed into something hard. Something that caught her and held her as she vomited up seawater and bile. James. She was a mess; vomiting and crying and trembling all at once. Gasping for breath and unable to lessen the terrible need for air from the panic coursing through her veins. She ran out of water to expel, hanging limply in his arms as she gasped and coughed. Finally, air seemed to permeate her lungs again. She could breathe.
Cold wind blasted into them. Lily shuddered, teeth chattering immediately. They stumbled, half-falling every other step, trying to get away from the spray of water. The outcrop of land was tiny, though. There was no escaping the spray of the ways crashing against the cliff-face. Her eyes caught on a rather large boulder. It would offer some manner of protection against the biting wind. James stumbled and fell. Lily caught herself, swaying and waiting for him to clamber to his feet. This time, he stayed down. She looked down at him, and the world swooped around her. Vertigo. She half-fell, trying not to land on him. Lily groaned, bracing herself over top of James. His shirt was stained red with blood. She fumbled for her bag, catching a hard spray of water in the back. It knocked her forward. Lily scraped her chin on rock, staying sprawled over James for a moment too long. She hurt. It would be so easy to just give up. To curl up beside him and never move.
Focus, bitch. Lily straightened as best she could, summoning a healing potion. She tore his shirt open, hands shaking too much to be delicate about the process. James had a nasty gash across his stomach. She gagged, and had to lean as far from him as she could to throw up what little remained in her stomach. Her vision wavered as she dripped the potion over the gaping wound. It took her a few minutes to realize her vision was suffering for the tears swimming in her eyes. This kind of wound could kill him.
"I won't lose you." She mumbled thickly, finding her wand and racking her brain. What was the healing spell? She choked on a sob, curling over him. The spell came to her, and she whispered it, stemming the flow of blood and stitching his skin back together. It was a superficial fix. The best she could do. It wasn't nearly good enough. "This is my fault." He was unconscious. He couldn't argue against her. Lily cried, doing her best to shelter his body with her own. She didn't trust herself to try to move him behind the protective rock. Didn't trust herself to move the rock to a better spot. She shivered with pain and reaction and cold. She was soaked to the skin, and the November air had a bite of winter to it. Had they survived the fall only to die at the base of the cliff?
Apparate. His glasses were lost and she didn't remember the cloak, but she gripped his wand and hers, locking her arms around James. Apparate. Lily strained, but it didn't work. A low moan escaped her. They were caught beneath the apparation barrier. Trapped. She snuggled against James, willing the heat in her body into his. She hadn't come this far just to lose him. She couldn't escape the fact that they were likely to die before help came. She blinked against heavy eyelids.
I have to stay awake. She couldn't protect him if she was unconscious. Her body trembled. She battled the darkness threatening to steal her vision.
I have to…
Dull roaring brought her back from the darkness. Lily blinked, seeking through the blackness. A light shone, growing larger and then passing overhead. The roar got louder and louder. Lily groaned, resting her cheek back on James' shoulder. Her face felt like it was on fire. His shoulder was cool. His whole body was cool; a stark contrast to how she burned. Which was worse? Fever or freezing? She didn't know.
The light returned, zig-zagging over the ground, passing over them a few times. Lily groaned, wanting the light to go away. In the blackness, she could rest. She could escape the suffering of being alive. The roaring got even louder. The light was blinding.
"Mad-Eye!" Cool hands touched her heated skin. She managed a muffled groan of protest as someone lifted her away from James. "Merlin, you're burning up."
"Black?"
"They're here."
"Merlin." She was passed into a different set of hands. "She's burning up."
"They both are." The voice was grim. "Let me get him in first."
"Hurry up, Black." They carried her closer to the roaring. Lily blinked, seeing the fuzzy outline of a motorbike. How had a muggle motorbike gotten to this crop of rock?
"Put her here." She was straddling the bike, wedge securely in the driver's arms. James was beside her. He wasn't getting left behind. She licked dry lips, wanting to speak; to acknowledge the rescue. The bike's engine revved, and it was the last thing she remembered.
