La Verità Dolce
Sonnie
-O-
Mysteriously relieved of her studio duties, Tenten found the next week to be almost boring by comparison. She still practiced with Naruto and modeled with Sai, but the frenetic urgency to do everything waned. The work she'd been doing on the clock and watch was expedited by a tool kit that had been left for her. There was no note, but she strongly suspected Lord Hyuuga was behind it. A part of her also wondered if he'd gotten Shikamaru off her back for her, but wasn't quite sure if he'd ever do something like that on her behalf. It would explain Shikamaru's extremely cool but civil behavior towards her, and yet the possibility itself was startling.
I've been in a life and death situation with Neji and I still can't really say I know him at all. He's always defying my expectations. When I first met him, he was just as I imagined every noble to be. But now…it's as if he was conflicted about something. I'm changing his mind. He's different from before, almost humble. He's…kind of pleasant in a way…
Tenten hadn't truly given too much thought into what a fine catch Neji was. He was a wealthy noble from a fine family. He was also a good person, when he wasn't trying to impress anyone. He was both highly intelligent and physically commanding, possessing an equal share of both Tenten didn't even think possible. He wasn't soft the way she imagined all nobles to be. He had experienced personal hardship and while Tenten wouldn't exactly say he had totally gotten over it, he was doing the best as he could, or at least the best he knew how.
Tenten studied each tiny implement in detail. The feel of steel in her palm was soothing and familiar, and she rolled them between her fingers in the dim candlelight. They were excellent tools; high quality but not decorative or showy. Just like her…and just like Neji. She felt a little pang that he would never be able to admire her as a practical woman, just as a practical person.
I must be insane to entertain thoughts about a romance with a noble, especially Lord Neji. I want to get married one day, but he is definitely not the man for me for many reasons, the first of which is that he thinks I'm a man! I have no any money or status or anything else his uncle might want, and I can't see Lord Hiashi consenting to such a match. I would utterly ruin the reputation he's spent a lifetime cultivating and would kill to protect. It just…wouldn't work.
A little flustered by the direction of her thoughts, Tenten set a furious new pace at the task at hand. She was saving the watch for last, because it would take the most time and she was hesitant to part with it. She made decent work of everything else throughout the week but every time she would pick up a tool her thoughts would drift to Neji. She recalled how he'd witnessed her violent outburst and had said nothing derogatory about it. Maybe he knew what it was like to feel useless? Doubtful, if his uncle let him run parts of their family business. She regretted knowing so little about him because it made him even harder to understand and interpret. The only consolation she had was that she was probably equally frustrating for him, but that didn't give her a great deal of comfort.
I've never spent much time around men my age until I came here, but I can't imagine that confusing someone profoundly is a good thing if you might like them. How can I fancy someone I barely know? I really shouldn't even consider it because he doesn't even know I'm a woman!
Tenten ran a dirty hand through her disheveled hair; she was glad most of the students seemed content to ignore her. No one really had the chance to discover her secret since they never spent any meaningful time around her with the exception of Sai and Naruto. Luckily, one already knew and the other was too preoccupied to find out, and her odd friendship with them isolated her further from everyone else. The vast majority of Shikamaru's students had lots of money (or at least their parents did) so it was only natural that his three misfits band together, a perilous alliance as it was. She did notice Sai and Naruto spending more time together, which she heartily approved of. They were practically opposites but they were teaching other so much.
I'm glad I have Haku as a confidante, but how many letters or visits can I risk if the Hyuuga family is constantly calling on him? Neji's already suspicious of me, and Hiashi just plain doesn't care for me at all. Lady Hinata is incredibly kind. I can see why Naruto likes her so much. I bet Neji would like a beautiful, cultured girl, and I'm pretty much the opposite of that. So plain I can pass for a boy, growing up in the country helping a blacksmith make weapons and stay alive…I didn't even know I had royal blood until Haku told me and I'm no different than before. If such things are really so important, my life wouldn't have been the same, and not necessarily for the better.
Tenten twirled the tiny screwdriver in her hand slowly, momentarily mesmerized by the candlelight glinting off the silver surface. Being wealthy would give her the means to more thoroughly enjoy her hobbies, but she only found things worthy of her time if they were productive. Fixing things was about as practical as one could get, and she enjoyed it for that reason. Being forced to learn complicated dances or languages she would never need held no appeal, nor did wearing expensive clothes and shoes. They just had no point.
I would just…get them dirty, I suppose. I would never be comfortable in something too expensive for me to replace. What's the point of owning such a thing? Maybe I'd feel differently if I grew up as my mother did…I can't believe she never told me. But I suppose I can't get too mad at her; I'm pretending to be a man, after all. I guess we're big on lies by omission…
Tenten wondered if she should thank Neji for his generous gifts, but since she came by the time off and tool set anonymously, he probably didn't want the recognition. She realized it would be more awkward for them both, and she was thankful he was releasing her from that obligation. He wasn't trying to make her feel indebted, which she appreciated, and she had the good grace to spare him the embarrassment. He wasn't exactly happy he hadn't come to her aid, after all. He hadn't apologized, but his shame was evident. At least he knew he was in the wrong.
The studio door flying open announced Naruto's presence. Everyone else was out for lunch, and for as much as the blond enjoyed eating, he sure did it fast. He smiled at the now-familiar sight of Tenten working on his broken items and drummed his fingers on the desk impatiently.
"Tenten, Sai and I are buying some supplies for this week's trip to the Hyuuga estate. Did you want to go with us and get any paint or paper? We can pick some things up for you if you're busy."
Frankly, Tenten welcomed the idea of getting out. Her thoughts were traveling in all kinds of unwelcome directions and she figured a brief distraction would be good for her. She didn't have a lot of money and didn't really need much of anything that required her to accompany them, but she smiled at Naruto and told him she'd love to along. As she collected Naruto's objects, she was careful to wrap up her new tools and lock them up safely in her room.
-O-
Neji knocked gently on his cousin's door, surprised he even knew which one it was. Normally a servant would fetch her if her presence was required, but this was not a conversation he needed the help overhearing. A year ago he wouldn't have considered discussing his problems with her, but she'd spent her life under Hiashi's rule and was more knowledgeable about the more…familial…aspect of the illustrious businessman. Maybe she would be able to help, especially after a particularly odd encounter he'd just had with her father.
"Neji?" The surprise in his cousin's voice was obvious, but she detected his distress and invited him inside without a word. Neji followed silently, taking the seat she offered him.
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"
"There is very little you could possibly interrupt," Hinata replied. The words were spoken without malice or sarcasm, but they were bitterly accurate. A woman as intelligent and isolated as Hinata had very little to occupy her time. Even if her father permitted her to associate with other young women her age, nothing they could offer her in terms of companionship would interest her. The books in Hiashi's study were carefully selected to meet her educational needs but were far from engaging. Neji winced at the title he spotted on her chair: it was an encyclopedia.
"I know we don't talk often," Neji began, with some difficulty after a moment of uncomfortable silence. He hadn't been very kind to anyone after his father died, but he had been mercilessly cruel to Hinata. He wasn't in the mood to hear about forgiveness—he wanted revenge, and still did. Her pleas for him to move on with his life and let go of his anger had infuriated him. Her father was still alive; she didn't know how it felt and had no business telling him how to behave. She had often received the brunt of rage after she imparted well-intentioned but undesired advice.
"Actually, we never talk anymore, but I need to ask you something, if that would be alright with you," Neji amended. He hoped she could see how hard this was for him, because he certainly wasn't going to beg for her help. He was determined, however, not to lose his temper with her as he had in the past.
Hinata nodded, unsure if she should be relieved. She had never desired her relationship with her cousin to become so strained and hoped this might work towards resolving their differences. She wanted to believe that his presence had something to do with an honest wish to reconcile, but wasn't going to kid herself. The very blunt statement he leveled at her without warning was something she couldn't prepare herself for, however.
"What happened when you went away?"
Neji's pale eyes pinned her and there was no way she could miss what he meant. Everyone was talking about how she'd "changed," but truthfully, there were only minor differences. But having gone her entire life merely acquiescing to everyone's desires, even her servants, meant each instance of resistance or defiance was carefully documented and analyzed. Wishing to delay her arrival at dinner until she'd finished another chapter in a book paralyzed the household with dishonor and dismissing a maid because she was pulling too hard on her hair when it was being styled resulted in outrage.
"I…I don't really want to talk about it." Hinata's equally candid response didn't deter her cousin.
"Did something bad happen to you?"
Hinata almost laughed at that notion. There wasn't anything Naruto could do to her that she would consider bad. He would ruin her reputation merely by association, but that didn't matter one bit to her. Realizing Neji would just keep pressing her for more information, Hinata stopped resisting. Her calm façade faltered as she sighed.
"Before I left, I never knew that I had any desires or opinions of my own. No one ever asked me how I felt about everyone else making important choices for me. I'm not a contrary or spiteful person and now I'm made to feel like I am when I assert myself."
Neji sat up a little straighter. He could admit that his cousin was an intelligent woman, but capable of making her own decisions…? She knew very little about the real world and needed guidance in such matters. But she had been intentionally sheltered, whereas he had not. Otherwise their upbringing was very similar. She lacked the drive and ruthlessness that he felt were required when running a business, but certainly wasn't mentally deficient in any way. Neji correctly judged Temari's involvement in her brothers' business to be superficial, but it wasn't due to her lack of intellect, only interest. He thought it unseemly, but had no control over the blond-haired woman.
Hinata, on the other hand…
The violet-haired woman sought to stop his questions by asking her own, not wanting him to learn why, exactly, she decided to express herself after a lifetime of passivity. "Neji, why are you here? What's wrong? I know you just met with Father. I can tell you're upset."
Neji was in turmoil. He had originally wanted to ask her for advice on how to deal with business matters, but that was before his meeting. He now found himself ensnared by another issue, the one that Hiashi had brought up. It wasn't as urgent, but it was weighing heavily on his mind nonetheless. For some reason, he broached the subject by bringing up yet another person troubling his thoughts.
"Gaara is becoming even bolder than I ever imagined. Negotiations are a stalemate. When I first met him, he was almost apathetic. But ever since he arrived from Venice he's been cagey and uncooperative, all over a woman. He insinuated he knew her very briefly but an associate informed me that he was in contact with her for months. The head of one of Italy's most important businesses is obsessed with a courtesan for some reason I have yet to determine. He won't tell me why but I don't think it's the typical reason men are obsessed with such women."
Neji's topic might be considered scandalous, but his cousin had never censured him before. He noted the thoughtful, almost wistful expression on her face with interest. He realized a woman's perspective on the subject might actually be helpful; since he had never familiarized himself with romantic etiquette he did not know what was often done, not that procedure existed for such an embarrassing debacle as the one Gaara was in. He didn't declare it publically, but he'd been desperate enough to find her that he asked for Neji's help.
"Lord Sabaku found a task to narrow his focus, something he's enthusiastic about. Whatever the reason, he sounds desperate to find her. He wakes up every morning hoping to find more than just money. The last time you were so impassioned was after Uncle Hizashi died. My father pledging his resources to find the killers put your mind at ease. But Gaara won't be satisfied until she's found."
"How can I compete with his newfound passion, then?" Neji snorted. "Should I fall in love?"
Hinata smiled. "You've never met a woman that interested you before. She would certainly have to be something."
"Women are a distraction. Except for you, I can't boast knowing any accomplished women. I can't imagine marrying one or feeling desire for one. How can you love someone whose only redeeming qualities are superficial?"
Hinata laughed then, actually laughed at him. "You think the selection of noblemen any better?"
Neji scowled. His cousin was lucky, truthfully, to be marrying Haku. Even though he was a foreigner, and even though it was arranged, Haku would be considerate to her feelings in a way no other man he'd ever met would be. He was certainly a better choice than the ingrates running around Rome. If they didn't know how to properly wield a rapier, Neji shuddered to think how they would mishandle their unfortunate virgin brides. He couldn't express such a thing to Hinata, but felt confident that Haku wouldn't hurt or humiliate her in such a way.
"I think truly exceptional people are simply very rare, as they should be," Neji replied artfully, before Tenten's accusation of him being 'the consummate noble' came back to haunt him. When he didn't elaborate, Hinata gazed at him curiously before he continued hesitantly.
"The thing is that most good people are that way because they have responsibilities to keep them grounded. Nobles don't usually have that. If a noblewoman is only supposed to dress in the latest fashions and look pretty on someone's arm, how can she surpass such low expectations when she is taught to do so little and be any more than a decoration? Appearances are important, I believe, but mostly because it conveys the dignity and integrity of the person. But a person must then be able to support this façade with some kind of substance. You met Tenten a few weeks ago when Master Nara was here, correct?"
Hinata tried not to let surprise show on her face. She had originally thought her father had discussed the port deal with Neji, but now she wasn't so certain. She was not expecting the conversation to go in such a direction. She had spotted Tenten's secret almost immediately during her fleeting visit. She knew her cousin didn't spend much, if any, time around women and would simply dismiss Tenten's oddities as some kind of character flaw or weird peasant tic. Hinata was suddenly fearful he had learned the truth.
"Very briefly, yes." She hesitated. "I do believe you upset Tenten in that encounter."
Neji nodded. "Yes, we did not like each other very much then."
"Then I presume you like each other now?"
"I don't associate with commoners very often and I don't know him too terribly well. But aside from a somewhat hot temper, he behaves much like I wish other nobles would. He works hard and stands up for himself and obviously took his sword fighting lessons very seriously. Most of my schoolmates are lucky if they know what end of the rapier to hold in their hand."
Hinata smiled gently. She missed the way they used to talk. "Not everyone can boast your talent."
Neji recalled the man he'd dueled with a scorn. "Nobles should always conduct themselves with dignity. Swordsmanship is one way to gain a reputation, but it says nothing of a man's character."
"Do you think Tenten would make a better noble than some of your peers?"
Neji never thought about it exactly like that. "I highly doubt if he had the money, he would be inclined to spend it on women, drinking, and gambling. He values health and activity. He takes his personal safety and that of others very seriously. These are admirable qualities."
"Didn't you also think he was disrespectful and aggressive?"
Neji had definitely thought worse of the painter at first and was pleased how gently his cousin stated that he had originally disliked Tenten very much at first. It softened the blow somewhat, and gave him some hope in his predicament.
"I did, but I treated him unfairly at first. Perhaps even now I still do. But Tenten has more self-respect than most people I've ever met, but he has the distinction of earning it. He has so very little but everything he owns he worked for himself. He has no family, no connections…he's suffered hardship but overcame it without any of the support that I received when my father died. I wish I could meet a woman like that: so worthy of esteem, so capable."
Hinata felt the color drain from her face as it dawned on her what Hiashi had discussed. She realized that since her engagement was underway, her father had turned his attention to Neji finding a match. At least the monumental task of finding a man Hiashi would approve of was a moot point for her. As wealthy as they were, Neji would have his pick of nearly any noblewoman in Europe, but between his busy schedule and high standards, he was unlikely to find someone suitable, let alone a woman Hiashi would readily accept into the family. Her cousin was not going to tolerate some simpering idiot being foisted on him and Hinata knew they would likely clash over the subject if he didn't find someone quickly.
"My father won't start pressuring you until my engagement is official," Hinata told him kindly. "You have until my birthday. Haku is a good man. I should think he's not the only one. Conversely, there are plenty of good women out there, Neji, if that's what you're worried about."
"If I haven't found someone yet, what will a few months' difference make? I have no time because I'm always dealing with the Sabaku family. I spend the day researching different companies and their reputations, seeking respectable vendors, and trying to stay ahead of Gaara and his black moods. He's downright vicious in negotiations. His attacks are rather personal and offensive, but he is the head of the family, despite being youngest. He has a reputation feared across Italy."
"And he fell to the tender hand of a courtesan," Hinata advised him gently. "If you find her first, perhaps she might convince Gaara to make some concessions in exchange for something."
"Bargain with such a woman, you mean?"
"I don't think any woman really wants to be a courtesan," Hinata offered with a blush.
"Gaara must have been paying Voce Dolce a small fortune, but if she could be persuaded to change his mind on a few things—"
Neji's thoughts abruptly stopped when Hinata tenderly placed a hand on his arm. Her face was earnest and she locked eyes bravely with his in a way she hadn't done in years.
"Neji, I know you have a lot resting on your deal with Lord Gaara, but I beg you to stay true to yourself. The methods of Danzou and even my father, on some occasions, scare me sometimes. He thinks I'm ignorant of them, but I'm not. Even if you find Voce Dolce and she can't or won't assist you, help her be reunited with Gaara if she wishes it."
"But there would be nothing in it for me," Neji replied simply.
Hinata shook her head sadly. "That's not always the point."
"Then what is the point?" Neji asked archly. "Why give him what he wants if he won't give me what I want?"
Danzou would resort to blackmail or threats without a second thought—that was why Hiashi employed him. Hinata didn't even know this woman but never wanted to see harm come to her. She made the suggestion of paying her in the humanitarian hope that Neji might be able to deliver her from her current lifestyle. She didn't want Voce Dolce to be held hostage by Danzou so Gaara would be forced to do Neji's bidding or something equally appalling. Neji wasn't a bad person necessarily, but he had such difficultly understanding that he couldn't just destroy other people's lives when they inconvenienced his own.
In his own daughter, Hiashi had expected only her subservience, and such tendencies were discouraged. She was never pressed to pursue anything or take things at the expense of others. Her governess had urged her to be moral and Christian, but it often put her at odds with her other family members. Even her younger sister, Hanabi, took after their father and looked down on her diffidence. But even if they held her in contempt, she wasn't weak enough to back down from her beliefs.
"Neji, sometimes you just need to do the right thing."
