A/N: The funny thing about writing Snape is I've never liked him lolol. Idk how he ends up getting PoVs in this story so often, but eh, it happens
(I blame Dumbles, he makes Snape a thousand times more relevant :p)
In other news, I am… Like, so done with the Marvel Fandom. Sooo, sooo done. It's... Toxic af, and the majority of it is crazed Tony Stans that can't seem to stop bashing the hell out of any character that hurts their precious 'Tony Uwu'
It's gotten to the point where I made a parody spite fic called 'Tony Uwu' over it to call out some of the more idiodic tropes, but even then I don't bash Tony, I just use literal examples from the films
Like, I'll read the comics, write a fic if I feel like it, but other than that- I am going to straight up avoid reading Marvel fanfiction, because crazed Tony Stans (and I emphasize on crazed because I've read some good Tony centric stories that didn't bash the hell out of everyone else) are like goddamn cockroaches
It actually made me wanna update this, because this story is positive over all (unlike the mini angst storm that's building up in the From the Heart Verse now that Destiny Islands have been destroyed), sooo here you guys go! (:
Story Note: Toph shifts genders between a few scenes. Sometimes she identifies as she, other times as he. The reason I'm doing this is because Toph does have decades of memories identifying as female, but now has the physical body of a male and is comfortable in it
(I guess that means I've made Toph gender fluid? Lol this is the second time I've made a character gender fluid in this story. Anyways…)
Enjoy! (:
Published: 6/15/2019
Warnings: None
Featured Character:
Toph Beifong
Supporting:
Severus Snape
Draco Malfoy
Weasleys
Cornelius Fudge
Amelia Bones
Remus Lupin
Sirius Black
Antagonist:
Dementors
Chapter 29
Toph Beifong III
Severus, once more, felt yet another oncoming headache. An oncoming headache known as Toph Beifong.
Severus was going to have to cut back on the Calming Droughts. Best not to get an addiction to those.
"Explain again, please, what happens, Beifong," Severus hissed.
Beifong was kicking her feet back and forth without a care in the world.
"Well, I noticed precious little granddaughter had an evil possessed diary. Like, evil-evil. Azula level evils. Wait, no, Azula was more insane. Well, she wasn't always insane but she snapped and went insane. Like, she was always this really calm and collected person, but deep down I'm pretty sure she was a sociopath, but she kinda really wanted to be loved and she wasn't loved and- I see you don't care, moving on."
Indeed, Severus did not. What did he give a damn about a stranger who'd done questionable things because of a bad childhood?
As usual, the irony of the thought never registered in Severus' mind.
"Not like Azula. More like Ozai. Ozai level evil," Beifong decided, then nodded happily to herself.
"Ozai level evil?" Severus repeated dubiously, not having heard the name before.
Toph nodded.
"Mhm. The guy tried to torch half a continent," Beifong said far to casually and, had Severus been sipping tea he'd have spat it out in that very moment. Beifong paused and tilted her head. "Well, actually, it was more of a scare tactic. The place he specifically chose to start his attack on was miles from the nearest settlement, and was literally just a rock field, and he didn't have nearly enough ships to actually torch half the continent, but details."
Severus frowned.
"Those are pretty important 'details'," he pointed out.
Beifong shrugged.
"Eh, its ancient history. Literally. No, no, the important thing is-" Beifong produced a stone from her robes. "There's an evil soul shard stuck in this thing, and I think it might be Lord Moldypants because it feels like Lord Moldypants but on a lesser scale, ya know?"
Severus did not flail. He did not. Severus was far too refined to do so. His robes even billowed indoors, despite wind not being preset, out of sheer and utter respect. Severus Snape was not a man who 'flailed'.
Beifong tossed her head back and laughed as Severus, in his haste to get away from the cursed stone, stood up so abruptly that his chair went flying.
"Calm your tits, Sevy."
"Do not call me Sevy."
"Creepazoid."
"You brought a piece of the Dark Lord- wait, did you say that rock is infected with the Dark Lord's soul?!"
Beifong twirled the rock where she'd sealed the Diary spirit into.
"That's exactly what I'm saying. And, you know, I may have gotten it in here but I legitimately have no idea how to destroy the thing, so if you could be so helpful as to figure out a way for me to do that, that would be great!" Beifong grinned at him.
Severus resisted the urge to bang his head against the desk. Repeatedly.
Now that Toph had finally officially hit puberty (at the age of twelve), he- because Toph decided to fuck it and go with the new gender- he could finally fulfill his life long aspiration, at long last.
Draco Malfoy could only stare in abject horror.
"Wha… What… What are you doing…?"
Toph, busy performing yet another rep, didn't even bother looking at her dorm mate.
"In my last life," Toph said in between crunches, "There was this amazing play. Well, propaganda really, that stared me and my friends."
"Why would there be a propaganda play about you and your friends?" Draco asked, nose scrunched in confusion.
"We were leading the resistance movement against the local Dark Lord," Toph casually tossed out, and Draco flummoxed, because even in a past life Potter had been beating Dark Lords? "Well, it was twinkle toes' job to take out the local Dark Lord. It was mine to beat him into shape enough so he wouldn't get slaughtered."
Draco blinked. Potter had been… The backup? The Dumbledore in the scenario?
"We were all kids, so it was kinda fucked up now that I think about it. Aang was thirteen when he had to take down a guy who wanted to torch a continent down in single combat. Let me tell yah, buddy, I have never seen destruction on the scale those two were going at- hehe, get it, seen?"
Draco was not laughing. A thirteen year old? Winning a duel with a Dark Lord?
Admittedly, Potter had done something similar, with the Killing Curse literally bouncing off him to strike The Dark Lord himself and only coming out of the whole ordeal with milky unseeing eyes, but this was different.
This Aang had, from Potter's accounts, overpowered his Dark Lord. At thirteen.
"Anyways, that's beside the point. There was this play and most of it was just the Fire Nation twisting things out of proportion to make themselves look good, BUT-" Toph finally stopped her reps and grinned up at Draco. "My actor was ripped. Like, you have no idea. R. I. P. P. E. D. I must honor my onscreen performance. I must."
Draco could only watch in abject horror as Potter seemed determined to do just that.
Who had ever even heard of a Wizard working out?! There were potions for that, for Pete's sake!
(Yes, wizards are total cheaters, would anyone really be surprised?)
"Who would like to come up here and help me play out this scene? Mr. Potter, perhaps?" Professor Lockhart said pleasantly.
The entire class shifted, knowing full well the utter disaster of a human being that Harry James Potter was. Some of the girls started exuding fear.
All of the boys, and a few of the smarter girls, were watching on in excitement.
Toph, however, was utterly thrilled.
"Finally!" Toph shouted, rising to his feet. "Good practice for my upcoming debut!"
Lockhart let out a confused noise.
"Come again?"
"Well, I always had two dreams as a little kid: to lead the local Auror force or to be a celebrity star," Toph revealed, and Lockhart sounded like he was… Salivating, actually. Toph resisted the urge to cringe away in disgust.
His emotions shifted in the greedy, I can use this kid to increase my own fame direction, instantly loosing him respect points.
(Not that he'd built any, so, at this point, Gilderoy Lockhart was firmly in the negatives)
"I did the first one so now I can finally do the second!" Toph said cheerfully.
Lockhart blinked.
"What do you mean, you did the first on-"
"ENGUARD, FOOLISH WIZARD! BUAHAHA! FOOL, DID YOU TRULY BELIEVE YOU COULD ENGAGE THE WAGGA WAGGA WEREWOLF AND NOT EXPECT TO COME OUT OF IT UNSCATHED?!"
Lockhart's screams were musical.
Later, Snape twitched when he heard the report.
Beifong himself shrugged when dragged into his office.
"What? He's a Defense Teacher. I assumed he'd be able to fend of spells we learned in First Year, since that's all I stuck to."
Snape twitched, because he couldn't actually deny Beifong's words.
Toph was utterly surprised when he found himself surrounded by angry First and Second Year girls in the middle of his way down to Charms class.
"How could you do that to Professor Lockhart?" Hermione, of all people, was leading the charge.
"He's so sweet and dreamy and you abused him!" Lavender snarled.
"This is a new low, even for you, Potty!" Pansy spat, and Toph was honestly more surprised by the fact that Pansy was willing to put up with Hermione to yell at him than anything else.
"He's the best teacher this school has ever seen!" Parvati raved.
Toph tilted his head. Then, without warning, he tossed his head back and started laughing. The girls exchanged concerned looks, as did several other students passing bye.
"Oh Spirits, you guys actually almost had me believing that! Ha! Lockhart, a good teacher? I took him out using Flipendo, and I can't even see! Good one, Parvati!" Toph laughed.
It was only when their hands twitched towards their wands that Toph realized with an eep that they were not in fact joking. Freezing, Toph stared at them incredulously. Or attempted to.
"... You four are seriously wayyyy too smart to fall for a stupid act like that. I'm honestly disappointed."
Then, with that, Toph turned and skipped away, uncaring of the utter offense churning through the girls. Meh. Their loss.
"Do I- do I have to fight him?" Ron did not stutter.
"This is Dueling Class, Weasley. This is exactly what you came here to do," Snape told him without an ounce of sympathy.
Harry Potter was twirling his wand, ready to take Ron down at a moments move. Ron personally didn't want to fight Harry for several reasons, the first being that Ron had actually started to like the other guy.
Yes. Ronald Weasley liked a bloody slime Slytherin. It was true.
How could he not? Harry had saved his sister from… Whatever was in that diary. The Headmaster had even made an announcement about it, and talked to them all about the danger of cursed objects, and how even benign things like diaries could really be monsters in disguise.
That was the first reason Ron didn't want to fight Harry. He generally liked him, even if Harry did have an annoying tendency to baby him and kiss him on the forehead and occasionally show up at the Gryffindor table before shoving what he deemed was a 'healthy lunch for a growing boy' at Ron, much to his embarrassment every single time it happened.
The second reason was…
Well, Harry Bloody Potter was damn terrifying and had taken out their dueling teacher while trying to re-enact a play.
"Don't worry, Haun! I promise I'll go easy!" Harry told him.
"I still don't know who that is," Ron reminded Harry.
Harry shrugged before lifting his wand, pointing it straight at Ron.
"Bow to each other," Snape commanded.
They both did so.
"Now… Begin!"
"Serpensortia!"
Ron yelped. He hadn't shouted that. He wasn't sure who had shouted that. Regardless, there was now a snake slithering along the table surface, hissing every which way and-
Harry Bloody Potter was hissing right at it.
Harry paused, and tilted his head.
"Geez, calm down, it's just a snake! A… Holy shit, the snake can talk- actually, it's a magic snake, so that shouldn't be surprising," Harry said before the rest of his words were lost in an incomprehensible array of hisses.
Then, Professor Snape vanished it. Harry froze. Ron watched in abject awe as Harry spun on the Professor, annoyance splayed across his features.
"Hey! How dare you! Howard and I were having a very pleasant conversation!" Harry spat.
Professor Snape blinked.
"You named the snake 'Howard'?"
"No, Creepazoid, that was his name. He told us all very clearly. Didn't you hear him?"
"No, because I cannot speak snake," Professor Snape snarked.
"Oh har har," Harry rolled his eyes, "That snake was using plain, clear English. Just admit your snakecist and go."
Snakecist?! Was that even a word?
"Contrary to your assumption, it is not normal for a human to be able to understand the speech of an animal."
"Buddy, I once met a giant, sentient, talking, man eating owl. A snake that speaks English would hardly even phase me."
"CLASS DISMISSED!" Lockhart announced.
Ron was a Gryffindor. Ron was brave. Ron was loyal to his friends, even the weird mom friend that insisted on babying him whenever he got the chance. As such, Ron didn't hesitate to grip Harry's arm and drag him away and out of the Great Hall, even as Snape attempted to glare him into submission.
He and Harry had to have a long talk, because it was abundantly clear to Ron that Harry had absolutely no idea what a Parselmouth even was.
"So, what your saying is that Snakes don't speak English."
"Exactly."
"So I'm speaking Snake."
"Uh huh."
"And… It's considered the mark of a Dark Wizard?"
"Well… Generally, yes." Ron admitted.
Harry stared for several seconds before tossing his head back in laughter. Ron was completely unimpressed, but he couldn't say he was surprised.
"This is great! I talked the hat into putting me in Slytherin just to fuck with people, and this whole Parseltongue thing is definitely gonna help!"
One second.
Two.
Three.
"YOU MEAN YOU AREN'T ACTUALLY A SLYTHERIN!"
Harry stopped laughing and shot Ron an incredulous look.
"Haun, sweetie, dear, my favorite grandchild, do I look like a Slytherin to you?"
"And here we were," a voice called out.
"Wanting to make you our apprentice," an identical one chimed in.
Wait… This was. Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no.
"But it is from you that we should learn,"
"TEACH US, WISE ONE!"
Harry and Ron turned. There, laid before them in supplication, were Fred and George. Harry grinned and cracked his knuckles.
"Very well, my young apprentices. I shall make you powerful and glorious, proper minions of the Great Melon Lord!"
Why was Ron the only sane one!?
Screw it, he needed to find Hermione. Sure, she could get on his nerves sometimes and was a bit of a nag, but at least she was sane too!
Since Toph had stopped the Diary so early on, there was no one to release Slytherin's monster. No one… Except Toph.
Toph had known from the very beginning that there was a massive chamber underneath the school. Until now, she hadn't been able to access it, even with her Earthbending.
For whatever reason, she'd always end up redirected. Or, one memorable time, she was teleported out and landed smack dab in the middle of an Acromantula colony that was now missing a good chunk of their former numbers.
Now, however?
Toph hissed and the entrance opened for her.
Toph made her way down, searching until she came across it. She could feel it, living, breathing, resting within… A massive statue of some monkey faced guy. And, if Toph could tell that on seismic sense alone, you know its bad.
"Why would anyone who looks like that make such an accurate state?" Toph blinked before shrugging. "Eh. Awaken! I command thee, for I am the Melon Lord, and thou must obey!"
No one in their right mind would ever accuse Toph Beifong of not being dramatic.
"Who dares to disturb my sleep!"
"Toph Beifong."
"Who? It matters not! Death to all who do not have the blood of the Heir!"
Toph blinked as the giant snake... Glared at her? Toph was pretty sure she was being glared at.
"Why do you not die!"
"I'm blind, dingus." Toph responded.
The giant snake reeled back in disgust.
"Then I shall crush you between my fangs, child."
Toph raised a single eyebrow.
One short fight later, she had Slytherin's Basilisk pinned to the ground, rings of stone holding it in place.
"Owe, owe, owe! Fine! I concede my defeat! Release me!"
"Swear your allegiance," Toph barginnged.
The snake stopped squirming. "Seriously?"
"I have friends here in this school and you tried to kill me because I didn't smell right. Damn right I want you to swear."
Toph didn't have to see to tell that the basilisk was rolling its massive eyes.
"Fine, fine. I, Sasha the Great, swear my allegiance to Toph Beifong! Happy?"
Toph got off and got rid of the rings. Free, Sasha rose up and stretched comfortably.
"Immensely. Now, I'm sure you're hungry, so you can go hunt in the Forbidden Forest. There are literally thousands of Acromantula, and I'm surprised they're allowed so close near the school but eh."
Sasha blinked.
"What sort of moron would- never mind, free banquet. Thank you, master!"
With that, Sasha sashayed away, and Toph gained a new all powerful minion.
If there was one thing Toph hated with a passion, it was Dementors.
His spiritual senses made them all the worse. Toph didn't even have to be near the damn things to start feeling their presence.
On the bright side, the ability to Spirit Bend also gave him another keen ability, even if Toph himself was half passed out in the presence of these monsters, Toph Beifong did not go down without a goddamn fight.
And Dementors had never come across someone like Toph before.
Remus Lupin stared.
"Did… Did you just petrify a Dementor?
Toph nodded.
"Whose bright idea was it to send soul sucking monsters on a train full of kids, anyways?"
Elsewhere, Cornelius Fudge shuddered for no apparent reason
Toph passed out the moment they actually reached Hogwarts. While he was perfectly capable of taking out Dementors one by one, the literal army floating above the school was too much even for him.
Remus scrambled, holding the child in his arms as he glanced up.
"What's wrong with Potter?"
"What happened?"
"Did he really faint from the Dementors?"
Remus scowled at the children.
"Move along. I will get Mr. Potter to-"
"Harry! Harry!"
Remus suddenly found himself surrounded by the Weasley's, a dozen different Slytherins, a couple of Gryffindors, and at least half a dozen more from the other houses.
"Is he okay!"
"What happened?"
"Potter is a literal beast, what could do this?"
Remus blinked. On the bright side, it did seem Harry had plenty of friends. On the weird side…
Was that Lucius Malfoy's son among the throng of students?
Cornelius Fudge could only gape.
"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?"
Amelia Bones glared at him.
"It seems, Minister, that the Boy Who Lived has an odd sensitivity to the Dementors. He actually managed to kill one, which, frankly, is something that's practically unheard of. Regardless, the large presence of Dementors around the school keep knocking him unconscious, and the parents are in an uproar." Amelia repeated dutifully.
Fudge continued to gape before he began to mutter to himself angrily. "That boy will be the death of me! First, he up and vanishes for years on end! Then, when we finally find him, he refuses to go back to his foster home and comes and goes as he pleases! Don't even get me started on the Parselmouth incident from last year!"
Amelia was not impressed.
"Cornelius, Mr. Potter is a child." Amelia reminded him.
"A child that is a perpetual pain in my backside." Fudge shot back.
"Let me be more clear," Amelia said, voice a savage whisper. "Mr. Potter had killed at least three Dementors per day since they've been implemented at Hogwarts. Despite the fact that they cause him to pass out, he is killing them." Amelia emphasized. "Unless you wish for Azkaban to remain guardless, we need to pull back the Dementors and replace them with Junior Aurors."
"But, but- the budget!" Fudge objected.
"Can afford placing guards at a school. In all honesty, I'm not sure why we didn't have them there in the first place, it would have helped with that mess with Quirrell two years back," Amelia said.
"Another Potter nightmare!" Fudge cried.
"... I'm going to order the Dementor retreat before Potter manages to master the Patronus and kills them all."
"Oh, come now, what thirteen year old could possibly master the Patronus Charm?"
"... The same thirteen year old inexplicably turning Dementors to dust?"
As it was… They were too late.
"Ha! I don't know what my Patronus even looks like, but since I made it, I bet its badass! Die! Die, soul suckers!" Toph screamed.
Several people stared.
"His… His Patronus…" Draco said, not sure if he should be in awe or in fear.
"Why… Why is it a giant bald child with arrow tattoos swinging a wooden staff?" Ron said.
The two boys exchanged looks.
They would never, ever like each other. Not really. Not truly. They wouldn't.
But, even sworn enemies could bond over the weirdness that was Harry James Toph Beifong Potter.
"Wha- awe, come on! They're running away! Just when I was getting the hand of this too-" Toph yelled with a pout.
"TOPH BEIFONG!"
Toph eeped, jumping slightly.
Severus Snape stomped down the field, head already throbbing as Toph turned to face him, smiling sheepishly before several dozen piles of ash and several more petrified Dementors.
"Um… It was self defense?" Toph claimed.
Severus was going to murder whoever decided it would be a good idea to teach Toph Beifong the Patronus Charm.
Elsewhere, Remus Lupin sneezed.
Sirius awoke to find himself dangling upside down and back in his human form. This was never a comfortable way to wake so he quickly yelled out in alarm, looking around in fear.
Where… Was he? Sirius looked around at what he could only assume was a Slytherin death dungeon. Snake statues everywhere, water dripping in all directions, a giant statue of Salazar Slytherin, his godson, a giant bloody sna-
HIS GODSON!
Sirius turned to stare at Harry. Or attempted to. The chains that bound him spun him around until Harry lifted a hand, haunting them in place wandlessly.
Woah.
"So, this is the famed Sirius Black. How sane are you, by the way? I mean, I remember you ranting about some 'rat bastard' when I was little but the memory is kinda hazy and everyone seems to tell me you're the one who betrayed my parents, so… What's the real story, Black?"
Sirius blinked.
"You… Captured me in my sleep and aren't even sure if I'm guilty?"
Harry shrugged.
"If I was, I'd have already handed you over to the Aurors. So… Talk, Black. I want to know everything. We have ways of making you talk."
"We?"
"Sasha." Harry motioned to the basilisk. Because Harry had a basilisk. James Potter's son had a bloody basilisk and this was probably the fabled Chamber of Secrets and James Potter's son had a basilisk.
Sirius promptly fainted.
