Thorin,

I knew you loved me, I suppose I should tell you that. You could never say it but I could see it in your eyes, feel it in your touch. What hurt me more that not hearing you say you loved me, was when you tried to and never could. I think it scared me, and it made me wonder if you could ever love more than some of me. Did you ever guess that is why I did not go with to the Blue Mountains, because I was afraid?

I love him. I do not mean to hurt you by saying that, but you should know it was not easy. It hurt me to let you go. I loved you. I don't know if you still know that, but I loved you. But maybe I only loved some of you, and maybe not enough. Or maybe I loved you so much that I could not bear being without you, and so I let you go. All I know is I love him, I love all of him. The whole town was at our wedding. Does it seem odd to you that people could have stood so happy at a wedding that was not yours and mine? It did to me.

I know you will not understand, I know you think I have forgotten you, that you think you are nothing to me. You're wrong. I knew I would miss you. But the surprising thing is, you never left me. I never forgot a thing. Every kind of love it seems, is the only one. It doesn't happen twice. And I never expected that you could have a broken heart and love with it too. Love so much that it does not seem broken at all.

You wanted to see that I was happy. If you have gone through the flowers and are reading this then you know that I am. This is the life that I wanted, the man that I wanted. I know it seems cruel to say that to you but I am not trying to hurt you. I want you to see that the first time I was unhappy since I was wed, was when I saw you. I hope you understand that is because I love you still. I honestly do not if I could ever stop. I need you to know that I did not love him to hurt you. I loved him for me. You left me broken, and loving him made me feel as though I could be whole again. I know you will go to Erebor, slay the dragon, reclaim your homeland. I know you will do all of that, and I hope that at some point you will think on my kindly as I do you. I wish you all the luck in the world Thorin Oakenshield.