Away from home
I didn't even sleep, the flight was at 4:30 am, Andrew drove me to the airport but I didn't let him wait with me, so he wouldn't find out I wasn't going to NY. I was praying for the flight to be on time, I was lucky, there was only 10 minutes of delay. I fell asleep and only woke up when we were landing in México. After that I couldn't sleep anymore, I got my notebook in my bag and started scribbling. I was thinking about her the whole time, and with that inspiration, I wrote. I knew that what I had written would become a song. I couldn't wait to sing to her... When I finished it, I tore the sheet out, folded it and put it into my bag.
I forced myself to get some sleep and woke up when we were landing in São Paulo. I got my luggage and stopped in the middle of the lobby. I realized I had no idea where Anne was. And as far as I remembered about geography, São Paulo was not exactly a small city. I was almost calling Matt to ask for help when I remembered I had the producer's number, on my cell. I knew it would be useful. I called there, and it tooka while for me to find someone who could speak at least a little english. The woman gave me the address where the shooting was happening, and after a lot of struggle, I wrote it down, I hope it was right.
I left the airport and went looking for a cab. I gave the address to the cabdriver praying that it existed, that I hadn't written it wrong. It was right, at least he knew it. Luckly, the cabdriver spoke a little english, so I wasn't totally lost. He told me about some hotels close the locations where I could stay in, I asked him to leave me in one of those, checked in, went to the bedroom, left my luggage there and went after Anne, the driver had taught me how to get there, it was close. It was a big park, it took me a while to find the crew. I was looking forward to see Anne, to clear things up, she was definitely thinking I was the worst person in the world, she had to know the truth…
While I was thinking about all of that, I saw her. She was shooting something, turned the camera in my direction and froze. I walked towards her, I barely felt my legs… She was holding the camera with her eyes widened, staring at me. When I got to her, I grabbed the camera, she looked down.
"Anne... can we talk in private? "
She couldn't even answer. When she did, she used a trembling and rude voice. She still wasn't looking at me.
"Can't you see that I'm working here?"
My face was catching on fire, now that I was face to face with her, I lost my guts... But I tried to be firm.
"Anne, I came all this way to tell you exactly everything that happened, you have to listen to me!"
I touched her arm, she backed down as if she had received a shock. Her eyes were getting red.
"David, leave me alone please, this is a working enviroment, can you respect that?"
I wasn't giving up.
"Anne, I'm gonna beg for your attention, even if I have to scream here, s everybody can hear…"
She tried to ignore me, turned the camera back on and kept filming, there were a lot o people, crew, extras, it was a mess. But I could see her shaking hands. And as far as I knew, there was no earthquake in Brazil, the video wouldn't be too realistic... and then she gave up.
"Let's get out of here."
She was getting her things, and I followed her.
"Where are we going?"
I decided to use "we" instead of "you" to make clear that I wasn't giving up. But she didn't give in.
"We? WE are not going anywhere David, you made all of this and you think you can just show up here, make me lose focus, apologize and I'm gonna accept as usual, do you think it's easy for me to see my brother in that jail? Matt is a kid, he doesn't know anything, and I'm sure that as myself, he always trusted you…
My voice failed again...
"Anne, listen to me..."
She went on.
"No David, you listen. Drugs? Do you have any idea how serious this is? We grew up together, and I had never seen you with these things… after this damn show you turned into somebody else… and I just won't accept that you take my brother with you in this…."
She was still thinking Matt was an angel. I walked faster, grabbed her arm and made her face me.
"Listen to me..."
She pushed me and tears rolled down her face...
"Let go of me! What do you want, David? You already hurt me enough, I made mistakes with you too, but Matt was always your loyal friend, he was always by your side, I won't admit that you do any harm to him…. How could you let your label bail you out of jail and leave Matt there? Did your producers grow up with you? Did your producers support you when you were nobody?"
My eyes filled with tears too. I lost all the courage, I couldn't accuse Matt, tell her the whole truth. Inspite of erverything it's her brother, I know how much she loves him and how much she would suffer for knowing the truth. I'd rather she was mad at me for now, and if he wanted, he could tell her the truth. It didn't matter anymore. She didn't believe me.
"Well Anne, I can see you're more disppointed with me than I imagined, I actually hoped you would believe me, but I came here to tell you two things, one of them is that I'm innocent, and I'm gonna prove this to you somehow, I just don't know how… not yet…"
I tried to wipe the tears, but they kept coming. I took a deep breath and went on…
"And the last thing, I got rid of that clause... actually I don't even have the contract anymore, and I got rid of Kim too... she also didn't trust me…"
She was trying to stop crying.
"While you don't confess, nobody will trust you..."
I felt disappointed, she didn't believe me anymore, as hard as I tried to convince her I was innocent. All of the sudden this trip, all this effort didn't make sense anymore. Even so, I held her, she didn't hold me back. When I let go of her, I stared at her.
"You'll understand someday..."
