Author's Note: This chapter includes both Thor and the Hulk! And, I just realized that my autocorrect has been changing Romanoff to Romanov. I'll have to go back and change that in the other chapters. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. Oh, wait, almost forgot-a lot of the chapter is in Tony's POV, so the characters are referred to using nicknames. Steve: Capsicle, Cap. Clint: Arrowhead, Male-Katniss, Merida. Bruce: Brucie. Thor: Goldilocks, Thor'eal. Loki: Rudolph. None for Natasha, though. I feel as if Tony would be too afraid to give her a nickname on the off chance she might get offended and decide to kill him.


"BROTHER!"

Tony's eyes widened dramatically when a yellow and red blur barreled into Loki, the sound of thunder booming in the distance. He shared a look of bewilderment with Bruce, who dropped the red formal gown he had been holding in shock.

When Loki went crashing through the window of a nearby hat store, Tony sighed in exasperation. Just when everyone managed to calm down enough to decide to give up on the shoes and move on to clothing, another distraction just had to show up. Granted, this would probably prove more entertaining than clothes shopping, but still.

"What's Goldilocks doing here?" Tony yelled over the sound of Thor spinning his hammer to gain momentum to his companions.

"You mean you didn't invite him, too?" Cap asked sarcastically.

"Nope. Brucie's all I need."

"Remind me let Pepper know that," Male-Katniss said.

"I'm sure she already suspected as much," the only female Avenger retorted, joining in on pick-on-Tony day as they watched Thor attack his brother ruthlessly. At some point, Loki had dropped the illusion of his suit, now decked in his usual armor- helmet and all.

"You guys got jokes today, huh?" Tony shot at them all, giving them a dirty look. "At least Bruce still loves me," he said, putting his arm around Bruce's shoulders.

"Tony, how many times do I have to tell you? I just...don't feel the same way about you that you do about me. You'll only ever be a friend to me," Bruce said pityingly, chuckling at the look on Tony's face.

Tony pushed Bruce away as if he had been burned, pointing accusingly at him, "Et tu, Brute?"

"Do you even know what that's from?" Capsicle asked, still watching calmly as the two gods fought for seemingly no reason.

"Yeah, some play by that one dude... William Shatner? No... Eh, whatever. I'm more of a science and math guy. I was never any good at English or history."

"William Shakespeare."

"Yeah, that guy!"

"Hey guys," Merida called to get their attention. Nodding to the still fighting brothers, he asked, "Do you think we should do something about them?"

"Well, I didn't think I'd need to stop a fight between two gods in the mall so I didn't bother to bring my suit. Any of you guys prepared to take them on?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's apparently frowned upon to walk around with a bow and arrows in public," Barton said with a shrug.

"I'm not much of a match for either of them without my shield, which I don't have with me."

Tony turned to Romanoff, "Got anything?"

"Actually, her weapons were confiscated by Fury when he put her on leave," Arrowhead answered for her, snickering behind his hand.

"Why?"

"She doesn't like to talk about it."

"Guess that leaves you, Bruce."

"Do I have to?" Bruce asked, reluctant to let the other guy out unless it was absolutely necessary.

"'Fraid so," Tony said, patting him on the shoulder.

"Wait," Barton said quickly, before Bruce could hulk out.

"What?"

"Just... Give them a few minutes. It's Loki's fault we're all out here in the first place."

They all met each other's eyes, nodding. They turned to watch Thor swing his hammer relentlessly at Loki, who kept trying to talk to the blonde god, who ignored his attempts. After a couple more minutes of this, Natasha said to Bruce, "You can go now."

Bruce didn't need to be told twice. Immediately, he felt the agonizing pain of his whole body swelling in size, his mind going blank as the other guy took control.

When the Hulk roared angrily, the humans backed away slowly, watching as he stomped his way to the gods. They took no notice of the giant figure (how that was possible, Tony didn't know), until he literally pulled them apart. He threw Loki into a Baskin Robins, and punched Thor harshly in the side, causing him to fly into the shoe store the group had been searching through a while ago.

The Hulk roared again, breathing heavily when Thor approached him slowly.

"I mean you no harm, Doctor Banner," the blonde said, holding up his hands in surrender.

"No...fight," the Hulk said, not understanding why he said it, just that Bruce had been adamant in getting the words out.

"I am sorry, but Director Fury has ordered Loki's arrest for the crimes he has committed today," Thor told him, feeling betrayed by his brother's actions. Their relationship may be shaky at best at the moment, but Thor really thought they were well on their way to how things used to be. To hear that Loki had gone back to his evil ways...

"What crimes?" Steve asked, genuinely confused. He had been with Loki for most of the day and didn't remember a single crime being committed.

"My friends!" Thor exclaimed happily when he saw the group approaching, smiling broadly. "You are all safe now!"

"I wasn't aware that we were in any danger," Natasha remarked.

"Has Loki messed with your heads again?" Thor asked, looking ready to attack again.

"Chill out, Thor'eal," Tony said, holding up a hunched over Loki, who had just managed to dig out of the tubs of ice cream with the help of Clint. "Loki didn't do anything to us."

"What? But... I do not understand," Thor said slowly. "SHIELD got reports that Loki was terrorizing all of you and keeping you hostage in this building of shops. The building was evacuated and I was sent in here to capture Loki. There are SHIELD agents surrounding the building, in case he tries to escape."

"The building was evacuated? When?" Steve asked in surprise, only just now realizing how utterly silent and empty it was apart from them. How did they not notice?

"They evacuated the building quite some time ago."

"Why didn't SHIELD check security footage to see what was happening in here before sending you in?" Clint asked, wondering why they went straight to such extreme measures.

"Whenever they tried, the screens blacked out with only the word 'KNEEL' appearing. We assumed it was the work of my brother."

"Oops." Tony sucked in a breath, giving everyone a lopsided grin when they looked at him. "Umm... It was supposed to be a joke."

"Well it wasn't funny," Loki snapped at him.

"I'm sorry, brother," Thor said sheepishly. "I let my anger get the best of me."

"Next time, listen to me when I try to explain myself."

"If you were not all being tortured by my brother, than why are you all here?"

"Oh, we were helping him pick out a Christmas present for Darcy," Steve explained.

"...That does not explain why people thought he was trying to kill you all."

"It was probably all of the arguing," Tony said. "We were having a hard time finding something to Rudolph's liking, so there was a lot of fighting."

"Yeah. Now that I think about it, the crowd did look really nervous," Clint mused. "We probably should have taken the time to calm them down instead of just ignoring."

"Did you find a present, then?" Thor asked curiously.

"No," Loki groaned. "Why must this stupid mortal tradition be so difficult."

"How about I call Lady Jane?" Thor suggested. "She may have an idea of what Lady Darcy might want."

The Hulk felt his eye twitch, Bruce's irritation flooding through him even more when Steve said, "That's actually a good idea. I wonder why none of us thought of that."

That was all the Hulk had to hear before he roared and turned on the rest of the Avengers.


AN: ah, the misunderstandings. Also, I don't blame the Hulk for attacking them. Oh, and Bruce's slight control over the Hulk will be explained later, it has to do with that theory Tony was talking about last chapter.