Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to post but I had to do a major revision on this part of the story….in order to take it in a slightly different direction in regards to Ruth's secret. Also wanted to thank all of my readers who have read this fic over on the Fox Site who are reading it again, I think the changes will help to keep it fresh for you:)

Chapter 29

After talking in the bedroom for a few more minutes, House, Cuddy and Wilson made their way out into the hallway, heading for the stairs that would lead them to the first floor.

Looking over at Cuddy who was walking beside him with the aid of her crutches, House smirked, "You do realize if your mother walked up here right now and saw us you would have a lot of explaining to do. Especially about how you managed to keep two men satisfied in your bedroom," he told her with amusement before shooting a smartass smile at Wilson.

Cuddy however was not amused with the comment, stopping at the top of stairs where she turned around and gave House a look that told him he had not only crossed the line ....but in fact ran over it with a Mack truck.

Seeing the expression on her face, Wilson took a step back from her, "Hey you're the one who was stupid enough to start sleeping with the guy," he said with smile, watching her narrow her eyes at him because of the remark.

"Oh come on Cuddy, lighten up." House said with a smile on his face, not about to back down or apologize for the comment…..especially not in front of Wilson.

Cuddy darted her eyes up to him, letting out a cold chuckle "You know what, you're right House….it could be sort of fun trying to keep two men satisfied at the same time." She said coolly keeping her eyes locked onto his before handing him her crutches and stepped up to Wilson, backing the surprised oncologist up against the wall as she placed her hand upon his chest.

"Cuddy….what are you doing?" Wilson asked nervously as he looked down into her smoldering slate grey eyes.

"Wilson …you know exactly what I'm doing." Cuddy purred in a sultry tone, letting her hand caress its way up from his chest to his jawline before moving her lips closer to his own until only the smallest fraction of space separated them.

House stood before them and stubbornly held his ground, his arm lopped around her crutches and his cane, his resolve as strong as harden steel.

That was until he saw Wilson gazing into Cuddy's eyes with a small smile forming on his face, as Cuddy produced a smile of her own, titling her head and closing her eyes just before their lips touched.

"All right …you proved your point!" House yelled as he pulled her away from Wilson, his right arm wrapping possessively around her waist to keep her steady as he pressed her against the front of his body.

"What's wrong? I thought that's what you wanted." Cuddy asked with a wickedly innocent tone as she stared up at him defiantly.

House gave her a scowl of disapproval, "Just look at you…..now you've gotten Wilson's germs all over your lips!" He said with disgust, rubbing his thumb across them before planting one hell of a kiss on her as he pulled her tightly against him, gripping his cane and her crutches in his left hand, causing her to let out a cry of surprise that sounded more like a moan as he made sure the curved top of his cane pressed firmly into her ass.

Watching them, Wilson touched his lips, remembering the fullness of Cuddy's lips upon his own and how soft they had been, his jaw dropping with shock when Cuddy upped the ante of the kiss she was sharing with House by biting his bottom lip as she slowly opened up her eyes, the passion held inside of them the kind thing any man would kill to call his own.

Feeling the slight tug on his lower lip from her teeth as she released it, House pressed his cane into Cuddy's ass a little harder, watching the flames shoot up in her eyes in reaction to it, "Don't ever do that again." He stressed with a low masculine tone to her, referring to the kiss she had initiated with Wilson.

"Don't' ever make me have to again …understand?" Cuddy responded back in a tone that was soft but clear in its meaning.

House nodded and handed her back her crutches, letting her go ahead of him as she made her way the stairs.

"God….. I hope you screw up…just one time." Wilson said patting House on the back as they stood on the landing and watched Cuddy's cute ass bounce down the steps.

"You know people die going down the stairs everyday." House warned with a dull tone that was just a little bit creepy.

"Point taken." Wilson said quickly, removing his hand from House's back before motioning him to go ahead of him.

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Driving back to Lisa's home, Bill glanced over at Ruth much like he had done during the entire ride, wanting to speak to her but holding his tongue for now as she gazed out of the windshield with a blank expression on her face.

After regaining consciousness, she had spoken but one word to him.

"Please" with a soft but urgent voice, making eye contact with him briefly before turning away.

The single utterance of the word had assured him that she had indeed come back to him, the look in her eyes however; telling him wherever she had been was not something she was willing to discuss with him…at least not yet.

Glancing back at the road, Bill made the last turn that would take them back to Lisa's place, his mind telling him that he needed to try and get Ruth to open up before they stepped back inside the house while another part of him argued that Ruth was the one who needed to initiate the conversation between them as he pulled up into the driveway.

Once Bill had put the car into park, Ruth felt the tightness in her throat return, looking out of the windshield in front of her with the realization that all the hopes she carried with her from Cape May of what could be repaired between herself and her daughter had been snuffed out within a blink of an eye by the old memory that would not let her be.

Keeping her eyes fixed forward, Ruth parted her lips, "I don't want Lisa to know about what happened to me today," she said softly, refusing to look at over at Bill even though she could feel his gaze upon her.

"Ruth," Bill said just as softly, "Lisa needs -"

"I said no!" Ruth interrupted with an aching in her heart, turning her head to look in Bill's direction. Refusing to let another tear fall down her cheek no matter how badly it wanted to.

Bill held her gaze while reaching for her hand, "Ruth…..Lisa is not a little girl anymore, she's a grown woman as well as a physician who would be heartbroken to know that you kept this from her," he reasoned.

Ruth shook her head, lowering her eyes in defeat, "You don't understand Bill. I can't let Lisa know about this. I've hurt her so much in the past by not being strong enough for her when she needed me to be and with all that's going on with her now…the last thing she needs to be doing is worrying about me."

Moving his hand to her face, Bill titled Ruth's chin up so he could look into her eyes once more, "Ruth, you are an incredibly strong woman and so is your daughter, and…..you owe it to Lisa to let her know what happened so she can try and help you, otherwise you're only going to end up hurting her all over again," he told her simply.

Ruth swallowed hard, trying to remain strong even though she felt as if she was being torn apart inside. Oh god how was she going to get through this? Bill was of course was trying to be supportive, having nothing but her best intentions at heart, but he didn't know what had happened to her all those years ago and she had promised herself a long time ago after death had taken her only confidant and keeper of her secret from her that no one else would ever know the truth..……especially not Lisa….especially not her child.

"Bill, I know you mean well, but ......I can't risk having another attack in front of Lisa. It would better for her if I left and went back to Cape May," she told him evenly as her defenses started to rise around her.

"Are you going to see a doctor when you get back to Cape May?" Bill asked her directly, knowing by all he had witnessed with her during this past week, Ruth had been playing a dangerous game with the emotions inside of her for a very long time.

Ruth took in a breath, unable to lie to him. "No." She admitted sadly, hating herself once more for being too weak to cope with the secret inside of her.

"Ruth, we all have secrets, some of them more frightening than others," Bill whispered to her sympathetically while continuing to look into her eyes, "but running away from this isn't going to solve anything. I know that you're afraid but you also have to know you are not alone. There are people here who care about you, first and foremost your daughter who thinks the world of you and if you let me….. I'd like to help you too." He offered, giving her the small reassuring smile she needed desperately at that moment.

Studying Bill's face, Ruth found nothing but truth residing in his eyes, reminding her of the trust she once had in others before it had been taken away from her, "Ok." She agreed tentatively with a nod, reaching down to the hopes inside of her that had been shattered, praying that somehow she would be able to find a way to make them whole again.

********************************************************

Inside the kitchen, House, Cuddy and Wilson were seated around the table, discussing Cuddy's upcoming return to work on Monday as well as her desire to tell her mother about her relationship with House.

"I just can't see keeping it from her any longer, my mom deserves to know the truth." Cuddy said to Wilson with an affirmative nod, resting her hands in her lap.

"Do you want me to leave when you Mom comes back so you and House can tell her in private?" Wilson questioned while his eyes traced the fullness of her lips and delicate curve of her nose.

Cuddy shifted in her seat next to House, thrown a bit off guard by the way Wilson had been looking at her ever since they had sat down at the table. "Quit staring at me like that……you're creeping me out," she demanded with a furrowed brow before leaning back in her chair.

House looked over at her and laughed, "Hey, after the way you threw yourself at him, it's no wonder Wilson's thinking about you naked right now," he told her with a smirk, squeezing her right thigh under the table.

"I was not thinking about your girlfriend naked. I was thinking about having sex with her…….naked." Wilson said with smile of his own, glancing down a House's hand while Cuddy rolled her eyes.

"Will the two of you please stop." Cuddy said with distain, watching House's smile fade as the door behind Wilson opened up with her mother walking into the kitchen followed closely by Bill.

Cuddy got up from her chair in an instant, "Mom, are you ok?" She questioned with alarm, shocked by the paleness of her mother's completion, the redness in her chestnut eyes telling her that she had been crying.

Ruth looked over at Lisa but didn't speak, her eyes darting towards House and Wilson…… their presence at the moment, very unnerving to say the least.

Sensing the panic threatening to take hold of Ruth once more, Bill walked pasted her and towards the men seated at the table, "I think Lisa and Ruth need a little privacy," he told them causally.

House glanced over at the two women, remaining seated as Wilson got up from his chair.

"Come on House." Wilson urged his friend with a pat on the shoulder.

House looked up at him before fixing his gaze on Cuddy and Ruth once more, going against everything in his nature by keeping silent and pushing himself up form the chair before reaching for his cane.

Lisa watched her mother's eyes follow the men as they made their way out to the living room, waiting until they were gone to speak, "Mom, what's wrong?" she questioned with ache in her heart, holding onto the counter as she took a step closer to her without the use of her crutches.

"I…." Ruth started to say as her bottom lip began to quiver, the secret inside of her sending a piercing sting of agony to her soul, the memories of the time when everything came crashing down around her in horrific brutality, hovering over her. Threatening to take her down with it at any minute as she tried with every ounce of strength she could muster to take that first unsteady step past it.

"Mom, please talk to me…" Lisa pleaded in a soft tone, closing the gap between them and reaching for her mother's hand.

Letting out a gasp as if she was fighting to breathe amidst a raging tide that was dragging her under, Ruth pulled her daughter into her arms, holding onto her child with all the love she had inside her heart, "I'm so sorry Lisa……I'm so sorry for all that I put you through after I found out about your father's affair," she whispered with aching regret, keeping the darker secret hidden for now.

"Mom …it's ok …that…that was a long time ago." Lisa said in a shaky voice, profoundly touched by the emotion in her mother's embrace, shaken by how deeply it was affecting her.

Pulling back from her slightly, Ruth moved her hand to her daughter's cheek, "You were always such a good girl," she said softy before kissing Lisa on the cheek as a single tear fell gracefully down her own cheek.

"Mom, what happened to you today?" Lisa asked with a worried expression, studying the defeated look held within her mother's eyes.

Ruth shifted her gaze to the floor, deciding at this point telling Lisa what had occurred without giving her the true reason behind it would be a safe step for her to take, lifting her eyes up to meet her daughter's gaze once more. "Lisa…..I had a panic attack today, in the car while Bill was driving and…it's not the first time I've had one," she confessed, feeling her heart break a little when she saw the stunned look overtake her daughter's face.

"How long have you been having them?" Lisa questioned with concern.

"For quite some time….ever since…," Ruth started to say before taking in a breath, "ever since I found out about the affair," she finished.

"You've been having panic attacks for over thirty years?" Lisa asked in an uneasy tone, the gravity of the situation now pressing heavy upon her chest.

Ruth reached for her daughter's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, while inside she was dying…this is exactly what she did not want to happen. "LIsa it's not what you think....they don't happen that often. In fact usually... I can go for years without experiencing them," she explained in a rather calm manner, trying to take away the worry written across her daughter's face.

"Have you spoken to your doctor about this?" Lisa questioned, pushing past the façade her mother had offered.

Ruth let out a dismissive sound, "Lisa, I'm fine…I've learned to live with it...I know it's an irrational fear….something left over from a very stressful time in my life…" she began to say.

"Mom…..I know." Lisa said softly, placing her hand upon her shoulder.

Ruth felt her heart sink into the bottom of her chest. "Oh god." She whispered in silent desperation, feeling the ground begin to buckle beneath her feet.

*******************************************************

Inside the living room of Lisa Cuddy's home, Wilson, Bill and House stood together in front of the empty fireplace, with Bill having just told Wilson and House the details of the panic attack Ruth had suffered.

"Are you sure you saw no neurological symptoms?" House asked, studying the expression on the old man's face carefully.

"No, her pupils were equal and reactive there was no sign of seizure and after rRuth egained consciousness I asked her all the standard questions." Bill stated as the physician within him came to the forefront.

"You know a tumor in the brain could cause what would appear to be a panic attack. Nerves getting increased pressure on them from the growing mass….." Wilson started to say.

"Spoken like a true oncologist, but I don't think Ruth is going to submit to a CT Scan anytime soon because the problem in her head has nothing to do with cancer." House replied with confidence, glancing over at his friend.

Bill studied House's profile before turning his head and looking back into the hallway behind him to make sure Ruth and Lisa were still in the kitchen, "House is right," he confirmed turning back around to face them, "just before Ruth fainted, she kept repeating the same phrase to me over and over again……saying.....he took it all away from me…more than once until she passed out," he explained to them with the worry for the woman he had fallen deeply in love with coming out in his tone.

House rubbed the stubble on his jaw, the secret Lisa had told him in confidence now needing to be revealed in order to try and help her mother, "Cud….." he started to say before taking in a breath, "Lisa told me that when she was twelve, her mother suffered a nervous breakdown after she found out her father was having an affair with his secretary. Apparently her reaction was so severe Ruth was admitted into Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital for a period of time," he informed them.

Bill immediately looked over at Wilson, knowing at this point the man would start to grow suspicious after House had chosen to use his boss's first name, the inflection in House's voice giving away his true feelings for Lisa Cuddy without hesitation.

"It's ok Bill..... I know about the two of them." Wilson stated simply, reacting to the expression of concern on the older physician's face before focusing his attention back to House, "Even though finding out about an extramarital affair can be a very stressful time in a person's life, Ruth hardly seems like the type of woman who would completely fall apart over a cheating husband," he stated placing his left hand onto his hip.

House nodded, looking over at Bill, "What do you think?" He questioned knowing the man before him was the one person Ruth seemed to trust without question at this point.

"I think something very painful happened to Ruth long before her husband had an affair, something she's never been able to get over." Bill answered back quietly,feeling a sudden heaviness fill air insde the room they were standing in.

********************************************************

"Mom, it's ok…..seeking medical help because of what you went through with dad is nothing to be ashamed of," Lisa said quickly after seeing the look of panic take over her face.

"Wha….when did you find out?" Ruth questioned with surprise, reaching for Lisa's shoulder while internally she breathed a sigh of relief as the darker secret she carried with her still remained hidden from view.

"Just before I left for medical school." Lisa confessed softly, hoping the revelation would not send another wave of anxiety through her mother.

Ruth lowered her head, unable to look at her daughter, "I'm sorry I never told you Lisa, I just felt so horrible about the whole thing and the fact that I failed you by not being the kind of mother you deserved to have," she whispered as the enormous weight of her guilt crashed down upon her.

Without delay, Lisa pulled her mother back into her arms, "Mom…you did the best you could. That's all any of us can do when life tries to knock us of balance…. and even though you may think you've failed me. I wouldn't be who I am today without you," she whispered sincerely, holding onto her mother tighter as she emphasized the last sentence.

Closing her eyes Ruth tried to believe her daughter….but the guilt of the passing decades at this point were proving to be too hard of an opponent for her mind to conquer.

Placing a gentle hand on the back of her daughter's head as they stayed locked in the embrace, Ruth took in a breath, getting ready to tell Lisa of the decision she had made out in the car with Bill before they had come inside, "Lisa…..after what happened to me today I've decided to that I can't stay here with you right now." She whispered quietly, hoping the tone in her voice would help to ease the sting of her words.

Lisa pulled away from their embrace, "Mom, you can't leave. I know you're afraid…but I can help you. In fact....House….House and Wilson and Bill ...we all can help you." she said in a rushed sentence that echoed of the girl she once was, who had been separated from her mother during that dark time in their past.

"Lisa, I'm not going back to Cape May, but Bill has offered to let me stay with him for a few days and that's what I'm going to do. I need some time sort this all out and I can't do that here." Ruth responded, taking hold of her daughter's hand.

"If you're worried about being alone....I don't have to go back to work on Monday, I can take some more time off to help you get through this…." Lisa pleaded, unwilling to let go of the closeness she had begun to feel with her mother that seemed to be slipping away from her now with every passing moment between them.

Ruth placed her hand upon her daughter's cheek, "Lisa, don't think this is because of you…..I …I can't be around you because of what I'm feeling right now. You are the one good thing that I can always turn to when I feel afraid.......you're my light honey...….and in your eyes I find the strength to go on. I don't want that to be tarnished by what I'm going through. Please just be patient with me. I promise it will only be for a few days." She requested as the need to protect her daughter from seeing the awful darkness within her resounded with every beat of her heart.

********************************************************

At that same time, past the Appalachian Mountains and down to where the Gulf of Mexico resided, Jeff tapped his carbon fiber pen against the wood of the cherry office desk he was seated behind in his executive suite at the Four Seasons, reviewing the pile of documents that were spread out in front of him with great interest.

Looking down at the old faded cover sheet inside the dog eared folder before him, his eyes scanned over the typed information that provided the preface for the secret that was held within it.

GREYSTONE PARK PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL

PATIENT NAME: RUTH ANN CUDDY

DATE OF ADMISSION: NOVEMBER 12, 1979

DATE OF DISCHARGE: DECEMBER 12, 1979

ATTENDING PHYSICAIN: DR HAROLD MACKLEY

DIAGNOSIS: POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME

After reading those words, Jeff turned the page that had been stained yellow by the hands of time, a musty odor filling his nose as he glanced down at the handwriting in black ink. Pleased to see that the penmanship of the nurses and hospital staff as well as the attending physician for the most part were still legible even after all these years……..

November 12, 1979

White female mid thirties admitted to GPPH at 11:30 pm…. arrived in a catatonic state accompanied by her husband …….

Patient is in a rigid fixed position….her arms placed against her chest and hands clenched into fists…

……husband states he found the patient in her current condition after he arrived home from work shortly before eight pm…..

November 18, 1979

The patient continues to show signs of depression with an unwillingness to open up to staff or her attending physician……she is often found huddled in the far corner of her room with a blank fixed expression on her face….after these events however the patient recovers quickly, denying that they have occurred….

November 20, 1979

...........in seeing this type of behavior in other patients I have treated in the past it is obvious to me this patient is in an extreme state repression over some traumatic event in her life…..the patient's constant need to maintain control …even if it means denial of her actions…. leading me to believe at some point in her life control was taken away from her and the will of another forced upon her…..I suspect the possibility of sexual, physical or mental abuse having taken place during early childhood or in the patents adolescence stage of her life….…

December 3, 1979

Patient still shows unwillingness to discuss the issues she is struggling with even after numerous psychiatric counseling sessions….while now portraying an impressive sense of well being and confidence in her appearance and mental outlook…… the patient reacts in a highly intellectual manner with the staff, at times making it hard to believe this was the same fragile woman who was brought to us in the first place….it is only when the patient is pushed by the staff to talk about her past….specifically her childhood.... when her demeanor becomes extremely defensive, unwilling to speak or make eye contact with staff members or her attending physician….her determination to keep the events of her life hidden, all encompassing to her at this point…….

December 12,, 1979

I have diagnosed the patient with post-traumatic stress syndrome and feel that she has lived with this disorder for years without proper diagnosis because of her ability to mask its symptoms until the severity of it was brought to the forefront after the death of her father a few months ago…...while I feel her father is a key to unlocking her past...the patient has remained oppoesd in opening up to me aobut him.....

In light of this, I have informed the patient's husband John Cuddy of my diagnosis while explaining to him that although his wife may show the appearance of making a full recovery from this disorder… it is in my opinion it will only a matter of time before she suffers another traumatic breakdown because of her refusal to address a disturbing event in her past..…

Based on this knowledge and the patient's unwillingness to commit to treatment I have recommended to the patient's husband that she remain with us at GPPH until she feels comfortable enough to speak about the events of her past but ….. as of 7:15 this morning I have been notified by Dr. Robert Conter the Hospital's Administrator at Greystone the patient's husband will be arriving tomorrow and that the patient shall be released from the hospital under his care…

This decision had been made by the medical director of GPPH…. Dr Franklin Walters who is a client of the patient's husband John Cuddy, a well known lawyer in the greater New Jersey area.

I am now stating as the patient's personal physician that I strongly disagree with this decision and feel we are releasing this patient with neglect to her well being. I can only hope that one day she will seed out the medical care she needs.

Harold Mackley MD

Jeff started to chuckle softly as he put the weathered document back down on the desk, reaching for the small stack of glossy black and white photographs that lay in a neat pile on the right hand corner of it, thinking to himself that money truly was a wonderful thing…the kind of thing that could resurrect secrets which were thought to have been buried a long time ago.

The kind of secrets he could use to his advantage in the game he was playing.

Sucking on the cold metal tip of the pen, Jeff looked down at the photo of Ruth Cuddy he now held in his right hand, studying the delicate features of her face and wondering if her skin felt as soft as her daughter's did…..if she carried the same sweet scent with her that he was now conjuring up in his memory.

"You know…..I really can't wait to meet you Ruth…." Jeff whispered down to the photo with a small smile, already thinking of the ways he would torture the beautiful woman before him with her past until she gave him what he wanted, content with the knowledge that by this time tomorrow he would be back in Princeton where he belonged.