Chapter 29
- Kate -
It was a remarkably pretty day. The sun shone softly on the prison yard. It lit up the long, yellow grass giving it a golden quality. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves in the trees and mercifully carried the smell of rotting walkers away from the prison.
Kate sat Indian style in the grass with Judith babbling happily on her lap. The good weather brought everyone outside and a crowd had gathered to watch the impromptu game of baseball that had evolved from Carl and Patrick playing catch.
Glenn, a baseball cap at home on his head, approached the piece of plywood they were using as home plate. He mimicked the moves of a major leaguer, tapping the top of the bat against the base and with a big smile pointed it towards the imaginary center field fence. Rick laughed and lobbed the pitch over the plate. Glenn swung and the metal bat made contact with a familiar clunk. It was a well placed line drive, more luck on Glenn's part than skill, that sent Zach diving for the ball. It sped past him and he hit the ground with an 'oof'. The ball rolled into left field and Chloe ran forward to meet it. She sent it sailing towards Carl at second base as Glenn came barrelling towards him. Her throw was high and Carl had to jump to try for it. It missed the top of this glove by inches and went rolling towards right field. Glenn laughed and easily made it to third. Maggie cheered loudly. Tyreese picked up the discarded bat and headed up to the plate. The outfielders all took several steps back. Tyreese was the undisputed home run king of the prison.
"Strike him out Rick!" A woman yelled from somewhere behind Kate and she turned bewildered towards the voice, surprised to find Becky cheering loudly. Becky had come in with a small group that Daryl and Glenn had come across about a month ago and up until this point she had seemed to be a quiet addition to their community.
Kate laughed and gave Judith a jiggle, "Think Daddy can strike him out Judy?" and then whispered in the little girl's ear, "Probably not."
Rick threw the ball and Tyreese swung at the first pitch, hitting it high into the outfield. Sasha caught it easily to make the third out, obviously happy to be the one to shut down her big brother. Rick jogged over to Kate before his at bat, kneeling down and giving Judith a playful tickle.
"Kate, you sure you don't want to play today?" He asked, and with a grin added. "We could use a taller second baseman. I'm sure we could get someone to take her."
"We're ok." She said, kissing one of Judith's soft cheeks.
"I could take her Rick." Becky offered, making her way over to them with an overly friendly smile on her face. "I would love to get to know baby Judith."
"It's ok, really." Kate assured them. "I don't really feel like playing today. Rick's been working me too hard in the garden these days. I need the rest."
Rick laughed. "Thanks for offering Becky." He said, turning back to Kate, "And thanks for taking her."
"No problem. We haven't spent enough time together lately."
Rick nodded and walked back towards the field, clapping his hands as Carl headed to the plate for his at bat. "Let's go Carl!"
"Go brother!" Kate cheered for Judith, waving the baby's tiny arms in the air.
It was true that she hadn't been spending as much time with the little girl since she'd been working outside, but Judith wasn't the only reason she wasn't playing in the game. For the last few days she had been feeling under the weather. She had been having headaches again, getting dizzy and didn't seem to have the energy she normally did. At first she thought she might be getting sick, although since the fall she couldn't recall any of them having even a cold, but when the usual symptoms didn't follow she started to worry. She was concerned that she hadn't completely healed from her concussion, although it had been weeks. She worried what that could mean and if she let her mind ruminate on it for too long she frightened herself with all the possibilities. She had been avoiding talking to Dr. S, she didn't want to concern Daryl unnecessarily.
She looked across the grassy field where he was standing off to the side with Hershel and Michonne. They had asked him to play, but as usual he'd refused. His arms were folded over his chest and he shifted from foot to foot as the three of them discussed something. Hershel kept one eye on the game, knowing they always had him make the call when plays were close. As if he could feel her gaze, Daryl looked in her direction and caught her watching him. He gave her a small smile. The couple of weeks since they had been married had been some of her favorite days with Daryl. He seemed to have this peace about him, he was smiling more and although he was the same 'rough around the edges' man he'd always been, there was a confidence there. She wished she could take the credit for the change, and maybe she should've, but she figured most of it was due to the fact that things had seemed to calm down around the prison. Their community was growing, plans were flourishing and life was being lived. The last thing she wanted to do was to burst that bubble by having him worry for what might be no reason.
Becky interrupted her thoughts by plopping down next to her in the grass. She reached out and ruffled the little fuzz on top of Judith's head.
"Mind if I hold her?"
"No, go ahead." Kate said with a smile, handing the baby over to Becky. The woman held Judith facing her and in a high voice people tended to reserve for small, cute things she cooed, "You're so adorable! You look just like your Daddy."
Kate cringed inwardly, but managed to not allow her face to betray her thoughts. Kate was quite sure Judith was Shane's, biologically at least, but Becky didn't need to know the family business.
"You think so?" She asked.
"I sure do." She answered in baby talk, inches from Judith's chubby cheeks.
Kate stared out at the field as Zach attempted to give Beth some batting pointers. Maggie looked at Kate from her spot in the infeld, pointed at the couple and stuck her tongue out. Kate snorted.
"You and Maggie real close?" Becky asked.
"Ya. We are. Our whole group is pretty close. That happens I guess when you go through so much together."
Becky nodded. "Our group had lost so many by the time y'all found us. My husband died at the very beginning. I fled our town with my neighbors. Thought Atlanta would be safe."
"I was headed there too. I'm really sorry about your husband." Kate said, looking Becky in the eyes and seeing the sorrow there. The thought of losing Daryl crossed her mind and a lump formed in her throat.
"Thank you. I miss him a lot, but so many others have lost spouses, children, whole families. I don't feel alone in it, you know?"
Kate shook her head. She didn't know a single person who hadn't lost someone.
"Still…," Becky continued. "You're lucky to have Daryl. This world is much scarier alone."
"I am very lucky to have found Daryl." Kate agreed. "I remember how it felt to be alone, I came into this group not knowing a single person. Just sort of ended up following Rick, thank God."
"Rick's a good man. I can tell." Becky said, watching him as he stood waiting for his at bat. "Raising two kids alone in this mess. I can't imagine."
David was pitching and threw a fourth ball outside, sending Beth to first. Rick walked up to the plate. After a couple wide throws, he swung, sending a grounder past Maggie.
"WHOO HOO!" Becky yelled out. Kate smirked, but Judith startled and let out a wail. "Oh I am so sorry." Becky apologized, handing the baby back to Kate. "I didn't mean to scare her."
"Don't worry about it, I'll just walk around with her a bit to distract her. It was good talking to you Becky" Kate stood and headed towards Daryl. Judith, happy for the change in scenery, stopped her fussing.
"Enjoyin' the game?" Daryl asked, reaching out to take Judy in his arms. She reached up and pulled at his whiskers.
"Yes, it's been amusing. I think Rick has an admirer."
"Ya think?" Daryl said, annoyance passing across his face. "That girls drawin' walkers from miles away with her screeching."
Kate laughed and glanced towards the fences at the always present crowd of dead pawing at the perimeter.
"Carol's out there again." Daryl gestured with his head.
Kate followed his gaze and they watched as she disposed of one walker after another.
"Wasn't she on watch last night? She should try and get some sleep or at least try and relax. Enjoy the day with the rest of us."
Daryl shrugged and shook his head. "Guess she's tryin' to stay on top of it." He reasoned, but she could hear the concern in his voice. They both had noticed something had been a little off with Carol lately. While the rest of them were settling into a routine here, trying to build a permanent life within the walls, Carol's obsession with survival only grew. Kate understood staying prepared. The Governor proved that they would never be safe in this world, no matter how well protected they thought they were. But if they didn't try to live, actually live, what was the point of surviving.
That night in the common room of C-Block, their smaller group gathered for dinner. With the community expanding and everyone going in different directions to fulfill their responsibilities, meals were normally taken when they could. Sometimes in the cafeteria, sometimes in the courtyard where tables and benches had been arranged around a BBQ spit and sometimes in the common room. But they gathered together, the eleven of them who were left, about once a week to have dinner as a family. It was important to all of them to maintain that bond. It wasn't just them. The Woodbury group still gathered among themselves, as well as the Decatur group and even the college kids. Everyone was trying to hold onto whatever sense of family they had, however tenuous. It was at one of these dinners that Hershel had announced, while Kate beamed and Daryl squirmed, that they had gotten married. Everyone had responded with such genuine love and support that even Daryl didn't mind the attention it drew.
This evening, as they'd finished their meal, Kate watched the group from her spot next to Daryl on the cement steps that led out to the yard. Carl stood acting out one of the plays from the game, while Beth moved around the tables gathering the plates. It was her night for dish duty and she was trying to get it done quickly so she could meet up with Zach. Zach hadn't been invited to one of their dinners yet, not because he wouldn't be welcome, but because Beth realized the significance it held and she just wasn't there with him yet. Maggie and Glenn sat close together laughing at Carl's animated reenactments. Glenn protesting when Carl insisted he got lucky when his line drive got underneath Zach.
"If Chloe hadn't overthrown it, I totally would have tagged you out at second!"
"Keep dreaming!" Glenn retorted.
Rick laughed, startling Judith who was nodding off to sleep in his arms. Michonne and Carol sat across from each other, deep in conversation. Carol making her point emphatically while Michonne nodded, her brows knitted together in concern.
Rick made his way over to the steps and he and Daryl began discussing their plans to snare some of the feral pigs they'd spotted about in the woods. Daryl had been working on a snare that could hold something that large and now they were hammering out the details of how they would go about trying it out. They knew they couldn't leave anything caught out there squealing for too long before the walkers would get to it, so they were planning on making a day out of it tomorrow.
The night wore on and the group went off in different directions. Beth headed out to meet up with Zach. Rick and Daryl left to do their typical perimeter check, neither of them comfortable enough to delegate that chore to anyone else. Kate headed towards their cell to get some reading in. Daryl returned about an hour later, he leaned his crossbow up in the corner and sat on their bed, kicking off his boots.
"You're up here early again." He remarked, laying down on the bed and turning his head to face her. She turned to her side, studying his face and resting her hand on his chest.
"Just tired."
"You ok?"
"I am." She smiled, slipping one of his buttons through its loop and moving to the next to convince him.
He let her undo them all, watching her as she pushed his shirt open and ran her fingers over his chest. He grabbed her hand with his and pulled it over her head as he rolled and positioned himself over her. He kissed her slowly and ran his hand down her side, her leg, before curling his rough fingers around the back of her naked knee and pushing it up towards her. She tugged his shirt off his shoulders, running her hands over the puckered skin of his back. He worked his mouth down her neck and she sighed.
The sound of knuckles rapping against their cell door interrupted them. They froze in silence, their eyes locked, hoping whoever it was would move on. Kate bit her lip to keep from laughing.
Knock knock.
"Daryl, are you in there?"
It was Carol. Daryl sighed, amusement fleeing his face.
"Ya. Whatta ya want?" He growled, still positioned over Kate who had knitted her brow in frustration.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Can it wait?" He replied, the irritation obvious in his voice.
"No, not really."
He looked at Kate, his expression matching the tone of his voice. He rolled off the bed, not bothering to put his shirt back on and moved to the curtain. He pulled it open a couple feet, but made no move to exit the cell. Kate watched from the bed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you weren't dressed." She said. Kate thought she sounded a little uncomfortable at the discovery.
"Ya need something?"
"I just wanted to ask you how well you knew Zach. If you trusted him?"
"That's what you had to ask me? That's what couldn't wait?"
"He has watch tonight and Beth is up there with him and I'm afraid maybe they'll be too distracted to pay attention. I wasn't sure if he could be trusted with the responsibility."
"Why don't you go ask him yourself?"
"I did. They promised me that it wouldn't be a problem. But you know how those things can go."
Kate heard Daryl sigh. "Well they ain't the first ones up there that have more on their minds than staring into the dark all night."
"I suppose." She said with a clip in her voice. They both stood there silent for a moment before Carol finally said, "Ok, well, good night Daryl. Tell Kate I'm sorry for disturbing you guys."
"Night."
Daryl pulled the curtain shut and turned towards Kate, concern darkening his features. He got back on the bed.
The next day, with Daryl gone on a pig hunt with Rick, Kate found her way to the infirmary to talk to Dr. S. She had been debating whether or not to go when she saw him that morning in the cafeteria. He had agreed to look her over.
The infirmary looked just like any other exam room she'd ever been in. She was surprised the first time she had been inside it. She didn't know what she thought it would, or should, look like, but she definitely thought it would be different in a prison.
"So tell me again, Kate, what's been going on?"
"I'm worried about my head. I'm still getting dizzy and having headaches. I just don't feel like myself still, I don't have the energy that I did."
"Have you hit your head again? Any loss of consciousness? Memory loss?"
Kate shook her head no.
Dr. S. examined her thoroughly, checking her balance by having her stand on one foot with her eyes closed for 20 seconds, her coordination with a simple finger-to-nose test and her cognitive skills by asking her to repeat the days of the month backwards.
"I feel like you've pulled me over for drunk driving." She joked.
"Not completely different, actually." He smiled as he jotted a couple notes down on his clipboard. Kate smiled, doctors even had clipboards at the end of the world.
"Any other symptoms?"
"No."
"When was the last day of your cycle? Any chance you could be pregnant?"
"NO." Kate said a little too forcefully. The idea hadn't crossed her mind and even the suggestion made her feel panicky.
"No, you can't be pregnant? Ok. So when was the last day of your cycle? Are you pretty regular."
"I am. I mean, there were some months there before we found this place where we weren't eating much and I think I missed a couple back then. But its regular now and I'm sure I'm not late." She stumbled over her words quickly, trying to do the math in her head, but she felt put on the spot and it wasn't like she was staring at a calendar everyday.
"Are you and Daryl careful?"
Her face blossomed red. She could feel the heat rise up to her skin. She knew he was a doctor and this was all human nature, but she was still so embarrassed.
"Yes. We are." She said. "I'm not pregnant. I know I'm not."
"Ok. Ok." He said, chuckling. He wrote a couple more notes down on his paper. "Well, everything checks out and I really don't think you are having any repercussions from the concussion. Although it isn't unheard of to have symptoms for weeks after a bad one. I obviously don't have the advantage of an MRI or any more advanced technology than the tests I can do here in this office, but I think we'll just keep an eye on it and if you start experiencing any additional symptoms or if they get worse, please let me know and we'll figure it out."
She slid off the table, suddenly wanting to be far away from this room or Dr. S.
"Thank you so much for your help." She said.
"No problem Kate. I'm happy to help."
She scurried away, nearly slamming into Becky on her way out the door.
"Oh sorry Becky." She said, over her shoulder, fearing if she stopped she'd get stuck there talking to the two of them longer.
- DARYL -
The sow was not happy with her new living arrangements and Daryl couldn't say he blamed her. One minute she was running free in the woods and the next she found herself caught in a snare and dragged back to live in a pen again. Rick and Daryl, on the other hand, were pleased that they had successfully managed to accomplish what they had set out to and even Daryl was wearing a wide grin. He stood in the middle of the pen, his gloves and pants covered with mud, and watched the pig tear around, running into the fence and trying to escape.
Excitement was hard to come by in the prison and any deviation from the everyday activities drew a crowd. The pen was surrounded by several people, curious about the new animal. Daryl was hoping that Kate would've heard that they were back and headed down, but she was nowhere to be seen.
Carl came down from the prison and stood next to his father alongside the crude structure that they had thrown together with chain link and wood pieces.
'Hey Carl," Daryl asked. "You see Kate around?"
Carl shook his head, but Becky, who was buzzing around Rick again, spoke up.
"I saw her earlier in the infirmary. She was talking to Dr. S."
Daryl looked confused, "Dr. S? What for?" He asked, wiping the sweat of his forehead with the back of his gloved hand and eyeing her with his typical Dixon scowl.
Becky shrugged and suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I'm not sure." She said. "She looked ok. Do you want me to go find her?"
Rick and Carl watched Daryl closely.
"Naw. I'll go up and check on her." He replied, already moving to climb over the fence. "You got this Rick?"
Rick nodded and climbed in. Daryl tugged his gloves off, stuffing them into his back pocket before heading up to the courtyard to wash up. His mind was racing, trying to think why she would be in the infirmary. It probably had nothing to do with her, she was probably helping someone else. Maybe one of the kids needed something or she had a question about Judith. Still, he would feel better when he could check in with her himself.
He walked into their cell and found her laying on their bed, her face buried in her pillow.
"Kate?" He called her name quietly.
She looked up at him, her face red and her eyes puffy. He moved quickly to the bed, pushing the hair that had stuck to her face back.
"What's wrong, darlin'?" He asked, terror grabbing hold of him, but trying to seem calm.
"I'm pregnant." She wailed.
He stood quickly. "What? How? Are you sure?" He paced back and forth in the small space that wasn't filled up with their bed and fought the instinct to run. She sat up, folding her legs underneath her and putting her face into her hands.
"I don't know. I don't know how it happened. I took a test." She gestured to a piece of white plastic sitting on the milk crate next to their bed. He eyed it, but didn't pick it up. He didn't know the first thing about those things and it felt like something he wanted to keep his distance from. A million thoughts were running through his head - all of them heavily distorted with absolute terror. He worried about Kate. He thought about Lori. He tried to picture himself with a child and couldn't. He thought of his father. He thought about the dead that surrounded their home. He thought about the fact that they lived in a prison. He thought of the Governor. He thought about how he had done this to her. He knew he should say something. Tell her it would be ok. Maybe he should lie and say he was happy. But she knew him too well and they'd talked about it. Neither of them wanted this.
"Are those things ever wrong? Did Dr. S say you were?" His voice didn't sound like his own. These weren't questions he should be asking.
"I haven't been feeling very well." She said, her voice thick. "I thought it was from the concussion. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to worry you."
He shot her a hurt look. He wanted her to be able to tell him anything.
She caught the look and faltered a little, but continued.
"He said I seemed fine and he asked if I could possibly be pregnant. I told him no. I was sure I couldn't be. But I started trying to figure things out, when I'd last had my period and I couldn't remember exactly..."
He turned towards the wall, and waved her off. Hoping she'd spare him these details. He could share his body with her, she could share her's with him, but he was still uncomfortable talking about this stuff.
"I asked Maggie if she had a test. I knew they'd had a scare before and wondered if maybe she had more. She did and I took it and I'm pregnant."
"So Maggie knows?"
"No, I mean, she knows I might be. I didn't tell her it was positive."
"How did this happen?" He asked again. "We were careful"
He sat on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands.
"I don't know. Things happen I guess. I'm so sorry."
He looked back at her. "Don't be sorry. I'm sorry. You don't have to be sorry for nothin'"
They laid in their bed as the light of day slipped away. They went round and round trying to make sense of it, trying to find a place where they could both be ok with it. Before she had fallen asleep she had told him she was scared. He had told her they would figure it out. That it would be ok. He hoped it made her feel better. He hoped she couldn't tell that he had never been so afraid in his entire life.
