The Chapter Without A Name


"But why Dante?" Katara asked, trying hard to keep the plaintive exasperation from her voice.

"Why not?" Zuko countered fervently. "It means 'enduring'. That's apt, isn't it?" His eyes shone.

"Well, I suppose..." she conceded, "but let's just try to think of some other names first, okay?"

"I just wanted something cool," Zuko pouted.

"We'll put it in the 'to be considered' pile." Katara patted his hand placatingly. "Besides, we need to think of girls' names, too."

"Dantella?" Zuko suggested hopefully.

"I was hoping for something a little more…traditional."

He sighed. "Well, if it's all the same to you, I'd like to avoid the 'Azu' line of naming. It doesn't seem to work out too well for my family."

She nodded emphatically. "Done and done. Here, we should look through these suggestions from our families and friends."

"What?" Zuko's eyes widened at the box at his wife's feet. "You're kidding me, right?"

"We have to indulge them, at least. I'm not saying we should actually listen to any of them."

Knowing the duty couldn't be avoided, the young Fire Lord tiredly reached for the box. "I bet Azula doesn't have to do this," he muttered.

"Oh, she does," Katara put in, "but you know Azula. I mean, when has anyone ever been able to make a suggestion to her that she'd accept?"

"Is that your way of saying she set her box of baby names on fire?"

"She's gotten more creative, actually. She shredded them up and made toilet paper."

"Damn. Wish I had thought of that."

Katara drew a letter. "Look, here's a list from Aang's old Fire Nation school."

"Wait, he went to a Fire Nation school?"

"Just for a couple of days. Isn't it nice that the children are getting involved?"

"That depends," he peered at the list with a quirk of his lips, "on whether you think 'Swamp Breath Poo-Poo Head' is a good name."

She grimaced. "I'll tell them thanks, but no thanks."

Zuko opened another letter and stared. "How do you feel about 'Kimchi'?"

"We're not accepting suggestions from the Cabbageman," Katara said flatly.

"Wasn't planning on it." He crumpled up the sheet.

"Huh. This one has a kind of funny spelling," Katara said.

"What is it?"

"P-H-U-C Y-U-U."

"Jet," Zuko growled.

"Actually, it's from Song."

"Oh." He plucked the letter from her hand. "I should probably get on returning her ostrich-horse at some point."

"You still haven't paid her back?"

They went through scores of other name suggestions, sorting them into piles of "No," "Hell, no," and "Are you insane?"

It seemed their family and friends all had rather strange ideas or morbid senses of humor. About half of the suggestions were "Li" and the other half were mostly either "Mary Sue" or "Bryke", though that last one seemed to have come from left field. Really, who would name the child of Fire Lord Zuko and Fire Lady Katara something as ignoble as "Bryke"?

"It's not as though we have to decide right now," Katara assured her frowning husband when they'd nearly emptied the box and had three huge piles of terrible suggestions. "When the baby's born, inspiration will strike. I know a little girl named Hope who was named on the spot after Aang."

"Uh-huh. And maybe we should name our kid 'Destiny' or 'Yinyang' or something equally as dumb." The Fire Lord rolled his eyes.

"Don't be so negative. Here's one last one." She handed the list to him.

Zuko looked at the names, tilting his head in interest as he tested them out loud. "Maiko, Jetko, Toko, Jinko..."

The Fire Lady wrinkled her nose in distaste. "They sound like the names of herbal laxatives."

"I dunno…" He rubbed his neck. "I'm kinda partial to Maiko. It sounds fierce, masculine, devoid of soul—"

Katara's dull, flat stare shut him down.

He sighed. "Fine. Into the 'hell no' pile it goes."

But instead of dropping the list, Zuko surreptitiously pocketed the note. After all, Maiko would make a great name for the two-headed viper-dog he was having bred in the kennels for the imminent attack on Fadmon.


I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself... 8 D