"What do you mean you're leaving?!"

"Irelia, please, keep your voice down."

After all, they were in Riven's room for a reason, and that reason was some much needed privacy. Unfortunately, the reason they needed privacy wasn't sexual.

Riven would have much preferred that, even if Irelia was unreasonably hot when she was angry. Maybe they could have sex afterwards, if Irelia was up for it.

Probably not though. After all, Irelia looked absolutely miffed at Riven at the moment. Regardless of her current feelings, she relented to the exile's request as to not attract attention. "What do you mean you're fucking leaving?" she seethed under her breath disbelievingly. "Is this some kind of joke? Because I'm not finding it funny. You promised, you fucking promised," she whispered, voice cracking with emotion and betrayal. "You said you weren't going to… No, you can't leave me. Not now, not after they—" Tears were beginning to become visible in the other's eyes, and she was unable to finish her sentence. Breaths she did not need to take were unstable.

Riven was starting to feel regret towards her decisions. This probably wasn't the best time to have this conversation. A few moments ago, Irelia had told Riven that she had an audience with the High Council earlier (which was why Kayle was looking for her) and that they had informed her that Zelos was finally found. Dead, that is. By now, it's been so long since his death they had to run tests to confirm it was him.

Yes, this wasn't the best time to be having this conversation. Not at all. Riven should have known better than to have brought it up when Irelia asked if she was still going to stay by her side, looking for comfort from her girlfriend.

Comfort, she did not get. But telling the truth, that was the Ionian way, was it not? She hadn't expected Irelia to be this upset about it. Upset, yes, but not this much.

"I'm not leaving you," Riven explained slowly, trying to justify herself. "I would never even dream of it. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Irelia. I just need to leave the Institute for—"

"For what?" Irelia snapped angrily, interrupting the exile. "The ridiculous presumption that you can single-handedly change a corrupt Noxus into an ideal and perfect society where they don't betray their own kind? Noxus has and always will be a terrible nation filled with brutish people that are somehow even worse than the place they call home. Nothing you do can or will ever change that fact, Riven. No one is strong enough for that, not even you."

Riven's face visibly hardened at her words, and Irelia had realized too late she had been too harsh and had struck a nerve.

"Riven, I—"

"Get. Out," she growled dangerously, scowling.

Irelia winced slightly. "Riven, please, I was just—"

Riven didn't want to hear it.

She let out an unrestrained scream, unable to hold it back any longer. Irelia flinched at the sudden loudness, taking several steps back as she watched her girlfriend completely lose her temper. Riven grabbed a chair nearby and smashing it against the wall out of anger, breaking it completely on the first swing. Irelia just stood there, paralyzed by shock and fear, unsure of what to do.

Riven looked around the room for other things she could take her anger out on. A pillow? Too soft. The couch? Too large.

She settled for punching a hole in the wall instead.

Feeling somewhat more satisfied now that she destroyed some stuff in her rage, Riven turned her attention back to Irelia, who was suddenly unable to meet her eyes. The Ionian had an unreadable expression on her face as she left the room, quietly excusing herself, not bothering to close the door on her way out.

And so Riven was alone once more, the air silent apart from her quickly retreating footsteps.

Well, so much for sex tonight. Riven was feeling very frustrated, and she didn't know what to do now.

Riven lightly kicked at the shattered remnants of the chair out of frustration, her body unreasonably tired all of a sudden.

God, she hated the silence. It reminded her of the time she was in the hospital, when she had first began to interact with Irelia.

She hated it because it made her feel weak.

But she wasn't weak. She was strong, the strongest there was.

That's all that mattered. That's all that ever mattered to her, to Noxus. Strength. It was the most important thing there was.

But Riven couldn't stop herself from bursting into tears because she wasn't strong enough, and she knew it.

Strength…

That's all that had mattered to her, that used to be the most important thing there was.

Was…

But that all changed when Irelia entered her life, didn't it? Even Riven couldn't deny it. Irelia came into her life, and Riven hasn't been the same since. Irelia had become her source of strength, but she somehow became her weakness at the same time.

And now? Now, she made her leave without a resolution to their verbal dispute, and now Riven was left feeling empty and even worse, weak.

All because of love. Riven had heard stories of how that one feeling could be empowering, yet shatter someone completely. She never knew how or why; she still doesn't.

She understands though. Irelia must too.

All this time, she was only thinking of herself. She always had to, in the past.

But she would no longer live in the past now that she had a future to work for.

It was Irelia.

Riven's hands formed clenched fists.

The feelings she gave her, the feeling of belonging, of being whole—

She would not let it go to waste. She had to make things right, starting with the love of her life.


Calloused fingers twiddled absentmindedly as she waited in the seating area.

Soraka said she would only take fifteen minutes or so to finish up an appointment, but the wait felt like hours so far. How long has it been?

She looked up at the clock on the wall and it's been three minutes since she last checked (which was when she started waiting).

Three. Fucking. Minutes. Was the damn clock broken?

It had to be. She's been here way longer than a few fucking minutes. But that was fine. Everything was fine. She could wait. She waited all day to calm down before she decided to pay Soraka a visit. Not like she had anything better to do. Not like she could even focus on doing anything else right now anyway.

She needed this. Talking with Soraka always made her feel better. Soraka should be able to give her some advice. She needed some. Desperately. Relationships were never her forte, especially romantic ones. Soraka was probably better with this stuff than her. Her relationship with her boyfriend was probably not as troubled as Riven and Irelia's relationship. Probably. Last time she saw Varus, he tried to kill her, which Soraka didn't take too kindly to. Besides the uncontrollable rage he feels towards Noxians causing him to give in to the urge to murder her on sight and his ignorance about Soraka's true feelings about bananas, Riven didn't know about too many problems the couple had with each other. That was probably for the best though. After all, Riven wasn't the therapist here. It was Soraka.

Which is why she's visiting Soraka right now. Or will be. Because she had problems. A lot of them. Most of them involving Irelia now. Or at least, those were the ones on her mind at the moment.

She glanced at the clock. Two more minutes had passed apparently. Fucking—


The door to Soraka's office finally opened when her ass was starting to feel numb, and Riven got up and out of her seat—

And out walked Irelia from the room, appearing to be far more calm than Riven was feeling at the current moment.

Irelia simply ignored her presence, brushing past the shell shocked Noxian exile like she wasn't even there.

For some reason, that made Riven feel a little hurt. More than a little hurt, actually. She felt very hurt. She probably deserved it though. She—

"Riven?" Soraka called out, gesturing for her to come in. "It's your turn."

Riven nodded, pushing away the thoughts in her mind, taking one last glance at Irelia as she left before entering the other room and plopping down on a plush couch. Near it, she could see that the trash can was nearly completely full of used tissues.

She really hoped she wasn't the cause of them. She knew she was.

Soraka sat back down in the chair behind her desk, shuffling around some paperwork. "Normally, I'd adhere to the medical confidentiality rule that's set in place, but I'm pretty sure you're here for the exact same reason your significant other just came in for an emergency visit for," Soraka said, and the exile could hear the exhaustion in her voice.

Riven's mouth felt devoid of moisture for some reason, and she found it slightly difficult to speak. "I'd, uh, assume so too." An awkward dry cough to clear her throat.

"Well then, why don't we start by discussing how you feel right now." Soraka leaned forward, resting her chin on folded hands.

"Well, I feel… conflicted," she began, and Soraka nodded slightly, urging her to continue.

Continue, she did not. She just fidgeted in the seat, clearly uncomfortable. Soraka sighed.

"What exactly is it that you're conflicted about, Riven? I can't help you if you don't explain anything."

"Irelia," Riven answered, like that explained everything, like that was all Soraka needed to know to understand. In her mind, it was.

It wasn't enough for the Starchild though. "Riven," Soraka said, exasperated. This was just like when Riven first started seeing her and completely refused to explain anything. Riven wasn't one to open up easily, especially since she wasn't very good with words. "You know I'm still not a mind reader. Please elaborate on why Irelia has you feeling conflicted."

"We had a fight. Well, not really a fight. An argument, I suppose would be the word for it." A hesitant pause. "I know this sounds stupid, but she hurt my feelings," she said, feeling a little foolish.

Soraka frowned. "It's not stupid, Riven. Your feelings are valid, but in the past few years that I've known you, I noticed that you're not one to pay attention to how others feel around you."

"I get that a lot." Riven wasn't sure how she felt about that though. She didn't feel great about it, that's for sure.

The healer's frown deepened. "That's not a good thing, Riven. You seriously need to improve your social skills."

Riven swore she heard Soraka mutter, "Both you and Irelia," underneath her breath.

She wasn't that bad at talking, was she? She wasn't a people person, yes, but she earnestly thought that she was better at socializing and communicating than what others have been saying. "I thought I was improving a lot," she commented lamely.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. You are improving a lot, but that's because you started off at nothing. The bar was on the floor, Riven. Now it's much higher."

Ouch. Riven almost felt a little offended, even if she knew it was true. She really messed things up this time, huh?

Soraka simply sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She took a deep, calming breath before continuing to lecture the exile. "Look, I'm sorry if I'm being a little too harsh. It's been a long day. My point is that you need to be more considerate of other people's feelings, Riven. Otherwise, you're going to drive them away."

Riven looked down at her feet. "I think I already have," she mumbled, remembering Irelia's reaction.

Soraka gave her a look of pity. "Oh, don't be so harsh on yourself, Riven. Irelia already forgave you for deciding to leave the League. She's just upset, understandably so. While she wants the best for you, what's best isn't always going to make her happy."

"She… she did?" Riven was surprised. Irelia didn't seem like she had forgiven her already. She felt like the Ionian woman didn't want anything to do with her.

Soraka nodded. "Irelia has forgiven you for a lot of things, hasn't she? You shouldn't be so surprised."

"I suppose, yeah… Still, I didn't think she'd forgive me this fast."

"Irelia herself might not even be aware of the fact that she has forgiven you already, but I can tell she has, even if she doesn't know it yet. She's stubborn, but she cares a lot about you. We all do. She's just afraid of losing you."

"I don't want to lose her either."

"Then what are you still doing here? Go to her. Go and tell her how much she means to you."

Riven nodded, moving to get up before an idea popped into her head. "Wait, what if I show her instead? Show her how much she means to me, and that I don't ever want to lose her."

Soraka quirked an eyebrow at her, curious about what Riven had planned. "I suppose that could work. What do you have in mind?"

Riven stared into Soraka's eyes with the most conviction she's ever had in her life.

"I want to propose."