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Chapter Twenty Nine: Marie
CPOV
She was so lovely, her lithe silhouette stood beautifully against the pristine background of the cool mountain lake. I would almost be content just to sit here watching her forever, almost. "So, what do you think of my first New World home, eh?"
"It's beautiful, breathtaking and I love it, but," she stopped and looked out over the lake, frowning.
"But?" I prodded, curiosity winning out over my own foreboding.
"It's so quiet and peaceful here, there's not much to distract me from feeling sorry for myself, I'm afraid." She picked up a stone and managed to make it skip four times across the glassy surface of the water.
The sun had fallen behind the horizon and I knew that Jasper and Alice had most likely returned from their hunt. That would mean the couples were together for the night and I didn't want to subject myself or Bella to the symphony of lustful distractions they were most likely engaged in right now. "See that peak over there?" I pointed to a snow capped mountain just across the lake. Following my direction with her eyes, she nodded, "The view from up there is astonishing, want to go?"
"Now?" she hesitated, frowning, "It's dark."
"So? In case you haven't figured it out, we function as well in the dark as we do in the light, we just don't glow as much."
"You mean we glow in the dark?" she smiled craftily at me.
I smirked back at her, daring to move closer to her as I lowered my voice, "In fact, we do if the moonlight is strong enough, our skin even shimmers." Her astonishment was clearly mirrored in her expression.
"Edward never showed me that, I guess."
"Maybe he did, and you just don't remember. Many of us lose most of our human memories after the change, it's not uncommon Bella."
She moved to sink her feet in the soggy lake bank, frowning deeply at that thought and finally she said, "That's been worrying me, Carlisle. I remember Charlie and Renee, and I even recall bits and pieces of school. But, it's getting so hard for me to recall my time with Edward. I mean, I recognize him and all, and I remember that we were in love, but, it's all getting so blurry, and now without him here.." she stopped and just shook her head sadly.
I guessed she was not intending to go on, so I spoke up, "Bella, I have to tell you something about us, I mean Vampires as a species. You know that we don't change, at least, not often. When a change comes, it's rare and permanent. Edward told you this, yes?" She nodded to confirm my question. "But, just because a vampire might fall in love like this permanently, it doesn't necessarily mean the object of his affection will do the same with him.. or her."
"Carlisle, are you saying I wasn't in love with Edward?"
"No, I'm not saying that at all. I know you were very much in love with Edward, Jasper had confirmed that for you on many occasions already. What I am saying is that Edward died before you became a vampire and therefore you were not given the opportunity to make that change for him. As much as you loved him while you were human, and as much as that love carried over into this existence, you were never mated to him as the vampire you now are. I'm sorry to tell you, but the memory of your relationship is going to fade.
"Rosalie can tell you how you can try to hold onto your human memories, if you wish. Personally, I have very little left of my human life memories. Slowly but surely, they've slipped away from me through the years. I believe it's yet another way our body makes us move on with time, Bella."
Her lovely face crumpled and her shoulders began to heave and I could see she was sobbing. I moved to gather her into my arms, to comfort her my only aim, "Shh, beautiful. There, there please don't be sad. I hate to think that if had you changed for him and Edward then sacrificed himself for you, you would now be driven to seek revenge just as Victoria was. Or you might not have been satisfied until you found your own destruction in some other way. As it is, we all feel fortunate that you've survived to stay with us." I stroked her hair gently and kissed her forehead as her cheek laid against my shoulder.
Abruptly, she grasped my shirt tightly with her small fists and pushed away from my chest to look me squarely in the eyes with an expression of sudden concern clouding her features, "Oh Carlisle, I'm so sorry for you, I mean Esme.. I.. I hope you're not going to leave us, are you?"
I sighed heavily, pondering what to say so she would understand, "No. I'm not planning on leaving, not ever."
She wiped her dry eyes and sat up to look at me curiously, "I'm glad you're not leaving Carlisle, honestly I don't know what we'd all do without you, but.. "
"Yes?" go on girl, ask.
"Are you not feeling the drive to destroy yourself now, without Esme here, I mean?"
"No, Bella.. I'm not."
"I'm relieved, Carlisle, really I am, but.. I don't understand.." I held up my palm to let her know I was ready to explain myself.
"No, sweetheart, I'm not driven like that." She gave me a perplexed look and cocked her head at me with a furrowed brow, that begged for an explanation, so I continued, "Because even though my beloved Esme was my partner, my wife and my lover.. for over eighty years, she was never my soul mate. You see, I'd made that change for someone else long before I married her."
BPOV
To say I was stunned at Carlisle's revelation would have been a gross understatement. I would have bet everything I'd owned on Carlisle's love for Esme and her love for him as being the epitome of soul mates matching their hearts. I was certain even Edward had thought they were soul mates. "I don't know what to say. Um, is your soul mate still.. around?"
He smiled at me, "Yes she is, but she's in love with someone else." The sadness in his eyes almost moved me to the tears I could never shed. My heart ached for him,"Oh, Carlisle, I'm so, so sorry! How awful for you all this time. Do you want to talk about this?"
"No, not really."
That was enough for me, I was quick to change the subject, "OK, how about I take you up on your promise and tell you about my transition dream now?"
He took a deep breath, "I'd actually like that very much."
I pondered where to start. "When Victoria...when I saw Edward lose his head, I must have started to faint because everything around me started spinning. The last thing I remember on the mountain, was Victoria coming towards me. I must have blacked out because I woke up in a hospital bed and not the one you set up for me in Forks. The hospital I found myself in was totally unfamiliar to me, and guess who waltzed through my door shortly after I came to?" I smiled at him.
"The tooth fairy?" he grinned.
"See? You said you wouldn't laugh at me, Carlisle and already you're making fun." I put on a fake pout.
"Oh, OK. Sorry. Who?"
"You."
"Really?"
"Really, really. Call me crazy, but I swear I lived with you in 1917 Chicago for more than eleven months before you changed Edward. As impossible as it seems, I can tell you anything you'd like to grill me on, where you lived, your next door neighbors, even your favorite brand of pipe tobacco." I had to laugh at myself, "It was like I actually lived an entire year in those three days of burning. I met Edward as a human and married him. I even got pregnant with his child."
"How did the delivery go?" Carlisle's smile was kind, but not jolly.
I stopped still for a few moments, then spoke slowly and deliberately. I was more than a little taken aback at Carlisle's tone and method of framing his question. "I don't know. I never made it out of the hospital, I was in the lobby when my water broke. I must have lost consciousness and then I woke up here in your house, so - I've no idea." I shifted my body weight nervously and leaned towards him a little before I asked, "Do you know something about this Carlisle?"
"No, that's why I asked."
Okayyy, Bella, wrong question, try again carefully this time. "Do you have anything to tell me, Carlisle?"
He reached into his back pocket for his watch and flipped it open, "It's three thirty four a.m., See?" He handed me his pocket watch and I gasped as I read the inscription plainly engraved on the inside lid:
Forever
B.
I couldn't believe my eyes. The watch I'd given to Edward for Christmas, in 1917 was in my hands. I turned it over and over as though it were a figment of my imagination somehow made real. If I were able to form tears, they would have been pouring down my cheeks by now. "How?" I managed to squeak out at him.
"I told Edward the 'B.' was for Betsy, his mother, that it was a present from her."
"Why would you do that Carlisle?"
"Because, Bella - Edward remembered nothing of you after the change. I knew you told me he wouldn't, but I just couldn't believe that would actually be the case. Still, when he finished the burning, it became obvious that you were right, his gift was such a heavy burden it distracted us both for years. I didn't see any point in compounding his suffering by making him wait for you all those years." He mumbled something I didn't catch after that... but I ignored it for the moment, since he obviously didn't really want me to hear it.
"I was really there?" I was shaking with disbelief, "How could that be, Carlisle?"
He shook his head, "I don't know sweetheart, it's the strangest thing I've ever witnessed. But, I've had almost ninety years to speculate, if I had to guess, I would say it's your legacy."
"Legacy?"
"What we each bring with us from our previous human existence, like Edward did with his mind reading ability, is called a 'gift'. But, when a gifted vampire sires a newborn, they can sometimes pass on their gift, or a form of it, to their progeny. That is referred to as a 'legacy'. In your case, I am guessing that your ability to time travel may be connected to your sire's ability to escape difficult or painful situations in this reality. But, we would need to consult with Eleazar about that to be sure."
"Eleazar?"
"Yes, he's an old & dear friend of mine and a member of our extended clan, the Denalis, who live in Alaska. I believe Edward might have mentioned them to you?"
"Possibly, probably, can't remember - right?" I reminded him as I tapped my temple with my finger.
"Ah, yes, right. Well, his 'gift' is that he's able to identify 'gifted' vampires and see what those hidden talents are. He served with the Volturi for many years. As you can imagine, his services were highly prized by Aro."
"Yes, I do remember some things about my human trip to Italy, Aro being chief among those." I'd once raced to Italy, and with Alice's help, barely managed to save Edward from offing himself. Some of the details were fuzzy, but the names and faces of all the Volturi I'd met were somehow firmly embedded in my memory. "So I didn't imagine any of it?"
"No, not unless I did too, but I'm fairly certain that's not the case."
"Well, besides the watch.. did you keep anything else tangible from my.. visit?" I squeaked.
"Not exactly."
"Spit it out Carlisle, what aren't you telling me?" I could see he was hedging.
"I will tell you, Bella.. but it's as difficult to say as it is to hear so, I'd like to hold you while I do. Would that be OK?" He barely whispered his request.
I nodded and scooted over to sit in his lap. Once he wound his arms around me, my back pressed tightly, but comfortably into his chest. I closed my eyes as Carlisle began to speak softly into my ear, "I couldn't be there for the delivery, Bella but I still had friends at Cook County, who kept track of your baby."
I panted, "My baby? Edward's baby?" My chest was swelling, there was a real family of mine out there? "Did you, did you tell Edward about the baby?"
"Not exactly. But he did help me keep tabs on her over the years."
"Her? What was her name, Carlisle?" I was trying desperately not to squirm while his arms squeezed me to him like an iron vice.
"Her name was Charlene Marie Monroe."
"Monroe? As in Monroe, Mathis and Masen, LLC ...Monroe?"
I felt him smile against my cheek, "Yes, I had Herbert contacted by the hospital and as the trust fund manager, he took care of your baby. First as an obligation, but ultimately he loved her like a father. She had a very good life."
"Edward never knew he was a father? How could you not tell him, Carlisle? You knew how important.. " I was immobilized... for a moment, that name was familiar, "Wow, that's an odd coincidence!" I frowned over my shoulder at Carlisle, "I was named after my great grandmother whose name was Charlene Marie."
I felt him tighten his grip on me a little, it was almost becoming uncomfortable when he spoke lightly into my ear, "It's not a coincidence, Bella.. she was Charlie's Grandmother."
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