BPOV
I sighed, looking over my shoulder at Edward. Dad was sitting next to him, patting his back. When we'd arrived at the rehab facility, Edward started teetering on the edge of not wanting to be anywhere near this place. Once he'd seen Jasper, sitting at the table in the visitor's room, his hand on my elbow stopped me.
"I go ova there and I'm gonna lose it," he gritted out.
"Then I'll go talk with him," I soothed.
"Yar not goin' alone, Bella."
"How about this," Charlie said, wrapping his arm around Edward's shoulders. "You and I can sit over here, that way you can still see them and not be so close."
Edward looked at the chairs along the wall and exhaled as he nodded to Dad. "Anythin' goes amiss, I'm over there in a second," he huffed.
I nodded before pulling him into me for a kiss. "This is so-something I need to do," I reminded him. "It will be some sort of closure for both of us. It will be good."
He leaned down warily, giving me a chaste kiss before turning to Dad. I moved across the room to where Jasper sat, looking down at the table. He still looked the same as he did the last time I'd seen him. However, he looked as if he'd been eating better. He wasn't near as lanky as he had been. His skin was paler and he also had a beard now.
"He-hey," I greeted him, nervously approaching the table.
His head snapped up and his blue eyes widened. He stood up quickly. "Here… uh… can I help ya?"
"Yeah, can you hold these, ple-please?" I asked, handing him my crutches.
I lifted the strap of my messenger bag over my head and shifted onto my good leg so I could sit. Jasper carefully laid my crutches down beside me.
That was ten minutes ago and now we both were sitting awkwardly. I didn't know what it was, but I could feel the anxiety rolling off Edward. Seeing him with the hood of his sweatshirt drawn up and his death grip on the sides of the chair was affecting me as well.
"He hates me," Jasper said quietly.
I let out a breath. I wasn't going to let him do this to himself. When Jasper left, the amount of support he had weighed on his recovery. Statistically, his odds of falling off the wagon were high, but as the Cullens and Alice had discussed, it was important to be there for him and not fail him.
"How is your re-recovery?" I asked, taking his focus off Edward.
He blinked at me as though he were searching for his words. "Ya stutter now," he said lowly.
I took a deep breath and exhaled. Nodding, I slowly reached out and touched his hand. "It's gotten be-better."
"It's from hitting your head," he said, looking at my hand on his.
"I had surgery and am still recovering," I said perfectly.
"Yar leg has a rod in it?" he asked, nodding at it.
"Yeah."
"Ya were a beautiful dancer," he whispered.
"Thank you."
"No, ya were a beautiful dancer and now that's ruined. I caused that," he rasped.
He quickly fisted both of his hands and held them up to his eyes. His tears were leaking out, wetting his cheeks. I wasn't sure what I had said to get this kind of reaction, but I figured it was his guilt.
"Jasper," I said soothingly, hoping he would look at me.
"I have nightmares… I hit my head on the curb and was so fuckin' drunk. I see it when I sleep… close my eyes. Rose and I… I didn't hold ya… Rose said not ta touch ya. The dispatcher on the phone told her ta wait until the paramedics came… so much blood… so much," he whimpered, his eyes still closed tightly.
"I'm right here, Jasper," I murmured, tugging gently on his wrist. "What happened that night was an accident. Could it have be-been prevented? Possibly, but what has happened, happened."
He cried until I noticed his breathing slow. I glanced back at Edward whose head was still down as he rocked.
"It shouldn't have happened," Jasper said shakily. "I was an asshole. I couldn't stop drinking. It numbed me and allowed me ta check out. I didn't have ta deal with Olivia not havin' a mom or the fuckin' pain in my shoulder. I would black out and not see all the death that surrounded me in Iraq. Instead, I caused pain ta everyone around me because I didn't want to feel."
"Jas," I started.
"He's always been my hero… when I was a kid and we were living with our mother. He watched out far me and Rose. My dad used ta try and hit me, but Ed wouldn't let it happen. Mom got mad that Ed tried ta take a beating far me. She loved him, ya know? I know me and Rose were mistakes…" he trailed off, looking back at his brother. "He coulda had a different life. His grandparents wanted him. When he left far Cali, he didn't call home much. He had his grandfather."
I watched as Jasper relived the pain and jealousy he was now able to face. He thought he was losing the brother he had looked up to.
I touched his hand again causing his eyes to meet mine. "Have you talked to him about this?" He shook his head, dipping it down slightly.
"When his grandfather passed, I was already in the Marines and we hadn't spoken far a while," he admitted.
That's when it all clicked. Jasper and Edward had been broken for a long time; both had been dealing with it in different ways. Edward's way was mostly avoidance, whereas Jasper had turned to alcohol.
"You got shot and had to come home."
He shrugged. "In group and my private therapy sessions, they make me talk about where I came from. I was a kid when ma and dad adopted us, but I wasn't little like Rosie. I remembered everything befare them, maybe not as much as Ed, but I remembered it."
He became quiet and I had a feeling he was going into a dark place so I dug into my messenger bag of pictures I had taken of Olivia. He went through them with a small smile on his face.
"Ya know, she's the best thing I've eva done," he murmured, letting his thumb trace her face.
It was a picture of Edward and Olivia on the couch at Esme's house. Edward was holding her up over his head and Liv's head was thrown back in laughter.
"I'm so very sorry," he sniffed as he wiped at his eyes.
"I know," I sighed. "We're just going to have to move forward, okay?"
He nodded, finally looking back up at me. "Yar a great girl far my brotha, Bella."
"He's a great guy for m-me too," I smiled, standing to gather my things. "I'll be back to visit, maybe with Alice next time."
"Sounds good," he exhaled. "Please, tell him that I miss him."
"I will." He stood and helped me with my crutches and I made my way over to my biggest support system.
Dad was the first one to stand, giving my head a quick peck. "I'm proud of you, Bells."
"Thanks, Dad. He deserves forgiveness."
I heard my guy grumbling from his seat. I handed Charlie my crutches before pulling on Edward's hands. He finally let me take them away from his hood before he stood and hugged me.
"I need a fuckin' cigarette," he breathed in my ear.
"Got one in my bag," I whispered against his cheek.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't talk," he replied, nuzzling his nose against my neck.
"One st-step at a time. You weren't ready and that's okay." I kissed him in encouragement. "He misses you."
"I heard," he grunted, holding me closer.
When we left the rehab facility that day, I felt we were finally moving in the right direction. A year ago, I was in a place where I didn't know what I wanted out of life. I was just settling down and moving in the direction of what was expected of me.
I didn't know if the accident gave me a new outlook or if meeting Edward did. I knew if it wasn't for him, I might still be with Emmett and we might have moved to Tennessee to be closer to his family. Everything constantly being a 'what if' was not acceptable for me.
I was marrying a man who loved me unconditionally and supported me in anything I did or ever wanted to do. Whether I wanted to go back to teaching dance, writing a book or even getting into publication, Edward was there to give me a kiss on the nose and tell me I would be great at anything I did. At times, I felt he was biased, but I knew I should trust his judgment.
After the meeting with Jasper, I also took a step back from trying to get him to mend things with his brother. Edward continued to see Maggie and work out his issues with her. I did visit Jasper a few more times with Alice and Esme before he was released.
Not that everyone was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but we were all aware that Jasper could relapse and go back to the bottle. I had a strong feeling that Alice wouldn't let that happen if she could help it.
I was a girl who, at one time, had felt like I was a horrible person because I didn't think I could love; but now all I do is love. I felt such an all-consuming love for Edward that I knew it would be just him for the rest of my life.
I thanked God every day I woke up to a new day; a life with Edward and our friends and family.
I would try to take none of it for granted because I was given this second chance.
A/N: And here is the last chapter! Next up is the epilogue. Please, let me know your thoughts! Mauigirl60 and Dolphin62598 are my wonderful beta's, so huge thanks to them!
