Chapter 29 – Nothing's Fair in Love and War

Your hand, my knife, your heart, my life

There's no wrong, or right

When nothing's fair in love and war

11:18 Firstfall; 9:31 Dragon

The Hanged Man wouldn't have been Cullen's first choice of establishments to meet a potential recruit. In fact, it hadn't been his choice at all, but the young man had insisted on it. The hairs on the back of his neck stiffened, and a chill ran down his back as he walked through the doors, though the pub was considerably warmer than the weather outside.

Cullen scanned the room, but saw no sign of the Hawke boy. Instead, a scantily-clad rogue with a kerchief in her hair and gold dangling around her neck sauntered over to him and hooked an arm at his elbow.

"My apologies, Miss," he began, trying to pull away unsuccessfully. "I'm here on Templar business."

"I know who you're here for, Handsome," she purred seductively, leading him through the tables towards the stairs. Nobody stopped them. Nobody stared. A layer of nerves melted away as the sounds of drinking and dicing faded into the background.

There was a door ajar at the end of the hall. From it, familiar voices spoke in open tones.

"...will be here at sundown, and Aveline might stop by for Wicked Grace after that."

"I don't see why you can't just take it all up to them at the Keep."

"When you sleep in the spider's bed, you play by the spider's rules."

The rogue at his side chuckled at Marian Hawke's words, then knocked on the door's frame as the raven-haired siblings came into view.

It was always a shock to see his wife's eyes on another woman's face. Cullen knew that Marian was there officially as representative of his recruit's family, but she seemed entirely too comfortable with her brother's decision. Curled up in a leather chair near the fire, surrounded by piles of correspondence, he would never have expected Marian to have the power he had once seen her wield.

"Don't," she warned, but her gaze was on his escort, not Cullen himself.

"Oh, you're no fun," the woman complained, disentangling herself from Cullen's arm and bowing dramatically. "Knight-Captain, I leave you in the company of Marian Hawke, seneschal to the Merchant Prince of Kirkwall. And her brother, Carver, also resistant to my many, many charms."

The recruit rolled his eyes as he pushed away from a seat at the table. Barely noticing that the pirate had slipped out of the room and closed the door, Cullen shifted his focus to Carver.

He knew the young man had been at Ostagar, though he couldn't recall having seen either of the Hawke brothers in the massive crowd of soldiers. Carver was tall, and had a slim warrior's build. There was no doubt in the Knight-Captain's mind that his recruit could deal some serious damage with the enormous broadsword hanging casually from the back of his chair.

"An honor, Knight-Captain," Carver said, offering a hand which Cullen shook in greeting. "I imagine you have some sort of screening process..."

"Questions, yes," came his reply as they returned to the table for the official meeting of Templar and recruit. "Chief among them pertaining to a willingness to return to Ferelden."

No sense in wasting time with formalities, he decided as he took a seat. It was no secret to Meredith that Cullen intended to take fresh faces along upon his eventual return to Kinloch Hold. But it was not common knowledge outside the Order that he would one day become Knight-Commander, and Carver's expression of genuine surprise had him grinning.

"If that's where I'm to be posted," the young man recovered gracefully, "then I would accept it."

"It's years away yet, but there's a place for you at the Tower once our duties here have been fulfilled. And for your sister."

Behind them, Marian snorted. Her position on joining the Circle was apparent. Turning slightly to acknowledge her, Cullen chose his next words carefully.

"It would be your choice, when the time comes. And considerably safer than living in Kirkwall as an apostate."

"I've heard about what happened there," she admitted. "No, thanks."

"I lived through what happened there."

Cullen tried not to let the bitterness seep into his voice, but the nightmares still plagued him from time to time. There was no fear in Marian's eyes at his tone, however. She was curious. Intrigued. And she set the papers in her lap down as she got up to join them at the table.

"Why would you go back to that?" she asked, taking a seat of her own. "More to the point, why would you drag us into that mess?"

"Steps are being taken to clean up that mess," he assured them. Maker, he was thankful that Marian had been the only family of Carver's in attendance. Two Hawkes were a formidable front. All four of the siblings would have been stronger than an army. "When Enchanter Solona and I return to take the positions being held for us, we will bring a great deal of change to the Ferelden Circle of Magi. Many of those changes will be...unconventional."

The siblings exchanged a long, silent look, as if Cullen's admission had been both unexpected and convenient. Even the Templar couldn't explain why this particular family had struck such a strong chord inside of him. He knew only that the Maker had set them on his path for a purpose.

"One condition," Carver demanded casually, piquing Cullen's curiosity. From beneath a stack of letters on the table, the warrior pulled an envelope with his name on the front. The Knight-Captain itched to get his hands on it, but the Hawke boy held it back.

"We need Solona Amell's family records from the Ferelden Circle," Marian elaborated, nodding for her brother to pass the note.

Cullen removed his gauntlets, then his gloves, before brushing his thumb affectionately across his name on the paper. He barely noticed Carver and Marian watching him curiously, their silence a welcome surprise.

"It's from her," he mentioned quietly, unfolding the parchment and letting the scent of the white flower petals inside wash over him nostalgically. They slipped gently to the table as Cullen lifted the letter and began to read.

The words were clear, but he couldn't believe them. Not at first. After absorbing the letter a second, then a third time, Cullen's hands began to shake and he let it drop to the table as he stood to pace in front of the fire. He saw, out of the corner of his eye, Marian slapping her brother's hand away from the note, but there was no point in keeping the secret from them when they obviously trusted him with secrets of their own.

"You never..." he began, slowing his steps and taking a deep breath. "You never asked why I haven't turned you in to the Templars."

"I just figured you had something resembling a conscience beneath that shiny armor," Marian suggested.

"I do, Maker forgive me, but there's more. Before I came to Kirkwall, Solona and I were married. I'd been in love with her for years, but our wedding night was the first time we'd...ahh...well..."

Cullen cleared his throat, certain he was blushing. He'd never been able to speak freely about his marriage, and it didn't come easily for him. But the Hawke siblings didn't seem at all shocked by the admission.

"Anyhow, we had precious little time, and the wedding has been kept secret from all save the handful of people who helped arrange it."

"Including Meredith?" Carver asked.

"Especially Meredith," amended Cullen. "And it's even more important now that this information never reaches her. It's not about losing my rank, or my life. Or even Solona's. If the Knight-Commander finds out about..." He waved a hand towards the letter on the table. "I'm going to be a father," he announced, the gravity of it finally sinking in. "My wife, Solona, the love of my life, is carrying my child and I'm going to have to openly agree with every argument, every grievance, that Knight-Commander Meredith will try to throw at her when news of the pregnancy reaches the Gallows."

There was no word from the Hawkes, and when Cullen finally looked up from the fire, he saw their heads together, conferring in whispers. Carver didn't seem pleased with what Marian was saying, but the mage wouldn't back down. She stepped away from the table, a pained expression on her face as she retreated towards the back of the room.

"I've spent my whole life trying to keep my sisters out of the Circle," Carver admitted. "We can't speak for Bethany, but Marian will come with us to Ferelden if we can keep her safe while we're here in Kirkwall."

"I'll send a request for Solona's records when I return to the Gallows," Cullen acknowledged, remembering their earlier request. But something about the look in Marian's eyes when she returned with a leather-bound book told the Templar that his wife's family paperwork would only be a formality.

She sat back down, opening the book to a page that had fading ink and yellowing edges. The paper wasn't bound, but instead had been slipped in with the higher-quality parchment. With a nod of her head, Marian beckoned Cullen to join them again. As he peered over her shoulder, she tapped her finger over a name.

There was a jolt of recognition. Cullen had seen the name only once, above his wife's on their marriage contract.

"That's Solona's father," he stated, not bothering to hide his shock. "And you found him in the Amell family record book."

Marian nodded, then moved the paper to give him a clear view of the incomplete family tree beneath it.

"The Maker works in mysterious ways, cousin," she stated sadly, as if her fate had already been sealed. But she spoke the truth.

Next to Solona's father's name was another, who himself was father to Gamlen and Leandra Amell. Beneath the daughter's name, two sets of twins. Solona's cousins. The Hawkes were, by way of marriage, Cullen's family. Cullen's responsibility.

The Maker, indeed, worked in mysterious ways. But now Cullen knew that he was no longer alone in the City of Chains.


**Author's Note** It's getting close to five years since I started this story, so I figured it was time to start tying a few strings. (And possibly tangling a few up in the process.) Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me all this time. Chapter/lyric credit: "Nothing's Fair in Love & War" by Three Days Grace