Ask and you shall receive :P


Ashley and I arrived about forty minutes ago. That's forty minutes of pure torture. Glen doesn't have a hangover, Clay is even more cheerful than usual and Paula is...well, Paula.

When we got here she opened the door, apparently having seen us approaching from the street and came to greet us. The first words out of her mouth were, "Ooh, somebody was up until all hours!"

Yes, we were up until just after two but it was totally innocent and does she have to announce it? Jesus.

I'm sitting alone on the couch sipping a Pepsi while Ashley is in the kitchen with everybody else. I think they're trying to fix lunch and that is such a good idea. With my morning 'activity' I forgot to have that Snickers on the way here, so when I pulled it out of my bag ten minutes after I got here just to have Glen snatch it out of my hands, open it and practically inhale it —I was pissed.

I grabbed an empty vase next to me, fully prepared to launch it in attack when Ashley grabbed my hand, telling me to let it go because it was my grandmother's birthday and we could just get him later.

I'm looking forward to that.

Grandma went next door for something, I don't know what; probably just inviting her friend to join us later. The woman who lives next door is Miss Collins. I don't think she's ever been married. I'm not sure though, I'll ask grandma when she gets back, it'll bug me otherwise. They're pretty good friends, anyway.

Don't you hate buying gifts for people, especially family and then trying to hide it from them when you show up to their house? I do. I have two gifts for her and one is neatly wrapped, thanks to Ashley. I didn't think it was that bad but she said it looked like I'd wrapped it with my feet, so she took care of that and I have it hidden in my purse. I have the second gift hidden behind the sofa. I hope she doesn't see it.

Ashley actually got her a gift too, I didn't know until I saw she was carrying something on the way here. I asked her what it was but she wouldn't tell me, she said it's a surprise.

And how sweet is she? Buying gifts for my grandma. Aww. I'm pretty curious anyway.

"Hey, are you okay?" It's Ashley; she's standing by the door.

"Yeah, what's up?"

She walks closer and sits down next to me. That's when I notice she has her hand behind her back. "Aww, did Paula chop off your hand?"

She smirks at that one. "I wish. She just keeps going on about how happy she is that we're together."

Ugh. I keep on with the hand talk, "You know I'd still love you even if you were disabled, so come on, show me how bad it is." I wince for dramatic effect.

"Really want me to show you?"

"Totally. In fact, shove it right in my face so I can see how bad it is. I want a good look at it."

I see her trying not to smirk but I don't say anything. I'm too busy thinking how good she looks when suddenly I have a face full of cupcake.

Let's recap shall we? Turkey Spencer. Jello Spencer. And now, Cupcake Spencer.

With all of those Spencer's being food of some sort, I'm not exactly being consumed...if you know what I mean. "Ashley!"

She's laughing so hard right now and if I were in her position I probably would too but wow, she is so dead.

"Spence, heads up!"

It's Paula. She must have seen the exchange and ran to get me a cupcake. Have I said how awesome she is? No? Well, she is. I break the cupcake in half and throw myself on top of Ashley, rubbing half of it in her face. The frosting smears over the left side and her mouth is wide open.

It's fucking hilarious.

"Spencer!"

"You started it, bad ass!"

I'm still on top of her when I hear Glen making some kind of crude comment. I don't think it would have pissed me off so much if it wasn't for him stealing my Snickers bar earlier.

I get up off Ashley and throw the other half of the cupcake right at his face.

I have perfect aim; it bounced off his nose and left a mark on his shirt. With that he ran upstairs to change, muttering something about having a brother instead when Ashley came up behind me, turning me around so fast I got dizzy and crashed our lips together.

I taste Ashley and cupcake. Mmm.

She's laughing and trying to kiss me at the same time, it's cute but it's not working very well. It's totally distracting and I don't see the small coffee table in the middle of the room which sends us both to the floor.

I'm so going to have a bruise later.

###

When grandma got back a little while ago, she apologised she didn't help with lunch and then went upstairs to change. Not that I would have let her anywhere near the kitchen anyway, not on her birthday. Clay is perfectly capable.

And why do people change into their best clothes for just a small family get together at home? It baffles me. Anyway, lunch was uneventful except for Clay choking on a piece of chicken. I was about to burst out laughing when Ashley kicked me underneath the table.

We're in the living room now as it is present-giving time. I love this time, especially when it's my turn to receive presents good presents.

My grandmother has already opened a few of her gifts. Clay got her a book, I don't know which one but she was really happy when she saw what it was, and mom and dad got her an expensive gift certificate to some spa. Glen got her some gross-smelling perfume she seemed to like and now, now it's my turn.

I'm nervous. I hate buying gifts in case people don't really like them and just say they do to your face and when you've gone they throw it out. I don't usually like my gifts on my birthday. When I was twelve I got a gold dolphin necklace from Glen. Long story short, I hated it and threw it to the back of my closet. Then came Christmas I totally forgot to buy Clay a gift and just wrapped something I found in the corner of my closet.

When he opened it and saw what it was he was pretty confused and tried to keep the look of disdain off his face. He didn't do a very good job, the ungrateful... Anyway, I had a lot of explaining to do which resulted in me saying the guy at the store must have got the wrong one.

Paula caught wind of that and had the guy fired.

I was amused.

Anyway, I'm getting off track, gifts and grandma, right. She's opening my gift that Ashley wrapped now and my heart is beating just that little bit faster in anticipation of her reaction.

"Oh, Spence! It's beautiful. Thank you." She gets up to kiss my cheek.

I'm so glad she liked it! It was pretty expensive. It's a white gold bracelet from a really good jeweller in LA, not exactly what I'd call 'bling' but it's still nice. And she likes it, so score. "You're welcome and oh, I have something else." I reach behind the couch to retrieve the bouquet of lilies and tulips.

She loved them and said that she's lucky she had a free vase in the house to put them in.

It's a good job I didn't throw that at Glen, I guess. I love when things work out. It's Ashley's turn now and I'm really excited to see what she's got her.

"Okay, so first I'd like to say happy birthday, you so don't look a day over 65." She coughs nervously but I can tell it amused grandma, "And I got you something, too. I hope you like it and if you don't, then blame Spence. It was her idea."

I don't know what she's talking about, I didn't even know until we were on our way here.

"Don't be silly, Ashley. I'm sure I'll love it," she says as she carefully un-wraps the layers of pretty tissue paper and the expression on her face is, well, I've never seen her look like that before.

She doesn't speak for like two minutes. Two minutes of silence.

Ashley is nervous and starts to explain, "I saw this in some pictures Paula was showing me once. It was in with some of Spencer's baby pictures and I thought it was beautiful so I got it restored and changed to colour."

I don't know what she's talking about so I move closer to see what her gift is.

It's amazing.

I've seen that picture before; it's of Grandma and Grandpa when they first started dating. They're on a beach, they must have been on vacation or something. She's sitting in his lap and they're both looking at each other with so much love in their eyes. I've secretly always loved this picture. It was a little torn, black & white and faded the last time I saw it.

Now, now it's flawless, coloured and clear.

I can't believe how thoughtful she can be. Wow.

Grandma is tearing up a little. "I don't know what to say, Ashley."

"Say you like it." She laughs nervously.

"I love it. Thank you so much, sweetheart."

Ashley just grinned ear to ear, trying to hide a blush.

###

After the presents were out the way we seem to have gone down memory lane. That happens all the time doesn't it? And then you have to sit there listening to told-a-thousand time-stories.

I don't mind today though. I'll let grandma have a good day.

She went upstairs to get a box a little while ago. It's full of pictures and Ashley and I are going through some together, I'm telling her the stories behind some when I see a picture she most definitely cannot see. Ever.

I try to shuffle past it as fast as I can but she notices we missed one. "Hey go back, I missed that one."

"It doesn't matter; it's a boring photo, no story there." I start telling her about the current one when she tries to get the pile of photographs out of my hands. "Ashley, stop it! It's nothing, it's just a picture of Glen naked." I hoped to make her let it go with that, but she's relentless.

"You are such a bad liar. It's one of you. I know it." She's still trying to pry the pictures from my hands. "Come on Spence, I've seen alien-you before, what's one more?"

"I said no, accept it." I put my hands on my stomach and lean over a little so she can't get to them.

"Okay fine, we'll skip that one."

I eye her suspiciously. "Really?"

"Yeah, come on tell me about this one." She points to a picture she just got out of a folder.

###

They're talking about Grandpa now and I don't have a sarcastic thought in mind, not one. I'm just listening. Well, I was. I've gone off in thought.

I look over to Grandma talking about him so fondly and I wonder how she does that: be strong. I look towards Ashley and I see how in love I am with her and if something was to happen, even from the short amount of time we've been together —I don't know what I'd do. And then I see my Grandma who just lost her soul mate, her life partner. The guy she met when she was nineteen before he joined the navy and five years later when they met again, he remembered right away.

The guy she left her rich but arrogant husband for.

I asked her how she's doing and if she really is alright, and she said she was holding up. The reason she went to see her friend next door was because her friend lost her husband fifteen years ago, so she turns to her a lot lately. My earlier uncertainty over that question was gone, and she told her that today would be difficult but as long as she has us here, she knows she will be fine.

I was about to ask something else when she told me she could feel him around her all the time, she said she can feel him watching her sometimes and it's the most comforting feeling in the world.

She dreams about him. Almost every night.

She told me her friend still dreams about her husband. He's been dead for fifteen years and she still dreams about him. It made my throat a little tight. I think she noticed, she held my hand and told me she wanted to show me something.

We're in her bedroom now, it's immaculate as always. Never one to be messy. She's reaching inside her closet for a little shoebox and I'm sitting on her bed.

Grandma walks over to me and hands me a card. I must have shown my confusion because she smiles and tells me to look at it. I look at her for a second before reading the card. It's old, it looks delicate. It's an old anniversary card, a first anniversary and I smile knowing it's from Grandpa.

I thought the card was sweet, but when I looked inside, I couldn't speak. It was an old rose, it was dead but it still had that red tone to some parts. Pressed.

"He gave me that on our first anniversary together, right before he proposed."

That lump, it's back and it brought a few friends. I honestly can't speak.

"I've been looking at that a lot lately, and I know he'll always be with me. With that rose, his stare across an empty room, my memories, my dreams; they're all keeping him alive." She stops to rub my arm a little. "I'm going to be okay, dear. Just you see."

###

After having five minutes to myself when grandma left the room, Ashley came up to see if I was okay. We've been in here for ten minutes.

"So, Paula said that we can hang out until eight and then meet back here. She made reservations at some restaurant."

I think yesterday I would have made a fuss about going out again today, but after the card just now, I don't mind at all. "Okay sure."

I'm playing with the fingers on her left hand now and I can see she's smirking as she reaches for something behind her back. "I swear to God, if that's another cupcake Ashley."

It's not a cupcake.

It's worse.

So much worse.

Ashley's biting her bottom lip trying not to laugh as she holds out the picture I wouldn't show her earlier. "So... what's the story behind this picture?"

It's me from when I was 13. I was chubby, I had bangs, I had chocolate on my chin and I had braces. Good lord above, why must you do this to me? I laugh slightly, masking my embarrassment. "That's not me."

"Oh please, this has Spencer Carlin written all over it."

I don't have to guess who found this picture for her. Paula is toast. "I..." I don't know what to say, I'm so unbelievably embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed, this picture is totally cute."

I know she's serious because she just brought it up to her mouth and placed a kiss on my fat face.

God, I love her.