Day 79:
Well, Hanekoma has agreed to let me out on missions. There's only two more days left after all… He said since he knew he couldn't stop me he might as well give me a fighting chance. Basically, he's tinkering with Ryota's cell phone to make it easier for me to use. Keeps mumbling about how I shouldn't be able to use someone else's psyche. I've been able to do a lot of things that most people can't do and I have no idea why.
Honestly this no memories thing is still messing with me. What did Hanekoma mean when he said that my memories were the only thing I had? It makes no sense. I'm a person, right? I should have something more than my memories. I should have a family. Friends! A pet maybe? A reputation? An object? Something! There had to be something more to me than my memories!
Right?
I'm almost scared… Scared of my second chance. If my memories are all I have, what's waiting for me if I go back? Is there nothing? Am I a nothing with nobody to turn to? Am I alone? I don't want to be alone… I don't like being alone. It's too quiet. Too mind numbing. Too cold. Too boring. Too repetitive. Too… Too…
How do I know this? How being so alone feels like?
So it's true then. My memories are really all I have… There's nothing for me back in life…
Hanekoma's coming out of the back with Ryota's phone. I'll be back later.
Later:
Mission mail came in while he was working on the phone yet there doesn't seem to be a time limit. I would have known. A timer being engraved into your hand isn't something you can miss. It's something easy, basically just eliminating some rogue Noise. Odd for such an easy quest on the second to last day. Something big is up. Hanekoma warned against going against them alone.
I'll let the other Players take care of it for now. Hanekoma's filled me in on the fact that if one pair completes the task, everybody passes, so I'm just going to sit back on this one. After all, Ryota and I were the ones completing all the others. Besides, there's no time limit.
I'll just go practice with the upgraded phone. I have a promise to keep… The phone reminded me of that. So I can't just back out. Not when I've already let him down.
I just noticed the picture saved on the phone. It's one of Ryota, Hype, and me. I had forgotten he asked for a picture with her. He's flashing this stupid peace sign on the left. Hype's in the middle, arms draped over our shoulders. I'm on the right just smiling. One of Hype's bandmates had taken it. That was the day that I failed him…
I'll win. I'll win for Ryota.
