Izuku sat at his desk, staring. He'd brought his three most recent notebooks of observations with him when he moved in with All Might, but all the others were still piled in the corner, neatly stacked next to an All Might figurine. It was a limited edition action figure, made twenty-five years before to commemorate the five-year anniversary of peace. The statuette stood proudly, a fist thrust up into the air, a huge smile on its face.
Izuku had never given thought to the blood on its hands.
Then again, when he thought of all the thousands of videos he'd seen of All Might, he realized he'd never seen All Might kill anyone up close. His heart pounding faster, he opened his laptop and pulled up the most destructive video he could think of— the one where All Might destroyed an entire army all on his own. His finger shaking, he pressed the 'play' button.
Majestic music played, the old reporter spouting words of patriotic encouragement as All Might landed on the scene, making a crater in the ground. The music didn't match the dark background of the cloudy, smoke-choked skies, the charred and dusty dirt, overrun by too many tanks, trucks, and combat boots. The enemy army's camouflage outfits only added to the dreary atmosphere. All Might's costume was a pop of bright color, out-of-place in the warzone. As he swung his fist at the army, the camera did a close-up on All Might, and then a wide shot of the army getting blown away. The shot was far enough that Izuku could vaguely see the dark dots of bodies flying through the air and the armored tanks flipping over and tumbling like discarded toys. Doubtless, everyone was dead. But the camera didn't focus on them.
Instead, it zoomed in close, right on All Might's triumphant smile.
Izuku closed his laptop, feeling slightly ill. He sighed, swiping a hand through his hair. He knew he had to pull himself together, forget about all that. Endeavor had grudgingly allowed him some time to stay in Cenere City, but requested that he return to Leogan City as soon as possible.
And yet...Izuku couldn't stop thinking of how he'd murdered another human being...and how many others he would have to kill in the name of peace. As important as peace was...could he ever do that with a smile?
On top of that, what he'd done to Nomu wasn't in the name of peace. Of course, he'd been prepared for the possibility of killing people, but he'd never thought it would be an act of passion— if a hero killed based on his own personal feelings, it was not a necessary tragedy for the sake of peace, but a crime.
A crime he would never be prosecuted for.
If he wanted to continue working towards his goal of becoming a hero...he would have to make sure he never allowed his anger to control him again, and he had to remember that peace trumps all.
Izuku set his jaw, standing up and turning away from his desk. He clenched his fists in front of him.
This is my new promise.
Just then, he got a call on his phone. He pulled it out of his pocket, slightly surprised to see an unfamiliar device; he'd had to get his old one replaced after the fight.
Nevertheless, he recognized the number as Ochaco's. He took a deep breath before answering the call. He sat at his desk again and put his phone down, aiming the camera at himself.
Seeing her face instantly made him feel better, a genuine smile spreading across his lips. "Hey, Ochaco!"
She, on the other hand, seemed upset. His smile faded. "Izuku...Did you see the newscast?"
His blood went cold. He'd been too depressed to watch the newscasts the past few days, especially if it meant watching himself talk with a fake All Might beside him. "N-no...why?"
"Well…" She bit her lip. "Momo got kidnapped by the rebels."
His voice came out a whisper, his heart stopping. "What?"
"She went out with Shoto and Katsuki to go stop a group of them, but...they messed up, I guess. They won't say what went wrong exactly, but Tenya and I watched the footage." She hesitated for a moment, looking over her shoulder as though making sure they weren't there. "They had some kind of argument, and they ended up clashing during the battle…"
Izuku sucked in his breath sharply, an uncomfortable clenching in his gut. He'd noticed the two didn't exactly get along, but neither tended to forget what their goals were. He wouldn't have expected some kind of squabble between them getting in the way of their work.
"It must have been something serious…"
Ochaco nodded, but she fidgeted in her seat and avoided his eyes, as though she knew something she wasn't telling him. "I'm going to talk to Katsuki later, but I wanted to ask you if you could talk to Shoto. Tenya's willing to try, but...we don't really understand what's going on in his head. I think...I think he might like Momo."
"Yeah, of course I can," Izuku assured her, even though he didn't really know what went on in Shoto's head, either. Still, for some reason, Izuku's mind fixated on Ochaco's first statement— that she would be talking to Katsuki. Had she figured out how to interact productively with the aggressive boy? If so, how?
"Thanks, Izuku." She managed to smile. "Oh, and I saw the newscast of you and All Might. I didn't know All Might did undercover work anymore."
He doesn't. Izuku opened his mouth, but he closed it before he made a sound, thinking over his next words. His stomach clenched at the thought of lying to Ochaco, and his chest ached with the urge to share his troubles with her, but he couldn't tell anyone about what had happened with All Might.
"Me neither," he said. The pause between her statement and his response was too long, but he just continued talking, hoping to cover it up. "But I'll be working with Endeavor for a bit, now, so that should be a good experience."
She nodded, but something flashed in her eyes for a moment before she looked away, like she could tell he was hiding something, too.
Suddenly, Izuku sensed an invisible barrier between them, a wall of bulletproof glass separating them. Something clenched in his chest. Ochaco had always been the one he'd felt the most comfortable opening up to, and in turn he had trusted her to confide in him when there was something wrong. When had they started being so secretive with each other?
"Yo, Round Face!" Katsuki's voice rang out from the background.
Ochaco turned to face him. "Oh, hey, Katsuki. Any luck?"
Izuku couldn't see him because of the angle of Ochaco's phone, but his voice was as loud and brash as always.
"No." Katsuki let out a growl. "I can't stand hanging around Four Eyes and Half-and-half anymore. Wanna go get some food or something?"
Izuku's heart skipped a beat. It was true that he hadn't talked to Katsuki in months, but he was surprised that he and Ochaco had gotten close enough that he wanted to hang out with her.
"I'm talking to Izuku right now," Ochaco said, giving Izuku a strange sense of satisfaction. He tried to push it to the back of his mind. It was stupid to be thinking about stuff like that when there were serious matters to attend to. Ochaco lifted the phone so that they could see each other.
Katsuki scowled. "Deku."
"H-hey, Katsuki," Izuku replied, trying to smile. "How have you been—?"
"Like you care," Katsuki snapped. He turned to Ochaco. "You haven't been telling him anything weird about me, have you? Idiot doesn't know how to mind his own damn business."
Ochaco puffed out her cheeks in annoyance, raising an eyebrow. "No. Give it a rest, will you?"
Katsuki ignored her, sitting next to her on the couch as she put the phone down, presumably on a table in front of the couch. "Tell me, Deku, what's really going on with All Might?"
His heart began to pound. He could feel his hands beginning to sweat. "W-what?"
"You heard me."
Izuku looked away, something eating away at him from the inside. He knew he should have denied that anything was happening at all, but...
"I…I wish I could say, but...I can't."
"I knew it," Katsuki sneered. "You're in on it and you're not going to do a damn thing about it!"
Instantly, Izuku had tears in his eyes. He wanted to share what had happened, of course, but it would be selfish to do something like that. The role of a hero was to bear the weight of burdens so that others wouldn't have to. And after what he'd done to Nomu, Izuku was determined to do his job right, even if it caused conflict with his friends.
"Don't yell at him, Katsuki!" Ochaco jumped to Izuku's defense. "If he's keeping a secret, it's because he's trying to protect us!"
"Oh, so you're agreeing with freakin' Half-and-half, now?!"
"He's not even here!" Ochaco shot back, the anger rising in her voice. There were angry tears in the corners of her eyes. Izuku wanted to stop them, but he didn't know how. "Not everything's about you and your stupid complex!"
Katsuki's eyes widened. "You wanna say that again, you—?!"
"Hey…!" Izuku's voice sounded odd, foreign, as though it didn't even belong to him. It shook, but was strangely detached. He felt like he was floating away. "Please don't fight."
Katsuki stormed out without another word.
"Sorry, Izuku…" Ochaco wiped a tear from her eye. "We're all a little on edge after yesterday…"
Izuku nodded. "Don't worry." He tried to smile, but he could only get the corners of his mouth to twitch before tears started to take over. "I-I'll talk to you later?"
"Y-yeah…" After offering him a shaky smile, Ochaco cut the connection.
Izuku took a deep breath, trying to dispel the discomfort in his chest.
"Izuku!" Dad called, too brightly. "Want to watch the newscast today?"
Izuku could tell he was trying to help, and he felt guilty for turning Dad down the last few days, so he agreed, trying to walk a little more cheerfully into the living room.
"Hey, um, did you see anything about Momo on the news yesterday?" Izuku asked, sitting down next to dad.
"No, why?" Dad's voice was casual, but from the way he avoided Izuku's eyes, Izuku could tell Dad knew what had happened. Probably, he was trying not to upset Izuku, but…
"Do you think she'll be okay?" he asked quietly.
Dad sighed. "They told you, huh?" He managed a smile. "They'll get her back; don't worry. In fact, they're not even telling the newscasters to cover anything about— that's how fast they're expecting to get it done."
That wasn't what Ochaco had made it sound like when she'd called, but Izuku let it drop, letting Dad believe that he'd been comforted.
Izuku blinked the tears away, the hollow expanding in his chest, squeezing his heart. His lip trembled and his throat tightened, but sitting right next to Dad he couldn't make a sound.
Instead, he tried to smile.
A/N: Thanks for reading! As always, critique is welcome!
A few people have voted on which extra one-shot they want to see, so I'll be working on that and hopefully posting it soon! :)
Have a great week, guys! :D
