Before I Fall

Chapter 29

Rikki's Journal

We actually drove until morning, where we only stopped to change and get something to eat. My daddy started talking after that stop. He explained that it might be better for us to just drive for a little bit. It was going to help him clear his head and create a plan. Well a little bit turned into a few days, into a few weeks into maybe we won't stop, ever. My daddy's knew plan was, he was going to teach me while doing odd jobs for money. We weren't getting a house, or a room, or a place to stay at all. We were just going to drive.

Driving was actually kind of fun. Every night we would stop at either a motel or an inn, nothing fancy, it was just a room with two beds. Every day we would drive for miles upon miles before we would get something to eat or stop for a break. I don't think my daddy knew where we were going, and some days, I didn't care.

For the longest time, right after we left, I missed my friends and the stationary life. I missed waking up and knowing what town I was in and who was living next door or across the street. I missed feeling like I was a part of something. But who was I kidding when I wished we could stay there forever. We were never planning on staying there forever, it was too nice. Deep down I knew that sooner or later I would be pulled away from what made me happy. I always was. I guess that is the thought that made me love the driving that much more.

If we were lucky, we could drive for days, only sleeping in rest areas late at night. Other times we would be stuck in one place for more than a few days, my dad finding cheep day cares that would take me or over paying some woman who seemed like she wasn't going to kill me. But I was 11 and not many day cares or babysitters wanted to waste time on someone my age, other times my dad didn't want to waste money.

I was 11 and a half when I was left alone. It was a spring or summer day, and my dad had a job, that was going to pay nice. He was desperate for a sitter, but was coming up short. Finally he looked me in the eyes and asked, "Do you think you can be a big girl and stay all by yourself today?" I had told him yes, because I didn't want to disappoint him, and I was a big girl.

We were staying in a motel, and my dad had given me a lot of schoolwork to work on. I should've been busy all day, but I got bored with schoolwork, and I was never much for TV. So I decided it couldn't hurt to take a small walk. I knew I wouldn't go far, and I would be back before my dad, so he would never know I was gone. There was a park like area behind the motel made up of swings, a slide, and some weird spinning device, all in a sand pit. There was another boy there. He couldn't be over nine or ten, and he was just sitting in the sand. I smiled as I sat down on one of the swings.

"Do you have food?" The boy asked me after we I had been sitting there for a while.

"No I don't," I answered softly. I started to wonder where his parents were. He couldn't be old enough to stay alone, could he?

"Oh," He said looking away from me. I knew he must be poor, he wouldn't be asking for food if he wasn't.

"Where are your parents?" I asked, trying to keep him talking for reasons even I didn't know.

"My mommy told me to stay here and she would pick me up," The boy answered.

"So you are just waiting for her?" I asked. "How long have you been waiting?"

The boy shrugged. I sat back on the swing, just letting it move back and forth. How could his mom just leave him here, alone? He was too little to know any better than to just sit here and wait for her, when she might not ever be coming back. I figured out why he was left here a few minutes late, when a cop walked up to the park and the two of us.

"Are you two lost?" He asked in a soft voice.

"No," We answered at the same time.

"Do you know where you live?" The cop asked, looking from the boy to me. The boy shook his head, but I nodded mine.

"Me and my daddy are staying right there," I said pointing to the motel. "Room 124." I recited the room like it was my real address, not that I had one of those anymore.

The cop nodded, then took the two of us by the hands. He walked me back up to the room, where he knocked on the door and waited for my dad to answer. After a minute, he did answer, looking down at me when he did. Then he wrapped me into a big hug, like when I had been lost in the woods. The cop asked him a few more questions, in the process explaining that people will just leave kids at the park I was sitting at, for example the boy I had been sitting with.

Once the cop was gone, my dad turned to me and told me we were leaving again, not that I was surprised. We drove for longer after that, not stopping for more than a night for a long time.

We spent another year driving around like that, with my dad only leaving me alone when he absolutely had to. We only stayed in motels or inns when we absolutely had to. For the most part, we spent the year in the car, including my birthday, which passed like any other day. I didn't want to ruin what me and my dad had by reminding him of what he had forgotten. It was like the days started to blend, and the weeks, and the months until a year had past, and we had barely stayed in one place for more than two days. It was a rough life, but it was life, that was all there was to it.