A/N: So this is the last chapter of this episode. So far four parts is the record. Some of these are just drabbles, but some of them, I'm really proud of. Especially Chuck and his sexual innuendos. Yay.
Summary: "Don't act so innocent, lover," Chuck said darkly, slowly getting to his feet. He took a step towards her and for the life of her, she couldn't find it in herself to back away. "You want this as much as I do."
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. All quotes, characters, and rights go to Gossip Girl.
Bastille Day
It would kill me if Chuck knew he'd ruined my summer.
I'm sorry, B, was it really that bad?
I would be in my cabana at the Hotel du Cap, and there he would be. Amid all the fireworks on Bastille Day, all I could see was that Chuck Bass-tard.
Blair decided this was it. The day she would hate forever. It was the day that she stopped fooling herself. He wasn't coming. He was never coming. It was the French holiday she would hate until her grave. Bastille Day. The day of independence for the French. For her, it was the day of complete despair. She would forever be in chains because of him. The hard part was she still wanted him. And she hated him for it.
Blair couldn't do this. She couldn't just stay in this hotel and think of him. It was desperate and sad. She wouldn't let him resort her to this. She wouldn't be one of those broken girls he cast aside without another thought. No, she was going to be desperate and sad while looking out at the fireworks.
Blair trailed quietly through the throng of people rapidly speaking in French, pointing and laughing at the fireworks. She wanted to scream at them to stop being happy. She wanted everyone to be as miserable as she was.
The fireworks were loud. They drowned out her harsh sobs that wracked her body. She ignored the pointed stares as she shoved her way through the crowd. Alone. Always alone. She knew she had to return to her father's chateau soon. She wouldn't be able to survive on her own. She relished her time in the quiet public where she would hold herself together. It was the only way. She was used to being cold and frozen on the outside where no one could crack her mask. No one but him.
He would just throw her that offhanded smirk and she would crumble. She would melt in his arms and he would kiss her pain away.
But not now.
Not ever again.
Now she resorted to society smiles and fake laughter to hold herself together. She hated him. She had taken to using him as a crutch so she wasn't falling apart at the seams. But there was just that way that he stared at her. It was like he was probing in her mind, finding her greatest weakness and comforting her at the same time because he shared them with her. He could be gentle and sweet when they were alone. He would whisper sweetness in her ear and she would love him even more.
She had to have known it wouldn't always be like that. She had to have known she could never tame the beast within him. She had to have known that he would never change. Not even for her. He could never change for someone as broken and weak as her. She wasn't even sure if she wanted him to change. Then he would cease to be the Chuck Bass that she was madly in love with. And she couldn't take either of those things back. Devotion just wasn't in the Bass nature and she had been stupid to think he would do it for her.
The finale bloomed blood-red in front of her eyes, exploding as fire lit the sky. She wiped her tears furiously away and turned.
There he was. She stared. It had to be an illusion. But no one could smirk like him. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he was smirking at her smugly like she had already forgiven him. She imagined him with his hair longer, part of it falling on his forehead. He looked beautiful. The bright lights accentuated the florescent jacket he was wearing.
And her heart broke.
That was when she made up her mind.
Chuck Bass was a dead man. She was going home. It was a week before she would return to the Hampton's. She would find a perfect boyfriend and she would break him. She would destroy him like she always did. And he would know that the bitch was back.
Dress Up
I don't know where you've been, but your boy toy is a Princeton man. He and I talked about it while you played dress up with Serena last night.
Chuck drummed his fingers on his knee. This could really go one of two ways. He could make this so incredibly uncomfortable and be even more intimidating than he already was... or he could actually befriend the person who took the one thing that meant anything to him.
His eyes flicked to the window where he could hear Blair's laughter. She and Serena were trying on clothes. If he angled just the right way, he could see into Serena's room from their place outside. Serena was going on a date. He stared transfixed outdoors while he saw Blair peel off her blouse to reveal...
Incredibly uncomfortable and intimidating it was. After all, no one could intimidate like Chuck Bass could. He smirked superiorly at James. James looked at him curiously looking to where Chuck's penetrating gaze just was. He looked away again. Chuck hazarded a glance back up. Blair was glaring down at him. In her bra. Chuck smoothed his palms down his pants. He was aware that James was staring at him and he really didn't give a damn. He just gave a smug leer up at Blair who could definitely tell. She violently snapped the shades down.
Chuck met eyes with James again. He was really surprised. Really, if a completely hot and alluring teenage girl was half naked in the window, wouldn't you be looking? There was something wrong with this guy. But if he had difficulty performing, all the better for Chuck.
Eric coughed pointedly. Oh yeah. He was still there. And he knew exactly what was going on. This was one of those times that Chuck wanted to hug Eric simply because he was gay.
"So," James said awkwardly. "You said you and Blair knew each other for awhile?"
"Since birth," Chuck replied roughly.
"That's a little bit of an exaggeration," Eric supplied.
"Fine," Chuck rolled his eyes. "Since my birth. She was born in November. Did she tell you when her birthday was?"
Eric had stopped trying to send Chuck covert glances. It really wasn't working and it never really would. Chuck knew Blair better than anyone and he was going to exploit that fact.
"Uh..." James said.
"That's alright," Chuck sighed. "You two have only known each other for six days. I wouldn't have expected her to drill you on everything. Even she forgets to clue you into some things."
"What are you trying to insinuate?" James questioned.
Chuck smirked. "Nothing."
James tried to look at Eric, but he avoided eye contact. As Chuck's legal step brother, he was obligated to side with him, even though he was acting like an extremely jealous ex boyfriend (which, granted, wasn't far from the truth at all) and would probably start a screaming match between him and the object of his affection.
"So, James," Eric said, trying desperately to change the awkward subject. "Where do you go to school. You're in college, right?"
Chuck shot his brother a look. Way to mention the fact that James was older than Chuck. He didn't know why women liked older men. But that was how he bedded so many freshmen.
"Yes," James replied, grabbing onto conversation that allowed him to look away from Chuck's hateful gaze. "I go to Princeton."
"Princeton," Chuck nodded. James eyed him warily. "I heard they call them the Princeton Tigers for a reason. Any thoughts on that?"
"I don't understand," James said in confusion.
"It was a very thinly veiled sexual innuendo," came Blair's dry voice from behind him. He felt her intoxicating presence behind his chair. "And the only reason you know that is because you had sex with Princeton's rep," she said, rounding the chair as she next to the only empty one, next to his. "Remember?"
Chuck let his gaze rake up her tantalizing legs covered only slightly in her skirt as she crossed them.
"Vaguely," he murmured. "There were other events following that which didn't make it that memorable."
Blair didn't meet his gaze pointedly, but he sat back, having won that round.
"Darling?" James asked. He obviously had no idea what was going on.
"Its nothing," Blair waved it away. "Just this thing we do at our school called Ivy Week. The boys have to usher for the Ivy schools rep. He was supposed to be ushering the Yale rep, but switched so he could violate the Princeton one instead."
"That seems like quite a story," James mused, not sure of what else to say.
"Well, like I said before," Chuck said smoothly and swiftly reached out to put his hand on Blair's thigh. "We've always been close."
Blair exhaled aggressively but didn't remove his hand which had descended more than was appropriate. There was still propriety that she had to abide by. Even if that made her not able to remove Chuck's hand because it would seem rude. James looked down to see how Chuck's hand was comfortably low on Blair's thigh.
"I think Serena's almost done changing," Eric announced. Always the peace maker, but Chuck still loved him.
"Of course," James said, rising. "We should greet her." Chuck finally caught Blair's eyes and smirked snidely.
"Of course," he said mockingly. James didn't get it. He and Eric rose. Blair didn't move. Chuck's hand still warmed her thigh. She hated how she missed a touch that could seem to innocent to the naked eye but could turn her insides quivering.
"At last, we're alone," Chuck said huskily. His hand just as swiftly went under her skirt to grab onto her hip. She jumped to her feet, shoving him away.
"What do you think you're doing?" she asked angrily, trying not to alert her "boyfriend's" attention.
"Don't act so innocent, lover," Chuck said darkly, slowly getting to his feet. He took a step towards her and for the life of her, she couldn't find it in herself to back away. "You want this as much as I do."
She eyed him stonily. "I don't."
Chuck knew that was as far as he was going to get that night. But it was good enough for him. He followed Blair back inside where Serena also was. Blair was talking to her. Chuck passed James and gave him a smug smirk as he went to converse with his sister as well.
"So he and Blair really have known each other for that long?" he asked Eric.
"Well, we all have," Eric replied. "Our families have been friends forever."
"I would be wary of him," James replied. "If I'm not mistaken, it would seem as though one of her dear friends has developed feelings for her. She should watch out for that."
"Oh..." was the only thing Eric could think of to say.
"But I shouldn't worry about Blair," he said, answering his own question. "I trust her. After all, she wouldn't go for someone like that, would she? She's classy."
"Right."
That wasn't really a lie, was it? Sure, Blair didn't go for that exact type. But her type was Chuck Bass and even some boy she picked up in Europe couldn't change that.
"He seems like a dreadful womanizer. Blair's smart."
Eric couldn't even lie anymore. Blair was smart. Blair was incredibly smart. She was smart if it didn't come to Chuck Bass. But when it came to him, all of her morals were compromised. Her heart went in before of her brain and Eric wasn't about to clue James into the fact of how she gave her virginity so willingly to the only person who could ever understand her. He definitely wasn't going to mention how Blair was still so obviously in love with Chuck Bass either.
Abandon
Look, I never should have abandoned you. I knew I made the wrong decision as soon as your plane took off. Distracted myself as summer, hoping I wouldn't feel it, but I still do.
And?
I was scared. I was scared if we spent the whole summer together, just us, that you'd see.
See what?
Me.
Chuck squinted up at the ceiling. It was dark and dank in his room. The way he liked it. This was where he could wallow and take pity on himself in piece. In all honesty, he was sort of hiding from his father. Not to mention Serena. He couldn't imagine what parts of him would be removed when she found out--
Chuck groaned as he pulled himself into a sitting position on the floor. He fumbled around in the darkness for his glass of scotch that was probably under his desk where he left it in his drunken haze. Fate would have it that he found his phone instead. Fate hated him and wanted to punish him. He had the same train of thought. He glanced at the time. He should be there. Right now. He shouldn't be practically unconscious on his bedroom floor in a stupor of liquor.
The minute on his phone clicked the the next one. And the jet was off. At this very moment, she was under the impression that he was coming for her. He wished he could. But she was too smart. She would see the thing in him that connected them in the first place. She would see that he wasn't who she thought he was all along. He was just this messed up person who would always pray on her emotions. She would see that he had been lying to her all along and he couldn't have that. He would rather her hate him eternally than know the truth.
Chuck lurched to his feet, his fingers clasped over the curve of the glass. He brought it to his lips but couldn't take a drink. It tasted too much like him. He groaned and in a fit of rage threw it against the wall. It shattered into a million pieces.
Like him.
His packed suitcase was still on his bed. He couldn't take the sight of it. He started throwing clothes out until his room was cluttered with it. He collapsed onto his clothing on the floor. He hated himself so much. She deserved so much better than him. But he had to go and fall in love with her.
His eyes hesitated on the garbage can in front of him. He reached out his hand and stroked the petals of the ruined bouquet of roses that lay crumpled and sad. He didn't hear the door open.
"You're not going."
Chuck closed his eyes at the somber sound of Eric's voice. He couldn't take his conscience, let alone the one person who was smarter than all of them.
Eric looked around the room. Chuck could really be melodramatic when he wanted to be. It was dark. The lights were turned off and the shades were drawn as though he were in mourning. He looked at the shattered glass on the floor which alerted his attention to begin with. There were clothes everywhere and Chuck was just laying on the floor.
"Hiding from Serena?"
"Hiding from myself."
"You could still go," Eric suggested.
"No," Chuck said curtly. "I can't. Because I'm--"
"Chuck Bass," Eric sighed. "I know."
Chuck didn't have it in him to laugh. Not now. Not anymore.
"Despicable," Chuck corrected. "That was what I was going to say."
"You've been in here the whole time?" Eric asked, sitting on Chuck's bed, ironically the only thing that wasn't rumpled.
"I don't want to disappoint them."
"Them?"
"Serena will hate me."
Eric nodded. Despite Chuck's outward facade, he really loved having a family. He didn't want to one he just acquired to detest him as well.
"You know my father really liked her."
Eric's brows furrowed.
"He told me. At the wedding. He said she was... special. For me. And I was the one who couldn't bear being a boyfriend that I had to abandon her. I could go after her. I know I made a mistake. But that's just me. I'm so screwed up that I just can't."
"Maybe she'll understand," Eric offered. "If you told her that."
"No," Chuck said again. "No. She doesn't deserve it. I don't hate her, remember?"
"I know. But you can't stay here and wallow."
"Like some chick," Chuck sneered.
"That's not what I meant."
"I know. But I know I can't stay either."
He finally heaved himself to his feet, walking on his clothing and broken glass to get out of his den of oppression. Eric flicked on the lights. Chuck squinted and immediately turned his eyes away from his reflection in the mirror. He couldn't take it in. He couldn't look at himself. He was disgusted with himself.
"Distracting yourself won't help," Eric pointed out. "You do know that."
"I know," Chuck said, hesitating at the door. "I'll still be the terrible person inside. But at least her face won't be haunting my psyche."
Eric didn't want to be the one to tell him that it was quite the opposite. The more he slept randomly with women, the more her face would haunt him. But Eric didn't have to tell him that. He would figure that on his own.
