Okay, so I'm starting something new. I'm one of those writers that I have to have a ton on my plate or I get bored. I do plan on finishing all of my WIPs, but I wanted to try something different. Anyhow, this will be a drabble-ish fic. My chapters will be a thousand words or less, unless the chapters lend themselves to something longer (i.e., a lemon…). We're also going to be switching back and forth, every five chapters between our two favorite characters, Edward and Bella…
As always, none of this is mine. I'm just the perv who want to make our beloved Twilight characters swear, drink, and go at it like horny rabbits. This story will be a combination of love, suspense, some violence and steamy, sweaty sex.
On with it!
Chapter Twenty-Nine
By the time I came over to Bella's, it was well after midnight. I saw Alice's car still parked on the street. Finding parking around the corner, I jogged to Bella's home. My parking karma doesn't work at midnight, sweet girl. Knocking on the door, Jasper opened it up. He looked very concerned. "What's wrong?"
"She's been somewhat catatonic ever since we got back here. Alice is laying with her on her bed, but it's like she's not all there," he said. "I'm worried for her. She needs help. Obviously what happened to her is haunting her and she keeps slipping further into this depression. Did you ever talk about it today? Has she seen somebody?"
"We didn't talk today about what happened. So, I don't know," I shrugged.
"Alice said that you can go right up, per Bella's request. You really reached her. Perhaps you can convince to get her the help that she needs. I've got some grief counselors and therapists, if she's interested," Jasper said. "I've got to go. Emmett is crashing with me tonight since I assume you're probably going to stay here, right?"
"Yep. Where is Emmett?"
"Standing guard. You know how he is when women are brutalized," Jasper said, giving me a grimace. "It goes back to his sister…He wants to save them all because he couldn't save Felicity."
Emmett's sister went away to college. She was a beautiful, vivacious, female version of my best friend. One night, she was walking home from a study group when she was brutally attacked by a group of freshman, rushing to get into a fraternity. They had to gang rape a girl. They took it too far and Felicity, Emmett's once bubbly sister is now a permanent resident of a nursing home because she was beaten nearly to death and sustained substantial brain trauma. He visited her as often as he could, but the facility that she's in was closer to his parents in southern Illinois, just outside of Edwardsville.
Walking up the stairs, I saw my best friend, standing like a sentry at Bella's door. He looked as haunted as Bella did. "You okay, Em?" I asked.
"Yeah. I'm fine. I'll see you tomorrow, Edward. I hope that you can make her better," he chuckled sadly.
"No pressure," I snorted. Emmett rolled his eyes before he crushed me to his chest. With a hard smack to my back, Emmett darted down the stairs. I walked into Bella's room. Alice was laying in the bed, holding our new friend, running her fingers through her long hair. Bella was holding a picture frame, sleeping fitfully. "Is she okay?"
"She's a zombie," Alice murmured. "In this hollow voice, Bella said that she'd be fine by tomorrow. She's been dealing with all of this, essentially, on her own. Bella needs help, but I'm afraid that if we suggest it, she'll bolt."
"Little Bit, the help you're proposing isn't going to work if she doesn't want it. Now, I feel a little weird talking about Bella like she's not here, when she's using your boobs as pillow," I teased.
"I know she wanted you, Edward. I'm just a substitute," she said, getting up, causing the frame to fall out of Bella's arms. I picked it up, seeing a sonogram. "Oh, I was wondering that was. Bella was cooing at the picture. I thought it was she was talking to her Grams."
"Her baby," I frowned, caressing the glass. Alice kissed my cheek and left. I tucked the picture frame back into Bella's arms, locking up her house. I went back upstairs. Bella was awake, rubbing her eyes. "Hi…"
"Edward, you don't have to stay," she said, her voice raspy and hollow. "I'll be fine. I just need to…shower a hundred times."
"I don't have to stay, but I want to," I replied, crawling on her bed and sitting on it. "I feel like it's my fault."
"What happened tonight was not your fault. I'm just a magnet for douchebags," she quipped, holding her frame close to her body. "Present company excluded, of course. You're not a douche, are you?"
"I can be, but only to people who are douchebags to me," I snickered.
"That's perfectly logical," Bella said. She plucked at her bedspread. "I kind of heard you and Alice."
"Crap."
"No, crap. You both are right. I've been dealing with all of this heartache on my own. I know I'm not healthy, emotionally. Physically, I'm as good as I can get, but seeing a therapist doesn't appeal to me. I don't want to get in touch with my feelings. It sucks. What happened to me sucks and I have to deal with it," she said bitterly.
"Bella, I know it's different from what you're dealing with, but if we lose someone, either a victim or a coworker, on the job, we are not allowed back until we see a PTSD counselor, even just to process what had happened. I've been on the therapist's couch more times than I can remember, even with cases where we didn't lose someone. It's tough to try and process such a traumatic event without someone giving you and objective opinion," I explained. "Speaking someone will not bring back your baby girl, it can help you get over it. It can help you to move on from the hellish relationship you had with James."
"Maybe," she shrugged. "I just don't…I don't know. I've never told my story, not even to my Grams. The one person who should have had my back, my mother, wants me to go back into that toxic environment."
"Bella, you don't have to make a decision right now. What you were dealt obviously is impacting you still," I said, putting my hand on her leg. She flinched. "Sorry…"
"Don't apologize. I'm just a little raw," she said, placing her tiny hand on mine.
"Understandable so. Do you want me to stay?" I asked. She bit her lip, looking up at me.
"You don't have to," she murmured, but her movements indicated she wanted me to stay. Despite the situation with Bella and her panic attack, the night I spent with her in my arms was the best night's sleep I'd had. Ever.
"I really don't mind," I smiled crookedly.
"I'll be fine, Edward. You don't have to stay," she said, giving me smile. It didn't reach her eyes. She was throwing up her walls. "You have to go to work tomorrow."
"It's not a big deal," I pressed.
She blushed and twisted her hands. "I would really, um, just like to be alone. I don't want to keep you up," she whispered. "I'm sorry."
I could feel my heart shatter slightly at her dismissal. I wasn't about to force myself to stay. "Okay, Bella. You have my number, right?"
"Alice gave it to me," she said, smiling but her eyes were glazed with tears. "I have hers, too. Along with Jasper and Emmett's. I'll be fine. I just need to…I'm fine."
I nodded. She got up and led me to the main floor. She was jittery and jumpy, obviously still upset. I stopped at the door, looking at her with concern. "Sleep well, Bella," I whispered.
"Unlikely, but thank you," she giggled anxiously. "I did have fun earlier today. Really, I did. You're an awesome guy and…" She wrapped her arms around her slender waist, as if she was trying to hold herself together. I held out my arms, wanting to hug her. She shook her head, opening the door. Her walls were up in full force. Don't take it personally, Cullen. She's been hurt. Maybe you should just walk away.
I can't. I won't. I refuse to…
"You have my number," I murmured, dropping my hands and slipping out the door. It shut behind me.
I could hear her sobs as I walked away.
A/N: Before you all get all upset at me. Bella's effed up. Like royally. Obviously, there's a connection between her and Edward. She needs to get some help. Will this episode be the impetus? You'll have to wait and see. Leave me some…Bella needs the positive reinforcement.
