HamburgersAndRum had the awesome idea of having the Awesome Trio running a scam at a bar with 'magic' tricks. I had a lot of fun thinking of ideas of how they're going to do it. Poor drunks. XD

Sorry for the lateness. Got caught up in life and work so I didn't have much time. I'm not gonna bore you with details of my life so let's get on with this chapter. :)

1. If you're raising money to help a fellow country (or a human), don't let them know until the end. However, it's an option not to let them know about the good deed at all.

2. Schemes can be legal or not. (Try not to get arrested or worse.)

3. The schemes can range from a country's specialty to ideas from the news.

4. Countries can team up and work together.

5. Countries (or their pets) are allowed to crash other countries schemes, making them succeed or not. Everything is fair game when it comes to money.

The golden rule: If possible, don't spend money to make money.


The bar is rowdy with the drunks tonight. There are more customers than usual because of the open mic night. Men and women horribly sing along with the singer as they wave their beers in the air. The doors of the bar open to reveal the Awesome Trio: Prussia, America, and Denmark.

America is holding a large wooden box in his arms labeled in white 'Prop Box.' Prussia pats America's back in a friendly manner. He grins at the American deep in thought, which is kind of surprising. "No hard feelings about not getting the refund, right?" France and Spain are too busy doing work for their bosses so Prussia couldn't invite them along. So, he thought why not assemble the second best group, the Awesome Trio?

America snaps out of his thoughts and grins at him. "Don't worry about it. I'm good." Prussia must admit that he is still shocked (but he doesn't show it) that America has no hard feelings about the kissing booth and not getting his money back. America seemed fine when Prussia asked him if he wanted to run a scam at a bar with the Awesome Trio. For a while, he was so sure the American would try to get revenge via prank. America was still angry about the refund thing the last time Prussia saw him, which was at the convenience store in Norway.

Denmark wraps an arm around America's shoulder. "That's great. Now let's go scam some drunks. They'll be easy targets." The American smiles as he easily shifts the large prop box under his arm.

Prussia is pleased America agreed to join them. With America's super strength, they can bring along all the stuff they want. His cursed mistletoe inspired him to run a scam to perform 'magic' tricks at a bar. None of them obviously can do magic. (Not like he believes in it, anyway.) So they're going to resort to doing some cheap tricks.

Prussia looks at the crowded bar stools with the bartender serving the alcohol. He sizes up all the drinkers, determining which ones are the most drunk and gullible-looking. Denmark excitedly points to a man wearing a plain shirt and sweatpants. "I choose him. He looks wasted enough." The drunken man is swerving left to right in his seat. He's lucky not to have fallen to the floor yet.

Prussia grins. "You can go first. Make it good."

Denmark casually strides up to the man with America and Prussia closely following behind. Denmark catches the drunken man's attention by snapping his fingers. "You wanna see a cool magic trick? It'll be worth it."

The man cheerily smiles. "You're a wizard, Harry?" Prussia snickers into his hand. They got lucky: he's a happy drunk. He won't be a hassle to convince that they can do 'magic.'

America opens the prop box just as Denmark reaches his hand into it. He pulls out a plain black cloak and a pointy black hat. He puts them on and grabs a stick from the box, too. Denmark waves the stick in the man's face. "Of course I am. And for a small donation, I'll show you some magic."

The man's hand sloppily takes out some money and hands it to Denmark. The Dane slips into his pocket. Denmark is the one who's going to hold all the money they scam tonight.

Denmark chuckles, "I'll make the world go dark. All you have to do is close your eyes until the count of ten."

The man does as he's instructed to do. He shuts his eyes and struggles to stay still. Denmark begins the count with one. He takes out a blindfold from the prop box and wraps it around the drunk's eyes. When Denmark is satisfied with his work, he skips all the numbers and says, "Ten."

The man is silent for a moment. He asks, "I-I can't see."

Denmark remarks, "You're blind. The spell misfired and took your sight away instead of making the room dark."

America pipes in, "Sorry to say it's irreversible. Your sight is gone forever."

The man franticly claws at his blindfold. "Shit, I'm blind. How could do this to me, Potter!" He fails to realize the blindfold he's wearing. He drops to the ground with a scream. He rolls around the floor saying he'll behave and stay off alcohol if that's all it takes for his eye sight to return.

Denmark and America laugh hard at the 'blind' man's overreaction. Prussia shakes his head in disappointment. "Is that all you got? It's lame." He thinks the blindfold thing is unoriginal and cheesy. He could do better.

Denmark sends him a sly grin. "Oh, you think you can top that?"

Prussia smirks. "I know I can. Watch and learn from the master." He'll show them what an awesome trick is done. He turns his attention to the man sitting next to the 'blind' man's empty stool. He looks drunk enough.

Prussia grabs the man's attention and asks, "You like women, right?" The man happily agrees. Prussia takes a step back. He turns his body slightly to the side so he can get the objects easier from the box. He keeps the prop box out of the man's sight.

Prussia snickers a bit. "Then you'll love the spell I'm going to do. I'll make a woman appear." The man giggles in excitement.

Denmark whispers into America's ear, "Is he just going to call a woman over here? That's lame."

Prussia ignores their loud whispering. They'll see how amazing his 'magic' trick is. It's not as simple as they think it is. "Close your eyes and imagine a beautiful woman." The drunk man covers his eyes at his command. Denmark pick pockets the man's wallet and removes at the money. He returns the wallet after he's satisfied.

Prussia withholds his laughter as he slides the two melons up the man's shirt. He positions the melons at the right place. "You can look now. Kesesese~"

The man opens his eyes. He blinks and takes in his surroundings. He glares at Prussia when he doesn't see the woman he wanted. "Your magic sucks. There's no sexy woman."

Prussia laughs, "My spell misfired too and now you're a woman. Check your chest if you don't believe me."

The man cups his chest to find his 'boobs.' He stiffens as he stares at it. His hands drop to his sides in shock. The melons fall out of his shirt and rolls on the ground. The Awesome Trio freeze, unsure of the man's reaction to the new development.

The 'blind' man slumps back onto his seat. He gapes openly at the other drunk. "Your boobs fell off!" Prussia curses inwardly at him. His victim is sure to notice the missing 'boobs' now.

The man grips his chest. He screams, "Ahhh! I look like a man."

Prussia chimes, "Don't worry, your boobs will grow back." Denmark and America burst into laughter. Denmark leans over holding his chest. America's booming laugh attracts almost everyone's attention. Well, the sober and not nearly as drunk ones.

The 'woman' hasn't calm down. 'She' is a crying mess surrounded by other drunk women who hear 'her' distress. The women coo and tell assurances that 'her' boobs will defiantly grow back soon. They don't seem to realize the 'woman's' true gender.

The 'woman' cries, "Curse you Potter!"

Prussia chuckles, "I'm not Potter. I am Dumbledore." The Prussian puts on a pointy black hat and a long, flowing cloak.

Denmark has difficulty trying to stop his laughing. He wheezes, "Good one. Sorry I doubted your skills."

America manages to stop his laughing too. "I want a turn too! It's no fair you guys are having all the fun."

Prussia hums in thought. He should let the American have a chance. It's the least he can do because he's not forking up a refund. "Alright." He waggles his finger at him like a parent scolding their child. "But it better be a good one. No cheesy magic tricks, got it mister."

America gives a salute and keeps the prop box under one arm. "Yes sir! I'll make you proud, sir." America marches off looking for his next victim. The area they're in is getting really crowded with everyone comforting the 'woman.'

America exclaims, "I think I see England over there." Sure enough, the blonde gentleman is drinking to his heart's content at the end of bar stools. He drops the the cup he's drinking from and slumps forward onto the counter.

Denmark scratches his head. "I don't think he has much money left over from the kissing booth." Their victims from the kissing booth are low on cash. They're very overprotective of their wallets. It's gotten so bad they refuse to open them in front of the members of the Kissing Booth Company. (Both the official and unofficial ones.)

America ignores him and heads straight for England. Prussia and Denmark linger nearby, wondering what the American is going to do.

America gives a big smile and pats England's back. "Yo Iggy, let's go grab some burgers from McDonalds. You're paying." Prussia face palms at America's idiocy. He lost point of the objective.

The Englishman grumbles under his breath, "Be quiet Mint Bunny. I'm trying to rest."

Denmark leans into America's ears and quickly whispers, "We're not freeloading food right now. Do a magic trick. Ya know how much he raves on about it his black magic." Prussia is dumbfounded on how America screwed up the perfect opportunity. This scam is perfect for a drunk England. He won't shut up about his magic.

Prussia rubs his eyebrows irritably. "Leave the magic tricks to me and Denmark. Stick to being the luggage carrier."

A thought suddenly occurs to Prussia. Looking between England and America, he realized something. England referred America as 'Mint Bunny.' He asks, "Doesn't England react over dramatically to America when he's drunk?" This revelation silences the other two countries to reflect about it.

America remarks, "Now that you mention it, you're right." America sets the prop box on the floor. He grabs England's face off the counter and forces him to look him in the face. He slowly asks, "Who am I?"

England stares into his eyes. The countries hold their breaths as they await England's reaction. Prussia is not sticking around to hear England's sobbing. He doesn't have all night scamming people.

England slurs, "Bond. James Bond." It's silent for a few moments before they laugh loudly. America nearly drops England in his laughter.

Denmark holds his stomach. "H-He doesn't even recognize you." First he mistakes America for his imaginary friend and now James Bond. America doesn't even look like him.

A sly grin slips onto America's face. "I have one last act for the night to bring in all the money we can possibly get."

Prussia rolls his eyes. He doesn't trust him with another attempt. It's probably something stupid relating to hamburgers again. "Is it food related?"

America simply replies, "No." He doesn't elaborate what it is or anything. Not even a hint. The smile on America's face is creeping him out. It's not Russia or Belarus creepy, it's kind of unnatural. It has a small ominous and forbidding feel to it.

America's eyes flickers to the open mic stage towards the back of the bar. Denmark catches his eye movement. The Dane jokingly says, "Planning on singing up there?"

The former colony smiles at England. "I'm Bond and I have a mission for you. The British are the best spies so you are my first choice."

England pridefully replies, "Of course we are."


The countries are on the stage facing the crowd full of drunks and sober people. Denmark found a janitor's bucket in a supply closet earlier. It has sloppy writing reading 'tip jar.' They're going to put all the money that flies onto the stage into the bucket after their performance is over.

America is confidently speaking into the microphone explaining about their greatness and the awesome magic tricks they're going to perform. "Ladies and Gentlemen, we're going to do some mind blowing magic tricks here. Be sure to tip us…."

Prussia glances awkwardly at England. He's wearing his black waiter's skirt and cuffs. The skirt barely covers his family jewels. The women, and even some men, gaze at England hungrily. Prussia flashes back when it was only three minutes until they were supposed to go on stage.

Prussia leans against a bathroom stall, groaning with boredom in his voice. "Hurry up England. We're supposed to go on soon." Denmark and Prussia were satisfied with their wizard attire so they felt they didn't need to change. America, however, refused to change. Not even to anything James Bond related. He said he didn't need it " 'cause he's the hero."

The shuffling from inside the stall stops. The door slams open to reveal England in his infamous waiter outfit. Denmark, who is drinking beer, drops the bottle. It shatters on the ground. The brown shards scatter at his feet. Denmark gets control of his coughing fit. "W-Why are you wearing that!"

"It's classified." England seemed to have regained a sense a balance. He sobered up a little, just not enough. He still must be drunk since he's still following America's orders. The American fist pumps the air. "We're ready for action."

Denmark asks, "Why is he wearing that and…did you put it in the prop box?"

America sheepishly smiles, "I grabbed some random stuff and shoved it into the prop box. It came in handy in the end."

Prussia sighs. "You didn't answer the question." They deserve an answer if they have to stand next to England wearing it the entire time. America is not worming his way out of this.

America wraps his arm around England's shoulders. "Fan service. We gotta appeal to women too, ya know. It's only fair. We had a position for the magician's assistant so I thought we'd make more money with England. He still has those thin eyebrows that hypnotizes the chicks."

Prussia shudders. If it was a sexy female assistant on stage, he wouldn't be complaining. He'd have some trouble keeping his eyes off her body and lose focus while doing the performance. With England here, he wants his eyes anywhere but him.

America points at Denmark. "Hit the music!" America lines up next to the other two countries while England steps up to the mic. Denmark complies and presses the play button on the stereo. The lyrics of 'Sexy Back' comes out. England rubs his hands all over his chest and body, earning loud hoots and screams of excitement from the audience.

Denmark cups his hands over America's ear. "This isn't magic."

Prussia fumes as he watches England strut across the stage. America is a total copy cat. He's using his use-sexiness-to-woo-the-crowd formula. He bitterly remembers his car wash scheme forced to an abrupt end.

America whispers back, "Duh, this is the opening act. We gotta introduce our 'lovely' assistant."

Prussia whispers loudly, "I don't remember magic shows like this." He wouldn't mind if it was a sexy vixen on stage doing this instead of England. It's disturbing for him to watch the Englishman do this stunt.

"Since when do any of the countries do schemes the normal way?" Prussia agrees with America on this. Doing things the normal way is boring. It's more fun to spice things up. But this is going too far. He swears he sees a video camera somewhere in the audience. England's going to throw a fit if this ends up on YouTube, or even worse, France's Facebook page. The report button will be abused so much.

The crowd throws coins to the stage. The ones closest to the stage drop their money in the tip jar. The Awesome Trio hurriedly grab the coins and slip them into the jar. When the song ends, England stops into a sexy pose. He puts one on his hip, leans on one leg, and winks at the audience. They go ballistic and toss even more money. After the Awesome Trio quickly put the money in the almost full tip jar, America grabs the mic again. Prussia frowns. He wants to hog the spotlight too.

America smiles to the crowd. "Sorry ladies and gents, it's almost closing time." The crowd groans in disappointment. America winks at them. "Don't worry. We have one last special act for the night- er morning." Prussia doesn't like the look in America's eyes when he emphasized on the word special. He has a sneaking suspicion he's up to something.

He gestures to England. "My lovely assistant will get the box of mystery for us." As England walks across the stage, people hoot and whistle crudely. In response, the Englishman winks back. Prussia has a feeling England reverts to his former pirate self when he goes beyond his usual sad drunk self.

England comes back with a medium sized box and duck tape. America opens the box. "I will make Harry Potter disappear in the box of mystery."

A angry voice is heard over the crowd. "Fuck you Potter! Slytherin for the win!" Sounds like the 'blind' man is still angry about his sight. When he's sober enough he'll take off the blindfold himself.

America grabs Denmark's shoulders. Denmark protests. "I don't think I'll fit in there."

"Don't chicken out on me. Get in." The crowd shouts for him to get in the box repeatedly. Facing pressure from the crowd, Denmark reluctantly lifts himself into the box. America closes the box's flaps. He stretches the duck tape and wraps it around the box.

America smirks at his handy work. "For my final trick as a magician, I will make him disappear on the count of three." Prussia doesn't know what America is up to. He can't possibly trick everyone into thinking Denmark 'disappeared.'

"One….." America takes a few steps back, almost stepping on the tip jar.

"Two….." England's body tenses up.

"I choose you, Iggy!" England launches himself at Prussia and lands on him. The Prussian falls harshly on his back. He curses under his breath as he struggles to get free. He pushes against England's chest, failing.

Prussia moves his head to see America running off the stage with the tip jar in hand. He glares harshly at him. "What the hell are you doing?"

America, who is at the entrance of the bar, turns around. He smirks at him. "Americans don't let people who cheat them off the hook. Thanks for the refund, dudes."

The box Denmark is in falls to the side from all his punching and kicking. "What's going on!"

England shouts, "Get in the getaway car, Bond. I'll meet you at the rendezvous point." Prussia stares at England blankly. He doesn't even have anything to say anymore.

He grumbles, "Guess he was still pissed about the refund thing. We still have the scam money in Denmark's pocket, but still….."

Frugal money scheme: Success. Don't mess with Americans. Revenge is our specialty.


Rule update: Countries can team up and work together. (Be careful who you pick. The money might not be split evenly if you don't.)

Who would go to a magic show if England was doing it in his waiter's skirt? I know I would. XD

Because a lot of people would love to see the deleted scenes, I'll post it a few days (or sooner) after the time this chapter of Frugal Money Schemes is posted. I was thinking about writing deleted scenes after reading a review from Guest wondering about what happened during Romano's birthday party scheme. I wondered how to go about this. At first I thought about posting a bonus chapter plus a regular chapter at the same time. I wasn't willing to do that.

After I posted more chapters, more deleted scenes started to pop up. Because of that, I decided maybe I should post a side fic containing all the deleted scenes. I don't want to keep them to myself and eventually forget about them.

You'll never know what you say in a review will inspire me to do. ;)

Pastadream: I'll do a New Zealand chapter trying to raise the funds for Christchurch quake. :) I have to do some research first. PMs giving me some pointers will be appreciated. It'll get the chapter out faster, too.

Erin Elric: Speaking of spin offs, I'm planning on doing at least six of them for this fic. (Maybe more if I feel up to it.) It's been flowing around my mind for a few months but I've never mentioned it. Some will have a focus on money while others do not. The spin offs will expand the countries' original ideas. I'll write in the author's notes in Frugal Money Schemes when a spin-off is posted. The spin offs will usually be sequels to a chapter and won't follow later chapters of Frugal Money Schemes. The first spin-off might be China's. I already know how the chapters will go so it's a possibility it might be posted first, unless I feel rather strongly to write one of the other spin offs first.

It'll be a while before a spin-off is posted. I want to post a few more chapters of my other Hetalia fic "The Masked Toilet Incident" before I post a spin-off. I should get around to updating that fic… ^^*

Purestrongpoem: The Three women are just minor OCs. I'm not referencing anyone this time. These women will make one more brief appearance in another scheme in the future.

Sakura Ichigo Morihiko: One of your theories is on the right track. I won't confirm which one. Everyone will find out what Hong Kong is not supposed to have in the next chapter. :)

Guest: It is official: South Korea is the King of all Trolls and Scheme Crashers. He doesn't even need to be there to crash a scheme. XD There's going to be more animal schemes in the future. I'm glad you like them.