For Only You

Gaila was correct? Nyota closed out of the file of Starfleet Academy Guidelines, on her computer, amazed that Gaila had not only been correct in her recollection of the guidelines in regards to being involved with Starfleet personnel, but she had been accurate. Gaila was not known for her accuracy, on numerous occasions. However, this time, she knew exactly what she was talking about. Nyota credited this Oscar teacher for that. He must have told Gaila these things. It wasn't like Gaila to read the guidelines in so much depth as to memorize it. Most things, she knew the gist of, but this, Regulation 251, she was extremely efficient in her knowledge of. Now, she had put it on Nyota's mind.

Nyota sighed, unsure of why she even looked it up, anyway. Had she not said herself, several times that her feelings were not going to matter to Spock? Surely, he knew of this guideline, he knew all the protocol for Starfleet, as though his brain kept the handbook in his memory database. If he was interested in pursuing his feelings for her, he could have told her about this. What was she thinking? If he was interested in her? Spock didn't even understand the concept of "being interested" in someone, did he? He understood interest in someone as it related to studying people and behavior and coming to scientific logical conclusions, but he didn't dream about anyone, did he? She dreamed about him on numerous occasions, and now she felt embarrassed for even thinking about him. She felt like she was not using her brain properly.

It had been simpler to just imagine that inside of that head of his, he cared more for her than just a sprinkle of lust in his eyes, here and there. It was fun to think that within him were emotions deeply rooted in love, but no outlet for him, only because of his ways of logic and lack of knowledge in emotionalism. Now, she was really starting to think that she had been living in her own dream, imagining that she noticed hints of love from the Vulcan, and even denying the emotions that he confessed to harbor for her.

She closed her PADD, then readied her computer to send Spock a message. She recorded it, and decided that she would only do it once. She cleared her throat, pressed record and began to speak, looking at her screen, "Spock, I have a great deal on my mind, and I have been trying to make these markings for you, but I can not concentrate enough to do so. I am going to have to finish them in the morning and give them to you then, instead of tonight, as I initially planned." She sat still for a while, then added "My roommate told me about your exchange, and I apologize for that." She now looked at her hands and noticed that they had began to tremble. "I need to talk to you. We need to talk about this week. I feel like I am a teenager again, the way that I have been acting, and I really want to fully discuss all of our options. And, I want to know what you think about Starfleet Regulation 251, in the guidelines." She quickly reached out and deleted the message. The best thing to do right now, was to take a long, hot bath.

She hardly ever took baths anymore, but she found herself so tense, that she felt

this would be the perfect time. Her baths were lavished with fragrant flowers and oils, to soothe her body and her senses simultaneously. It began to work, after a short period of time. As she sat in the tub, she heard her computer announce that she had a message. She sighed and pulled herself from the comfort of the water to check the message, in case it was important. She wrapped herself up in a green towel and forced herself to go to the computer. When she saw Spock's face in the screen, she bit her lip. The message from Spock was sent as a "reply". She gasped and covered her mouth. Certainly, she had not accidentally sent the message, instead of deleting it? She wasn't that out of it, was she? With trembling fingers, she ventured upon the touch screen to play the message.

Spock seemed the same as always, not even his eyes were any different as he said, "Lt. Nyota, do not worry about the time frame which you originally set. I am sure that you will complete the markings in an acceptable portion of time." She collapsed onto the chair. She HAD sent the message, instead of deleting it! Spock continued on, "You have no need to apologize for your roommate's behavior, as you are not responsible for it, therefore it is illogical for you to apologize for it." Now he paused and thought for a moment, and she noticed the shift in his eyes, from apathetic to slightly concerned, for the shortest of time. He concluded with, "I am rather curious about your interest in Regulation 251, and I believe the conversation requires a somewhat extensive focus. We could discuss this, at your convenience, any time after my parents leave on their shuttle this evening." The message ended.

She sat staring at the now still image of Spock on the screen, as though waiting for something else to be said. She turned her head away in thought. Requires a somewhat extensive focus? What did that mean? Would Spock actually consider participating in a relationship with her, beyond their work parameters? She got up to return to the tub, so that she could finish washing and head out to the shuttle boarding area.

When she reached the boarding area, dressed beautifully in a satin emerald colored blouse and a pair of cream colored pants that hugged her slim hips, she found Amanda standing in the center of a small group of people, talking brightly. Spock and Sarek were both standing somewhat nearby, positioned tall and nobly, as though posing for a portrait.

Nyota noticed that Spock's mind seemed to be processing things other than his mother's entourage. As Nyota came closer, she heard Amanda saying, "Honestly, I never get this type of acknowledgment on Vulcan. I certainly will miss the warmth and attention from everyone before we even make it half way back!" A few of the people laughed lightly at her statement, and the small talk continued on.

As Nyota walked into their midst, Sarek looked at Spock. Spock did not seem to notice his father, at all, as his eyes were focused attentively on the cadet. Amanda's face brightened some when she saw Nyota. The Lady began to wish everyone well and the crowd began to disperse, little by little. Sarek observed that not once since Nyota arrived had Spock taken his eyes off of her. Spock seemed deeply engulfed in his focus of her as Sarek asked him, "Have you changed your intentions?"

Spock looked directly at Sarek and replied, coolly, "Actually, Father, it would be the best solution for Nyota and I to speak about our intentions, and once we have accomplished that, then I will be more at liberty to share with you the outcome of our decision."

Sarek lifted both of his eyebrows briefly and said, "You have changed your intentions." Spock did not respond. He simply looked at Nyota standing in front of his mother.

When only the four of them remained in the vicinity, Nyota quietly asked Amanda, half agitated, half teasingly, "Do you have any idea what I have been through this week?"

Amanda glanced at her two Vulcans and nodded, quite certainly. She admitted in a casual voice, "I believe I have a general idea." Nyota looked at Spock, looking at her, while Amanda asked, "How do you feel right now?"

Nyota faced Amanda again, leaned towards her and replied, fearlessly, "Like a fighter."

Now, Amanda looked up towards the heavens with a bright smile, then wrapped Nyota up in a warm hug. As they shared the hug, Nyota looked at Spock, whose facial expression was unreadable, though she could tell that his eyes were directed towards her. Amanda broke the hug to look into Nyota's face and say, "I hope that you continue to fight. It may sound biased, but my son is worth it. I believe that you know that in your heart." Nyota sighed and nodded her head, which struck another smile from Amanda.

Nyota reached for Amanda's hands and asked, solemnly, her own body shaking vigorously, "Do you really think that Spock could ever love me?"

Amanda looked directly at Spock as he continued to gaze upon Nyota and she turned back to the younger woman and said, "I would go so far as to say that I really believe that he already does. Granted, you may never hear him say it... You have to be thankful for your skills in translations. Spock's eyes speak a language, all on their own, which I am sure you have noticed." Nyota nodded and Amanda went on to say, "And in his eyes are words that his lips may never translate, for you. Fortunately, both you and I can translate, for ourselves, the language of his one human characteristic, his eyes."

Sarek approached the two women, with his hands behind his back. Nyota marveled at how much like him Spock was. The tall Vulcan looked at Nyota and announced, "It is not my intention to cut your farewell short. However, the Lady Amanda and I must be boarding our shuttle at the present time." Amanda held her two fingers out and Sarek's two fingers met them, which puzzled Nyota. She made a mental note that she would have to ask Spock what that meant, some time. She remained silent as Amanda told Sarek, "We were just wrapping up, Dear."

They lowered their hands and Sarek stated, "I understand that, Amanda; however, it does not change the fact that now is the time for us to board." He returned his hands behind his back and stared at his wife as though forcing her with his eyes to move in the direction she needed to move in.

Amanda sighed softly and said, "It has been a pleasure being in your company, Nyota Uhura. Be especially kind to my son, in my absence."

Nyota smiled and said, "I usually do."

After his parents boarded the shuttle, Spock came to stand next to Nyota with his hands placed behind his back. Nyota was looking at everyone boarding the shuttles and Spock broke into her thoughts by saying, "My mother worried that she upset you. I believe it pleased her for you to be here to see her off."

Nyota nodded, but continued to look at the shuttles, somewhat frightened to lay her eyes on his face, with him standing so close. She answered, "It pleased me to be here to see her off. She is a wonderful woman. I don't know what to say about your father, though. He doesn't seem to like me very much."

Spock replied candidly, "He thinks that you are very logical for a human." Nyota now looked at Spock, out of reflex (about to inform him that she did not take that as someone liking her), but when she saw him, she lost whatever words were about to come out of her mouth. Spock's lips curled into that almost smile that drove her crazy and she laughed lightly at herself for her pause. Spock asked, "Does that amuse you?"

She shook her head and laughed a little bit harder, then responded, "No. That wasn't amusing at all, and I wasn't laughing at that. Spock, do you want to walk with me?"

Spock seemed to genuinely consider the response to this question before finally saying, "Vulcans do not generally walk out of want. Walking is a means to get from one place to another, and in some cases as a means of building the leg muscles. If you have a location to arrive at, I am willing to escort you there." Nyota rolled her eyes and began to walk away, slowly. After a few steps, she stopped at looked at him with questioning eyes. He began to walk to catch up with her and when he did, accidentally brushed against her backside, which cause her to jump. He quickly stepped back and offered, "I apologize."

She touched his chest shook her head and softly said, "Don't."

She began walking again, with him now next to her. She smiled at him and said, "You know, even though I don't know your mother that well, I'll bet if you had been raised around humans, she would be the cool mom." Spock's face revealed his unfamiliarity with this concept, so Nyota expounded, "The cool mom is a human mother who relates so well and interacts so comfortably with their child and/or their child's friends that they see her more as a friend than a mother, and everyone tries to claim her as their honorary mother. It's a compliment among human youth."

Spock sighed and replied, "My mother has told me many times of her magnetism within human social settings, and I have witnessed this a small number of times, this evenings events included. Humans seem to be drawn to her, for some reason."

Nyota explained, "Because she's a great person."

Spock refuted her opinion with the candid statement, "I have found her to be quite overbearing and meddlesome."

Nyota quickly turned towards him in disbelief and said, "I will definitely allow you to get away with meddlesome. Meddlesome fits, but overbearing? Didn't you tell me once that when you were little, your parents left you out in the wild to fend for yourself, as some sort of Vulcan childhood ritual? You think that an overbearing mother would allow such a thing? I AM overbearing, and I don't care what percentage of my child is a different species, I would never allow such a thing to take place in my child's life. It takes a strong woman to have raised someone like you, Spock, and she seems to have done it with great grace and delicacy."

Spock nodded and added, "And in submission to my father's wishes. Perhaps I selected the improper term in utilizing the word "overbearing". I must admit that their methods of parenting would probably be described by most humans as "laid back". They allowed me to make my own decisions in most things. My mother however, will tell me to make my own decisions while sharing the decisions which she believes I should make."

Nyota shrugged her shoulders and defended Amanda with the words, "That's natural."

Spock looked at her point blank and corrected, "It is irrational."

Nyota nearly snapped at him, but caught herself in time enough to simply state her own opinion once again, "It's human."

Spock did not reply to this, because Nyota seemed to be in high spirits, and if he had told her at this point that humans by nature were irrational, that may have negatively affected the course of the conversation. Nyota felt a breeze pass by which caused her to hug herself for warmth. She changed the specific subject to her own parents. "My mother and father are overbearing and they are very strict. From the time that I learned to talk, they began getting me all of these academic baby toys. By the time I learned to read, any time that they got me a toy, they also got me a book on my age level or a bit higher. Before I could play with the toy, I had to complete the book. This continued throughout my life, up until I left for Starfleet. They got so accustomed to it, that if they get me a gift today, it will have a book included." She laughed with fondness of her parents. "Isn't that a little ridiculous?"

Spock lifted an eyebrow and answered, "Your parents' practice seems to be a logical technique to program a young human mind to believe that knowledge is more important than recreation. Perhaps the toy served as a reward for the pursuit of learning. I believe that their method shaped you into the brilliant woman who you are today. Therefore, it has not been the slightest level of ridiculous."

She smiled at him and said, "I'm grateful for them. But sometimes, I just wanted the toy. Sometimes, I hated the book, but got through it just to get the toy. I considered it them bribing me to read. However, today, it's like you said – they made me who I am. They are the reason that I work hard for everything that I want. That doesn't really mean it was fair to do teach me that way."

Spock replied, "Consider yourself still fortunate. Were the child in the situation my child, there would be no toy given."

Nyota frowned and asked, "You don't believe in children having toys?"

Spock looked directly at her and said, "I do not believe that parents should waste any of their child's time and energy in a frivolous manner. There are acceptable toys, like those you mentioned, academic toys. Games which challenge the intellect and develop the mind are also permissive; however, I can not imagine having such an invention as a baby rattle or a teddy bear in my child's possession."

Nyota laughed out loud at this confession. She liked the thought of Spock thinking about having a child at some point, and especially liked the fact that he shared a portion of his expectations for his child with her. Soon, he seemed to be in what she called "processing mode". He was making a face that indicated that his brain was working on something.

Spock looked around for a moment, then at Nyota, as he said, "Lt, I believe that I miscalculated your invitation earlier. I assumed that I was escorting you to a particular destination, however within the last fifteen minutes and twenty seven seconds, we appear to have been walking quite aimlessly . Is there a specific location to which I am accompanying you?"

She shrugged her shoulders and stated, "Not really. I just wanted to take a walk with you and talk. You didn't have to come along, as you don't see the point in taking a walk, but you are already doing it, so we may as well continue. If you would rather go and do something more meaningful than walk the campus and talk to me, I'll completely understand. But if you would continue to "walk quite aimlessly" with me while we talk, I certainly would appreciate your company." Spock responded with, "At the current moment, I can think of nothing else more meaningful than talking with you." He said it without emotion, and seemingly detached from significance, as though it were a simple observation, but it made Nyota smile inside to hear him say such a thing. He continued with, "If we are going to walk as we do so, then perhaps the aimless walking may be given purpose." Another breeze passed them by and Spock noticed Nyota shivering a little. He told her, "If you require the usage of my cloak, I will be more than willing to cover you in it."

She looked at him, her eyes a bit damp from the wind, combined with the sweet offer (which he did not even realize was sweet, and never did realize when he was sweet) and she asked, softly, "You don't mind?" In response, he took his cloak off and wrapped it around her shoulders as they continued to walk. She said, "Thank you, Spock. you are a really good friend, even if you don't know how to be. I can only guess that your mother rubbed off on you."

He lifted an eyebrow and replied, "My genes are stronger than yours and it is easier for me to adapt to surrounding climate than it is for a full human. You were cold and I had something that could diminish your discomfort. It was only logical that I offer it to you." She was not going to debate with him about whether or not he was a good friend. After a moment of silence, Spock said, "If the purpose of our walking revolves around talk, then I have to suggest that we proceed in doing so."

She nodded in agreement and asked, "What should we talk about, now?"

Spock, without missing a beat or even thinking it over replied, "We should discuss the message that you sent me earlier."

Nyota's eyes broadened at his mention of the message. Things had been going so well that she had forgotten that she sent it. She spoke, "I didn't mean to send that, you know. I went to touch delete, and I accidentally selected send."

Spock blinked his eyes once and said, "That is irrelevant to the fact that you did indeed create and send the message to me. The way that it was sent does not take away from the substance of the message."

Nyota stopped walking and, without facing him, said, "I actually don't want to talk about that right now, with us being out in the open like this. I would much rather that be discussed in a private setting. Can I come over tonight? We could have dinner, just the two of us, if that idea is not too illogical."

She dared a peek at his attentive face and found herself delighted when he answered, smoothly, "It sounds perfectly logical to me. I am inclined to say I find it much more logical than talking while walking without any given destination."

Nyota laughed with her face towards the sky and said, "Alright, Spock! I will never have you take a walk with me to talk ever again!" She looked at him and merely gazed at him smiling, for several moments before turning her face coyly to the ground. Spock spoke now, in a very low voice, almost a whisper, to ask, "Would you consider fulfilling a request for me?" She looked up at his calm face and was a little confused by the earnestness in his eyes.

"Is there something in particular that you want me to prepare for dinner?"

He placed his hands behind his back and tilted his head a little as he replied, "No, it isn't about the dinner itself."

She snuggled herself up in his cloak as she asked, "What is it, then?"

He thought for a moment, because he did not want to word his request improperly. When he finally spoke, he said, "When we had dinner with my parents, you managed to excel the quality of your appearance to a degree which I did not know could be accomplished. I am requesting, if you would accept, that you be willing to look that way for only me." Nyota gave him a closed lip smile and Spock lowered his head for a brief moment, looked up, blinked, and said, "Please allow me to paraphrase, as I am somewhat convinced that I may have used the wrong terminology..." Nyota reached out and touched his shoulder, which caused him to become silent and incredibly still. She looked upon him with caring eyes and said, "The request is acceptable, Spock. I believe that I will be delighted to look that way for only you."

Once again, she turned and began to walk and Spock walked right beside her and looked at her. She looked at him and smiled happily and as he looked at her, he almost smiled back.

This saga continues in the story Illogical Progression. Thank you for reading and hope to hear from you soon!