a first time (that wasn't) (until it was)


The first time someone mistakes them for being together, it doesn't happen at a bar and it's nnot Linda Park. Instead, it happens about two months earlier.

To be precise, it happens at the police station, shortly after (which is to say within an hour of) defeating Snart and his new associate.

As soon as Barry takes off the Flash suit—burned and bruised but undeterred—he speeds his way back to the station, beating even Joe, Eddie and Caitlin there. He waits on pins and needles (a phrase that he's never understood quite so well as he does now, having been simultaneously burned and frozen, yet feeling like waiting to see a safe and sound Caitlin is the most excruciating part of his day). When waiting by the stairs to his lab proves too challenging, he starts pacing by the front desk, wearing an imaginary path in the linoleum as he shuffles along. Officer Adam Nills, a stout fellow of nearly 60 with a short, scruffy beard shot through with gray, raises a brow at the behavior but continues at his own work.

After what seems like forever, Barry sees the flash of lights pull into the lot and he barely forces himself to let them walk in before he's striding down the hallway and scooping her into his arms, letting the movement hide the way his hands are shaking just slightly.

It's always so easy to be affectionate with Caitlin, but this is hardly affection. It's desperate and clinging and if he hadn't been so scared and felt so guilty, he might feel embarrassed as eyes fall on the pair of them, a shaking, tangled mess. But he doesn't even notice them and has no energy to spare for embarassment, especially when Caitlin pulls him even closer, burying her face against his collarbone while Barry runs a hand along her back and mutters an alternating prayer of apologies and 'thank God you're safe's'. They remain that way for a long time, ignoring the officers who eventually blink back their surprise and part to walk around them, holding tight and breathing deeply until they're both sure that they're both going to be okay.

It's only when his shaking (which is nothing at all like the vibrating that sometimes comes from moving too quickly, instead honest tremors borne of a mix of relief and terror colliding head on) subsides and her heart rate slows that they pull away. Barry slips on a warm but weary smile as he looks down at her and shakes his head. "Never again," he chokes, meeting her gaze as the sting of emotion gathers at the corners of his eyes. "I will never let anyone hurt you ever again." His voice thins and breaks halfway through, but he manages to get the words out. "I'm so sorry Caitlin."

Caitlin shakes her head and launches into her own apology. She's in the middle of it when they're interrupted by Joe calling from the opposite end of the hallway, standing next to Office Nills' desk while he watches the scene play out between them. His voice is gentle with understanding, a hint of rough emotion indicating just how worried he too had been for the young woman. "We need to interview Caitlin so we can let her go home."

They both nod and finish the delicate process of extricating themselves, but Barry grabs her hand before she gets too far away and Caitlin doesn't protest. Usually she's the one who needs a touch to calm and reassure, but today he feels like maybe he's the one who can't steady himself without feeling the warmth of her skin. Hands clasped together, he walks her to the interview room where Joe and Eddie are now waiting, hovering a long moment before he releases her and steps out, standing guard outside the door as if the action can erase the last two days of hell they've all been through. The door closes between them and Barry heaves a sigh.

Somewhere from behind him, he hears a familiar chuckle. "Your little lady is going to be just fine Barry, heard Joe say she was one hell of a tough customer."

He's torn at how to respond—Caitlin would absolutely bristle at anyone calling her little lady and he feels like he owes her a defense on that, but he gets caught on the other implication of Adam's words the moment he lets his anger subside. Feeling a little bit of a pang at the admission, foreign and quickly pushed away, he replies, "We're not like that Adam," and leaves it at that.

The older officer looks skeptical but shrugs it off easily, wearing the same old goodhearted grin Barry sees him wear every day. "If you say so Barry," he's placating him, but he doesn't have the energy to be annoyed—suddenly all he wants to do is sleep. He debates crashing on the bench outside the interview room, but all of a sudden, Nills's voice is filling the silence again. "Word of advice though kid," he's not the only officer to refer to Barry that way, but he's one of the few that Barry knows means it kindly. "A woman like her's one of a kind, don't wait too long to change your mind on that."

If there's more to say, Adam Nills doesn't say it, just turns back to work and starts calling around to other officers and filling out paperwork. Barry's off duty and refuses to leave his post, so he just ignores the bustle of officers around him.

He's half asleep standing on his feet thirty-five minutes later when the door finally opens and Caitlin steps out. She looks a lot calmer then before—Eddie and Joe have been careful with her and have clearly taken the time to debrief her from the experience. Barry resolves to thank them later, especially when Eddie says the magic words, "You're good to go Caitlin, why don't you head home for some rest. You deserve it."

In that moment, he steps forward, smiling hesitantly, not certain Caitlin will like his proposition. "I'll take you home Caitlin," he offers, surprised but pleased by the easy way Caitlin sidles over to his side the moment she spots him.

"That'd be great," since she doesn't have a car for a bit yet, still frozen and in police custody, even a flash-speed ride sounds wonderful.

So they walk out of the station and around a corner and then Barry scoops her up in his arms and takes her home—except home is his apartment and not hers, something that even Caitlin isn't too tired to miss.

"This is definitely not what my apartment looks like Barry," she explains, puzzled as he sets her down in front of an unfamiliar door, down an equally unfamiliar hallway.

"Nope, it's mine," he holds up a hand immediately, sensing her argument before she's even parted her lips. "And before you say anything, just hear me out. I don't think you should be alone tonight—I don't trust Captain Cold, you've gone through a lot and, honestly, I don't think I'm going to want to let you out of my sight for at least a day." A week really or maybe six, but he knows that's unreasonable. One night he can probably swing.

For a long, stretching moment they stand in front of his door watching one another. Caitlin still looks ready to argue—one of the many things she's good at—but Barry is tenacious as a badger and he's not going to give an inch on this one. Rather than add to his argument, he slides his key in the door and opens up to the living room of his surprisingly tidy home. "Fine," he hears her sigh, the second he steps in. Caitlin follows, closing and locking the door immediately behind her.

"Thank you," is all he can say in reply, relieved at the prospect of having her close, safe and sound and reassuring. He speeds off briefly, returning with a set of sweats he knows will be a little loose on her and nodding down the hallway. "You can use these for pajamas and take my bed for the night—sheets are all fresh." Advantages of super powers, after all.

For all her initial attempts at protesting, she takes the offered stack of cotton easily enough and treads barefoot down the hall to a bathroom to wash up and change. Ten minutes later she exits to find Barry piling blankets on his couch and gives a long glance in the direction of both his living room and bedroom. "Hey Barry," he turns, giving her a curious look, eyes soft. "Do you wanna just sit and watch a movie in your room for awhile?"

It's rare that Caitlin Snow allows her vulnerabilities show to anyone, but Barry seems to be the exception, even in this extreme case. It's a position he values intensely, knowing he's come to feel the same way about Caitlin. Office Nills might have been off on his assumption, but he hadn't been wrong that what they do have is special, something he values deeply, which makes it only natural to reply with a grin and an "of course", before scooping up his laptop and favorite blanket and flashing himself and a laughing Caitlin to his room, a movie playing before she even hits the comforter.

They fall asleep halfway through the movie and, save for the computer digging into his thigh, wake up the next morning comfortable and gravitated together. Barry starts to wonder about Adam's comment to second he opens his eyes to find a curtain of dark curls spilling across his pillow.


So this initially started out as a story about all the times people thought they were together but I clearly have lingering feelings about Caitlin's kidnapping and so this happened, even though I've already done a post-ep fic for that. No one has much seemed to mind so far, so hopefully you guys don't either.

I do have a follow up fic for this, which I'll post in the next few days if you guys like it. Plenty of stories coming, this one was initially written for Snowbarry week about a month ago-the 'firsts' prompt.

Let me know what you think-suggestions for improvement and other stories always welcome!

Take Care & Best Wishes,

A.O.R.