I was about to go to work one day when I noticed Anya wasn't feeling good. I offered to stay home with her but she forced me to go. She said she'd be fine and she'd call me if she needed anything. I was expecting her to call me but she never did. At that time, I didn't think much of her being sick. I thought it was just a bad cold and she'd get over it. I was wrong.

I came home that night to find Anya sweating, shivering, and throwing up.

"I'm taking you to the doctors" I said.

"No, I'll be ok. It's just a cold" said Anya.

"Anya, this isn't a cold. Please let me take you to the doctors" I pleaded.

"Alright but let's go tomorrow. I'm too tired to go today" she said. I called the doctor and made an appointment for her the next day. Dr. Irene said we'd have to meet her at her office at the hospital downtown. Once I was done talking to her, I called Dave. I explained to him what was going on and he gave me the whole day off. I thanked him profusely and went to bed.

THE NEXT DAY AT THE HOSPITAL

The waiting room was freezing and empty. Everybody was probably at work or school. Anya looked worse than the day before. She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was wet from sweating so much. She really didn't want to be there but she had no choice.

"Anya" called a nurse. We got up and followed her to Dr. Irene's office. It looked just like the office at the other building, except this one was blue. Dr. Irene ran some blood test on Anya and said that we'd get the test results in just a couple of minutes. I guess that was the good part about having a doctors office at the hospital, you get test results faster. We waited in Dr. Irene's office for what seemed like hours. Got even worse before the test results came back.

Dr. Irene walked in with a grave look on her face. Something wasn't right.

"We have the test results" said Dr. Irene, holding up a folder.

"Is it bad?" asked Anya, her voice hoarse. Dr. Irene nodded her head yes.

"It's bacterial meningitis" began Dr. Irene, "it's a disease that spreads in the blood and spinal fluids. We must do a lumbar puncture before we start you on the antibiotics. But, we must get the babies out before they become infected. You're just passed the 24 week mark so they should be ok. I'm going to go ahead and prepare a room for you. A nurse will come and get you when the room is ready" said Dr. Irene as she left. Tears started flowing down Anya's face.

"Pony what if something happens?" asked Anya as she cried on my shoulder.

"Nothing's going to happen. You and the babies are going to be fine" I said.

"But we're not ready yet. We haven't even set up the nursery, let alone pick out names" said Anya, crying harder. I wrapped my arms around her and held her on the exam table. That was all I really could do.

"Mercy" said Anya.

"What?"

"I like that name. It's a pretty name" said Anya.

"I love that name" I said.

"Mercy Jay" said Anya, "I like that." I was about to say something else but the nurse came in a told us the room was ready. The nurse wheeled Anya down the hall in a wheelchair while I walked next to her. The room was nice. It had a big window and the walls were painted baby blue. The nurse got Anya hooked up to the monitors

"Go call the gang. Tell them what's going on" said Anya.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive" said Anya.

"I'll be back in a couple of minutes" I said. I was about to walk out the door when the nurse grabbed me by the arm and said "don't go too far." I shook lose of her grip and found the nearest phone. The first person I called was Soda. The phone rang and rang and rang until finally someone picked up. It was Soda.

"Hello" said Soda.

"Soda" was all I could say. I was trying to fight back the tears and talking wasn't helping.

"Pony? What's wrong?" he asked.

"Anya's sick. You gotta come to the hospital" I said.

"What's wrong?"

"She's really sick. They gotta get the babies out. Please come" I begged.

"Don't worry, I'm on my way. Steve and Ally are coming too" said Soda.

"Bring Davanee with you" I said.

"Alright. I'll see you there" said Soda. I then proceeded to call everyone else. I tried as hard as I could to keep the tears from coming but I broke down when I was talking to Darry. He said he was on his way and not to worry. Everything was going to be ok. We were all going to be fine. I was scared. I was only 16. I was still a kid. I shouldn't be here. I should be hanging out with the gang without a care in the world. Instead, I was in the hospital crying over the phone. I didn't want to loose Anya or the babies.

I hung up the phone and walked back to the room. They were preparing Anya for delivery. Dr. Irene explained the whole process to me. They were going to put Anya to sleep and would perform a C-section. It didn't sound too pleasant to me but there was no other option.

"This is it" said Anya.

"It'll be ok. Everything will be ok" I said. I kept telling myself this, but I didn't believe it.

"I love you" said Anya.

"I love you too" I said, giving her a kiss before they wheeled her out of the room. I walked with her down the hall to the delivery room. They made me wait outside. That made me mad because I wanted to be in there with her. There was no way she could go through something this big by herself. She needed someone in there with her.

I sat on a bench across the hall, leaned against the wall, and closed my eyes. I wanted to cry so badly but people were watching. I didn't feel comfortable crying in public. It just didn't seem right to me.

I opened my eyes to find Soda standing over me, holding Davanee.

"Where is she?" asked Soda.

"She's in the delivery room. They said it could take a while" I said. Soda sat down next to me on the bench. Davanee crawled into my lap and put her head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry" said Soda.

"It's ok. It's not your fault she's sick. It just happened" I said. I tried to focus on something else. School, work, anything but it didn't work. My thoughts always came back to Anya and the babies. What would I do if something happened to all of them? I don't know what I would do. I asked myself the same question when my parents died. I cried myself to sleep the night they died. I couldn't picture the world without them. I was just a kid when they died. I needed them. I still need them. They'd know what to do.

Within a couple of minutes, the whole gang was in the hallway. They made us move to the waiting room because we were crowding the hallway. I stayed behind. I handed Davanee over to Darry and paced the hall. I must have paced the hall a thousand times, I was that nervous. I was about to go join the gang in the waiting room when I heard the most beautiful noise in the whole world. It was the sound of a baby crying. I waited a couple of minutes to hear another one, but it didn't come. I was about to barge in there to see what happened when Dr. Irene came out.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Baby A is fine. She weighs 7 pounds, 10 ounces. She has all ten fingers and ten toes. Baby B needs to be on a respirator for a little while. Her lungs haven't fully developed yet. Unfortunately, she's only 5 pounds, 6 ounces" said the doctor.

"They're both girls?" I asked.

"Two beautiful girls" said Dr. Irene.

"And what about Anya?" I asked.

Another grave look crept across Dr. Irene's face. "I'm sorry. She was just too sick. We couldn't treat the meningitis in time." I couldn't hold the tears back any longer. I broke down in the hallway. Normally I wouldn't cry in front of people but I couldn't help it. Anya was dead. My wife was gone. She was too young to die. She was just 16. I felt like I was going to be sick. My heart dropped down into my stomach. I had never really known what a broken heart felt like, but as I thought about Anya I could feel it break. She had only been gone for a short time and I already missed her. I wanted her back here with me. There was no way I could raise 3 girls alone. I needed help.

I walked down the hall in a daze. It took me a little while to find the waiting room. I wiped my tears away and told the gang what the doctor told me. Davanee was the first one to hug me. She had no idea what was going on but she knew I needed a hug at that moment. I picked her up and didn't want to let her go for fear that I might loose her too. I felt my knees go weak so I had to sit down. Everything was spinning and blurry (but the blurriness was from the tears). I hugged Davanee closely and closed my eyes. 'This isn't happening' I thought to myself. I'll go home and I'll see Anya going through the book of baby names or I'll go to the DX and she'll be sitting behind the counter, waiting for a customer. Her eyes will light up when I walk. We'll talk about how our days are going and everything will be perfect. I kept trying to tell myself this but it didn't work. Anya was dead no matter what I thought.

The gang cleared out of the waiting room after awhile. They all wanted to stay longer but some of them had to get back to work. Darry, Soda, and Davanee stayed behind. I just sat there in the waiting room. Part of me wanted to get up and walk to the nursery but the other part didn't.

"Pony, you have to see them" said Soda.

"I don't want to" I said through clenched teeth.

"They're your kids, you have to" said Darry.

I sighed and asked "will you guys come with me?"

"Of course we will" said Soda. We had to ask a couple of people before we found the nursery. We looked through the window and checked every name tag. I was about to move on the next window when I saw the tag out of the corner of my eye. It read "Curtis. Girl. January 15th, 1970. Parents: Ponyboy and Anya Curtis."

"There she is" I said.

"Where?" asked Soda and Darry at the same time.

"In the back" I said, pointing to her basinet. She was so small but she made my heart melt. Despite the pain I was in, I couldn't help but smile at her. She was beautiful.

"What her name?" asked Davanee.

"Scotty. Scotty Rose Curtis. That's her name" I said.

"That's a pretty name" said Soda. Just then, Dr. Irene came out of the nursery.

"Where's the other baby?" I asked.

"She's in the newborn intensive care unit. Would you like to see her?"

I nodded yes. Darry, Soda, and Davanee had to stay out in the hall. Only the parents were aloud back there. Dr. Irene lead me through a large room filled with sick babies. Some of them were so small, they looked smaller than Scotty. Dr. Irene lead me to a basinet in the back of the room. The baby was hooked up to all sorts of machines that would help her breathe better.

"I'm sorry but you can't hold her just yet" said Dr. Irene. I pulled up a chair next to the baby and sat down.

"What's her name?" asked Dr. Irene.

"Mercy. Mercy Jay Curtis" I said.

"That's a beautiful name."

"Her mother picked it out" I said, gazing at Mercy. She was so small, it was a miracle she was alive at all. Her little fist fit almost perfectly in the palm of my hand. I wish her mother could see her. I wish Anya could see both of them. Even though Mercy was just a baby, she looked so much like her mom already. I could feel the tears coming back. This time I wasn't really sure if I was happy or sad. I was more than happy to see my babies but I was sad that Anya wasn't there with me. She had waited for months for this moment and for her it never came.

"Would you like to hold the other baby?" asked the doctor.

"Scotty" I said, "her name is Scotty Rose Curtis."

"I love that name" said the doctor, leading me to another part of the nursery.

"I love it too" I said. The doctor made me sit in a rocking chair while she got the basinet. She pushed the basinet in from the other room. Scotty looked even more beautiful up close. Dr. Irene took her out and placed her in my arms. She was so small, I thought I was going to hurt her. I sat there and rocked Scotty for what seemed like hours, when in reality it was just a couple of minutes.

"You can take her out in the hall so your brothers and Davanee can see her" said Dr. Irene. Without saying a word, I got up and walked out to the hall with Scotty in my arms. Darry, Soda, and Davanee were still looking at the babies when I came out.

"Look" said Davanee, pointing to me and the baby. They had me surrounded within minutes.

"She's so pretty" said Darry.

"Where's the other baby?" asked Soda.

"She has to be on a respirator for a little while. Her name is Mercy. Mercy Jay Curtis" I said.

"That's a pretty name" said Davanee, "I wanna see."

Darry lifted her up so she could see the baby.

"She my sister?" asked Davanee.

"Yep. She's your baby sister. You're a big sister now" I said. Davanee smiled at that. I knew it would be hard for her to adjust to the new babies, but I knew she could do it. Darry, Soda, and Davanee went home after a couple of hours. Davanee was going to stay with Darry and Soda for a little while. I stayed at the hospital as long as they would let me. Eventually, I had to go home. I said goodnight to both of the girls before I left. Instead of going to the apartment, I went to the house. There was no way I could stay in that apartment alone. I couldn't do it yet.

I walked in and laid down on the couch. I was too tired to get a blanket. I couldn't help but cry. I was tired. I wanted Anya. I wanted the babies. I wanted my parents. I cried myself to sleep that night. I had nightmares all that night. I couldn't stop thinking about Anya. I had a dream that we were sitting at the kitchen table and we talked endlessly for hours, about everything and nothing at the same time. It might not make any sense to you but it made perfect sense to me.

I awoke the next morning to the smell of eggs. I stumbled into the kitchen to see Darry cooking breakfast.

"I didn't expect to see you here this morning" said Darry.

"I can't go home" I said, "would you mind if I stayed with you guys for a little while? Just until the babies come home" I said.

"You know you're welcome to stay here as long as you want" said Darry.

"Thanks, Dar."

"Anytime" said Darry.

"I think I'm gonna go to the hospital today" I said.

"Ok. Two-Bit can probably watch Davanee for you if you want him to" said Darry, "he should be over here in a little while." A little while came pretty fast. Two-Bit came in, slamming the door behind him.

"I smell something cooking" said Two-Bit, walking into the kitchen, "hey Pony."

"Hey Two-Bit."

"How ya doin'?"

"Fine" I said.

"That's good. That's good" was all Two-bit could say. The rest of the morning went as it normally would, except we didn't have the TV and the radio turned all the way up. It was sort of quite. Steve, Soda, and Darry headed off to work. Two-bit agreed to watch Davanee while I went to the hospital. I visited the hospital everyday until both of them could come home. It turns out Mercy healed faster than what the nurses and doctors expected. Darry, Soda, and Davanee came to the hospital with me to pick them up. I was scared about taking them home. It was just the four of us now. I was taking them home to the apartment. That was my first night in the apartment after Anya died. Pieces of her still remained at the apartment. Her perfume bottle was sitting on the bathroom sink. Her clothes were still in the closet. It was almost as if she had never left. I half expected her to be in the room that was suppose to be the nursery, but she wasn't.

"We have a surprise for you" said Soda as we climbed the stairs to the apartment. I was carrying Scotty while Soda was carrying Mercy. Davanee and Darry followed close behind.

"Go look in the nursery" said Soda. I opened the door to the nursery to see that it had been painted and decorated. Even the cribs were put together.

"You guys did this?" I asked, looking around.

"Yeah. It was the least we could do. We used a lot of Davanee's old stuff" said Darry. I recognized one of the cribs, the changing table, and the rocking chair from Davanee's nursery.

"Thanks guys" I said, taking Scotty out of the baby carrier.

"We gotta get back to work" said Soda, handing Mercy over to me.

"You think you'll be ok?" asked Darry.

"Yeah, we'll be ok" I said. And this time, I believed it.