Chapter 29

Confessions are good for the soul

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After our day on the boat was ruined, we all decided on an evening of dinner and dancing. Arrangements were made to have dinner at a Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi Bar. When we arrived, we were seated at a table where the chef prepared and cooked the food in front of us. The chef's showmanship was awesome. It was a fun and relaxing evening with good friends.

After dinner, we moved the party to a club to enjoy an evening of dancing. Everything was going great until I spotted Allen and Hollingsworth, the weirdo couple from the plane. "Wonderful, just what we didn't need." Yep the brain to mouth filter was not working.

"Babe, I have eyes on them" Carlos whispered in my ear.

"Manny, at the bar" Carlos nodded in the direction of Allen and Hollingsworth.

"On it boss" Manny replied as he walked to the bar and sat near the couple.

"Babe, don't let on we've spotted them" he sent a text and in less than ten minutes, Daniel and Jackson joined us. They spoke quietly with Carlos for a few minutes. Now in Ranger mode, Carlos made his way towards the bar with Daniel and Jackson behind him. Within a few minutes, the creepy couple were handcuffed and escorted outside. Carlos returned saying Allen and Hollingsworth were headed to the police station. Apparently, Carlos and Manny were convinced the two of them were responsible for the boat bomb.

We ordered a few more drinks and continued with our evening, luckily, no one else in our party had a clue about what had happened. I'm sure Kinsey picked up on it but didn't say anything as to not attract too much attention. I really don't think anyone else in the bar even knew what was going on. Quiet and smooth what a great technique, I will have to learn that one too. Maybe I should just stay on in Barbados with Manny and have the 'household staff' teach me a thing or two.

"Carlos, we leave in a few days, I'm not sure if I want to go back. Can we stay here forever?" I said as we were dancing to a slow song.

Sweetly, I was told, "unfortunately sweetheart, no can do."

"I know we have to go back it was just my wishful thinking." Carlos pulled me tighter into him kissing me.

"Can we come back here for our honeymoon?" I asked hopefully.

"Babe, we can come here anytime, don't you want to go somewhere you've always wanted to visit that has been a dream?"

"Honey, I wouldn't mind if we spent our honeymoon in a tent, as long as we are together" I replied, smiling and looking into his dark chocolate eyes.

Manny, Jackson, and Daniel returned to the club and we decided to call it a night and go home. When we arrived at the house, the police were waiting in the driveway, not a good sign if you ask me.

Carlos led the men to the office and I being the one who needs to know everything followed them. It turns out that creepy couple was in fact responsible for the boat bomb; they were stupid enough to leave fingerprints on the boat. Their trip in Barbados was going to be extended and unfortunately for them it would be in jail.

The Captain had a file with all the paperwork and he asked if we wanted to press charges. Carlos looked at me "Babe, it's up to you."

"Can we press charges, keep them in jail, and drop the charges after we leave?" I asked not really knowing what the laws were here. The Captain looked at Carlos and then at me, looking surprised. He agreed that we could sign the paperwork now and Manny would date the documents after we left.

Once everything was signed and settled, Daniel escorted the Captain and the officers out to their cars. "Manny you stay here after we leave and escort the couple back to New Jersey, I'll talk to Tank and give him a heads up."

"Got it boss" Manny replied as he and Carlos both looked at me.

"Babe" no one had to give me the meaning of that babe, I knew exactly what answer they were waiting for.

"Yes I know Carlos; I have a partner and a shadow when we return." I replied to them both.

"Got it in one." He took my hand and led me outside to the beach it was a beautiful night. We walked hand in hand then I felt someone was following us but my Spidey senses were not buzzing. "It's ok Babe, Jackson is tailing us." We continued walking and playing in the water.

When Lula or Marylou and I would read those magazines about what women consider romantic moments, I would make gagging sounds when they said midnight walks along the beach, but I have to admit it was very romantic.

We turned and walked back to the house. I am still amazed at how much my man of mystery has opened up. There is always something that he does, or talks about that make me fall in love with him as if it was the first time.

When we returned to the house, it was quiet. We went upstairs to our room and took a shower. Carlos was in a loving and very playful mood, he had me pinned against the wall with my arms raised above my head. While holding my hands with his left hand, his right hand was free to touch and explore. Between his hand and mouth, I was in a land of exhilarating bliss. After our pleasurable shower, we dried off and walked out on the veranda to find a table set with a chocolate cake, coffee and fruit with candles lit all around the ledge. It was beautiful; does this stuff just magically appear? With soft music, the sound of the ocean and shimmering candles, it just doesn't get any better than this.

We talked about the wedding and Carlos shared some of his ideas. I was surprised because it meant he had been thinking about it. He agreed to keep it small and intimate with Lula parking cars, I couldn't help but laugh.

Our conversation drifted from the wedding to our families, houses, pets, and kids. "Honey, are you absolutely positive about not being upset in not having our own biological kids?"

"It's too late for you to worry about that now, I'm stuck with you." He replied laughing. "Listen, I've told you before I want to spend the rest of my life with you which means you have to be here on this earth. If having babies meant losing you then NO I don't want babies. We can adopt when the time comes." He gave me one of those now drop it looks.

"I know, I know, I'll drop it forever I promise." I replied with relief in my voice. Having kids was never in the forefront of my thoughts until Marcus appeared in our lives. He brought out those feelings that I thought were tucked away

We finally finished our dessert and coffee. I was shocked to see that Batman had consumed two pieces of cake. I must have fallen asleep on the veranda because the next thing I knew it was morning and I woke up in our bed, as Carlos was getting ready to go out for a run.

"Honey, did I fall asleep out on the veranda, why didn't you wake me?" I asked sleepily.

"You were so peaceful I didn't have the heart." He reassured me.

"Are you going for a run?" I was quickly waking up.

"Yes Babe I am." He said as he finished putting on his shoes.

"Wait for me, I'll go with you." I said rolling out of bed.

"Stephanie, seriously?" he looked at me like I was from another planet.

"Yeah, yeah smart ass, I'll only be a few minutes so just wait for me." I quickly finished getting dressed and faced a shocked Cuban looking at me.

"Come on slow poke" I smacked his beautiful tight ass.

"Oh I'll slow poke you Babe, count on that." I laughed as he took my hand leading me downstairs to see Manny waiting. Manny looked at me in surprise.

"Don't say one word hubs not a single word." I glared at him

"Yes wifey." He replied laughing.

We ran through the neighborhood making our way to the pier. Once on the beach we ran for quite a long distance. I was starting to get a little tired, and by the time we made it home I was totally exhausted.

"Sheesh, I'm out of shape again, I am wiped out." I said breathing heavy.

"Babe, you're not out of shape, we ran close to ten miles." Carlos assured me.

"What, I ran ten miles, holy guacamole, no wonder I'm tired. I was dumbfounded

"Proud of you Babe, now you said something about me being a slow poke?" with that, Batman picked me up and carried me through the house slapping my butt then straight to our room leaving Manny with a big grin on his face.

Carlos threw me on the bed and clothes were hurriedly removed. The anticipation of Batman filled orgasms had my body heating up to uncontrollable temperatures. I swear the things that man can do with his body is amazing, he takes me to another dimension.

Carlos said he was taking me out for the day on a date now that the threat has been contained. He was much more relaxed, and honestly, I was looking forward to having time alone with my sexy Cuban. We planned on leaving for home in a few days and it will be back to the hustle and bustle when we get there so I wanted to take advantage of all the alone time with Carlos I could.

"Honey, I want to talk to Lester and Marcus" I was missing the little guy big time. So we called Trenton for a little face-to-face chat.

"Hello Beautiful how are you?" What a great greeting, seeing Lester and his smiling face.

"I'm good Les, how about you?" I couldn't help smiling.

"Getting ready for the mission, going to head out tomorrow," he replied with a sad face.

"How's Barbara? Are you still seeing her? Are you being a good boy?" A smile came upon his face.

"Yeah beautiful I am. Do you know what that woman has had me doing the last few nights?"

"TMI, LESTER, TMI." I said loudly with my hands over my ears.

"No nothing like that smart ass, we baked freaking cookies, COOKIES, did you hear me, COOKIES. She made me wear an apron and these hands helped make dozens, I mean dozens of cookies, the entire dining table was filled with trays of cookies."

I started laughing at the thought of Lester wearing an apron and baking cookies. I have no doubt what so ever that he was also very touchy feely and not to mention being the ultimate goof ball while making those cookies. I am sure Barbara wanted to pull her hair out.

"Anyway, we boxed them up and got them all ready to ship out to the deployed troops." He told me.

"How many cookies did you end up eating while packing them up, Les?" I imagined twice the number he was going to tell me.

"Beautiful, I didn't eat any by choice, only the broken ones. I had to be the official taste tester, we gotta keep our troops safe." He was wiggling his eyebrows and laughing.

"Santos, dating this woman is going to make you fat, not a healthy way to live" Carlos added.

"Yeah but what a way to go. You know Steph, the other day was her friend's birthday, and we were well…. I should say SHE was running late, the cookies and tray came out of the oven straight into the truck. The car smelled like a bakery and she would not let me have one. Some nerve huh?" He pouted.

I laughed at his boyish look, "it's for your own good handsome, trust me on that."

Suddenly, the room echoed with the sweet sounds of Marcus and little feet running.

"Bomber, Batman, I here, I coming don't leave." I don't know how fast he was running but he was out of breath, which concerned me since that hasn't happened before.

"Ranger, you good to bomber, remember our deal." Marcus said between taking in big gulps of air.

"Yes little man, I am being good to bomber, I promise." Carlos told him.

"Bomber, is Batman telling me truth, I miss you when you come home?" Marcus was slowly starting to breath normally again.

"Yes sweetie, Batman is telling you the truth and he is taking very good care of me. We will be home in a few days." I heard Alicia in the background telling Marcus it was time for school. Alicia and I spoke briefly then she left with Marcus. I asked Lester to call Bobby saying that I needed to talk to him.

We spoke with Tank and the rest of the guys. Carlos told Tank that Manny was staying behind and filled him in on all those details. Bobby came to the screen.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you, I miss the heck out of you." Bobby's greetings are the best.

"I miss you too, but to be honest I am not ready to come home yet." I quietly told him.

"What can I do for you my dear?" Bobby asked with concern.

"Bobby, has Marcus been feeling ok, lately?" I was nervous asking him.

"As far as I know why?" Bobby looked confused.

"Well when he was running to talk to us, he was breathing pretty hard, he hasn't done that before. Can you check on him for me?" I was hoping I was over reacting and nothing was actually wrong.

"Sure thing sweetheart, I'll be happy to and I will do it in a discreet way" Bobby replied as he was typing something on his phone.

"Thank you Bobby. It may be nothing but I am just a little concerned." I was scared.

"No worries, I'll take care of it as soon as he gets home from school?"

"Love you Bobby, see you in a few days."

"Love you too sweetheart, see you soon." Carlos finished talking to the guys and Lester came back on the screen.

"Well Beautiful, this is the last time we can talk until I return. I have to brief and get prepared for the mission." I started to cry when he said that, I was trying so hard not to cry.

"Lester, please promise me you'll be safe. I want you back in one piece. We have a date and a promised dance at my wedding remember that."

"I know Stephanie, I'm looking forward to it, I'll be back I promise."

"I love you Lester Santos, be safe, and don't be a wise ass."

"Beautiful, I love you too and I will be safe, can't guarantee about not being a wise ass. Stephanie, please don't cry I'll be safe I swear." He kept trying to comfort me.

Lester's eyes were watery but I didn't let on I could see but it made me even more sad looking at his face.

"You're my best friend and brother Lester Santos, remember that."

"I know, you're my best friend and little sister and I want you to know, I will always love you. See you when I get back. Go out and buy a sexy outfit for our date, preferably in red with something from yours and my favorite pink store."

"SANTOS" barked Carlos.

"Sorry boss, I couldn't help myself." I finger waved goodbye and told Carlos I was going to take a shower, leaving Lester and Carlos time to talk alone.

I did not realize that I had slid my way to the floor of the shower and I was sitting with water spraying on me. Carlos came in and sat down next to me wrapping me in his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder and continued to cry.

"Babe, Lester is the best of the best, trust me on that. He will leave Trenton to forget everything and everyone he is leaving behind while he is on the mission. He has to go into the briefing with no memories or thoughts of loved ones. While he's on the mission we will not exist in his world." He explained to me the mindset needed before leaving for a mission.

"I know Carlos, I know but I have such a weird feeling about this mission." I continued through my tears.

"Steph, I've told you before we've all gone over the mission scenarios and emergency situations. He'll be home for your date, which by the way only white cotton granny panties from the pink store are to be worn under the red dress. And trust me; I will be watching Santos like a hawk when he's dancing with you at our wedding."

I started to laugh at the way Carlos said that and I did not doubt it for one second that he would have eyes on us. He picked me up and we finished our shower and dried off. I walked into the closet not knowing what to wear.

"Carlos, what should I wear I don't know where we're going or what you have planned."

"Our clothes are hanging on the back of the door Babe." I pulled the garment bag off the hook and pulled out the clothes. I laid them on the chaise lounge, black jeans, white long sleeve t-shirts and black leather vests with boots.

"Carlos, what's all this?" I was confused with the selection.

"Put them on and you'll find out soon." Trusting him I put on my clothes, pulled my hair in a ponytail, and was ready to go down to breakfast.

"Carlos, will you tell me where we are going please?" I hoped my begging would break him.

"Woman, hold your horses, do I need to teach you patience?" He replied pulling on my hair.

"Are we going horseback riding, no that can't be it we wouldn't be wearing these outfits. Are we going hiking, no these aren't hiking clothes." I was trying to figure this out on my own.

"Oh for crying out loud, come with me." He took my hand leading me downstairs and outside to a pair of beautiful brand new Ducati motorcycles. I stood with my mouth wide open.

"Carlos, are these ours?" I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Just for a couple of days, I rented them and we are going riding today." I ran into his arms showering him with kisses. I was so excited, it has been a long while since I rode a motorcycle; the last time was when I borrowed Joes to be exact.

"Come on let's go eat, I'm sure the beast will be making an appearance soon."

"Batman, have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"Yeah Wonder Woman but I will never get tired of hearing you say it."

"I love you, I love you, I love you." I said kissing him a few hundred times. We walked back into the house and to the outdoor dining area.

"She didn't let it go did she?" Manny said looking at both of us smiling.

"Nope, she has ants in her pants."

"Hello, you both know I can hear you right?" My sexy Cuban smacked me on my ass as I sat down at the table. I could not wait for breakfast to be over with so we could leave and ride the bikes. Surprisingly I was not that hungry so I ate fruit, and a bagel with cream cheese. Carlos and Manny both stared at my plate with raised eyebrows.

"What?" I asked them.

"Oh nothing, Babe." Carlos chuckled.

We finished our breakfast and Carlos explained to everyone we would not be home for dinner and we walked outside to our beautiful Ducati's while everyone watched us. Our helmets were awesome; they had two-way radio type gadgets to enable us to talk to each other. Carlos was now in Ranger mode.

"Steph, the GPS has been pre-programmed, you are to ride next to me, never behind. If there is a situation where we cannot ride side by side or if the road narrows, I will get behind you and direct you through our earpieces, alright?"

"Yes understood sir," I answered saluting him. Jackson, Daniel, and Manny were laughing. Ranger, well he was Mr. Serious.

"Always the smart ass Babe." He just shook his head.

I gave him an innocent angelic look and kissed him. I climbed on to the bike and I swear he had sex written all over his face.

"Damn, Stephanie, you are sexy straddling that thing. It makes me want to take you back upstairs," he growled in my ear as he put the helmet on my head.

"You look pretty damn hot yourself Batman" we started the bikes and I revved it a few times and took off, I heard him in my earpiece.

"SMART ASS." He hissed and knew I was in trouble.

"Yeah but you love me any way" I answered back giggling.

"Yes I do Babe, yes I do."

It was a perfect day; low 70's sunny with a perfect breeze. We could not ask for a better day and apparently parking was not the only karma for Ranger, the weather cooperates with him too. We rode for a while and Carlos asked if I wanted to take a break, I said no not yet and so we continued.

We were way out of town, it was around 1:15, and I was starting to get a little hungry. We stopped at a little roadside café, as much as I loved, being on the bike it was nice to get off to stretch and walk around.

We walked for a little bit and of course, I had to use the bathroom. After finishing up, I walked back to Carlos and he was talking to a group of men also on bikes. Right away, I thought crap there's trouble but that was not the case, they were just talking about the bikes.

Carlos introduced me to the men. We then sat down at a table he told me to stay put while he used the restroom. We ordered a variety of dishes and chatted with the group of men. I was starving and the beast was being very vocal, luckily, the food was brought to our table at the right time. The food was absolutely delicious. I am going to really miss the wonderful dishes from here. When we finished feasting, we talked with the group of men for a short time and climbed back on the bikes with some of the men behind us.

We drove for about an hour or so before stopping at an area that reminded me of a rain forest. Beautiful wild flowers, various plants, and trees that were overgrown into each other creating an archway, it was breathtaking. The beauty of it all mesmerized me; I have never seen anything like it in person.

I was taking so many pictures of the scenery and of Carlos and I, the bike ride was great but this was unbelievable. We walked around exploring the area, well mainly me; its obvious Carlos has been here before.

We came up on a little lake, we settled down on the grass and my entire body immediately relaxed from head to toe it felt like I was in heavenly bliss. I laid down to look overhead at the beauty of the trees, hearing the different sounds of the birds. Carlos laid down next to me and his breathing was the most relaxed I have ever heard. I love listening to the relaxed sound of his breathing and seeing him like this it warms my heart. However, all good things end, he's not one to sit still for too long, it's not his best trait. He was in a playful mood, never one to hide his playful side or his want for sex. Carlos began kissing me and taking off my vest along with the rest of my clothes then removed his clothes.

"Carlos, we're in a public place, we can't." I pleaded.

"It didn't stop you in the Porsche in the alley now did it?" He said mischievously.

"That was well….." I was cut off from explaining by his kisses and he could sense I was nervous.

"Babe, trust me no one will see us, this place is pretty well hidden, I promise you. Now relax and enjoy."

"How many women have you brought here that you know all this?" I teased.

"Seriously Stephanie, way to kill a moment." Carlos rolled on to his back, oh my God I felt horrible. Crap now I had to make it up to him.

"Honey, I'm sorry I was only kidding, I didn't mean anything by it, really." He was pouting which I have never seen him do before. I was starting to feel even worse now as I was kissing him tenderly, and his pouting became more evident. I didn't know how to handle it since he has never pouted before.

Suddenly he grabbed me, rolled me on my back and he looked at me laughing, he played me like a fiddle, he was faking it the entire time. "CARLOS YOU'RE AN ASS, I HA…" he interrupted me as he took my mouth in his and kissed me hard and fierce. After a few minutes, I didn't care if anyone did see us because they were about to get a show or two or maybe three.

I felt that I could go on and on, not sure if it was his different playful side, his technique, scenery or being completely uninhibited, regardless of the reason I loved it and wanted more.

"Come on Babe" taking my hand and leading us to the water. We slowly walked in up to our shoulders.

"Carlos, the water is so warm and clean but are we safe here?"

"Yes Miss Worry Wart, we are perfectly safe." We swam a little, splashed each other, and played as if we were kids it was fun. We played, kissed, hugged, and laughed, I loved hearing him laughing. I had my arms wrapped around his neck as we were floating in the water.

"Carlos, I love seeing you this relaxed and playful, you deserve this kind of life you've worked so hard to get where you are today."

"Babe, without you I wouldn't be living this life, I wouldn't be happy here."

"That's not true Carlos and you know it."

"Stephanie, all the material things I have can be lost and I wouldn't care. You are my life, what makes my heart beat. If I lost you my heart would cease beating and there would be no reason to live."

"Carlos, I feel the same way." I felt myself choking up.

"If you and I weren't together, I'd be on one mission after another, never to see what life was really like."

"Do you miss your missions?" I asked him with curiosity.

"Absolutely not, you are far more important to me than any mission or money."

"You've spent so much of your life on missions saving the world; it's in your blood."

"Yes it is Babe and saving the world is something you and I will do together." I held him tightly kissing him, what he just said about us saving the world together spoke volumes of his deep feelings. We floated back to the edge and laid down on the grass until we were dry.

After we put on our clothes, we reluctantly began our drive back home. What a great day, riding for hours on one of the greatest pieces of machinery with Batman at my side to a secluded outdoor Bat Island then making love in tropical bliss to the sounds of birds serenading us. That is what I call a perfect date.

After a while, we stopped at a restaurant built into a forest of sorts. It was a large outdoor hut, only a roof no walls in the middle of a man made rain forest. There were trees, water fountains and water falls. It was beautiful.

The restaurant was so cozy; the lighting was colorful but dim. We were seated in a corner that had trees around us with real looking birds in the trees. There were blue and gold MaCaws, a White Umbrella Cockatoo, and Zebra finches. I had to keep checking to make sure they were fake; I didn't want bird droppings on us.

Our server asked if we were ready, I ordered a barracuda burger with sweet potato steak fries, and Carlos ordered flying fish. The barracuda burger was moan worthy, oh my gosh it was delicious, Carlos tasted it and he agreed. I tasted his flying fish it too was very good, he had roasted Brussel sprouts with his meal. I hate Brussel sprouts, but these were so dang good with a cranberry glaze.

We were both stuffed and I actually said no to dessert, we sat to let our food settle and we talked about the day so far.

"Carlos, thank you for a perfect date, it has been awesome."

"You're welcome Babe, I'm glad you enjoyed it." We both used the rest room and headed back out to our bikes. I straddled the bike, and again, the lust was visible all over his face.

"Woman, seeing you on that bike makes me want to ravish you," he whispered in my ear.

"Carlos, you just finished ravishing me, I'm not going to be able to walk if you ravish me anymore." I kissed his smiling lips and watched him get on the bike, he was sex on a motorcycle, shoot we didn't try that.

We arrived back at home and went inside the house to find the men playing pool. The women were outside swimming in the pool. I told everyone I was going upstairs to take a shower and change, Carlos followed me upstairs. The shower was relaxing after being out on the bikes all day, we then joined everyone out on the veranda.

Everyone shared about the day they had spent and I shared our day, showing everyone the pictures I took and Carlos showed some of his own. I had no idea he even had taken pictures. There was one of me standing by a bright orange wild flower looking into the trees; I looked like a little girl in awe of the beauty. He told me he was going to enlarge that and frame it for his office. There was another one that he showed me it was of me completely naked, I was standing near some flowers, you could only see a tiny bit of my breast and my side, no front or rear exposure. He showed it to everyone, it was beautiful and classy not revealing at all. I had to admit I liked it, I have no idea when he took that picture.

Olivia and Caroline brought out some refreshments, fruit, and vegetables to eat. We talked about what our thoughts were for Thanksgiving since it was only a couple of days away. It was unanimous that we would all celebrate here at the villa and I could not wait.

We were relaxing on the veranda and a sadness fell over me, for us tomorrow will be a lazy relaxing day spending it on the beach swimming, eating, drinking, and enjoying spending time with friends anticipating Thanksgiving Day. For Lester, it will be a tough day, he will be leaving for his briefing, and to de-clutter his thoughts about what he's leaving behind so he can focus 100% on the mission. He needs to come home safe and in one piece.

I wanted to call Lester and talk to him again but I decided against it, he has to remain focused and not worried about me or to see me sad.

"Babe, he'll be fine, trust me please" Carlos said reassuringly.

"I know, you keep telling me that but my Spidey senses are telling me differently." I leaned further into him and the tears began to flow. Kinsey and Manny both told me the same thing that Carlos just said yet it still didn't make me feel any better.

"Carlos, I'm going upstairs to bed, goodnight everyone, I'll see you in the morning."

"I'll be up soon." Carlos kissed me before I headed upstairs.

I took up my thinking position on the bed debating whether to call Lester or not, after about twenty times of dialing and ending the call, I pulled up his contact info on my phone and talked to his picture.

"Lester Santos, I am so worried about you and this mission I can't even begin to explain it to you. I wish you didn't have to go but I know you are obligated and I am thankful that this will be your last one. Les, please I'm begging you to come home safe and sound."

The tears were falling from my face and onto his picture.

"I know the secret you are keeping buried in your heart. I am fully aware of the love you have for me, it's not a sister and brother type of love. I know you've loved me from the first time we worked together on that re-decorating job. Your difference towards me was not of dislike or mistrust but of love. Lester I may not have ESP like you, Carlos, or anyone else for that matter, but I know how to read people and I know how to read you."

His smiling goofy face was making me smile a little. I had so much I wanted to say.

"I know that when you return this is one of the things you want to talk to me about. I wasn't 100% sure if I was correct in my assumptions about your feelings until I overheard you talking to Tank in his office, you told him that if Ranger didn't man up, he would have a fight on his hands and that you would claim me for yourself."

"Lester Santos, I love you with all my heart but not in the way I love Carlos, he's my being and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I will always love you as my best friend, protector and big brother, never ever doubt that and I would give my life for you."

So much was flowing from my mouth. I didn't know where all this was stored up but it was like a river.

"Les, when you come home and we go on our date, I will make it easy for you, you will never have to share how you really feel about me. If things were different between Carlos and me, you and I would probably work out but you would only have had a portion of my love. I hope you understand, well you don't understand because you cannot hear me. I want nothing but happiness for you and for you to find true love, but in the meantime, come home safe and sound. You will always have a place in my heart, not the place you want but a place nonetheless."

I sat quietly for a few minutes, the tears were gone, the sadness had left, and it was all going to be ok.

"I love you. I know you will come home safe and sound. I'm still worried about you and will continue until you step foot on US soil. God speed my brother, I will see you when your final mission is complete and we will be celebrating your promotion in Washington D.C. with the President of the United States."

I put the phone in the drawer of the nightstand and rolled over on my side.

Carlos came into the room as I was just about to doze off. Feeling the bed dip with his weight, I immediately rolled into his arms, he wrapped himself around me, and I was out for the night. I promised myself I was only going to think about good things when it came to Lester and the mission, he was going to come home, and he will take me out on our date and dance with me at my wedding. That will be my focus as far as Lester Santos is concerned.

Later that night I had a horrible dream and it involved Lester. All I remember was a mountainous terrain and there was blood. He was reaching his hand out as he was crawling and calling my name saying I love you repeatedly. I woke up screaming in a sweat with tears rushing down my face.

"Babe, it's a dream, it's only a dream calm down." I was breathing so hard I was beginning to hyperventilate. Carlos was trying to calm me by talking to me in Spanish, rubbing my back, rocking me in his arms but nothing worked. He took his phone and made a quick call, all he said was our bedroom now.

Within a few minutes, Henry and Helena came storming in the room. Helena came in with a medical bag in her hand. They asked what was wrong. Carlos told them I was having a nightmare and he couldn't calm me down. Manny and Marylou came running into the room.

Carlos told Marylou to stay and for Manny to tell everyone not to come upstairs. He left to let everyone know I was ok that I just had had a nightmare. Mare sat down on the bed with me while Helena took my blood pressure and she said it was extremely high, she was talking to me calmly telling me that she was going to give me a pill to bring down my BP.

"Carlos, can I have some time with Steph alone please?" Marylou asked, after a few minutes he reluctantly agreed and they left with the exception of Helena. Carlos demanded that she be allowed to stay. After about 15-20 minutes, I finally started to feel calm.

"Steph, tell me what's going on, what did you dream about?" Marylou asked me as she held me and rubbed my arm. I explained about the feelings Lester has for me and he had something to tell me when he returned.

I also told her about my one-way conversation with Lester's photo on my phone, she laughed as did Helena and I told her about my dream.

"Honey, you are too smart for your own good but it's a good thing you had the conversation with his photo. You released all your tension and everything that you've been keeping inside you. That's probably why you've been so worried about him and the mission." Marylou said in a motherly tone.

Helena joined in the conversation speaking in a caring soft voice. "Stephanie, I think your dream was the result of you keeping Lester's feelings about you bottled up and with your Spidey senses over the mission, you were on overdrive and the combination created a bad dream. Lester will come back home, he may be hurt but they all come back with some type of medical issue it's a given."

"Stephanie, you need to talk to Carlos about this, tell him your thoughts about Lester's feelings towards you. He is a good man, he will understand and I doubt he will take out his anger on Les when he returns. You've kept it locked up for so long you've driven yourself into this frenzy." Marylou said as she kissed me on the head and got off the bed. She went to the door telling Carlos it was ok for him to come in.

He had such a scared look on his face. I felt bad but Marylou was right it was time to fill Carlos in on the details but I have to make sure he promises ahead of time not to take action.

"Babe."

Helena took my blood pressure one more time and she was happy that it had dropped to just a bit over normal. She assured Carlos that I would be fine and that it was an anxiety attack. They left us alone and I was wrapped in the arms of the love of my life.

"Stephanie, you scared the shit out of me, talk to me." whispering to me.

"Carlos, I have something to talk to you about, but first you have to promise you won't retaliate, get angry, or want to kill anyone after I've told you everything."

"Does it have something to do with your health?" He sounded worried.

"No."

"Is it about your safety?" I just wanted to be sure Lester would not get hurt.

"No."

"Will what you have to say affect our relationship now or in the future?"

"No absolutely not and no, no, no to all the above." I promised him.

"Well I promise not to get mad, angry, or kill anyone."

"Well, it all started…

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

A/N: JE owns the characters but the original ones are all mine.

I hope you enjoyed this.

Thank you for your sweet comments and reviews, I really appreciate them all.

I will post the next chapter in September, my awesome creative side of my brain Susan will be going to Alaska, and why she doesn't want to work on my stories while on her trip is beyond me. HAHAHAAAA.

How do you think Carlos will react to what Stephanie has to say? What do you think that dream was all about?

Thanks as always to my ever so sweet, patient friend Susan Peters, YOU ROCK….. I hope you have a wonderful trip, take lots of pictures as I want to live my Alaskan dream vacation vicariously through you.