Sorry for updating late! I've been really stressed and had absolutely no time to write *.* So, I'm sad to tell you all that there are only four more chapters until Secrets is over! It seems so surreal, and I don't want it to end!

I really liked this chapter, even if it was typed up fairly quickly. But, I was so determined to post this and to stop all your anticipation!

So, please read and review, and thank you for everything!


A painful throb in my head forced my eyes awake. I tried to push it aside, tried to go back to sleep, but it demanded attention. I opened my eyes and sat up, bracing my head between my hands.

Suddenly my stomach churned, so I twisted and threw up over the side of the bed. Someone must've expected this, because the contents of my stomach landed neatly into a bedpan.

Coughing, I wiped my mouth and laid back down, staring at the ceiling. I recognized it as the Med Bay, but I don't remember getting here. All I remember was…Slade! And M'gann knocking me unconscious! Then, there was this hazy period when I was asleep. What happened while I was out? Wait, scratch that; how long have I been out? It seemed like years ago when I saw Slade die right before my eyes.

Slade…What went on in his mind in those last few seconds before he was ash? Did his life flash before his eyes, just like the stories? Or did he just think of his sons Grant and Joseph, and how he failed them?

Hold on, I shouldn't even be thinking of him. I should be thinking of what the heck happened to me while I was asleep and mind controlled. Not necessarily in that order. I knew something bad happened, and that I was involved with it. Why else would my friends stare at me like I was a monster?

Maybe because I was.

With that thought, my stomach gave another flip of protest and I ended up throwing up in the bedpan again.

Oh my god. What did I do to them?

I couldn't take it. If I ever hurt them in that period…I would never forgive myself. I worked so hard to have a better life. I got it, and Slade snatched it away in one fatal swoop.

With the realization, I started crying. It wasn't your average tears-go-down-face type of crying. Oh, no. This was the lip curling, shoulder shaking, snot running ugly cry.

I'm pretty sure I was loud enough to be heard throughout the whole Cave, but no one came, not even when my cries were becoming hysteric. Either no one was home, or they were just ignoring me. I'd guess the latter.

After a good half an hour of crying, I finally decided I should face my team. Of course, I wasn't ready for it. I never would be. But it was better to get over with, like ripping off a band-aid. Pain first, but then it goes away.

I looked down at myself, and to my horror, I was still in my 'Slade' uniform. Disgusted, I peeled off the awful outfit, and chucked into a corner, making a mental note to burn it later. I then found some clothes deposited at the edge of my bed, some gym shorts and a blue t-shirt with some socks. I quickly put that on, and stared into one of the machines, trying to look at my reflection. I couldn't see it very well, but I knew my hair was a mess, so I secured it with a rubber band. I guessed my face was pretty red and blotchy, but I couldn't do anything about that.

Steeling myself, I exited the Med Bay and into the mission room, fully expecting to be pelted with questions when I was seen.

I saw my friends, with the exception of Roy(where did he go?), but all of their backs were turned. They were looking at the computer, but not conversing. Well, not out loud anyway.

When it became obvious that I had to speak first, I cleared my throat, "H-Hi.."

Slowly, they all faced me. Each person had the same blank face, the same thin line for a mouth. If I didn't know any better, I would think that they were all trained by the Batman himself.

Still, no one spoke. Some stared openly at me with detestation shadowing once playful eyes. I remember when those eyes had rolled back in laughter and had glowed with happiness.

Others stared anywhere but at me. It was impossible to tell what they were feeling, much less thinking.

"Uhm, I know that this is hard, and well, I just…" I trailed off when I couldn't explain what happened to me, but then burst out, "Someone say something!"

"What is there to say?" Conner retorted.

"Maybe an explanation on what happened to me?" I suggested, then added, "Maybe an explanation on why you all hate me now?" I couldn't stop my voice from shaking.

Looks were exchanged. "Lexi, do you know what happened?" M'gann asked slowly.

"Of course not! I was being controlled, remember?"

My despair grew when I saw doubt cross their faces, "You can't seriously think I did…whatever I did?"

"I don't know what to think," Wally said.

I bit the inside of my cheek, filling the metallic taste of blood fill my mouth. No one else said anything else, and I figured that they weren't speaking unless spoken too.

"What happened?" I asked fearfully, hating how childish my voice sounded.

Artemis didn't waste a beat, "You betrayed us. You work for Slade!"

I staggered back as if I'd been punched in the gut. Even that would've been better than the words I just heard.

"W-What? No, I don't!"

"Tell that to my bruises," Zatanna snarled.

Oh my god, this was worse than I thought. I actually betrayed my friends, my family, to Slade.

"You steal, you hurt, you kill," Conner summed it up with a glare.

Tears sprang up in my eyes and trailed down my face, "No..No! That's not me! You all know that I'd never hurt innocent people!"

The only one who hadn't spoken was Robin. He was carefully keeping his head down, eyes covered by black hair.

"Robin, you know that's not true. Tell them it's not true!" I pleaded, but he didn't budge.

I covered my mouth when it made a terrible sobbing noise. All of them just stared at me blankly, though Artemis had a superior smirk on her face.

"Please! Guys, you know me! You know that I'd never do anything evil!"

"We don't know you at all," Zatanna growled.

I took a step back, "No…"

In turn, Kaldur took a step forward, "Lexi, as the leader of this team, I have made a very important decision."

I swallowed, feeling the lump in my throat. My eyes slid to Robin again, but he still paid no heed to me.

"You are no longer a part of this team." And that was it. Open heart, insert dagger. In fact, this dagger was more like the sharpest sword a person could find. The Team was the only thing I had left. My savoir. And, now it was gone as well.

What more could I loose?

"Do not come back."

The universe just loves proving me wrong, doesn't it?

I guess everyone expected me to burst out into tears, to scream, to demand to stay. But I didn't. I could tell they were trying to figure out why, but I didn't even know myself. No more tears escaped down my face, mostly because I was too deadened to even think elaborate thoughts.

In the end, I merely nodded, "If you think that's best."

Finally, some emotion crossed my ex-teammates' faces. Shock made their eyebrows shoot into their hairlines.

I brushed past them to the zeta-tubes and programmed it to Gotham. I hoped I could use them still, even if I was not with them anymore. The zeta-tubes was extremely helpful when traveling across the country.

I turned around again to face them one last time. They were still staring at me, daring me to do something. And I did.

"You know, you guys were my best friends and being with on this team was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know I'm probably asking too much, but I want you all to never forget me and all the fun times we had together. Try not to think of Lexi the Traitor, but…Lexi the Teammate. The Element. The Friend," I gave them my best smile, because if they ever thought of me, I want them to picture me smiling. Not crying my eyes out, not trying to kill them. Just smiling.

Because I was Lexi Cross, and I would never stop smiling.

"Well, I guess this goodbye," I said solemnly.

When no replies where given, I faced the zeta-tube again and had it scramble my molecules one last time.


As soon as the familiar sight of Gotham entered my vision, the dam behind my eyes broke. Tears ran freely, and I slumped against the wall, too weak to do anything. And why did it matter? My friends were gone, and with them, my will to live. My knees gave out and I sank to the ground, wrapping my arms around my legs and hugging them close to my chest.

I raised my head and stared at the sky, the bat signal burning brightly against the dark clouds. Bats would soon start his nightly fight against evil, Robin at his side.

Batman. What did he think about all of this? Did he approve of my leaving the Team? Did he even know? Would he go hunt me down?

So many questions made the world around me spin. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't risk a meeting with Batman or Bruce. Or Robin. No, I couldn't see either of them. I needed to get away from Gotham. I needed to disappear.

Thunder rumbled overhead, and there was a crack of lightning. Raindrops pelted my face, mixing in nicely with the tears. What perfect weather for the situation. What better way to compliment miserable feelings than a thunderstorm?

Soon I was soaked, so I got to my feet. I stumbled my way to my house, tripping over my own feet like I was drunk. I probably could take a knife in my back and I would never feel it.

When I was safely inside my abode, I pondered about where I would go. I couldn't stay here, that much was for sure. But, the League would probably search for me everywhere for going AWOL, given they didn't know about what happened, which they probably did.

Maybe I should hide in plain sight? After all, it was what the Team was doing. Maybe I should go to Metropolis, or Star City, or maybe even Central City. It really didn't matter where I went, but how I would get there.

I didn't have a lot of money, so flying was out of the question. And I couldn't drive, so that was a bad idea as well. I didn't have any residents in any other states, but I did have…

No.

No.

No.

That option…I would never. I swore that I wouldn't do it. I couldn't, if I wanted to keep my sanity.

Well, that's pretty much gone, but still not an excuse.

Against my will, my hand reached into my pocket and grabbed my phone. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I dialed the number and waited impatiently. I jiggled my foot up and down, listening to the ringing. One…two…thre-

"Hello?"

The voice came so suddenly that I almost dropped my phone. I gripped it till my knuckles were white, but I couldn't speak.

"Hello? If someone doesn't answer, I'm hanging up!"

"No, wait!" I practically shouted. I ran a hand through my hair to calm myself down.

"Adelaide, it's me. Lexi."

Nothing. It was a few minutes of shocked silence while she digested this. While I digested this.

"…Lexi?" She spoke finally, confusion dripping off of her words.

I smiled softly, "Yeah. Hi Addy."

Another silence, then she started talking very fast. She sounded a lot like Wally, "Oh my god Lexi! I didn't expect you to call! Oh my god, oh my god! It's so great to hear your voice! You sound so grown up! Oh my god, we have to get together! I missed you soo much! What have you been up to? Are you still living in Gotham? Oh, I should make reservations for a hotel…"

"Addy! Slow down!" I told her. Soon, my sister quieted down enough to say, "Hey, Squirt."

I laughed, "It's nice to hear your voice as well, sis."

"There's gotta be a good reason for you calling me. I didn't expect you to. At all."

"Well, me either," I admitted, then lapsed into my own silence.

"Lexi, what's wrong?" When she didn't get a reply, she hotly yelled, "Dammit, Alexandra! Don't hide things from me!"

"Where are you living now?" I asked in a small voice.

"Uh, Star City. Why? What's going on?"

"Gotham's become…unlivable. Can I stay with you?"

I could hear breathing on her end, "Lexi, I, uh, don't know what to say. It's just so sudden…"

"I know, Addy, and I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't under extreme circumstances."

She sighed, "I know, Squirt. Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm currently in Metropolis, so I'll be there in about two hours."

"Thank you. This is means a lot," I told her. And it was true. She was putting everything out for me, just like she used to. I actually missed my sister, a lot.

The stillness in my house told me that she hung up, so I carefully lowered the phone. Two hours. I had two hours to pack, to do what I needed to do. To say goodbye.

Was I ready? I'm not sure. Gotham City was the start of everything. My life, my pain, my superhero career. Can I really just give it all up?

I stood up. I had to give it up. It was the best thing for me now.

So, I walked up the stairs and went into my room. I packed everything: my clothes, my bedding, my art things. All of my personal possessions went into every bag that was available. When I was finished, it looked very bare. A sign of a new start.

Mira looked at me curiously as I dropped the bags at the edge of my door. There were a couple of things I needed to do before I left, so I went outside and got on my bike.

I pedaled furiously to Gotham Academy. Surprisingly, cars were parked in the building's parking lot. Huh, I always thought that after school was over, all the teachers went home and drank wine or graded papers or did whatever teachers do.

Philip Wilcox glanced up in surprise when I walked into his office.

"Oh, hello Lexi! What brings you here?" He asked.

"Hi, Mr. Wilcox. I just wanted to let you know I'll be out of town for a while."

"For what, may I ask? And how long?"

My brow furrowed, "A relative of mine died. We're going for the funeral, but I don't know how long I'll be gone."

Mr. Wilcox nodded, "Alright. We'll keep your homework and other important papers in a file for when you come back. I'm sorry for your loss."

Even though I faked that story, I still lost a lot today. Appearing sad wasn't too hard, "Me too, Mr. Wilcox. Me too."


Now that was out of the way, but still our conversation plagued me. I said that I didn't know when I was coming back. Wasn't my exile permanent? But I still said I'd come back. Maybe, some where in my subconscious, I knew I'd come back to Gotham some day.

Now for the hard stop. I haven't been to this place since that terrible day four years ago.

'Gotham City Cemetery' was painted in creepy letters onto the sign over head. I threw the hood of my jacket over my head as the rain increased. A totally clichéd scene of a bad thunderstorm over a cemetery. Next, there'll be ghosts flying around trying to scare me.

I walked purposefully through the rows, a lily and a white rose clutched closely to my chest to shield them from the rain. It was grave after grave after grave, and pain flew into my chest. I was done with death, but here I was.

I found the final resting place of my parents and knelt down on the ground before the graves, not caring if my knees got muddy.

The graves had water running down the smooth surface, filling the engraved letters.

Olivia Lynne Cross

1973-2006

Daughter. Sister. Mother

Elliot Michael Cross

1968-2006

Son. Brother. Father

I placed the lily on my mother's grave and a white rose on my father's. I then laced my hands together and looked at them straight-on. Why hadn't I visited before?

"Sorry for taking so long," I whispered. Look at me, talking to dead people.

"A lot of things happened since you guys left me. I had to grow up pretty fast. I learned how to cook and clean and do everything by myself," My mouth twisted into a frown, "But that's not the worse part.

"I became an apprentice to this evil man named Slade. At the time, I didn't know he was bad, because he made me feel so safe. He trained me, treated me as a daughter. But he made me do…things. Bad things. Things I will regret until the day I join you guys," I shivered, "That is, if I make it there."

There was another crack of lightning, "I ran away. Just like Adelaide. I ran away and swore I would never see his face-well, mask, again. And I didn't, but I fell into something better. I met the Batman, hero of Gotham City, and he took me under his, uh, wing."

I traced the name of my mother with my finger, "I never told you guys, but I have powers. I can control the elements. Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, I joined this Team of superhero sidekicks. Excuse me, partners. I went on dangerous missions and almost got killed countless times, but that didn't matter. Because I was saving people instead of hurting them. It was such a change and made me feel all warm and giddy inside. I hoped I could do it for a long time and eventually join the Justice League."

The wind blew harder, but not by my doing. Not this time, "I really wanted to forget about my past. But, Slade had a knack for remembering things. He came back, prepared to ruin my life again. If I took him down, he was going to take me down with him. I couldn't let him do that. I had just found a new family, and he wanted to crush them like a bug. He almost did, using me," My body shook with rage, "He got into my mind and started controlling me. He made me try and kill my friends! My best friends! And now, the aftermath is even worse. They kicked me off the Team. All the people who I loved, Robin included, they all think I'm a monster. And you know what the scariest part is? They're right."

A lump formed in my throat, but I forced the last words out, "Adelaide came back. She called me and now I'm going to live with her, so I'll probably never see your graves again. So now I'm saying that I miss you guys and that I'm sorry I was such a failure. Sorry for knocking myself off of that pedestal you set me on," I stood up, "Goodbye Mom, Dad. One day we'll be together again."

Overhead, the storm rolled away, the sky lightening with the moon hiding behind light gray clouds. I walked away from the graves, not giving them a second glance.


When I returned home, I realized I still had something left to do. The place in mind was too far away for my bike, so I'll have to wait till Addy picked me up. I hoped she didn't mind, even though it was pretty much out of our range.

A hard knock on my door jolted me out of my trance. I quickly opened the door, and there she stood. My sister, green eyes shining and blonde hair floating in the wind.

"Lexi!" She cried, smothering with a hug. I hesitated in shock; Addy was never one for physical contact.

"Hi, Addy," I choked out, "I missed you."

"And I you," She held me at an arm's length, smiling, "God, you have grown so much! Your hair is so long! And you're so tall! And fit! Jeez, sis, what have you been doing since…" Her voice faltered, and she broadened her smile to make up for it.

"Oh well, ya know. Dance has kept me in shape and all," I lied. I wanted to be a real superhero? Well, now I can check off 'hide identity from family' off the list. My sister wouldn't just have a cow, she'd have the whole barn if she found out.

"Honey, how much room do we need in the car?" A man strode into my house, his mouth smiling a little.

Brown eyes lit up when he saw me, "Oh, so you're the famous Lexi!" His smile widened to match Adelaide's, "I heard so much about you, I could probably draw an exact portrait!"

I gave a hesitant smile, "Really."

"Yup! Your sister's very fond of you."

"Really," I repeated, looking at Addy.

"Oh, hello Addy!" She smacked her forehead, and I cringed when I remembered M'gann doing the same thing, "Lexi, I would like you to meet my boyfriend, Jared. He lives with me. Ok, it's more like I live with him."

"Hi," He extended his hand, and I took it. Brown hair was close-cropped to his head.

"Nice to meet you," I replied politely.

"Ok, got everything?" Addy asked, looking at the bags that were piled up.

"I think so."

"Hey, Mira!" She squealed when the husky walked into the room. My dog cocked her head and advanced slowly forward.

"She probably doesn't remember you," I explained.

My sister smirked, "Well, she'll just have to re-remember. We're taking her with us."

I smiled. I wondered before where I would take Mira if she couldn't come along. But now that doesn't seem to be a problem.

"Alright, everyone take a couple of bags and then hello Star City! Oh, Lexi, you'll love it! It's much warmer than Gotham, and less crime-filled. Of course, there's still problems here and there, but we don't want Green Arrow and Speedy losing their jobs!"

I stared at Addy in shock. She was never an observant one, but she must've known that Speedy was now Red Arrow, and that he was solo. Surely she meant Artemis?

My heart hurt as I thought of the blonde archer and how her face had twisted into a snarl the last time I saw her. I missed her so much, all of them. Even Zatanna by my side would make me feel better.

As soon as the red van was packed, I turned to my sister, "Hey, we got to make a quick stop first."

Adelaide groaned, but Jared laughed, "Okay, Kiddo. Where are we going?"


"Tell me again why we're at Bruce Wayne's house?" My sister asked again, tearing her eyes from the large manor.

"House? This is a freakin' mansion!" Jared exclaimed, open mouthed.

"Because I owe him," I said earnestly. And that was true, I did owe him, "He practically saved my life. Don't worry, I'll just drop this off at the door and then we'll go to Star City."

"And how will you do that?" She stared skeptically at the large gates.

"I usually climb over. Bruce lets me do that."

Addy rested her head on the dashboard, "You are one strange kid."

I grinned at her and opened the car door. In my hand was the yellow package that contained my uniform. On top of it were two letters, one titled "Bruce", the other titled "The Team". The one to Bruce was an actual letter, the one to the Team was the drawings I did of them during my time at the Wayne Manor.

True to my word, I nimbly climbed the fence, using every handhold I could reach. Bruce really didn't make it easy, did he?

I booked it up to the top of the driveway, and set the package gently on the doorstep.

"Goodbye, Bruce," I whispered, gazing at the large door, "Thank you for everything you ever done for me."

I made my way back to the gate, climbed over the fence again, and was back in the car before you could say "Flash."

"Anymore trips I need to know about?" Jared asked good-naturedly.

"Nope. Let's go."


The airplane lifted off the ground, and my ears popped. I let tears slowly trail down my face as the ground became smaller. I looked out the window and watched as Gotham City, my one and only home, receded into a hazy smudge.

I tore my eyes away only after my city had disappeared from view, then faced forward again, ready to start my new life.