A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. What I do own is an assortment of ear canal infection medications for my son. Luckily he's feeling good enough to go to school, after having to miss the first day. Poor guy. Hopefully he doesn't prove to be allergic to all the med's he's taking...like I am. :D Darn gene pool...
Reviews last chapter were even higher than the chapter before. I'm still in shock. And I kinda wanna kiss all of you, even the ones still hating on Angela. Also, it seems you're pretty evenly split on being mad at Edward or Bella, or just wanting to bang them together until they straighten themselves out. I'm all for that one, or maybe we could just have them bang each other until they straighten things out. That sounds like more fun to me. :)
Thanks to my uberbeta coldplaywhore. She's on vacay this week, which is probably cool since she hates my Edward and she may very well break things out of frustration before she finishes reading this chapter.
Thanks to my superbeta MaggieMay14 for stepping in and subbing this week. She did this super quick, after spending a weekend at concerts and losing her voice. Although, maybe the losing her voice thing came from her screaming "NOOOOOOOO!" over and over again while reading this chapter... :D Also, she saw our chapter song's singer in concert and said she was awesome! I saw Jordin at Virgin Records. It was Thanksgiving weekend, I was tired, my feet hurt...I didn't wait in line for her autograph. But she looked pretty. :D
Thanks to my prereaders Twilight44, Unchanged Affections, & burntcore. Twilight44 is on vacay as well, and she won't be happy with what she comes home to. Sorry, in advance. :) The other two girls...I don't know how I'd do this without their help. :) And big thanks to bugsmama07 for sub prereading this chapter. She always has the best comments... :D
Thanks to My Constants and My Girlies. They are lovely…
Thanks to My Wifey, Mrs. Robward. She and I are gonna be outlining our new angsty collab real soon. I'm excited... :)
The girls that got this chapter early were: acydrose, Almere, ana rod, fen29, maizeandblueinvalpo, Agrutle, lovingit3, pfarrell, scary1016, secretobsession7, symphiann, JaspersEmotionalGirl, VampDGurl, Tinas31, Meli1518, 1sparklygirl, MsEm, gracielaw, dazzled72, .twilight2, andmamacullen. Thanks for all the wonderful comments, girls. They really helped, you have no idea how nervous I am about this one. :D
Hey robertnkristen, your PM's aren't on, so I couldn't send this to you. :( And LOVE2READ1001, I PM'd you... If either of you get in touch with me, I'll send you the next chapter early. :)
There's something I wanted to say...and I can't remember it now. Oh well. Just keep in mind...HEA, HEA, HEA. I promise it will happen. But for now, enjoy some angsty goodness. :D
o~*~o~*~o~*~o
WHTM Ch 29 - Battlefield
Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield
One word turns into war
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you're gone
I'm out here without a shield
Can't go back now
Can't swallow our pride
Neither of us wanna raise that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no
Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
Why does love always feel like a battlefield?
I guess you better go and get your armor
"Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks
o~*~o~*~o~*~o
Friday afternoon when I picked E.C. up from preschool, there was a note in his backpack from Renee. It didn't seem rude or angry, so I assumed that Bella hadn't told her about the previous afternoon. The message simply said that E.C.'s Halloween costume was at her house, and I could pick it up anytime Friday evening. E.C. seemed pretty excited to show me what he'd picked out, and he refused to tell me what it was. I knew he was a little boy and that he'd have a fun night regardless of what he dressed up as, but part of me hoped it wasn't anything too girly. He was a boy, and I wanted him to be into boy things. He'd freaked me out one day when he came home from preschool carrying his Barbie. It might not have been so bad if he hadn't gone into detail about the princess dress he wanted to buy at the store. When I talked to my mom about it, she encouraged me to just go along with it, and soon enough I found him "marrying" his Barbie off to an Ironman action figure. I didn't worry so much after that.
Friday evening after picking up some pizza for dinner, E.C. and I went by to get his costume. Renee handed me the bag and a wrapped gift that had a card and map attached to it.
"E.C. got invited to a birthday party tomorrow morning. I hope it's alright, and that you can fit it into your schedule," she said, her voice sounding apologetic.
"Um, yeah, that should be fine. This map shows where it is?"
"Yeah, it's not too far from your house, and it's only two hours. He doesn't even have to stay the whole time, if you don't want him to. I told the mom that he may not be able to make it, so I'll leave it up to you." Renee smiled at me, and I knew she was being sincere. It felt good that she was trying her best to make things between Bella and I easier.
"Daddy, can I go to da party? I's for Lucie at school. Pwease, Daddy? I una go."
E.C. looked up at me, bouncing up and down in front of me.
"Yeah, I think that's fine. I'll take you over there, okay?"
"Yay!" he yelled, running all around the living room.
"Maybe tell Lucie's mom to not let him have too much cake and ice cream tomorrow. He's already pretty excited about this weekend," Renee laughed, rolling her eyes at E.C.'s sudden display of acrobatics on the sofa.
"I think that's a good idea."
"Well, take lots of pictures of E.C. in his costume for me, okay?" Renee said, letting out a long breath. "This is the first Halloween I won't get to see him. Are you taking him Trick or Treating, or do you know of any parties or anything?" she asked.
"Oh, well my neighborhood does Trick or Treating in the evening and then I guess there's some kind of little carnival or something. I thought maybe we'd check that out. I think a couple of my friends from school might come with us. They mentioned not really having any plans that night, so we'll see." I didn't have the heart to tell Renee that it was mainly Angela I was talking about. It wasn't a lie, though, since Randall had mentioned he would be home alone, and without really thinking about it, I invited him to go along with us. The more the merrier, I figured.
"That sounds like fun, I'm sure you'll love it."
I cleared my throat, shifting nervously on my feet. "Um, did you want us to come by here? I mean, I'd be happy to bring him by, or if he usually Trick or Treats around here, we could come here. I don't know your schedule or anything."
Renee's eyes lit up. "Really? You'd bring him by? I would love that, Edward. Please do. Uh, we usually Trick or Treat up and down the street, but you don't have to if you don't want to. But I really would love see him. I know Bella would, too. She's not working Sunday night, so she'll be home. Could you bring him?"
Smiling at her, I nodded. "Of course, we'll come by. Do you think I should mention it to Bella? I mean, I don't think she's gonna want to see me any time soon, but maybe I should talk to her about it."
Renee's smile faded a bit. "Yeah, I guess you could. She's working tomorrow during the day. Maybe you could stop by while E.C.'s at the party. You could talk to her for a few minutes then, that would probably work best for both of you."
I promised Renee that I would. I gathered up E.C. and his costume, along with the birthday present, and we headed home. Once we got home, E.C. chose a cartoon movie on Netflix and we settled in at the coffee table in the living room to eat our pizza.
After dinner was done, E.C. hurried to his bedroom so that he could put on his costume. I should have known what it would be as soon as I heard the heavy breathing from the hallway minutes later.
"Whooooooo, heeeeeeee, whooooooo. Daddy look! I'n Dard Vader!"
E.C. walked into the living room with his little black outfit on, a long black cape hanging over his back, and a Darth Vader helmet on his head. Instantly, the Star Wars music started running through my mind and I was reminded of the ominous song that always played when Darth Vader came onto the screen. I smiled with delight that my son had chosen such a good costume, and was overjoyed when he pulled a light saber out of the belt hanging around his waist.
"Luke, I'n am your fader," he said in his best Darth Vader voice. I laughed and laughed as he spent a good part of the evening trying to bring me over to the dark side. Halloween was going to be a fun night, I could already tell.
Saturday morning E.C. and I got up early. There were some weeds that had sprouted up in the backyard and I wanted to get them pulled before the day got too warm. The weather wasn't really too hot for Florida, but for someone coming from the Pacific Northwest, it was pretty warm. I was slowly adjusting to it, and I was looking forward to the warm winter months. While we might get some rain here and there, I was pretty sure Miami wouldn't be seeing any snow or ice.
Angela texted me to see if we were still on for Trick or Treating the next night. Randall was gung ho and already had a costume, so Angela was curious if she needed one, too. I remembered a leather jacket I had in my closet, and after mentally pairing it with jeans and a T-shirt, I decided that it might be fun to dress up. I texted back, telling her to wear her costume and that we'd all dress up. It was my first Halloween as a dad and I wanted to make sure that E.C. had a great time with me and my friends. I knew that he would miss Bella, Renee, and Phil, but I wanted to make it a fun night for him.
E.C. got dressed and ready for the birthday party, and we drove to the house. He chattered the whole way about how Lucie was the cutest girl in school, and how he wanted to marry her someday. I wondered if he would ever mention marriage and the fact that Bella and I weren't married. I thought he might have heard some things at school as far as what was typical behavior for mommies and daddies, but he'd never said much to me about it. Maybe he was used to not having a dad around since he'd only ever been with Bella. I assumed it would come up at some point, and I just hoped that when it did, I'd be ready and know what to say.
The party was in full swing when we got there. The theme was Disney Princesses, which I knew about since I'd grown up with Alice for a sister, and she had spent years thinking she actually was a princess. E.C. ran ahead to his friends who were all playing some kind of game with a bean bag. He had apparently played it before, because he jumped right in and only looked back at me to grin and wave a few times.
"You must be E.C.'s dad. I'm Miranda, Lucie's mom," the woman next to me said, introducing herself. "Thanks so much for bringing him over. Renee said he might not be able to come since it's your weekend with him."
"Sure, no problem. He's excited to be here, so it's fine," I said to Miranda. She looked like a normal mom, and I didn't get the feeling that I should be worried about leaving E.C. there with her. There were several other mom's standing around the food table, talking and laughing. Most of them looked over toward me at some point, which I figured was normal. Apparently, I was the only dad in attendance and none of them knew me. I was just glad that none of them were watching me too closely.
"You can take off if you need to, or if you want to stick around, some of the other moms will be here helping," Miranda said. "There's food and drinks over there and we'll have cake and ice cream later."
I smiled. "I've actually got a couple of errands to run, if you don't mind. I can come back in a little while to pick him up. I'll give you my cell number, in case there's a problem."
"Sure thing, we'll be here."
I jotted down my number for her, and then went to tell E.C. that I was leaving. He introduced me to Lucie, a very cute little girl in a purple dress. Her dark, curly hair reminded me of Bella. After kissing E.C. on the head, and making him laugh in the process, I wished the birthday girl a happy birthday and then left.
I had planned to drive straight to Bella's work, but I was nervous. I circled the block a few times, and then drove through a fast food restaurant to get some fries and a milk shake. I needed something to calm my nerves. Though, if I was being honest with myself, I was just stalling. After an hour, I knew that I'd need to get back to pick up E.C. soon, and I couldn't put it off any longer. I drove to the campus and parked in the lot closest to Bella's work.
As I walked toward the coffee shop, I really hoped for my own sake that I didn't run into Jacob. He was the last person I wanted to see. I couldn't figure out why Bella was still friends with him, or if she even was. I thought about it and realized I hadn't ever asked her, point blank, if they were still friends. Why she would want that jerk around, I didn't know. Unless they really were dating, like he said. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if he had just been playing me. Everyone, except him, kept saying that nothing was going on between them... So why did I believe him so easily?
I felt like smacking myself upside the head. I had been so gullible, but at the same time, he knew things he wouldn't have known unless Bella told him. How would he have known that I'd be at her house that day to talk to her? And how would he know that she was keeping a secret from me, unless he was in on it? I didn't really know the depth of their friendship, nor did I want to, and I continued to question things as I got closer to the shop and Bella.
Once it was in sight, I paused, taking a deep breath and mentally preparing myself for Bella. I didn't know what her mood might be, but I was doing this for my son. I wanted to make E.C. happy, and I knew that seeing his mom on Halloween would do that. No matter what my personal feelings were, I had to put them aside for the good of my son. I stood up straighter, pushed my shoulders back, and walked toward the shop.
Looking through the windows as I approached, I only saw one person behind the counter, and it was Steph who I had met previously. There were a few people sitting at tables in the dining area, but that was all. I couldn't see Bella, and better yet, I didn't see Jake. So far, so good, I thought to myself.
The door made a little chiming noise as I walked through, and Steph looked up. She smiled, obviously recognizing me. "Hey, you're Edward, right? E.C.'s dad? How you been?" she asked as she wiped the counter with a wet rag.
"I'm good, thanks. How are you?" I asked, trying to be polite.
"Fine, things are great. What can I get you?"
I cleared my throat before answering her. "Well, I was actually looking for Bella. Her mom said she was working today, and I was hoping maybe she was here."
The bright smile dropped a little from Steph's face, and her hand stopped moving around the counter top. "Oh yeah, she's here. She's in the back. You want me to go get her? Or, if you want, you can go back there. Our boss never comes in on the weekend, so no one will care."
"Sure. Thanks, Steph. I appreciate it."
She laughed. "Seriously? It's not for you, it's just that I remember what happened last time you were here. I don't need any of the customers complaining about my shift. Just try to keep it to a dull roar, okay?"
I smiled at her. "Okay, I will." I stepped around the counter and walked toward the door that led to the kitchen and back area of the store. Stepping through the door, the sugary sweet smells of a bakery wafted through the air. Flour and some type of fresh dough were laying on a work table, so I knew Bella was somewhere nearby. I looked around the empty room for a moment, noticing the back door propped open. I wondered if she was outside, and just as I stepped toward the door, I heard voices off to my right. Slowly, I walked in the direction they came from and looking around a set of metal shelves, I saw Bella standing near an office door. Just as I was about to say something, Jacob stepped closer to her, and I froze.
Bella was standing there in her work clothes, while Jacob was in shorts and a T-shirt. He obviously wasn't working that day, so he must have just been there to see her. Bella stood still, looking nervously around at the floor as Jacob stepped even closer to her. I watched as her chest moved faster, her breathing picking up. Her hair was pulled back in a pony tail, and I could see the muscles in her throat as she swallowed.
"Bella, come on," Jake quietly said to her.
"Jake, I just...I don't..." Bella's voice was soft, yet it sounded uncertain and a little shaky.
I stood silently, waiting to see what would happen. My heart began to pound in my chest as he lifted his hands up and I watched him place them on either side of Bella's face, tilting her head up so that she would look at him.
"Jake..." she whispered.
"Shhh, don't, it's okay," he said. Everything around me began to turn red as I watched him lower his face toward hers, his lips getting closer and closer to her mouth. I wanted to run forward and grab him, to pull him away from her, but something stopped me.
Bella stood as still as I was standing, her arms hanging at her sides. I could see that she was watching Jake as he got closer to her, and she wasn't stopping him. Her lips were parted just a bit, and as he inched closer to her, I saw her tongue peek out and wet them. Suddenly, their actions registered in my head. He was going to kiss her, and I was going to stand idly by and watch it happen.
As Jacob's lips touched Bella's, I felt a stabbing pain in my chest. My mouth hung open in disbelief, and I prayed with everything in me that she would push him away and tell him to stop. His lips pressed against hers, then pulled back, only to press against hers again. As the seconds ticked away, I saw Bella's eye lids slide closed, and her hands rose up and grasped onto Jacob's arms. I hoped that this was it, the point when she would push him away, but instead, her fingers tightened in the fabric of his shirt. She pulled him closer just a bit, and then her lips started to move with his.
I couldn't feel anything anymore. Where there had been pain only a few moments earlier, there was now nothing. I stood stone still, watching as they kissed, Jake pressing his mouth harder against hers while they continued to move in unison. Before long, Bella was standing on her tip toes in an effort to get closer to him, and pulling him toward her with her hands. I saw her lips slide open, and felt like vomiting when a bit of Jake's tongue was visible just before he pushed it into her mouth. Her hands climbed up his arms, wrapping around his neck, as one of his hands fell down to her waist, pulling her body tight against his.
It was hard to register that what I was watching was real, but it was. I was seeing my worst nightmare come to life right before my eyes. When they finally pulled their lips away from each other, Jacob rested his forehead against Bella's, just like I had always done with her. Bella was breathing rapidly, and her eyes were closed. I thought I saw her brow furrow a bit as her hands dropped back down to her side. The two of them stood in their frozen positions, and I felt the need to run as fast and far away from them as I could.
Quietly, so that I wouldn't be heard, I turned around and went back through the door.
"Was she back there?" Steph asked, glancing over at me.
"Yeah. Uh, she's busy. I'll just talk to her later." My voice sounded lifeless and hollow.
"Oh, alright. You want anything before you go?"
"No, thanks." Walking numbly to the door, I was ready to leave, but looked over my shoulder one more time. "Hey Steph, don't tell her I was here, okay?" I watched as Steph nodded back to me.
I pushed out of the door and into the sunlight. Any hope that I'd been feeling minutes earlier was now gone. Not only was I sure that Bella was dating Jacob, but I'd witnessed it with my own eyes. It was a scene I would not soon forget. I wasn't sure if I was more angry or hurt by what I'd seen, but for the moment I was numb and in shock.
Somehow I got back to my car, having not really paid attention to where I was walking. All I knew now was that I needed to get to E.C. I needed him with me. I needed the calm that he would bring to my heart and spirit. Him being near always had a way of making me feel better, and after what I'd just seen, I needed that.
As I drove away from the university, my heart broke. It really was over between Bella and me. The last little shred of hope that I'd been hanging on to seemed to shrivel up right before my eyes. It was too late to fix what had been broken between us, and I needed to accept that fact. We were done.
o~*~o~*~o~*~o
Sunday was a blur. I was grateful that E.C. had chosen a costume that didn't require any make up or hair color. All we had to do was put his clothes and helmet on, grab his light saber, and we were good to go. Randall and Angela were meeting us at my house around five that evening. We were going to take E.C. Trick or Treating for a little while before going over to the carnival that had been set up in the park down the street. He was pretty excited and could hardly be still long enough to eat his lunch that day. After a reminder that he couldn't have any candy until he'd eaten something healthy, he scarfed down his macaroni and cheese. He spent the next hour or so in his room, practicing collecting candy from the stuffed animals on his shelves. After a short nap, he was anxious to get dressed and start on his evening.
Randall showed up a few minutes after five. He was decked out as Dracula, with the glue on vampire teeth and everything. E.C. squealed in delight at seeing his new friend, and he couldn't wait to show Randall off to the other kids that would be at the carnival. A few minutes later Angela showed up, and when I saw her, my eyes about bugged out of my head. If' I had any inappropriate thoughts about her before, they were nothing compared to what was running through my head as she walked toward the front door. Randall let out a low whistle and elbowed me in the ribs.
"Mother of all things holy, did you know she could look like that?" he whispered, as we both watched Angela approach us.
Her hair was pulled up into a pony tail and she was dressed up in a cheerleader uniform. A set of pom poms were held by one hand while she waved to E.C. with the other.
"Wow! You's a cheerweeder, Angewa! Like at da football games." E.C. clapped his hands, happy to see that another of his friends had dressed up.
"E.C., you look so great! I love your Darth Vader costume! Do you have a light saber and everything?" she asked as she knelt in front of him, smiling up at Randall and me.
"Yep, I's got one, see?"
Angela laughed as he began to wield it around and make swooshing sounds, as though it was slicing through the air.
"Great costumes, you two," Angela said, standing up and looking over both Randall and me.
"Thanks," Randall mumbled, obviously still a little in awe of the way Angela looked in her short skirt and tight vest.
I had known a lot of cheerleaders in my time. Having been a quarterback for pretty much the past ten years, they tended to flock to me. Most of them let me do whatever I wanted to, and as a result, I knew how to attach, and unattach, every piece of Angela's outfit. I shifted a little, trying to hide the quickly growing erection that was threatening to blow my cool cover. My jeans were old and dingy, but would still clearly show if I got too excited about something.
"So, I know you're a vampire, Randall, but what are you, Edward? Is this some kind of Rebel Without a Cause thing? 'Cause it's sexy and totally working for you," Angela said. I could see a hint of teasing on her face and hear it in her words, but I just smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, that's me. James Dean. You like it?"
"Absolutely," she said, smiling brightly at me.
Trick or Treating went well. Angela and I hung back a bit and laughed at Randall and E.C.'s exuberance over the candy they were both getting. Seeing Randall run around like an overgrown child, you never would have guessed that he was a medical student with a 4.0 GPA. As we walked, Angela asked if I'd had a chance to talk to Bella about the night. I told her what had happened the day before.
"Edward, I'm so sorry. Maybe it wasn't what you thought. Maybe it was like what Bella assumed of us the other day. I don't think you should jump to conclusions just yet. Talk to her, tell her what you saw, and give her a chance to explain."
I sighed, letting the sadness I'd been feeling for the past twenty-four hours wash over me. "I think I just need to accept that it's finally over. I don't know what else to do. I feel bad about it, but I don't think I can sit and listen to her tell me that it's exactly what I think it is. I can't handle the thought of her confirming my worse fears, you know?"
Angela nodded. "I get it, I do. At least think about what I said, okay? You know, deep down, that you would have wanted Bella to give you a chance to explain the other day. You need to give her that same chance. From what it sounds like, she doesn't even know you saw her, so you need to say something."
I thought over Angela's words as the night went on. The carnival was fun and E.C. got to play a lot of games. Randall had several of the single women in my neighborhood following him around. When it was time for us to leave for Bella's house, he decided to stay and enjoy all the attention he was getting. I laughed at his excitement and said that we'd see him after we got back.
The three of us piled into my car and we drove toward Bella's house. E.C. told Angela all about his house and the toys he had there. She laughed and gave him her undivided attention during the entire ride over. Once we got to Bella's neighborhood, we had to park down the street a ways from her house. There were kids everywhere, and E.C. wanted to stop at each house as we walked. His bag got more and more full of candy as each of his neighbors piled in handfuls once they knew he was Renee's little grandson.
As we approached Bella's house, Renee and Phil were sitting outside on the porch. E.C. dropped his bag on the ground and took off running toward them. Renee screamed with delight when she saw him, jumping out of her chair to meet him in the yard. Phil laughed, and I could see the pride in him over seeing E.C.'s costume. I knew I was right in assuming who had gotten my son hooked on Star Wars.
"Bella! Get out here! E.C.'s here!" Renee yelled back to the house. I picked up E.C.'s bag and Angela and I slowly approached the house.
"Maybe I should stay back here, Edward. I don't wanna cause any problems," Angela said, pausing on the sidewalk in front of the house next door to Bella's.
"No, come on. It's fine. I don't have anything to hide, and besides, Bella's the one dating someone else. We both know there's nothing going on between us, right?" I asked.
"Yeah, I guess so." Her voice was hesitant, her words laced with uncertainty.
"If Bella has a problem then it's her problem, not mine. And it's certainly not yours, so come on. I'm sure Renee and Phil would like to meet E.C.'s new friend."
For some unknown reason, I reached down and grabbed her hand, pulling her along behind me. She seemed to drag her feet for a few moments, before finally falling into step behind me. It was obvious that I was holding onto her hand tighter than she was holding mine, and I wondered what she was thinking. I knew enough about her to know that she was still reeling from her last relationship, and she wasn't looking for someone new. I just hoped that she would be okay with my display of affection, even though my meaning behind it wasn't romantic. I just wanted her support and her company while I faced Bella again.
As Bella stepped out of the house, her eyes seemed to fall instantly on me, then travel down my body to where I was still holding Angela's hand. Bella stumbled a bit, tripping out the door and nearly falling onto the porch. She righted herself quickly, then looked away from me, her eyes bouncing around to every one but me.
"Momma!" E.C. called out to her, squirming out of Renee's arms and running to Bella.
"Hi, baby," she said, kneeling down and pulling him to her. She buried her face in his neck, which I was sure couldn't feel good. His helmet was hard and probably rough against her face. As I watched her, I saw her fingers and immediately my mind ran back to the day before. Her fingers had inched up Jake's arm, finally burying themselves in his hair as he kissed her. I saw her eyelids that were closed so tightly, the same way they'd closed when Jake kissed her. I saw her lips as she kissed E.C.'s helmet, remembering what they'd looked like as she used them to kiss Jake.
My fingers squeezed Angela's hand tighter, and I felt her try to let go. I tightened my hold, looking over at her and begging her with my eyes to hang on. She seemed to understand what I needed, and she shifted slightly behind me, raising her other hand and placing it on my upper arm. "I'm right here, you're fine. Please let go, this is making me really uncomfortable. I'm not going anywhere, don't worry."
Out of respect for my friend, I let go of her, then took a step forward in an effort to put some distance between us.
"Edward, thank you so much for bringing him. He looks so wonderful," Renee said, coming to stand next to me. Once she spotted Angela behind me, her smile changed a bit. "Oh, who is this?" she asked.
"Renee, this Angela, one of my friends from school. She came out with us tonight. Our friend Randall also came, but he found some admirers at the carnival and decided to stay there and talk a while longer."
Renee reached her hand out to Angela. "Well, it's very nice to meet you, Angela. I've actually heard quite a bit about you from my grandson. He seems quite taken with you, I must say."
Angela smiled shyly. "Thank you, it's nice to meet you, too. He's such a sweet little boy, I've really loved getting to know him a little bit. It looks like you guys have been busy with Trick or Treaters tonight."
"Oh, yes. There were quite a few. The costumes seem to get better and better each year. It's so fun to see all the kids out running around. And it's so nice that you guys dressed up, too. How fun! I'm sure E.C. loved it."
"Yeah, Nana, you gotta see Rando. Him's like a vampire with poiny teef. I wanna be a vampire nex time, kay Momma?" E.C. said.
"Sure thing, baby," Bella said, keeping her eyes fixed on our son.
Phil stood up and walked over to meet Angela, shaking her hand as he introduced himself.
"Momma, come see Angewa," E.C. said, pulling Bella's hand as he started walking to where Angela and I were standing.
"Hi, Bella," Angela said softly.
"It's okay, E.C., we already met," Bella said, her voice low and a little unstable.
Bella looked up at me, her eyes glossy and clearly troubled. For a moment I felt sad about the way she was looking at me. It seemed she was sad, hurt even. When her eyes glanced over to Angela, there was no anger there. The only thing I could clearly see was something that resembled jealousy. Why she might be feeling that, I wasn't sure, but suddenly images of her and Jake flashed through my mind again, and I didn't care. I wanted to hurt her the way she'd hurt me. Even if she didn't know that I'd seen her, I had, and the images were forever burned into my mind.
"Well, we're gonna get going, I guess. We need to get back and make sure that Randall is doing all right at the carnival. Plus, we all have class early tomorrow morning, so we shouldn't be out too late," I said.
"Oh, of course. Thank you for coming by, this was really wonderful." Renee reached over and hugged me, then shook Angela's hand again. "It was lovely to meet you, Angela. I'm sure we'll see you again sometime."
"It was nice to meet you, too," Angela said.
E.C. hugged everyone again, then took off his helmet so that he could kiss Bella. She wouldn't see him again until Wednesday and I felt a little bad for her about that. Maybe if we'd been able to talk and work things out, we wouldn't have had to resort to this custody arrangement, but that's not how things were between us. Neither of us seemed to be able to communicate with the other, for some unknown reason. Maybe someday in the future we would figure it out, but I wasn't going to hold my breath anymore.
As we turned to walk away, I reached out and grabbed Angela's hand again, holding it firmly in mine. Looking over at her, I watched her close her eyes, gritting her teeth as she sighed deeply. I knew she wasn't happy with me, but I also knew that she understood my need for her support in that moment. E.C. ran happily along with us, singing to himself and waving to the neighbor lady next door.
I looked over my shoulder once more as we left the yard, Bella stood frozen on the porch, her eyes locked on me. Her lips were parted and her brow creased a little. She was too far away for me to see for certain what she was thinking. I once again remembered the way Jake had slid his arm around her, and instinctively, I let go of Angela's hand and placed my hand on the small of her back.
"Edward?" she quietly asked.
"It's fine," I whispered, still watching Bella. "Let's go home."
I wasn't proud of myself for intentionally trying to hurt Bella, but I needed to do it. Somewhere deep inside of me, the desire to make her hurt as much as I did was screaming at me. It was only fair that she should feel what I felt. She deserved it. I pushed down the anxious feelings that were building inside of me and kept walking, finally letting go of Angela once we were far enough away that I knew Bella couldn't see us.
"Thanks," I said softly as we approached my car.
Angela looked closely at me for a moment, waiting until I had strapped E.C. in his seat and closed the door. "Edward, you can't use me to hurt her. I hope you know that. It's not only unfair to her, but it's unfair to me."
I watched her, noticing the way her lips were pressed together in a thin line, her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Clearly, she was unhappy with me, and in shame, I looked down at the ground. "I know, I'm sorry."
"You need to be sure of what you want. If it's really over with her, and you want to move on, then we can talk about it. But until you're one hundred percent sure, don't do this to me. Okay?"
I nodded, silently promising to be better to her. She didn't deserve to get sucked into my insanity. She was a good person and a good friend. Now I just needed to decide for myself if I only wanted her as a friend, or if maybe I wanted more.
o~*~o~*~o~*~o
A/N: Yeah, so like I said...things are angst-ing up. :) And now you know why Superbeta kept saying "NOOOOOOO!" to me. :D And seriously, how cute was E.C. in his little "Dard Vader" costume? I linked the commercial that inspired this one on my blog. I knew, when I saw it during the Super Bowl, that it would be one of my favorites. It still is... :D
How about some rec's?
We Were Here by lola-pops. Upon waking, there's a brief, blissful period in which you don't yet recall the sins of the night before, but eventually, you have to open your eyes. I'm Bella Swan, seventeen years old, cheerleader. This morning I woke up in the wrong bed. This story...oh goodness. This story is so wonderful. Edward is troubled, Bella is privileged, Rose is a mess, Jasper is a jerk, and it's hard not to fall in love with all of them! This story is kinda edgy and delves into the darker, more dangerous side of life. The author writes it with such knowledge and so many facts, I have to wonder if maybe this is her real story. It's that good.
http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6562901/1/
House of Cards by therunaway1. Bella's in love with Edward, but she sets him up with her friend Kate. Both hit it off and get married. Bella hurts but takes it in stride. But what happens when married Edward tells Bella he's in love with her? Hurt so good affair, I think. This story is exactly my kind of angst. :D I love that Edward and Bella are both in love with each other, yet they've never said anything. Then, just when things might work out perfectly, they miss it. It's a wonderful story, and I couldn't love it more. Like I said...the angst. Oh golly, it's intense. And so good...
http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6783187/1/House_of_Cards
And for something complete...
Saddle Up Your Heart by RenaBug1. In 1870, Bella Swan arrives in Virginia City, Nevada, as the new school teacher. She meets Sheriff Edward Cullen as soon as she falls off the stagecoach. Will events draw them together or drive them apart? I must admit, this was much fluffier than I normally read, but it's a period piece, set in the 1870's west, and I couldn't resist it. :D I loved all the little details the author put in this. They made this really fun to read. Plus, I love how proper Edward is in his pursuit of Bella. :D The story is rated T, but don't worry...she's got an M rated outtake that's fun. I quite enjoyed it. :D Edward was a little surprising in that, I gotta say. :D
http:/www().()fanfiction().()net/s/6975339/1/Saddle_Up_Your_Heart
So, as always, 1 in 10 reviewers will get the next chapter early. The new review system thing goes through the PM system, so make sure your PM's are turned on so that I can contact you. :) And if this chapter gets more reviews than last chapter, I might pick one out of every 5... I probably will. :D
Plus if you review, I'll send you a teaser for next chapter. You'll like it, I promise. Next chapter is even angstier than this...which I must admit, I love. :D
I'm on Twitter, and it's fun.
And this has a thread on Twilighted. I don't go there a lot, which is horrible of me.
Links to all of these are on my profile, as well as for the PIC blog, which I love.
Check out PIC for lots of amazing story rec's, author interviews, contests, and more. It's fun…I promise. :)
So what do you think of Angela at this point? Still think she's got a hidden agenda? I'm curious to see... :)
