Christmas and New Year came and went. Diego never felt much joy during the holiday season at the best of times, but this year his mood was as grey and miserable as the slush melting in the exercise yard. Machi's birthday came and went. Twenty-four years old, and already his star had risen and fallen. Diego smirked a little at the thought. I know how it feels, kid. I just hope you handle it better than I did.
xxx
February, the month when everything had begun and ended, brought soft rain and thawing ground, but no word of Machi. Diego told himself no news was good news. If something else terrible had happened, the vultures of the tabloid press would be circling.
Diego marked his conviction date by tallying up the years he'd been in prison. Seventeen, if he reckoned right. He frowned at his "I Heart California" calendar, restored to its former place on the cell wall. It was two years out of date, and no-one was going to give him a new one any time soon.
Maybe that was why visiting day snuck up on him.
"Armando, you got a visitor."
The guard had to say it twice before Diego really understood. He hauled himself shakily to his feet, his mouth dry and his heart pounding. It couldn't be, he thought as they led him down to the visiting room.
It was.
Machi was sitting at the window furthest from the door. He was thinner and paler than the last time Diego had seen him, and the oversized white hoodie he was wearing didn't help any. Still, Diego couldn't stop a wide smile from spreading across his face as the guards escorted him over to the window.
Machi picked up the phone as Diego sat down. Up close, Diego could see his undercut was growing back in, and there was a light dusting of stubble on his face. Machi glanced at Diego briefly, then looked away, hunching into his too-big hoodie. Diego frowned. It looked like he would have to make the first move. He wet his lips.
"Return of the Mack. I knew that you'd be back."
Machi looked at him then, and gave Diego a smile. It faded all too quickly.
"I shit, Diego," he murmured. He looked away, frowning. "I break my promise."
Diego sighed quietly and shook his head. Before he could try to say – or sing – something reassuring, Machi interrupted.
"You know, I think, 'oh, I twenty-two, I man now, I don't need mother to hold my hand on tour any more'," he said. He shook his head and huffed angrily into the phone. "But I wrong. I nothing but stupid kid."
Diego nodded slightly and settled back in his seat. Machi didn't need words right now; he just needed someone to listen. Luckily, Diego excelled at that.
"I have all these people say they my friends," Machi remarked. He was staring at the ledge below the window, his free arm wrapped around his waist. "I have people say I can have whatever I want. And get me what I want. I want rock star parties. Girls in swimming pool, throw TV out window, all that shit." He shook his head, scowling in disgust. "You have rock star parties, then you need something next morning to help you work, you know? And people get for you."
Diego huffed into the receiver. He was glad they'd thrown the book at Machi's goddamn manager for bringing that trash around him. Machi looked up at him and shook his head.
"No," he insisted. "I know Rascal in trouble now for getting drugs. But I take them. I want party and work, I don't want to choose. So I take anything. I take everything." He dropped his gaze and heaved a sigh. "Doctor say I lucky not to have incuritis."
Diego inhaled sharply. Machi really must have been doing anything and everything to run that risk.
"In the end, I so fucked up I can't play piano anymore," Machi continued. "And all my friends?" He snorted out a sarcastic laugh. "They see this, and what they do? They unplug my amp and have other guy play instead. Not help me get well."
He lowered his head and ran a hand through his hair, letting out a deep, shuddering breath. Diego waited while Machi composed himself. It was hard for any man to admit his mistakes, but it was particularly hard for a young man.
Eventually, Machi straightened up and spoke again.
"I find out in Berlin, blow a fuse. I punch guard and go to jail." He swallowed. "Judge say rehab or prison, so I go to rehab. Only then I see what real friends are."
Diego nodded. He knew all too well how it felt to learn a lesson when it was too late.
"Robin stay with me," Machi went on. "I so afraid that she leave me, but…" He paused, gnawing on his bottom lip. "She stay even after all the shit I do. Made me think of someone else."
He looked up at Diego, his eyes brimming with tears.
"You stood up for me, Diego. You took beating for me when I nothing to you," he said shakily. "You save me from ruining my life with Crescend." Machi put his free hand on his chest. "I have everything because of you. And what I do? I let you sit here thinking 'oh, he forget me, he not coming back'."
A tear rolled down Machi's cheek, and Diego pressed his hand against the glass between them. You can't cry yet, kid. The only time a man can cry is when it's all over.
Machi scowled and scrubbed away the lone tear with the sleeve of his hoodie.
"My manager took most of my money," he said. "But my mother hid some from him. Enough for one album and your therapy."
Diego shook his head. Now wasn't the time for that. Machi would need all the resources he had to get his life together.
"Yes," Machi insisted. He pressed his hand over Diego's palm, a look of fierce determination on his face. "I not break any more promises."
Diego sighed and shook his head again. I've waited this long, I can wait as long as it takes. I'm just happy you're all right.
"Diego. Please." Machi's voice had dropped to a murmur, and Diego gripped the receiver tighter. "Let me be a man."
There was only one response to Machi's request. Diego smiled at him, and nodded once.
xxx
When Machi came the next month, Diego actually felt his heart lift in his chest. He did his best not to let his happiness show in front of the guards, but he found himself shuffling a little faster on his way down to the visiting room.
Machi waved to him as Diego was escorted into the room. Diego couldn't help smiling at Machi as he picked up the receiver. It was amazing the difference that a single month of clean living, proper food, and enough sleep could make. Machi's face was less drawn, and he had some colour back in his cheeks. He was growing his beard and hair out, getting shaggy again. Instead of hiding himself in an oversized hoodie, he was wearing a blue button-down shirt that showed off his build. A pair of sunglasses dangled from his breast pocket.
"What, I look good?" Machi teased. "Hey, I taken."
Diego smirked and blew him a kiss.
"I start work on new album since I see you last," Machi continued. "I work with two other musicians – Klavier Gavin bring them to studio. One is also keyboard player from Borginia, Brontz LeBlanc."
He paused, looking at Diego expectantly. Diego frowned. Was the name supposed to mean something to him?
"You never hear of LeBlanc family?" Machi asked incredulously. "Collect and sell art?" Diego shook his head and Machi leaned back in his chair, his hands over his eyes. "Aw, man! I bringing you books next time I come. No dirty books, ones with words."
Diego chuckled.
"Okay, it mean nothing to you, but Brontz is grandson of Zinc LeBlanc," Machi explained. "Oh, this guy can play. Is beautiful." He winked at Diego. "I a little better though. But still. Is good guy to work with, I can speak to him Borginian and not this crazy language."
Diego shook his head with a smile. Don't knock English just yet, kid. The right words can unlock a lot of doors.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I need lessons," Machi said. "Hack always telling me. Other guy who work with me, DJ Hacktiv8, he's American. He very good with the turntables, the drum machines. We working all together, each improving the other's stuff – we creating whole different sound. I very excited, but little nervous too." He shrugged his shoulders with a grin. "I hope will sell."
Diego nodded. Whether the album sold or not, he was glad to see Machi so enthusiastic about making music again.
Machi's mood changed slightly, the smile disappearing from his face.
"I having trouble getting your therapy," he said, fidgeting slightly. "Money is ready, doctor is ready, prison say oh, we can't do it, we need this and this." He looked away, scowling. "I getting frustrate with all this red tape bullshit."
Diego shook his head slightly. Don't worry about it, kid. You just keep yourself busy and out of trouble. I'll be all right.
The guard gave them the signal to wrap things up. Machi sighed and straightened up in his chair, getting ready to leave.
"I see you soon, Diego," he said. "Next time I can explain better."
Diego nodded. Machi smiled at him as he hung up the receiver. Diego waved goodbye as he walked to the door. Machi turned and waved back, then slipped his sunglasses on and left the room.
The days were lengthening, getting warmer, and Diego found his mood improving along with the weather. He knew he should be wary and guard against the soul-destroying disappointment he'd suffered when Machi's visits had stopped, but he couldn't help it. After only two months, he was looking forward to visiting day. He couldn't explain it – something in Machi's eyes told him that this time the boy would keep his promises, come hell or high water.
"Come on, you got visitors."
Visitors? More than one? Diego wondered who Machi had brought with him as the guards escorted him to the visiting room. A young brunette was sitting next to Machi at the window, and Diego nodded, surprised he hadn't guessed before. Robin. She smiled at Diego as he sat down.
"Diego, this is my Robin," Machi said. He looked at the girl with a shy smile, then looked back at Diego. "She can tell you what going on with your therapy. My English is not so good, she can explain better."
He passed the phone to Robin. Robin pecked Machi on the cheek, then turned her attention to Diego.
"Hi, Mr. Armando," she said cheerily. "I'm Robin Newman, and it's nice to meet you, finally." She gave him a warm smile. "Machi talks about you all the time."
Diego sat up a little straighter, frowning in surprise. He looked at Machi, and the boy nodded. Diego couldn't help smiling at that. It was nice to be talked about in a good way.
"Anyway…" There was a brief crackle on the line as Robin clamped the receiver between her ear and shoulder and leaned down. She straightened back up again, a briefcase balanced on her lap. Diego waited while she opened it and retrieved a sheaf of papers. "…here's the situation." She passed her briefcase to Machi for safekeeping. "We've got a specialist in melodic intonation therapy all lined up for you. Based on your medical records and what Machi's told her, she reckons you're a good candidate for it. Everything is paid for and ready to roll."
Diego nodded. Machi had said as much on his last visit. He settled in and waited for the 'but'.
"The problem is," Robin continued, "you already completed speech therapy. The prison authorities don't actually have to provide you with any further treatment. In fact, the chief medical officer and the psychiatrist have noted that you've chosen not to speak for the last six years."
On the other side of the glass, Machi said something Diego couldn't hear. Robin put her free hand on his knee.
"I know, baby, but they don't care about that."
Machi scowled and looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. Diego felt his heart sink. Once again, he'd sabotaged his chances of a better life for himself. He should have stuck it out, put up with the taunting – they'd have found another punching bag eventually…
"Hey, don't give up yet!" Robin exclaimed with a grin. "The one thing you've got going for you is your behavioural record." She flicked through the papers in front of her. "It's been a little spotty lately, though." She leaned on the ledge and wagged her finger at him. "We need you to be G-O-O-D for the next few months, okay? No more snatching stuff, no more getting in fights."
Diego chuckled softly into the receiver. If Robin were a man, he would have felt insulted. But there was something incredibly gutsy about a cute little kitten who was prepared to stroll into the lion's den and scold an old man-eater about his behaviour. How could he tell her no?
He nodded.
"Yeah!" Robin pumped her fist. "We know you can do it. Keep that record clean and we'll take care of the rest, okay?"
Diego nodded again, and Robin handed the receiver back to Machi. Machi smiled at him.
"She my biggest…" He frowned and looked at Robin. "…fan?" Robin said something, and Machi corrected himself. "Supporter. She my biggest supporter." He gazed warmly at Robin. "Through everything."
Diego knew that look. He smirked and tapped the ring finger on his left hand. Machi broke into a wide grin and ducked his head down, chuckling. Next to him, Robin was looking on in confusion. She frowned and tapped Machi on the shoulder. Machi straightened up and managed to compose himself. He looked from Robin to Diego and back again, hesitating before he spoke.
"He think I should keep you," he explained, glancing at Diego before looking back at Robin. "I think so too."
Robin frowned for a moment, then brought her hands up to her face, her eyes shining as she understood what Machi meant.
No, no, kid, not here! Diego frowned and shook his head, waving his hand across his neck in the 'kill' gesture. Take her out to dinner or something. Have some class!
Machi looked at him and started to laugh again. He caught himself and Robin's hurt look immediately, and took her hand.
"He's saying I not do this right," he explained. He gestured to the visiting room. "He's right, this is not nice place to do this." His voice dropped to a murmur. "But I do want keep you. For always."
Robin gazed at Machi for a few moments, then flung her arms around him. Diego leaned on the ledge and smiled as Machi hugged her back. Congratulations, you crazy cats. I just wish I could be at your wedding.
