THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN SPLIT AND REPOSTED ON THE REQUEST OF TWO READERS WHO ARE UNABLE TO READ IT ON THEIR CELL PHONES DUE TO THE LENGTH, OR TO LEAVE A REVIEW. CARA AND ANONYMOUS, I HOPE YOU CAN SEE THIS NOW. TO THE REST OF YOU, I APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE, BUT THE SITE WON'T LET ME DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT WITHOUT ALERTING YOU ATLEAST ONCE. ALSO, AS SOMEONE HAS HELPFULLY POINTED OUT, THERE IS A MAJOR FLASHBACK SCENE IN THIS CHAPTER THAT IS NOTSET IN REAL TIME IN THE STORY, AND THE SITE HAS REMOVED THE 'FLASHBACK' DISCLAIMER BECAUSE IT WAS SURROUNDED BY UNSPACED PUNCTUATIONS LIKE '/'s AND THAT OFTEN HAPPENS ON FF. I'VE RECTIFIED THIS.
The Beginning of the Holiday- PART 2
Booth avoided his brother for a while, but then he decided not to think on it so much and make the most of their time together- these days, they didn't get a lot of it- and he went to find him. They spent a few hours together in the afternoon, trying the new playstation and enjoying old board games and the classic arcade machines that Pops had stashed away in the basement. Linda had to call them away for lunch three times before they reluctantly put their game controls down and traipsed up the stairs like petulant children. Seeley was given the task of finding Temperance, which after rolling his eyes- 'she's actually studying, the poor dear, and I didn't want to disrupt her concentration by bringing her down unnecessarily while you two were wasting away in that awful room because I knew it would take atleast half an hour to get you out'- he gladly acceded. He wisely chose not to point out that Bones usually took even longer to be dragged away from her work, if she agreed to leave at all- besides, she was all politeness when it came to meeting his grandparents' schedule when they were living in their house, and wasted little time deferring to Linda's maternal persuasions.
When he got upstairs, slightly bleary-eyed, she was moving about the room, putting things in order. He blinked, and simply watched her for a long moment, everything else forgotten. On her next foray across the room, he stepped in her way.
'Bones…' he breathed, lowering his lips to hers while the simple touch was like magic to them both, and when the shock of the reaction almost caused Brennan to pull away from him, his hands came to cradle her face. He backed her up ever so gently, still only kissing her- just the pressure from his lips and nothing more, and one hand came to rest lightly on her hip as the other rested on the wall over her head. Her head lightly thudded against the wall and her heart was thudding in her chest. 'Booth…'
This seemed to make him come to his senses- for a moment he just stood there, breathing in her air, and then he almost painfully removed his lips from hers, and moved away. For a moment he just looked at her silently, slightly horrified and fascinated by the way his body reacted to her entirely without his permission.
'Booth?'
'Yeah'. He turned and faced her, lifting his hand from his hair and running it over his face. His voice sounded slightly strange, but he was glad he managed to find it at all.
Brennan blinked, still affected- and slightly confused- by their brief kiss.'You said you had something to tell me'.
He blinked, trying to remember.
'Oh. Yeah.' He shifted his feet and cleared his throat. 'Uh, Linda said dinner was on the table'. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and raised his eyes to hers, mumbling, 'fifteen minutes ago.'
'Fifteen minutes ago?'
Well, actually, twenty. 'Yeah. I was, uh, finishing up a game with Jared, and then I came to get you right after, so…'
'You mean it had already been fifteen minutes when you came up here.'
Actually, twenty.
'Yeah.'
'And your grandparents have been waiting for us all this while.'
He winced. 'Yeah.'
'And you still thought it was appropriate to kiss me.' He'd spent a good deal of time just watching her move, but he wisely decided not to bring that up.
He made a small noise of agreement, deciding it was no use speaking anyway.
'Booth!'
'C'mon, Bones, let's just go down to dinner.' Taking her arm, he began to steer her towards the door.
She grabbed her cell phone and turned off the light, making some remark about his lack of attention to time and what could have possessed him to kiss her at such a moment, and he snapped.
'I don't know, OK, Bones?' His voice sounded unduly harsh even to his own ears, but his frustration was finally leaking over- at his inability to control himself and her inability to understand that he had to, and her soft, soft skin, and her insanely soft lips, and her long legs and her blue eyes… she had him completely undone and she didn't even know it. It wasn't the first time he'd expressed some frustration at the ability she possessed and her obtuseness with regard t it. The first day they'd gotten here, he'd taken her to the old barn in the evening, showing her around the other side of the extensive property that she'd yet to see properly. She'd been in a playful mood, he'd tickled her, they'd talked and laughed, he'd chased her, she'd leaned upwards and wrapped her arms around his neck, he'd kissed her. He closed his eyes, the scene playing in his mind's eye, unbidden and unstoppable.
He backed her against the stone fence and stepped between her legs, then leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. 'Holy fuck'. Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers again, only she was pressing back and oh my God that felt fucking incredible and wow. His tongue slipped out to touch her lips and mm… she suddenly pressed against him with uncontrollable and unrestrained passion and he just exploded. 'Mm…' Backing her up against the stone completely, he pushed his body against hers, fully pressed against her. Their heavy breathing mixed in the space between them, appearing to be ridiculously loud in the silence of the evening but neither of them were paying attention to anything but the other. He lifted her easily and placed her on the stone wall, stepping between her legs. He tilted his head lower to gain better access to her mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck. And then her mouth opened with a gasp, and his tongue slid inside, and everything had just… stopped. Time, space, matter, all of it. There was just her. And him. And them. 'Bones'… he choked out, his voice a sexy rasp. 'Baby…' He kissed her one more time and wrenched his lips away. 'What are you doing to me?'
He snapped back to the present, blinking in dim light of the now empty room that Bones had just stepped out of. He remembered the first time he'd wanted to kiss her- he still couldn't think back to the day without a degree of shame, and he felt a small, strange twinge at the recollection of it. He'd still never wanted like he wanted her, it still terrified him sometimes, he still didn't know how to handle it in many ways, and it still changed everything, but where he hadn't allowed himself to think on it in the past, he could now.
BEGINNING OF FLASHBACK
It was a few months after Teddy died. Cam had been staying with them for a night- she was in D.C for a conference, she needed a place to crash, they'd been broken up for a while and he genuinely did care for Cam and wanted to stay friends so he'd thought, why not. Temperance was at a sleepover, anyway, or so he thought- and he figured it couldn't hurt. He'd shown her to her room, and as he sat on the edge of the bed, their eyes met, it was familiar, and... established sexual rapport and all that, as Brennan put it, and he'd leaned in- for a chaste kiss goodnight- and then when she'd shown an interest in turning it into something more, he'd thought, why not. Then their lips met, and it felt so... wrong, and not in a good sort of way, but it wasn't altogether unpleasant, right, atleast it shouldn't be, she was a woman- a gorgeous one, by any standard- and he should really be feeling more, but he didn't, and he was pulling away and considering how to handle this delicately... and then he'd heard footsteps at the doorway and he'd pulled away instantly and whipped around, and Bones was standing there, eyes wide and mouth open slightly in shock, a small gasp escaping her lips.
'Oh, I'm sorry', she whispered.
'Bones, wait-' but she was out the door faster than he could blink.
He closed his eyes. 'Fuck', he muttered, before quickly moving to rise and go after her.
'Seeley?' Oh shit. He'd forgotten about her.
'Cam-' he turned around to look at her- he probably owed her that much. 'I'm sorry. I can't do this.' Ever.
And without waiting for a response he took off after Bones.
He found her in the living room, sitting on the couch and gathering her books for homework, seemingly in preparation to leave.
'Bones, that wasn't...'
'I'm sorry, Booth, I wasn't aware that you had company tonight. I just thought I heard some voices in the guestroom, so I came over to check.' Her tone, polite and so formal, grated at his nerves. Anyone who didn't know her better would have missed the slightly shaky stiffness that belied them. 'I should have knocked.' The door was open.
'No, it- there was nothing happening there, alright. We were just-' saying goodnight. He winced at how lame that sounded.
'I thought you and Cam had broken up', she said conversationally, still gathering her supplies.
'We had. I mean, we have. A long time ago.' He winced.
'Oh.' He could almost hear the it sure didn't look like it.
'Look, Bones...'
It should have been a red signal, right at the start, how much he hated having conversations like this with her- even in jest. He remembered this one time, very soon after they'd met, when she'd come home from school, and she was in an obviously foul mood. Russ was on leave then too, and she'd snapped at both boys within five minutes of entering the house, in a most uncharacteristic way. They'd been slightly amused at first- it wasn't often Temperance Brennan threw a tantrum, after all, and they'd teased her affectionately to try and coax the reason from her- and then Russ had suggested it might be a boy, and Booth had stiffened as he felt his stomach drop at the possibility. Russ, it turned out, had been right- they were doing some secret santa thing in school, Booth hadn't really managed to pay much attention to that bit, and then Andy Fluger had taped a brainy smurf to her locker, instead of the smurfette that she'd wanted, and adoloscent boys were so annoying and were they satisfied already because she didn't want to talk about it anymore, thank you very much. Even when Russ had snickered and asked her - did you kiss the captain of the lacrosse team, Tempe?- Booth had been too busy fighting unpleasant thoughts and images and rising bile in his throat and waves of nausea to be the least bit amused; it wasn't until she'd answered - No - and his heart started beating again that he'd realised he'd been holding his breath.
Two weeks later, he'd gotten her a brainy smurf and a smurfette- it had taken a while and some string-pulling to track down those little figurines (the irony that he was spending the last day on home soil chasing down children's toys wasn't lost on him) and told her that she had her looks and her brains, and she was perfect and gorgeous and shouldn't let anyone tell her otherwise. He hadn't been able to resist addnig that teenage boys were in fact scum, and not to be trusted, and she shouldn't pay any of them the slightest bit of attention. At all. He also added that he- and Russ- loved her just the way she was, and anyone that mattered would too. She'd gotten a little teary-eyed and kissed him on the cheek and hugged him, and clung to him like she never wanted to let go, in a way that made him never want to let go either. It was the first time he had been deployed after they'd met. It was the first time he'd wanted to stay back. It wasn't the first time he'd wished he had never joined the army, but it was the first time had had seriously considered the possibility of leaving.
'Bones...' He leaned against the doorframe, hung his head, raised it back, looked heavenwards, drew a deep breath, rubbed a hand over his face, and started again.
'Yes?' She raised those blue eyes to look at him, and as always, he lost himself- and his words, this time.
'I- Nothing was going to happen. That was over a long time ago, and it's going to stay that way.' He pushed off the doorway and walked further into the room and closer to her. 'It doesn't matter.' He stated emphatically, willing her to believe him.
'OK.'
'OK?'
'OK.'
She was packing up the last of her things now, and he leaned down and picked up a book, flipped it idly, and then handed it to her- mostly to get her attention. He spent a lot of time trying to get her attention. 'I thought you were supposed to be at the planetarium tonight with the rest of the science team for that school project?'
'I was', she replied, taking the book and adding it to her bag with the rest of the items as she zipped it up. He took the bag from her and she handed it over without protest or thinking, picking up an armful of books that she'd stacked next to it on the table. She continued talking as they walked towards her room. 'But then the weather got bad today, and one of the team members is sick, so it was cancelled. We're going to do it next week instead.'
They had reached her room by now, and he stood in the doorway as she stepped through it and turned to him. She reached out and took her bag, and he handed it over reluctantly. He was suddenly overcome by the feeling of absolute dread that had become familiar over the years but always surprised him anyway that accompanied the moment that came before their unavoidable seperation. It was absolutely pathetic. 'Goodnight, Booth.' And then he was looking at the door. He hated it when she shut him out. He leaned his head against the cool wood, much as he had that first night, and sighed- only this time, now that they knew each other better and it couldn't be considered all that strange and all that, this time he was actually tempted to knock on the door with some lame excuse like a midnight snack or a movie just to spend as long as he could with her. He silently raised a fist to knock on the door, but silently placed his open hand on the wall beside it instead. Dammit.
'Seeley?'
Oh. Crap.
'Camille.'
'Don't call me Camille.'
He was too tired - with her, and himself, and unreadable Bones, and locked doors- to respond with the customary follow-up to her playful teasing, so he just walked past her and muttered a 'Don't call me Seeley' in annoyance under his breath.
He might have said something about going to bed, and she knew where the guestroom was, and goodnight- he might have been very rude- but as he walked into the living room and poured himself a drink to calm down, even after he downed the second one- or was it still the first?- he couldn't contain himself=i8f anymore, and he punched a fist against the hard stone wall, so hard that it almost cracked- something in his hand must have, anyway, but he didn't care. He leaned his head against the cool surface as shooting pains seared up his arm through the rest of his body.
Then he felt a small hand on his shoulder, and he stiffened and recoiled slightly because he knew, just by the touch, that it wasn't her. Why was it never her, when it was always her dammit.
Cam had been standing in the doorway the whole time, as it turned out, long enough to bear witness to his little tantrum as it unfolded.
She came forward and remarked over his now swollen, bruised hand, taking it in her own, but he snatched it out of her grasp and, as politely as he could, insisted that he was fine, and not to worry about it. She held firm, however, and got that determined look in her eye.
'Well, it's not broken.' She examined the injury diligently. 'But it is badly bruised, and it's swollen already so it's possible you might have sprained a finger.'
He grunted a response.
'I'm not going to ask any questions, Seeley, but this should be wrapped up before it gets worse than it needs to.'
He swallowed and looked away, uncomfortable with the knowing look she was giving him. If only to make sure she didn't make good on her threat to ask questions he didn't even have the answers to, he acquiesced.
He sat silently in the chair she'd pushed him into while she retrieved a first aid kit and bandaged his hand, trying not to squirm and hating being fussed over, as usual. To Cam's credit, she was quick and efficient and didn't say a word about what an impatient patient he made, but simply bade him goodnight and retired to her room after he'd thanked her. He knew he'd hurt her, too- and he couldn't redress the wound as easily. He stopped her at the door.
'Cam?'
'Yeah?'
'I'm sorry.'
She smiled sadly. 'I know.'
He nodded, and she left to her room. It wasn't until two years later that they reconnected, and he wisely waited for her to come to him. She'd met someone, she was happy, she'd moved on. He liked having her as a friend, without having to worry about hurting her feelings through any romantic entanglements, and he hoped she'd be able to meet Bones soon because he had a feeling that, starting problems aside, they'd get on quite well.
The next morning, he'd woken up to find a note from Cam saying she'd already left for the airport, and he reached for the house key on top he winced, realised his hand was sore, and recollected the previous day's (all too avoidable) injury. With a sigh, he idly picked up the little metal object and held it in his palm, then whipped around as Bones entered the room.
'Hi, Booth.'
His mouth went dry. He cleared his throat. 'Hi'. She sounded friendly enough.
'Ms. Saroyan still here?' It was an oddly formal thing Bones did, for a teenager- referring to people she didn't know by their last names and proper appellations.
'No. She's gone.' He felt slightly irritated and more gratified by the almost indiscernible coldness in her tone. He cleared his throat again. 'Left for the airport.' He held up the note.
Booth- left for the airport. Thanks for letting me stay here, and good luck with everything. – Cam.
He knew the good luck was more of a goodbye. He didn't know why, but he wanted to make sure Bones could see, too, that it was short and impersonal. She did, and it seemed to have the desired effect- a slight, but only very slight softening in her manner. He'd take what he could get. He asked about her school project, and they talked for a bit. It was nice. It was always nice. He always wanted more.
She was in the middle of saying something, when she stopped suddenly. 'Booth- your hand!'
'Yeah'. He winced, looking down. He'd forgotten about that again.
'What happened?'
'Um…' But she'd stepped closer and took his hand in both of hers and for some reason his thought process was completely derailed. 'I, uh', he swallowed, and she turned the hand over, gingerly examining it. She'd know if he lied- not just because she very often just knew, but because Bones was smart and no matter what explanation he gave her she'd be able to tell by looking at the injury whether it was true or not.
'You didn't bandage this yourself.'
'No, uh, Cam did it.'
Her eyes flew to his instantly, sharp and soul-searing. His breath caught. He wouldn't lie to her, anyway.
'I hit it against a wall', he mumbled softly. Probably just as well he was telling her, because he wouldn't want her to think –again, he didn't know why- it was something to do with Cam.
Her eyes widened. 'Did you get into a fight?' Like that.
'No. No, she wasn't even in the room, I thought she'd gone to bed ages ago. I just- I was feeling a little angry about something, and I got worked up, and… I just did it.' He shrugged.
He watched her watching his hand. He secretly loved it when Bones fussed over him.
She looked at him with disapproval and he felt properly chastised and remorseful.
'These need to be replaced. Sit down, I'll go get the first aid kit.'
'Bones-'
'Sit down, Booth.'
He did as he was told. She returned a minute later and instead of sitting beside him, as Cam had- as she leaned over, he wondered subconsciously if this is why he'd chosen the chair- she sat on the arm of the same chair, and then set about examining his wound. He smirked slightly. She had her squinty look on. It was so- he stopped himself from completing the thought and shook his head to clear it.
'It's bandaged well', and the almost begrudging admittance made almost him smile. He made sure not to show it, though.
'Yeah, well, I should hope so- Cam's training to be a doctor.' He became distracted by her soft, shiny hair- so close.
Reclining comfortably in the chair, he allowed himself to relax enjoy her ministrations as she removed and replaced the bandages, muttering something about wetting them in the shower- he enjoyed them very, very much. Too soon, she was done. She didn't move, though, and he sure as hell wasn't about to ask her to. She was angled so that her legs were sort of across his, almost as though she was in his lap. He wished she were. He loved having Bones close.
'Booth?' Those intense, guileless, beguiling baby blues looked up at him, framed by thick lashes.
'Yeah?'
'Please try not to punch any walls in the future.'
'OK, baby.' He chuckled. In unguarded moments, the endearment seemed to slip out naturally- it was happening with more frequency now.
'It's counterproductive and there are other ways to relieve tension, or deal with unresolved frustration.'
He wondered if she knew just how her suggestion sounded to him right now, and realised with clarity that she didn't- it was almost- almost – enough to make him feel slightly ashamed. His throat closed up as he felt himself leaning automatically closer to her, and she seemed just so comfortable with him, and so comforting, and he felt more tense than he ever had.
Come on, Bones, just lean in a little closer.
His heart was pounding so loudly he couldn't hear a thing, his mind was blank so he couldn't think, his eyes could see only her his hands- both of them- tingled, and begged to touch her, and his whole body ached to be closer to her. It was then that he realised what was happening- he hadn't realised it before because he hadn't wanted like this before, he hadn't known he could- but he did want her. She was fifteen, verging on sixteen, and he was over twenty, but in that moment it hadn't mattered- in that moment, he wanted to kiss her more than he wanted to breathe, and there was no use denying it. Horrified, he instantly backed away completely against the chair as far as he could, a deep, shuddered sound escaping him.
'Booth? What's wrong?' she frowned concernedly, but he couldn't focus on anything other than the desire he'd felt a moment ago, and the more conscious desire he now felt to remove himself from the room, the house, her presence, because he had to. 'Does your hand hurt?'
No, but his head was pounding so hard he barely heard her. He swallowed, registering her words and that he should answer them.
'No. No. Uh, I- I just remembered something. I have to go.' He dazedly lifted her off from the chair so he could get up, because although he didn't want to touch her more than necessary at that moment, she didn't seem to have any intention of moving. His fingers burned from the contact and he flexed his hands reflexively as he walked away. This time he didn't even feel the injury. He arranged to spend two months in Vegas after that, before being deployed- he didn't gamble a cent for the first time since he'd enlisted. He talked to Bones occasionally, because she called him, because he couldn't resist, and mostly because he knew he'd hurt her with his abrupt departure and didn't want the distance to seem enforced- though it was. He avoided Brennan- Russ Brennan as much as possible, until they were assigned on the same team in Guatemala and he didn't have that choice anymore. Temperance had called to say goodbye and wish them luck before they left, and he wanted to see her so much and wished he hadn't foolishly wasted a moment of the last two months without her so badly that he almost sobbed. It was, he convinced himself, just a platonic, if not sibling-like (the word made him cringe too much to use it) attachment that was intense, that was all. Infinitely powerful was more appropriate. Then she'd told Russ she loved him and very sweetly said she loved him, too- and his heart had stopped, and he hadn't been able to say it back, because it was true, in every sense of the word. She'd said it before, but he'd never felt… realising he wasn't going to see for six months and suddenly afraid for the first time in his life that he might be killed, and he couldn't live with this regret, he said it back. 'I love you, Bones.' His voice had been huskier, and deeper, and almost a rasp- it was different, and he wondered if she knew it too. Russ didn't seem to, Thank God. He'd forgotten he was there. Russ had noticed that his friend had been uncharacteristically serious and reserved before they'd set out, but he assumed it was just the stress of embarking on the mission- everyone got that way sometimes- Booth never had before, but he was only human. It was only after they'd wrapped things up, four months later, that Russ had realised it wasn't a temporary thing, and he'd called him out on it. For a moment, Booth looked to him in surprise and said nothing. He almost- almost considered telling him, because then Russ would forbid from seeing Bones, as well he should, because she was bloody fifteen- but just thinking of the prospect of not seeing her again for four months had been incomprehensible and beyond unbearable, and he'd just shut his mouth and mumbled some excuse. Besides, by the time he saw Bones again, not only were his usual spirits restored and the strange person who had seemingly possessed him gone, but everything was back to normal, the way it used to be- he was fully convinced that it had been a temporary moment of insanity that had driven him away all that time ago, and he'd mastered control of feelings which- he looked down at his hands that could still feel the loss of touching her- feelings which had quite obviously never gone away. Everything was not back to normal. Things had changed undeniably and irreversibly. Booth sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, hurriedly making his way down the stairs to lunch after Bones so as not to keep Linda waiting any longer. Best to think on these things later.
END OF FLASHBACK
Back in present time, Pops' house, 7PM:
They settled on watching a movie later that night. Betrayal. The lead looked oddly like Bones' dad, and Booth mentioned that to her. Brennan snorted and suggested that maybe he'd modeled himself after the actor when he'd undergone the knife ('gone under the knife, Bones- it's gone under') for his plastic surgery. It was just the two of them on the couch, since Jared was out and the rest of the household was asleep. Though she wouldn't tear her attention from the screen long enough to let him kiss her properly, he enjoyed their closeness as he held her against him, and stroked her hair, and brushed his lips against her head occasionally- it was like every other movienight, really, a few kisses here and there. Booth enjoyed it. It was a pretty straightforward plotline- the girl went undercover, fell in love with the guy, discovered he was a racist bastard, continued to love him, and shot the guy in the chest anyway. But by the end, Bones was sobbing. It was a thing he knew well about Bones- she didn't cry a lot during movies, or plays- or ever- but some things affected her more than they did other people. She wasn't cold or insensitive or impervious- she was warm, and vulnerable, and feeling and… he wrapped her up in his arms, not sure of what to do as she continued shaking uncontrollably, kissing the top of her head, and inhaling a breath of her hair. So warm. He held her tighter. The only problem was, he didn't know what the… thing was this time. Sure, the end was sad, but this wasn't a few tears accompanied by a little sniffle, this was a breakdown with fullblown waterworks. He hadn't seen her cry like this since her dad had come home. He wracked his brain, trying to figure out what it could be- the fact that he mentioned the actor looked like Max? Nah, she'd laughed about that, she- she was saying something, the words muffled into his shoulder. His ears instantly pricked up. Then he tried to put her at arm's length to get a look at her.
But there were tears streaming down her face, and she was struggling against him, and he'd hardly ever seen her so upset before, and it scared him.
'Hey. Hey. It's OK. Shh. Listen to me, alright?' He held her hands firmly but gently in his own larger ones, and her struggling lessened. 'Hey, it's OK. It's OK, Bones. C'mere, baby. It's OK. Sh. Sh.' She came willingly- flung herself into his arms, actually- and he obligingly held her close, feeling his heart rate calm with her. 'Sh...' He kept repeating the word as he lay them down more comfortably- him on his back and her on top of him so she didn't get crushed, and his voice -and the hands in her hair- stroked over her until she fell silent and peaceful again. Sh… baby, sh. It's OK. It's alright. Sh. I'm right here.'
She mumbled again.
'What?' He asked softly, hoping she'd repeat herself without losing the momentary peace and breaking down into sobs any more because he couldn't take it. It was hurting his heart.
'She shot him'.
He didn't know what to say to that, so he stroked her hair encouragingly and went with a soft 'yeah.'
'She loved him. She loved him and still she shot him.'
'Yes.'
She mumbled something else.
'What?'
'What if one of us tried to shoot somebody else?'
'What?'
'What if-'
'I heard you, Bones, but why are asking me this? What are you talking about?'
'Hypothetically, if one of us was going to shoot an innocent person-'
'God Bones, just- just stop right there alright. That's not going to happen.'
This conversation was getting weirder and weirder by the moment.
'But we have such different views on what's important and what constitutes a punishable act of crime, Booth-'
What? That word seemed to be running through his brain a lot.
'Jesus, what – do you think that'll happen to us?'
'N- not that.'
Now he thought about it he was a little insulted, frankly, because he'd never do anything remotely similar to committing racist hate crimes, and he said as much.
'It- it's not that either.'
'Then what is it, baby?' He was beginning to get desperate now. She was sounding- and acting- a little unhinged. She mumbled something else, softer this time. He leaned forward to listen better where her head was buried against his chest.
'What?'
'I- I said, promise if I ever try to shoot someone you'll shoot me first.'
'What?'
'I said-'
'No, I heard you that time, Bones. But what- why would you even ask me something like that?'
'Promise me.'
'What? No!'
'Why not?'
'Just- no, Bones. No.'
'Promise me.'
'I'm not promising anything like that, OK, I'm never gonna promise that, I can promise you that.'
'But if I was-'
'No.'
'Why?' She had her challenging Temperance Brennan squint mode voice on. He wasn't going to give in this time. And his patience was wearing thin.
'Just. Because, OK, Bones.' He took a deep breath. 'Look, this is a ridiculous conversation, and-'
But she was determined to have it. 'If I tried to kill someone-'
Eventually he conceded, he might shoot her, in the leg or something, only to save her from herself, because she wouldn't be able to live with taking an innocent life, and he knew it. More than that, he couldn't do, and even that, he wasn't sure. Ofcourse, she wasn't done.
'But Booth-?'
He rubbed his temples. Why did he have to fall in love with a genius, again? Who knew how their brains worked. She opened her mouth again. Good God.
'But why-?'
'Because I don't think I could shoot you!' He looked at her now, fully confused and frustrated. 'How could you even ask me that?!'
'But they're so different!' Silence followed for a moment after that, and Booth's brain struggled to catch up with her reasoning. Until finally, he sort of got it.
'You're worried… that we're too different.'
She didn't say anything.
'Bones…' he sighed, lifting her chin so she would look in his eyes instead of leaving her face buried in his chest. 'Baby, look at me. Yes, OK, I'm not going to lie to you, we're very different- in so many ways. You're rely on your brain, I go with my gut. I'm instinctual, you're empirical. I'm a man, you're a woman. You're a genius. I'm not.' *
'Booth-'
'No. Let me finish. In the ways that count, in the ways that count, Bones, we're not in any way opposites.'
She blinked as he looked up at her.
'We're not?'
He brushed a soft lock of her hair from her eyes, and sighed. 'No', he affirmed. 'We're not.'
He kissed her softly, and was momentarily derailed. 'God. You feel that, Bones? That's magic. That's why we'll never fall apart, OK?' He chuckled wryly. 'That's why I'll never have to shoot you.' He paused for a moment, collecting himself and steeling against the temptation to kiss her again before he couldn't any more, and before his point was made. 'We believe in the same things, Bones. We agree, when it comes to the important stuff. Truth. Right and wrong. It's why I know you'd never kill someone that I wouldn't either, in a heartbeat, if it came to that.'
A soft, sweet voice punctuated his speech. 'Yeah?'
'Yeah. If we were making any important decisions together, … You'd never do anything that I knew I couldn't back up, 100%, in a way that counts. I know that, Bones. Just like I know that I- just like I know you.' He'd been about to say something else. He'd been about to say that something else quite a few times in the last few days. He was slipping. Drowning in those ice blue pools. She continued tracing patterns aimlessly on his chest and his breath hitched, eyes darkening as they stared into hers.
She gave him a wry side-smile that was so very Bones, and tossed her hair back as it fell into her face.
'Booth?'
'Yeah?'
'Will you stay with me? Tonight? I just…' Her self-confidence faltered, only for a moment.
'Hey, I'm not going anywhere tonight, OK.' Or any other night. He gathered her closer. 'Come here.'
They lay silently for a while, just holding each other and being close.
'Do you want to stay here on the couch, or should we go upstairs…?'
'Couch', she mumbled, fisting his t-shirt.
'OK, let me just pull it out-'
He made to move, but she held fast to the fabric of his shirt, burying her face in his chest and tugging him closer, refusing to release him.
'No. Stay.'
'OK'. What else could he have said? His heart stopped for a moment there. He loved it when Bones clung to him like that, in an almost unhealthy self-indulgent sort of way.
She sighed and settled back into his chest as his arms went around her. He kissed the top of her head.
'Are you going to betray me?'
'No.' That was one promise he intended to keep.
'Nonetheless, I shall be vigilant.'
'"Nonetheless"? Booth chuckled, stroking her hair affectionately.
Brennan groaned suddenly, and touched her temples on either side of her head which was sore from all the crying. 'I'm not gonna have a headache tomorrow, am I?'
Booth smiled slightly. 'Well, we're gonna find out.' He kissed her hair again as she settled into him.
'But your back...' she mumbled sleepily. 'Maybe we should go upstairs and not- not stay on the couch.'
'One night on the couch isn't going to kill me, Bones.'
'Are you sure? We could just-'
'Hey, Hodgins and Zack, they do their experiments. We do ours. Goodnight, baby.'**
He brushed his lips tenderly over her forehead and silence descended again as she settled over him, her hair falling in a curtain over his chest. Then-
'Booth?'
'Yeah?'
'Hypothetically speaking-'
He groaned, but she ignored him and continued anyway.
'What if I did kill someone?'
'I'd bury the body first and ask questions later.'
'Really?'
'Yes. I might make you dig, though.'
She laughed that laugh he loved, softly.
'Now go to sleep, sweetheart.'
'Booth?
'Yeah?'
She yawned slightly. 'Nothing.'
He kissed the top of her head, and she was already drifting out of consciousness.
*Remember Gordon Gordon? Man who actually knew Booth and Brennan and helped them instead of ruining their lives? Yeah. When he said what he did about them not being unalike or dissimilar, and at the end of the episode Sweets seemed to see what he was talking about, I think that's what he meant to refer to- not which one of them was in love with the other and aware of it, which is still a mystery in some ways. I go with Brennan and always have though popular opinion stays with Booth. Still, like I said, it'll remain forever a mystery.
** What. An. Episode. That was, huh? OK that didn't really warrant a footnote, but it did.
A/N: Gordon Gordon is the kind of shrink we all wish we had, Sweets is the kind of shrink we get. He sticks around, and life's a bitch.
That being said, great last episode- as Sleeplessinatlanta put it, aside from the fact that B and B were married and kissing, it could have been placed anywhere between seasons 1-5- and that's always a good thing, remember. Note how less Sweets time makes everything better.
These are my notes after the last episode. These were my remarks after the one BEFORE, with the dead gymnast and the physicist (ha, sounds like the beginning of a bad joke):
THEY CAME THIS CLOSE to addressing the issue of his non-death- THIS CLOSE- and then they didn't. There was even the perfect opportunity for Booth to sock sweets (metaphorically, because lord knows he's too infatuated with the little twit to actually strike him) and… nothing. Oh wait, I forgot, that happened in an alternate past where Emily Deschanel didn't have a baby and David Boreanaz didn't not know how to handle it. You know, when storylines weren't pointless or uninteresting.
No. 1) Unless Dr. Physicist is going to be made a main member of the cast, those interactions were rather pointless.
No. 2) Sweets is rather pointless.
No. 3) David Boreanaz…uh…he makes everything else pointless dammit. And now I'm rather point-less, so I'll stop.
And stop I shall, but not before concluding this three part author's note with an amusing observation put forth by old boothaddict, who claims that three seconds of this video www. youtube watch ?v=DWR5uDpZoJ0 between 1:08- 1:11, will give you an idea of Bones post BB in a romantic relationship (the problem, she insists, and I agree, is that they're not really sleeping together, and they still want to, but they have to pretend that they don't, or think they do, because they're supposed to be. Or in other words, they no longer get to act as if they're not sleeping together and they want to which is the natural state of things, but they have to pretend they are sleeping together, and they don't know how to do it- DB, particularly. He hardly ever looks at her anymore, and it's because he doesn't know how to look at her without looking like he wants her, when he's now supposed to have her but really doesn't. Get it? I wish he realised it's OK for him to really want her still. I mean, they're fine in every room in the house, thank you very much. Yet with all the other women, with whom he has no chemistry- let's face it, DB could have chemistry with a log but ED makes him a whole different man- he's all sexual and predatory, and with her, it's as if he's afraid to even look at her.) So in these three seconds, it's Booth all through the last few seasons: look at Bones, lick lips- oh yeah, we're acting, look back helplessly- 'Mm' and look away again.
Please review. I'm in need of some happy right now. :( It'd be nice to know there are some people still reading this story. I know the last chapter was glitchy and some of you couldn't review it, but I hope you'll take the chance now. Loads of love and happy mid-leap-month, BA.
