A/N: Wow, so many reviews! You guys are so cool, and I'm so glad you're enjoying the story. Time for more LoVe and more confusion now, in this next chapter...
(For disclaimer, etc - see chapter 1)
Chapter 29
Things were so not supposed to be like this. I know I always wanted to know why I didn't feel like a fit in but this is beyond anything I ever imagined. If I just found out I was adopted I'd be shocked, but finding out I spent the Summer hanging out with the guy that might be my real father, I can't deal with that right now. I thought writing it down would help, it usually does. In the absence of my diary or my laptop, I just went for the nearest notepad and pen which I weirdly found in the cabinet in here, in the Echolls family bathroom! Hey, who am I to judge about what other people keep in their bathrooms, right now I'm more concerned about the skeletons my own family keep in their closets, in particular the ones about me and when I was born.
It makes me wonder what kind of person my mother really is. Lianne Mars was, and probably still is, a drunk. I'm not surprised she gave me up or that Jake and Celeste decided I'd be better off not knowing who she really was. I can kind of make my peace with that... maybe... but what about Sheriff Mars? Why didn't they bother to check who my real father was? A simple DNA test would've told them and then at least I could've been raised by the right father!
Half of me just wants to run away and punish everybody who has lied to me all this time - Jake, Celeste, Keith. The other half wants to stay, give them a chance to explain, maybe get to know the man who might be my Dad. God, that seems so weird, thinking about Sherriff Mars as my father. The whole world sees me as the younger daughter of Jake Kane, it's how I always saw myself, no matter how out of place I felt in the house that had always been my home.
Veronica Mars. It seems wrong to even write that, and there's a chance I'm not even that person. There's every chance I'm still my Dad's... that I'm still Jake's daughter. This is insane! I can't get this straight in my head. Mostly I just want all this to go away, it was easier not knowing the truth, but then without it I would always be wondering why I feel wrong, why I never felt like I truly fit in my own family.
It would make sense if the Sheriff were my real father. When I think about it calmly, I know it adds up to make more sense than the way I've lived all this time. I've never cared so much about money. I have such a passion for investigating and the work Keith is so good at. I never fit in at home, and Celeste almost seemed to go out of her way to make sure I didn't. Things are awkward between her and Jake, especially this past Summer when I ended up lying about where I spent my time. The way they looked at me and each other, any time I mentioned the Sheriff's station, something wasn't right.
The question then becomes do I want it to be true? Do I want to find out that my family isn't really mine? That I'm not Veronica Kane but Veronica Mars, not the daughter of the richest couple in Neptune, but of a respected Sheriff and his drunken wife that left so long ago?
All I know for sure right now is that I can't hide here forever. The Echolls' bathroom might be big and luxurious, but I can't decide to live in it, even if hiding away seems like a great plan right now. You can't close a door on your problems and hope they go away, and you can't run from them either. I learnt that from my parents, all of them in a way, whichever of them really are the ones who made me...
I'm not sure if Keith is still around. He probably left an hour ago or more, which I think is a good thing. I don't know how to face him right now, anymore than I know how to face home. I know Logan is out there. He's knocked on the door more than once and asked me to come out and talk to him...
Veronica looked up from her writing at the locked door opposite. It was a while ago that Logan had last come to check on her. She'd barely been listening, so caught up was she in her own thoughts and upset. He'd repeated words of love and comfort to her, promised he would be there when she came out and that she could stay as long as she wanted at his house. He only wanted to help her, and Veronica knew it. She only wished it was so simple as a hug or a promise.
Getting up from her place sat in the corner of the room, Veronica pulled the pages she had written from the notepad and stuffed them in her pocket. On her way to the door, she glanced in the mirror, wincing at the sight of her own tear-stained face and cropped hair, rubbing a hand haphazardly over her cheeks in some vain attempt to look reasonable.
Unbolting the door and easing it open, Veronica was a little surprised to find Logan sitting there, his back against the opposite wall as he played on a hand-held computer game. The moment he realised she was there, the game was abandoned and he was on his feet, asking her if she was okay. It was perhaps the dumbest question ever given the circumstances, but Veronica still smiled. She was only glad he was here and he cared. It was all she needed in that moment as she went into his waiting arms and the couple hugged each other.
"I'm sorry" she sighed against his chest, "I should've stayed and talked to him, running was stupid..."
"Hey" Logan interrupted her, putting his fingers under her chin and making her look at him, "You're allowed to be upset. It was shock. Hell, if I found out my Dad was some other guy I never suspected... well, honestly, I'd be thrilled" he said thoughtfully, with an odd look on his face that made Veronica laugh lightly.
"I know" she nodded once, "Right now I'm not the biggest fan of my Dad either, whichever person that is..." she frowned as she thought about it, "It's like from the moment I was born everybody started lying their asses off" she said with a shake of her head, "but at least it explains a few things"
Logan hated that he had nothing useful to say. He couldn't fix this or make anything feel better for Veronica, no matter how much he loved her. Some people had ideal parents, some people didn't. Though Jake, Celeste, and Keith all seemed like decent people from the outside it was clear they were not as clean cut as they made out, but then to the world at large Logan's own family seemed shiny and perfect. He knew better, he was the only one that really did.
"Er, Sheriff Mars said you can call him anytime if you wanna talk" he said then, thinking at least passing on that message was useful, "He also promised not to tell your parents... er, the Kanes, where you are" he amended, hoping he'd said the right thing as she held onto the arm he'd put around her shoulders and they walked towards the living room, "I think he was hoping you'd do it before he had to"
"Uh-huh" Veronica nodded, though it didn't look like she was really listening as they flopped down on the couch together and he kissed the top of her head.
"Tell me what to say, Veronica" he urged her, "I wish I could make it easier..."
"It's okay" she assured him, curling up against him, "The fact I have a place and a person to run to right now is enough" she told him, immediately regretting her words when she realised what they might imply, "Not that I'm using you..." she said quickly as her head shot up off his chest.
"I never thought you were" he assured her, holding her tight, "Honestly, even if I thought that I'd probably let you do it" he smiled, "I love you, Veronica" he reminded her, glad to see those words at least brought a smile to her lips.
"I love you too" she replied as they shared a brief kiss, "I just wish that was all I had to focus on right now, you and me" she smiled sadly.
Logan only wished he knew what to say to the girl he loved so much. She was right, it would be nice if they could just be happy teens in love, without a care in the world. Unfortunately, life scarcely if ever worked that way. What goes up must come down, his luck had been soaring when he moved to Neptune, made new friends, and convinced Veronica to date him. It was inevitable that eventually bad things would come to take away from the joy, and here they were. He didn't blame his girlfriend for bringing the mood down, how could he? Logan was only glad he could be here for her now that she needed him.
"How about I call up the Kane house, let them know you're okay?" he offered.
Veronica looked pained initially, but she knew deep down that eventually Jake and Celeste, as well as Lilly and Duncan, must be told where she was. Her siblings, if that's what they really were, they may not even know the truth yet, and she wasn't sure she would want to be the one to tell them.
In answer to Logan's question, she silently nodded, smiling gratefully as he kissed her forehead and left the room to make the call. Veronica only hoped her so-called parents would stay calm when they were told where she was and all. The last thing she wanted or needed was for them to come storming on over, reading the riot act. She needed some alone time, to think about where to go from here. Her whole world seemed to be askew since hearing the news that not only was her mother a fraud, but that her father may not be the man she always thought either.
It was too much to think about and yet Veronica could not make her mind focus on anything else as she put her hands to her face and wiped away one more stray tear. She hated that getting the answers she needed had only made her feel worse than before she had them. Still, there was a certain part of her that felt relief. In her heart she was happy. At least she knew the truth, or as much of it as anybody knew right now. She had the opportunity to figure out for herself where she went from here, instead of relying on so many other people to make her choices for her. At the end of the day, it had to be better to have all the facts and make an informed decision. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite as simple as just Veronica deciding what happened next. There were a whole bunch of other people to consider, including both her possible fathers, her suspected half-siblings, and supposed friends that may not be so nice when they found out about this particular scandal in the Kane family.
* * * * *
Logan was almost done with his phone call to Jake Kane when he spotted a familiar blond head beyond the glass doors that led outside. Whether Dick had tried the front door and got no response, he wasn't sure, but he suspected his friend just planned to barge in through what passed for the back door unannounced as he had done various times before. Of course, now was not the greatest time, but that never stopped the young Mr Casablancas before, and it wouldn't now either.
"Dude!" he exclaimed as he barged in through the door just as Logan hung up from his call, "Mac is being totally weird with me, man" he complained as he pushed past his friend and flopped down into an armchair.
"Come in, Dick. Make yourself at home" Logan dead-panned.
A moment ago he'd been quite pleased with himself, making the call to the Kane residence and actually convincing a rather upset Jake to let Veronica stay at the Echolls house for a while til things had calmed down. Now he felt awkward again at the realisation that he needed to get his friend out of the house without too much fuss and back to Veronica without letting her secret out just yet.
"So yesterday we're making out at the movie theatre, and today she'll barely take my calls" Dick rambled on, regardless of the fact that Logan looked disinterested, "It's like what the hell did I do, y'know? Does Ronnie ever go nuts on you like that?" he checked as Logan tossed the phone into an empty chair and looked thoughtful a moment.
"Can't say she does" he said, pulling Dick out his seat, "but y'know, Dick, women are an enigma, and the only way to get to the bottom of it is to keep on trying..." he suggested, showing him back towards the glass doors.
"Hey, what's up, Logan?" the blond frowned a moment before a devilish smile took over, "Do you have Ronnie here? Man, did you guys seal the deal last night?" he said like an excited kid on Christmas, just as Veronica came in through the door, "Who's been a dirty, dirty girl?" he asked her the moment she appeared, the grin falling from his face when he spotted her tear-stained cheeks and chopped off hair.
"Now's not the greatest time for a social visit, Dick" she said flatly, as Logan shot her an entirely apologetic look.
"What the hell happened to you?" the blond asked as he looked between his two friends, "Dude, she does not look good" he told Logan, who by now was getting a little mad at both the intrusion and unhelpful remarks.
"None of your damn business, Dick" he snapped, "So why don't you just go already?" he suggested, opening the door up and practically pushing him out.
"Geez, what crawled up everybody's butt and died lately!" Dick complained, still not looking overly eager to go despite being almost physically thrown out.
"You wanna know what the problem is, Dick?!" Veronica suddenly yelled, and Logan was entirely surprised as she lost it right there in the middle of the room, "My life is falling apart all around me and I don't know how to deal! I'm really sorry if that ruins the day for you!" she pretty much yelled.
Veronica was completely unaware of the door opening and closing behind her and a person appearing there, until a bag dropped to the floor, the thump it made sounding very loud and sudden in the now silent room.
"What on earth is going on here?" the red-head asked as she looked between the three people in the room.
With an entirely faked cheery smile on his face, Logan waved hello from across the room.
"Welcome home, Trina"
To Be Continued...
