29.

She hadn't really spoken to me since we left the precinct.

What was there to say? To argue?

As we rode up the elevator, standing behind two US Marshals, I caught myself squeezing her hand tighter than I meant to.

She let me.

She didn't look at me; she only let me hold her hand tight.

That feeling that I was going to be sick had never waivered and now standing there with her, though I felt safer, the look on her face didn't make me feel better.

John, the Marshal that had been sitting outside my office door, ushered us in while the other Marshal stayed outside in the hallway.

Olivia and I stepped inside a comfortably decorated apartment.

I knew the drill.

Fully stocked, everything you needed to be under lock and key.

It made my skin crawl.

"Ms. Cabot, Ms. Benson, this of course is all just a precaution," John said assuring us. "Your safety is of utmost importance. We have no reason to not believe that Mr. Connors is still in Ireland, but having you here, we can more easily protect you."

"So we stay here. What about our jobs? Not to mention I'm about 5 weeks from my due date." Olivia asked finally speaking up.

"You both are just taking a few days off. If we need more time you both will be on maternity leave. We will deal with your needs as they arise. For now, please just sit tight. We hope that Mr. Connors will be found quickly and you can go back to your lives."

Olivia shook her head to John before she walked away down the hall.

I looked at the John.

"She'll be fine." I assured him.

"Ms Cabot."

"Alex please."

"Alex, it could take hours, a few days, a week… hopefully this will just be a short inconvenience."

"Better to be inconvenienced than dead." I said sarcastically.

"You know we'll take care of you," John assured again.

I let out a deep breath.

"I know and I appreciate it."

"We'll be in touch."

I locked the door behind me and made my way back to the bedroom where Olivia was sitting on the bed.

"You're angry with me?"

I watched her shake her head.

"No… I'm not angry. I'm just scared." She said wiping away the tears from her cheeks. "I just can't believe this is happening."

" I'm so sorry that you have to be stuck in the middle of this. But if he knows who you are to me, if he knows about our son…"

Olivia looked up at me.

"Liv, we can't risk it. Being here is the best thing for us."

"But we don't know how long we'll be here, or when or if they'll find him. Alex I don't want to do this!"

I sat down beside her on the bed.

"Honey, I know and I don't want to either, but they can keep us safe here."

"Alex, what if I go it to labor? What if I need to go to the hospital? What about our son?

She was panicking.

I didn't blame her. I was too.

"It's ok, we'll be ok."

"You can't promise me that!"

"No I can't."

I couldn't.

"And how can you be so calm?"

I reached for her hand, running my thumbs across her fingers.

"I have to be or I'm trying to be. The truth is I'm scared. I'm really fucking scared. And you know what? I'm angry. Liam Connors is doing this to me again. He running free and I'm locked behind walls like I'm the prisoner and this time you have to go through this too."

"I hate this, but I would rather be here with you." She said, her voice now calm. "I mean I can't even imagine what it would be like for you to be taken away from me again. I couldn't do that again."

"But look what I've done…"

"What do you mean what you've done? Babe, you didn't do anything! You didn't let Connors escape!"

"I know, but it's because of me you're here. You're about to give birth to our son and you're here. I hate it and I feel responsible!"

"Alex, honey…" she said cupping her hand at my cheek, making me look to her. "We're here together that's what matters. All three of us together ok?"

I shook my head agreeing, my face sinking in to her hands.

Olivia lifted my face, giving me a quick kiss.

"We get through together."

I gave Olivia a shy smile as I tried to blink back the tears.

"I think I was fine with us just being boring."

"Alex Cabot when have we been boring?"

"I just, I guess I was getting used to the thought of moving in to our new apartment, decorating the baby's room, 2am feedings and worrying about what was for dinner, not about a raging lunatic escaping from prison that might come after us… this is just ridiculous."

"Alex… now that I've calmed down. I know that we will be fine and we will get back to "boring" little life soon." She teased.

"So now what?" I asked looking around the room.

"I guess calling for take-out is out of the question."

"Certain they would frown upon it."

"Ok, then come on, let's see what they left us for dinner." She said making her way off of the bed slowly but surely. "We'll make dinner, get in our pjs and find a movie. It will be an evening we always wish we could have."

"No paperwork or alarm clocks." I said following her in to the kitchen.

"Nope, just you and me babe."

"I hope we don't kill each other." I joked.

"A true test of our relationship! Let's just hope the find Connors sooner than later. With neither of us without any work to do, it could be disastrous."

I mimicked her grin.

"Alex"

"Yeah?"

"I meant what I said earlier. I would rather be here with you. And I am scared. We're both scared, but I really want you to know, I want you to understand that I would be devastated if I were without you."

My heart pounded in my throat.

Olivia reached for my hand placing it at her belly.

"See our baby boy thinks so too."

I let out the deep breath I was certain I had been holding since early this morning when I felt him kicking against the palm of my hand, and silently prayed this would all be over soon.