A/N: Man, time flies right by. I can't believe it's been 2 weeks already. Well, thank you as always for the lovely reviews. :)

Chapter 29

Sheldon stood in front of his whiteboard, staring at the equations in front of him. He had been standing, unmoving, for most of the morning. He had yet to make a mark on the board, but he could feel himself close to figuring something out. He loved that feeling; the one he only got right before a discovery. It was as if his subconscious mind already knew the answer and was urging his conscious mind forward.

He narrowed his eyes, his brain now working furiously, trying to picture the particles in his mind. As he did so, he looked down at the left corner of the board, where he had tried yesterday to draw a picture of his current puzzle. There were a myriad of green and red dots, each representing a different type of particle. He frowned at the picture when suddenly his mind emptied of the equations he had been about to figure out, and the dots on the page suddenly became rubies and emeralds, decorating the delicate, pale skin of Amy's neckline…

Sheldon jerked his head up and closed his eyes. He sighed loudly, that was the seventh time this week…and it was only Tuesday.

Sheldon walked around to his desk chair, unceremoniously falling into it while also jerking open the drawer which contained his Red Vines. He plucked out three, setting two on a napkin on his desk and taking a large bite out of the third.

As he chewed, he sighed again. He had been so close to answers! Why had his mind betrayed him at just that moment? He looked over at the board, but already knew that whatever discovery he had been about to make would not be achieved this morning.

He looked down at his desk, not really seeing it. The night in which Sheldon had inadvertently given Amy the contents of at least one third of a jewelry store had been nearly three weeks ago. And yet, ever since then, Sheldon had found himself thinking of Amy at inappropriate times. Like now, for example. He was supposed to be pondering the mysteries of the universe, not the jewelry on Amy's neck.

He had seen Amy several times in the interim, (not counting their nightly Skype chats) and each time had been a disaster.

Not that Amy was aware of these disasters. Nothing of note had happened which would cause Amy, or any other outside observer, to know that these encounters had been disastrous, but Sheldon had had to work very hard to keep it that way. It seemed that now any time Sheldon was in the physical presence of his girlfriend (and on occasion when they were chatting) he would find himself with the sudden desire to engage in some form of physical affection. It was completely baffling, and highly frustrating.

For example, one time, while Amy was regaling Sheldon with the tale of her bad day, he had found himself with the inexplicable urge to grab her hand. She had been waving it around as she complained about mice who kept biting her, and when she held it out to show him the several Bandaids on her fingers, he had had to squeeze his hand into a fist to resist the urge to grab hers. He had quickly said, "Yes, it looks awful," and then had quickly gotten up to go get a glass of water.

Another time, while on one of their dates, Amy was telling an amusing story during their dinner. When she had first started talking, Sheldon's eyes had been either on his own dinner, or on Amy's eyes, as was proper for dinner conversation. But during one such occasion when Sheldon glanced up at Amy's eyes, she put a bite in her mouth, leaving a little sauce on her lips which she then licked off. Sheldon had almost immediately noticed an increase in his heart rate and had found it very difficult to keep his eyes on Amy's eyes, rather than on her mouth. No matter how hard he had tried hard to pay attention to what Amy was saying, he had instead found himself mentally reliving their fifteen second kiss.

Sheldon took another large bite from his red vine, eyes narrowing. That kiss was the cause of all of this. Prior to Amy practically assaulting him, (Yes! Assaulting him!) he had never in his life had the urge to touch another human being. In fact, the only reason he allowed Amy to kiss him was because he was contractually bound…naturally…

Out of nowhere, the hazy memory of the time he had drunkenly kissed Amy popped into his head.

Sheldon started squirming in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable, but not sure of the cause.

Wait. Yes. He was sure. It was because of that kiss. No, not his drunken kiss (He had been drunk. Of course his actions at that time could not be taken seriously…). The kiss which had happened a few weeks prior was the cause.

He looked down at the Red Vines on his desk.

That kiss…on Amy's red lips…like Red Vines…

Sheldon gasped, grabbing the two Red Vines and throwing them into his garbage can. This had to stop! He absolutely refused to spend his valuable time daydreaming about necklines, hands, and lips! But how could he make it stop?

He was beginning to wonder if even he could.


Sheldon waited in his room for the phone to ring. It was time for his bi-weekly phone call with Missy. He wondered just how late she would be calling this time.

He glanced at his watch and sighed. Her call was now a full five minutes late.

He tapped his fingers on his leg, getting more irritated with each passing moment.

When the phone finally did ring, Sheldon grabbed it, confirmed that it was Missy, and then answered it.

"What is the point of having a set time to call when you fail to adhere to it every single time?"

"Well hello to you too," Missy said. "What's got your panties in a bunch?"

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I don't wear panties. Panties are for women."

"It's an expression, you nut."

"I resent being called a nut."

"You resent everything."

"I resent that you think I resent everything. Not the least of which is because it is a complete fallacy. There are plenty of things I don't resent. Like punctuality for example."

Sheldon heard Missy sighed. "For pete's sake Shelly, if you want to start the conversation on the nose, then why don't you call me instead of the other way around?"

Sheldon snorted. "This whole bi-weekly conversation was your idea to begin with, so why would I be the one to call you?"

"Actually, Mr. Know-It-All, my idea was to call each other every once in a while. You were the one who wanted consistency."

"That's because consistency is a good thing. It's orderly. That way, I can plan my day around our conversations…which is difficult to do when the person refuses to comply with the timing of said conversations."

"Good Lord. Fine. I'm sorry I called late. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Yes. Apology accepted…even if, based on your tone of voice, I'm not entirely convinced it was sincere."

"Oh it was sincere." She was using that sickly sweet voice again, which Sheldon knew meant she was most definitely not being sincere.

"Now do you want to spend all our time arguing, or do you want to actually have a conversation."

"I'm not the one arguing."

"Shelly!"

Sheldon rolled his eyes again. "Fine. How was your day?"

"My day was just fine, but let's hear about how things are going with you."

Sheldon frowned, confused. "Why are you interested in my day?"

"Oh, it doesn't have to be just today. I mean, we could talk about anything."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. Missy had that tone in her voice; the one he had come to associate with her gossiping about and/or making fun of him.

"I don't have anything to talk about."

Sheldon heard Missy "hmm" and then say, "Oh really? Then what's this I hear about you being weird around Amy?"

Sheldon frowned again. "I have not been weird around Amy…and where on earth did you get that from?"

"Why from Amy, of course." If Sheldon were to take a guess, he'd guess that Missy were smiling at the moment. He hated when she did that.

"Amy said I was being weird?"

"Oh well…you know how ya'll talk. She said you were being different or something."

Sheldon sighed. "And you took that to mean that I was being, quote, weird?"

Missy chuckled. "Of course, silly. What else would it mean?"

"That could mean anything. Why didn't you clarify?"

"Oh I did."

Sheldon blinked. "What?" What had Amy told Missy…he hated this new relationship Missy and Amy had. It was not beneficial to him in any way, whatsoever. "Well what did she say?"

"Oh now I can't tell you that. That'd be breaking my girl's confidence."

"Your girl?...Her confidence?" This was getting frustrating. Missy was making no sense. He hated when she did that. He was seriously thinking about reconsidering these bi-weekly telephone conversations.

"Well, duh. I can't exactly go blabbing everything Amy tells me about you, now can I? What kind of a friend would I be?"

Sheldon choked. "Just what does Amy tell you about me? What is going on? How am I being weird? I demand answers!"

Sheldon heard Missy chuckle and then tsk. "Now Shelly, what have I told you about making demands to me?"

Sheldon sighed. "You said not to make them."

"That's right." Missy sighed. "But since I love my brother so much and can't stand to hear him upset," Sheldon rolled his eyes. "She just mentioned that you seemed uncomfortable around her…I assume she meant, more than your usual amount of uncomfortableness."

Sheldon took in the information and began pondering it. "Uncomfortableness isn't a word. The correct term discomfort," he said absentmindedly.

Was it possible that he had not been as adept at hiding his struggles as he had thought? He frowned. Impossible. He excelled at everything…except driving. But he was simply too evolved to drive, so that didn't count.

Missy's voice interrupted his thoughts. "You seem awful quiet over there."

Sheldon looked around the room. "I have nothing to say."

"You mean to tell me that you have nothing to say to the fact that Amy thinks you've been uncomfortable?"

"That is correct."

"You're not even going to tell me it's not true?"

Drat. That obviously would have been the thing to do…except of course that he knew that it was a fallacy, and that Missy always knew when he lied.

On second thought, pleading the fifth, as it were, was definitely the way to go.

"Well, well, well," Missy said. "It seems something is going on with our little Shelly Bean. So tell me…no wait. I wanna guess."

Sheldon pressed his lips together in irritation.

"Let's see…I'm going to go with…you can't stop thinking about kissing Amy."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. How on earth did she guess?

"The fact that you haven't answered makes me think I'm right."

"I think we should change the subject, as this one is not one I wish to discuss. Perhaps we should go back to you. Have you managed to find a better job than a hostess at Fudruckers? I know that you value loyalty, but really, haven't you worked there long enough? Unless of course, you life's goal is to be a hostess, in which case, good job. Speaking of which, we haven't ever discussed your life's goals. If your life's goal really is to be a hostess, then perhaps we should have a conversation on why that is not an appropriate goal and how you could lead a more fulfilling life by going to college and getting a degree of some value, unlike the bachelor's degree in English you currently have."

"I believe we have a winner."

"Great. So what is your life's goal?"

"That's not what I was talking about."

Sheldon swallowed. "Fine, we can talk about something else. You can ask me how my job is going, for example."

Missy started laughing. "Oh my word, you are positively in a tizzy."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I am not in a tizzy. I just think your chosen topic of conversation isn't a good use of our allotted twenty minutes of banal chit chat."

"Oh, now that's where we disagree. I think this is the perfect conversation."

"Then we have reached an impasse. Perhaps we should just end the conversation now."

Missy chuckled again. "Alright fine. I'll let you go. I have to go get a pedicure anyway."

Sheldon frowned. "It's nearly seven in the evening. And that's not to mention the risk of contracting a fungus from those completely unsanitary tubs they stick your feet in. Really Missy, I must insist, for the safety of your own feet, that you not do such a reckless thing."

"Whatever you say, Shelly." Sheldon frowned, knowing that whenever Missy used that phrase, she was going to do the exact opposite of what he had said.

He sighed. "Well, don't say I didn't warn you when you contract a fungus and your toenails turn yellow."

"Alright, I'll remember that. Now Shelly, before we get off the phone, Mama wanted me to let you know that we're having a big birthday party for Meemaw this year."

Sheldon nodded. "That would make sense, since she is going to be turning 80 this year. I'll mail her a card."

Missy snorted. "No you dolt. She wanted me to tell you that you have to come. And she wants you to bring Amy with you."

Sheldon frowned. "I don't like parties…although since it's Meemaw, I can make an exception."

And actually, it had been a long time since he had seen Meemaw. It might be nice to visit her.

"But why am I supposed to bring Amy?"

"Meemaw wants to see her. She hasn't seen her since we were seven, and she's ever so excited that her Moonpie has a girlfriend." Sheldon wasn't good with sarcasm, but it seemed to him that the tone of voice Missy was using was dripping with it.

"Won't that be a little awkward for you?" Sheldon asked.

"Why would it be awkward for me?"

"Well, because I will have a girlfriend, but you won't have a boyfriend."

"Oh, I will have a boyfriend there."

"I'm confused. Do you plan to procure a boyfriend prior to the party?"

"No, silly, Raj is coming."

Sheldon choked for the second time that night. "I beg your pardon? Raj is not your boyfriend."

"I think I know whether or not I have a boyfriend."

"But you two don't even live in the same state?"

"Well, thank you for clearing that up, Mr. Obvious."

"But you haven't even talked to him since you left!"

"What gave you that idea? We've been talking or texting every day since I left."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes. "How come neither of you has said anything?"

"Because it's none of your business who I date."

"I reject that."

"You can reject all you want, but you've always thought you were Daddy when it came to me and my boyfriends."

"That's absurd."

"Oh really? Who was it who was 'forbidding' me from dating Raj?"

Sheldon paused. "That's different. I wasn't trying to emulate our father. I was merely expressing my discomfort at having my friend date my sister. It's a perfectly natural response, I might add."

"Well, natural or not, it's still none of your business."

Sheldon started to respond, but Missy interrupted him. "But that's neither here, nor there. Raj is coming, and so are you. And Amy if she wants to, which I hope she does, because Meemaw really does want to see her. You wouldn't want to disappoint Meemaw now would you?"

Drat. Missy knew he wouldn't do anything to disappoint Meemaw.

He sighed. "Fine. I'll ask her. But if I were her, I wouldn't want to go to some old woman's party…especially not in another state."

"Well, luckily for us, Amy isn't you."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "If that is all, then I must alert you to the fact that our time is up."

Missy spoke in her overly sweet voice again. "It's always fun catching up with you, Shelly."

"I'm afraid I can't say the same. Especially not today."

"That's nice. Well, I guess I should say bye then."

"Good-bye."

"Oh and Shelly?"

"Yes?"

"Just kiss Amy."

Sheldon narrowed his eyes and hit end.

A/N: Regarding the phrase "plead the fifth" (for those outside the US): The fifth amendment of the US Constitution protects a person from having to incriminate themselves. If they don't want to answer a question in court, they simply say "I plead the fifth". It's now a phrase used in every day conversation to mean that you don't want to answer a question (usually because it's true. ;)). Anyway, Thanks for reading! :)