Chapter 29
Jennifer's mother had a cute little townhouse in Wentworth Point and they sat out on her balcony in large cushioned cane armchairs the day after she arrived. And it didn't take too many cups of tea for the whole story to come spilling out. Her mother sat and listened patiently and supportively, and hid her shock and hurt well when Jennifer confessed the violence she had suffered at the hands of Matt and the terrible news of the baby she had lost.
"I just don't know what to do now," Jennifer sighed, wrapping her hands around her mug and squinting over at her mother opposite her in the afternoon sun. "What do you think?" she asked honestly.
Her mother answered bluntly, but her tone still contained enough concern to not offend Jennifer. "I think it sounds like you should've been with Nick all along."
Still, Jennifer was surprised at her answer. But it only took her a second to realise her mother was of course right. She always was. But part of Jennifer was still glad she was in Sydney, away from Nick, at least for a few days. She needed to breathe properly again.
The next day her mother kicked her out of the house and demanded she make use of herself and get her the milk and bread she needed from the nearby shops. So Jennifer plodded along, appreciating the warm sun on her back as she walked along the footpath to the milk bar. When she had bought what she'd been sent to buy she dawdled around the other shops nearby, popping into the local gift shop to browse the shelves.
They were full of things like china tea pots and gold rimmed tea cups, tall vases and cute cast iron chairs and jewellery racks. She tried to look past the area of the store that housed neat pile after neat pile of folded jumpsuits and tiny socks and shoes. The pain was still raw. She turned away.
She focussed on the cellophane wrapped cards on display in front of her instead, but even that was a painful sight, with every card seeming to be for a baby shower or a new arrival. She sighed and tightened her grip on her bag of groceries and turned towards the door to leave.
But a tiny verse caught her eye as she stepped away, and it made her look back over her shoulder at it. There at the top of the display, right on the very corner, was a simple white card with soft pink writing on the front. Its words were heart breakingly simple: Ten fingers, ten toes and one perfect little button nose.
She stepped back and pulled the card from its place on the display. She stared at it for a good minute before the store person interrupted her thoughts.
"Isn't it beautiful?" she marvelled. "So simple. You could use it for a shower, a new baby…anything baby related really." She nodded and smiled at Jennifer, so unaware of the swirl of emotions that churned through her insides at the rate of knots.
Jennifer nodded and flipped the card over to see the price. "I'll take it." She dug in her purse for a few coins.
"Great!" the girl chirped and bustled back behind the cash register to ring up the purchase for Jennifer. She slipped the card into a blue striped paper bag and handed it over to her happily. "Have a great day!" she called out as Jennifer left the store.
She held the bag lightly between her thumb and forefingers as she walked away from the shop. With every step she took back to her mother's house, her mind was being made up more and more.
That night in bed she played with the floral bedspread her mother had draped over the old double bed for her daughter. Everything was starting to become clearer and she soon fell asleep, knowing that the next day she would book her flight home.
Jennifer wondered what Nick would sound like when he answered his phone. Would he be pleased to hear from her? Surprised to hear from her? She had not spoken to him since she had left Melbourne, three days ago. It seemed like forever had passed.
"Jen." His voice was warm and thick, a voice so familiar and comforting to her.
"Hey Nick."
"How're you going?" he asked timidly.
"I'm okay," she reassured him, forcing a smile into her voice. "I'm coming home tomorrow afternoon…"
"Great," he replied eagerly, butting in.
"…would you be able to pick me up from the airport?"
He was quick to answer. "Of course."
She smiled into the phone. "Thanks Nick."
"God I've missed you Jen," he breathed suddenly from his end.
The smile remained on her face. "I've missed you," she whispered back. "See you tomorrow. I'll text you my flight details in the morning."
"All right," he replied, so easy going. "See you tomorrow."
They hung up, both now feeling like the worst was over at last.
Only thirty hours later Jennifer touched down back in Melbourne and itched to get off the aeroplane. She watched the crew near her seat like a hawk, watching their every move as they unbuckled themselves and disarmed the doors. The second the seatbelt sign went off she stood up and made her way into the aisle, being careful not to jostle anyone and get them off side in her haste. She watched the door be pulled open and instantly smelt Melbourne as the fresh air rushed into the cabin. It only made her want to get off the plane even more.
When she was finally on the aerobridge she powerwalked all the way along it to the terminal door and through a gush of air conditioning she stepped into the terminal and looked around at the sea of faces waiting to greet the flight from Sydney.
She looked left, then right, then left again and that was when she finally locked eyes with him. She ran through the crowd and they crashed together hard, their arms wrapping around each other, squeezing each other tightly. She put her hands to his face and smoothed them over his worry lines and into his hair as he stared at her, unable to tear his eyes away.
Their lips met for the first time in what felt like a long time.
Twenty minutes later as Nick threw her suitcase into the boot of his car and reached up to close the hatch, Jennifer dug in her brown leather handbag for the card. She handed it wordlessly over to him, knowing now, with so few people surrounding them, and the sun setting at their backs, was the right time to give it to him.
He frowned slightly, wondering what it was. But he took it from her and tore at the flap of the envelope and pulled out the card. He read the front so slowly, as if memorising every word, even though there weren't that many in the little verse, and then he took a deep breath in and opened it up. In her head she said the words she'd written as she watched him read them.
This is what I want with you.
He looked up at her, shocked and still holding the card before him. She could tell he was fighting the urge not to cry, and disbelief was written all over his tender, ravaged face. He couldn't believe she was ready so soon after tragedy. "Are you sure?" he whispered.
"I'm sure Nick."
He wrapped his arms around her even tighter than he had in the terminal and his embrace even lifted her off the ground a little. But she barely noticed. She just kept her arms locked around his neck and smiled.
Sometimes I wonder
How I'd ever make it through,
Through this world without having you
I just wouldn't have a clue
When I see you smile
I can face the world, oh oh,
you know I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light, oh oh,
I see it shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me
Song credits, in order of use:
Prologue – Trembling Hands, The Temper Trap
1 – There Goes My Life, Kenny Chesney
2 – Set Fire To The Rain, Adele
4 – Set Fire To The Rain, Adele
6 – Thriller, Michael Jackson
6 – Set Fire To The Rain, Adele
8 – Somebody That I Used To Know, Gotye
9 – Without You, Keith Urban
10 – Who You'd Be Today, Kenny Chesney
13 – Remind Me, Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood
13 – Remind Me, Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood
16 – Remind Me, Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood
18 – Remind Me, Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood
19 – Nobody Sees, Powderfinger
19 – Nobody Sees, Powderfinger
21 – I'm On Your Side, Paul Kelly
22 – I'm On Your Side, Paul Kelly
23 – How To Save A Life, The Fray
24 – Unfaithful, Rihanna
24 – Skyfall, Adele
26 – Didn't We Almost Have It All, Whitney Houston
27 – Skinny Love, Birdy
29 – When I See You Smile, Bad English
Thankyou to all those who read and reviewed this, from the bottom of my heart. It truly means everything to me that you told me what you thought of my writing. Brindy
