Author's Note: Finally! Chapter 29! Please do enjoy everyone. Song referenced in this chapter is Invincible by Crossfade. No Copyright Infringement intended. As always, Read/Enjoy/Review!
Chapter 29: Remember Me As A Song
" I cant be held responsible this is all so new to me, just when I think I'm invincible you come and happen to me."-Invincible, Crossfade
Six. That is precisely the number of Appletini's swimming through my system as I walk, well, stagger through the halls of the Venetian with Chase and Tate. Both of whom knocked back considerable amounts of alcohol, and both of whom seem to be doing just fine, despite that fact.
" Chase," I slur giggling when he leans me against the wall so he can search my clutch purse for my room key.
" Hmm?" Chase says letting out a small sound of triumph as he pulls the key from the small glittering bag.
" You're a doctor right?" I ask, and he laughs, a warm sound that rumbles from his broad chest.
" That he is. My big brother, the Doctor. Doctor Brother-Man," Tate says and I laugh hysterically sliding down the wall.
" Oh great, look what you did Tate, you made the beautiful girl fall," Chase murmurs and I laugh even harder, falling to my side, " Up we go."
" God your tall," I say looking down at the ground as Chase carries me into my suite.
" You are just now noticing that?" he asks and I giggle shaking my head, groaning a little when it makes my head swim even more than it all ready was.
" No. I noticed that before," I murmur feeling like I'm floating down as he gently sits me on the couch, " I noticed a lot of things before. I'm thirsty."
" I'll get you some water," he says and I relent laying my head back on the couch, feeling slightly queasy when the ceiling spins a lazy circle over head.
" I'm going to, I think I'm going to sleep this off, in the bathroom," Tate announces and like a scared rabbit he darts out of the room and I hear the door to the bathroom shut and the water snap on, a sad cover to what I'm sure is one heck of a vomiting session.
" Will he be okay?" I ask Chase, gratefully accepting the water bottle he holds out to me.
" He'll be fine. He'll puke it up and be ready for round two after a small catnap," he says sitting next to me, " So you were starting to ask me something earlier."
" I was?" I ask, searching my very blurry memory, " Oh I was. So you're a doctor."
" That's been established. Dr. Brother-Man, that's me," he says chuckling and I smile.
" So can I ask you a medical question?" I ask, and he grows serious for just a second.
" Of course," he says and I sit up crossing my legs, smoothing my dress out.
" Can someone die from a broken heart?" I ask and the light in his eyes slowly fades and I sigh shrugging my shoulders. " I know, I'm a total downer."
" No, your not. I guess, I just don't understand. You seemed happy in Haiti, and when we got back," he says and I shrug my shoulders uncomfortably, sincerely wishing that I hadn't brought this up.
" I was. But it was a lie."
" What was?"
" All of it. Ty fucked a girl before he came to Haiti. We weren't together, exclusively or officially, but he used me, threw me under the bus to justify his sleeping with some groupie," I say quickly, better to let it all out at once, then to spend time obsessing over the details. Like a band aid that needs to just be ripped off.
" Wow. Wow. I, I'm sorry Brae," he says running a hand over his hair, and I lift my shoulders letting them drop, " What an ass. Now I don't feel so bad about hitting him."
I laugh at that turning my face away to hide the sudden and terrifying surge of tears that burn my eyes.
" Do you want to talk about it?"
" What is there to say? I fell in love with the wrong guy. I opened myself up in every way possible and it blew up in my face," I say knuckling away a tear, " I changed so much about myself to be with him, and it didn't matter, because in the end I'm left trying to pick up the pieces."
" Want me to beat him up for you?" he asks and I laugh, shaking my head slowly.
" No, though I might keep your offer in reserve, just in case," I say taking a shaky sip from my water, " Now I'm just trying to get myself back on track, a new track."
" What track would that be?"
" I'm actually going back to school, come the new year."
" Really? For what?"
" I'm hoping to get into the Nursing Program at S.D.S.U."
" Are you serious?" he asks and I nod my head slowly, tripping the paper off the water bottle.
" Yes. Do you uhm, do you ever think about that day in Haiti? When the girl, Johanne and her baby died? Because I do. I'm haunted by it, I guess you could say. I've dreamt about them, about the life they should have had, the lives cut short. I just, I guess I want to do something that's going to make a real difference. Don't get me wrong, PCI will always, always hold a special place in my heart, as will my photography, but I want something, more."
" That's amazing Brae," he says and I giggle shaking my head.
" Well, it will be amazing, and nothing short of a miracle if I make it into the program, and pass it."
" You'll do great Brae, I know you will."
" Well, enough about the work in progress that is me, what's new with you Chase?" I ask and he smiles running his hand over his hair.
" Nothing to exciting. I'm actually taking a year off from practicing abroad. I'm taking a temporary position at Scripps Mercy Hospital."
His announcement catches me off guard. Scripps Mercy Hospital is no more than twelve minutes from my house, and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel at the idea of him being so close, and before I can say anything to him about it Evangeline, Mark, and Carson sweep into the room, all three smiling from ear to ear.
" Anyone up for, shots?" Evangeline asks excitedly holding up a bottle and with a shrug of my shoulders I smile.
" Sure, why the hell not?"
XXX
" Oh. Oh. Oh I think he's down for the count," Evangeline giggles madly and we all watch as Carson's eyes nearly bug out of his head, and silently he slides to the floor, " And he's out!"
" I still," I slur trying to blink my eyes clear, " I still don't understand how come you get to be score keeper and you aren't doing this whole shot contest with us. Doesn't seem fair."
" It was my idea for one. And for two I don't want to drink myself stupid, nor do I need too," she says and I roll my eyes.
" Why do you keep saying that? I don't need to drink myself stupid. Is it because you think I will never be the same again, because of Tyson?"
" Ahh! You said his name, again! Another double for my best friend in the whole world!" Evangeline says loudly and with a steady hand pours a very healthy shot, sliding it over to me.
" Shit," I mutter staring at the liquid in front of me.
" I'll do it for you, if you want," Chase says and I look over at him, knowing he could easily do this shot for me and not be nearly on the same level of drunkenness as me, but I shake my head.
" No. Because then that would be cheating, and I'd lose. And I don't want to lose," I say defiantly as I pick up the shot glass. With a deep breath I take it, barely noticing the bite of it anymore and with a small struggle I manage to swallow it, " It's official. The room is spinney."
" Number eight for pretty girl Braelyn," Mark calls loudly and I laugh, because he looks ridiculous. Yet endearing. Endearingly ridiculous with his shirt unbuttoned and his tie wrapped around his head.
" Can I just say something?" Carson asks from his spot on the floor and I giggle looking down to see him, half his body laying under the table.
" What is it Carson?" Chase asks looking down with me.
" When are you going to tell the girl how you feel? All you've done is talk about her, and now, here she is and you haven't made a move. Makes no sense!"
I snap my head up, letting out a small yelp when I smack my head against the table.
" Ouch, hey, what'd you do that for?" Carson says laughing as he rubs his shoulder where Chase hit him to shut him up.
" You all right?" Chase asks looking at me as I rub the sore spot on my head.
" Yeah, room's all spinney," I say giggling a little.
" Honey, you said the room was spinney before you hit your head," Evy points out making me giggle more.
" I did didn't I? Well, I guess I'm okay then. Hey Evy, remember when we got into that prank war?"
" Yes, I do. Where the hell did that come from?" she asks and I shrug my shoulders.
" I was just remembering when you put the baby powder in Jared's blow dryer," I say and I feel it. The bubbling laughter that I cant contain and before I know it Evy and I are laughing so hard we can barely breathe, so hard tears are falling down our cheeks, " And I got Ty. I got him so good with the toilet trick."
" She said his name! Another double," Carson calls from under the table, and just like that my laughter trails off.
" I, I think I'm done playing this game," I say looking around at everyone, faces swimming in front of me, " I lose, because I keep saying his name. I lose because I cant get him out of my head. I lose, I lose because he lied when he said he loved me, and I'm left trying to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart. I'm just, I lose."
I pick up an unopened bottle of liquor, not even sure what it is, not really caring and along with it I grab my cell phone and the pack of cigarettes Evy and I decided to split and shut myself away on the balcony.
Tyson's POV
I drop my keys onto the counter, looking around.
I don't know what to do.
With myself.
With my life.
Without her.
How do you go on when you feel like your heart isn't there anymore? I let out a sigh, running a hand over my hair and before I can walk into the kitchen and drown myself and my sorrows in a bottle my cell phone rings, and I recognize the ring tone.
Only one person has this ring tone.
" Hey," I say sliding against the wall.
" Hi."
Chase's POV
I watch Braelyn as she gets up from table, her eyes swimming as she picks up an unopened bottle before she walks out onto the balcony shutting the door behind her.
" Should someone go sit with her?" I ask and Evangeline shakes her head sadly as she helps Carson to the couch where he immediately slumps over mirroring Tate's position.
" She wants to be alone," Evangeline murmurs throwing a blanket over my brothers.
" Its sad. To see her sad. It makes me, sad," Mark says his voice a little thick and I roll my eyes before looking at him.
" I think you've had a little too much to drink bro," I say helping him to the other couch.
" Well, yeah, I have, but doesn't it make you sad? To see her so sad?"
" More than you know," both Evangeline and I say at the same time and her eyes catch mine as she makes her way to the couch sitting next to Mark, cuddling into him, her head on his shoulder.
I look back to the balcony, and feel lost. Completely lost.
Braelyn's POV
I watch as the smoke from my cigarette curls into the night air, my heart aching as I lift the bottle and take another drink.
I lost.
What a realization to come to when I should be numb. Numb from the hurt. Numb from the memories. From all of it. Instead with alcohol swimming inside of me, and the cold breeze fluttering against my hair and skin I pick up my phone and dial.
" Hey," Tyson's voice rings through my head and I bite my lip trying to stop it from quivering.
" Hi."
" I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again."
" I don't even know why I'm calling you. Could be the alcohol," I say laying my head back against the glass door.
" How, how are you?" he asks his voice so small, so different, that it brings on a new wave of pain.
" I'm on a balcony at a hotel in Vegas, drunk, sad, and talking to the one person I thought I never wanted to talk to again, so how do you think I'm doing?" I ask laughing darkly as I take another drag from my cigarette.
" Brae," he breathes out, and I can just picture the way he's running his hands over his hair, cupping the back of his neck like he always does when he feels bad, or upset, " I don't know what I can say to you, if there is anything I could ever say to you to make it better."
" You know what would make it better?" I ask closing my eyes as the tears start rolling.
" What?"
" If I could forget. If I could just forget that I love you, forget everything that I thought we had, forget the time we spent together I would be okay, but that, that's impossible. And it sucks. And I'm pissed. I'm pissed because I can repaint my room because it reminds me of you but your still there. I can quit my job because that's the only reason our paths ever crossed but your still there. I can get rid of all your things and erase you from my life, but your still there. Your still inside of me, in my memories. It just, it isn't fair. Because I know you'll move on, and there will be a super model, or actress, or singer, or someone, who isn't me and you'll be okay. I just don't know if I ever will be."
" Brae, I cant take back what I did," he says his voice shaky, " If you could just give me the chance to make it up to you."
" You remind me of a song," I blurt out ignoring the fact that my heart stutters in my chest because of his words, that I'm teetering dangerously on the ledge and completely capable of falling back into him.
" A song?"
" More like a line in a song. ' Just when I think I'm invincible, you come and happen to me.' It would be so easy for me, to just be with you again, because I know that would be the quickest way to get rid of this pain, but I cant. I cant. I have to be okay again, without you. I'm sorry I called. I'm sorry," with tears still streaming down my face I hang up the phone before he can say anything.
XXX
I wipe my fingers over my cheeks, trying to stop the tears, to get myself back on some sort of level ground again, but it doesn't work, and I don't even try to hide the fact that I'm crying when the glass door slides open behind me.
A blanket comes around my shoulders, and along with it strong arms pulling me close and I turn my head, burying my face against Chase's chest, squeezing my eyes closed tight.
" I shouldn't have called him," I murmur, my breath hitching in my chest.
" Why?" Chase asks, his voice soothing as he runs his hand up and down my arm.
" Because. Now his voice is there again, even louder. I want to be okay again, I need to be okay again."
" You will be Brae. You'll be okay again. I promise."
