Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or any of its characters. I also do not own any of the materials referenced in this story either. This was made for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. So there you go.

A/N: Let me be honest with you all. I know I said that the emo arc would be only two chapters long, but then I had a thought. Originally, Emiri's melancholy (LOL) lasts about a week. The second chapter was going to show the gang having an intervention of sorts for her in order to snap her out of it. So technically the second chapter would be skipping over the week she was emo and jump straight to the intervention. I thought that sounded like a bad idea, so decided to write about the events that happened during that week. So, consider this chapter an intermission.

Plus, I know you all want to see Emiri scare the hell out of her peers.

Once again, thanks ObsidianWarrior!

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Intermission: Emo-ri Kimidori:

Out of all the challenges the SOS Brigade had thrown at them, nothing compared to the sheer absurdity of Emiri's personality change. Everywhere she went, Emiri left a trail of dumbfounded teachers and frightened teens. It was without a doubt, the oddest week in the history of high school.

Here's a few honorable mentions of how Emiri's new life style affected everyone...

***

Haruhi was in the clubroom by herself updating their site at lunch when Emiri came in.

"Good day, Emiri!" said Haruhi from her chair.

"What's so good about it?" moaned Emiri.

Haruhi watched as Emiri went towards the window and looked at the ground below. Many kids were walking about and talking with their friends.

"Watcha staring at, Emiri?" asked Haruhi.

"Oh, just observing the masses and their suffering," Emiri said calmly.

"Suffering?"

"Yes. Look at them all. They go about their business with the venomous essence of life coursing through their bodies. How I long to go down there and squeeze every last drop of poison out of them. What do you think?"

Haruhi didn't answer. She was ready bolting out the door.

***

Yuki walked into the library afterschool and found a secluded table spot to read. It was after she had read ten pages that she noticed Emiri was standing behind her.

"Hello, Kimidori," Yuki greeted, trying not to show the fact that she was a little unnerved that Emiri had snuck up on her.

"Salutations, Nagato," Emiri said flatly. She walked by Yuki's chair and faced a shelf full of books, hands held behind her back.

"Hey, Nagato..." Emiri said without turning.

Yuki didn't look up from her book. "What?"

"Could you tell me the definition of the word, 'murder'?"

Now Yuki stopped reading. She closed her book and folded her hands across her lap.

"Murder. The act of killing another living being with usually malignant intent. Looked upon as a serious crime in which the perpetrator should be subject to the harshest punishments."

"So killing another living creature would count as murder?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm............ Let me ask another question. If you ate an animal cracker, would that qualify as murder?"

"No. An animal cracker has the appearance of a living animal, but is not alive in a technical sense."

"So if it looks alive, but actually isn't, then it isn't murder?"

"Yes."

It was at this point that Emiri turned her head over her left shoulder and gave Yuki a smile that sent chills down the petite girl's spine.

"Say, Nagato..."

"Yes?"

"Are we truly alive?"

That's when Yuki got up, turned around, walked out of the library, and decided that future conversations with Emiri should be done when Ryoko was in the vicinity.

***

Emiri was sitting on a park bench, contemplating the existence of the universe, when Taniguchi and Kunikida saw her.

"Hello, Kimidori!" said Kunikida, waving at her.

"Yeah, what's up?" followed up Taniguchi.

Emiri didn't respond. She continued to sit as still as a statue. That's when Kunikida noticed that both of Emiri's eyes were closed.

"Is she asleep?" asked Taniguchi, feeling a bit creeped out.

"I don't think so..." replied Kunikida, who had began to examine the alien girl. It was when the wind blew some of her hair to the right that they saw the headphones on her ears.

"Oh. She's just listening to some music," said Kunikida, relieved that Emiri wasn't in a trance and trying to summon demons from the netherworld.

"I wonder what she's listening to?" wondered Taniguchi. And before Kunikida could stop him, Tahiguchi lifted the headphone off of Emiri's left ear.

Big mistake.

"PRICK YOUR FINGER, IT IS DONE, THE MOON HAS NOW ECLIPSED THE SUN!!! ANGEL HAS SPREAD IT'S WINGS, THE TIME HAS COME FOR BITTER THINGS!!!"

Taniguchi dropped the headphone and grabbed his ears. Kunikida copied his action. The song lyrics were almost loud enough to shatter the human eardrum, but Emiri sat there like she was listening to a lullaby. Then Emiri spoke.

"Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Manson............" she said in an almost orgasmic sigh. "Shower me with your dark ambitions and carnal desires..."

Taniguchi and Kunikida backed away slowly and soon broke out into a run.

***

Tsuruya was drinking some juice in the cafeteria when all of a sudden, Mikuru walked over to her seat and sat next to her. Judging by her puffy eyes and sniffling, it obvious that Mikuru had been crying.

"What's wrong?" asked Tsuruya wrapping a comforting arm around her friend.

"I-I-I-It was M-M-Miss K-K-Kimidori! She said some really m-mean things to me, T-T-Tsuruya!" Mikuru sobbed.

"What did she tells you?" asked Tsuruya, wondering what Emiri had done to traumatize her best pal.

The red-head swallowed a bit before saying, "S-She told me that everybody h-hates me and that people only act nice to me when they w-w-want something! She said I have an inferiority complex!"

Tsuruya's face went livid. "Stay here Mikuru! I'm gonna go talks to that gargoyle and give her a mega piece of my mind!"

She handed Mikuru a tissue and stomped away from her classroom. The smoked-cheese lover made her way into Emiri's classroom which was two rooms away. She soon spotted her quarry sitting in a shady corner of the room reading a book.

"HEY! Emiri!" shouted Tsuruya.

Emiri lifted her head to see two yellow eyes glaring at her green ones. "Mmmm?"

"Why did you makes Mikuru cry? Why did you say all that stuff to her, ya big, fat meanie?!"

"Because it's true."

A large vein in Tsurya's forehead became evident. She restrained the urge to latch onto Emiri's neck with her mouth and shake her like a ragdoll.

"What gives ya the right to say that to other people?!" growled Tsuruya.

"This book on psychology," said Emiri holding up the book she was reading. "It's really quite fascinating. I read through it and decided to diagnosis Mikuru. Obviously she didn't like hearing the truth."

"You didn't have to sound like a bully, ya know!" yelled Tsuruya.

Emiri cocked her head to the side and frowned. "I understand your rage Tsuruya. After all, you do suffer from disorganized schizophrenia."

Awkward silence.

"What...?

"Disorganized schizophrenia. You exhibit most of the signs. You burst into unexplained fits of chronic laughter, you have no goals in life, you are easily swayed by the opinions of others, and you hallucinate occasionally."

"I DON'T HALLUCINATE!!"

"What about the time you saw the flying blocks of smoked cheese?"

"THAT WAS A FUNNY DREAM I HAD!!!"

"Sounds like someone's in denial. Don't worry, Tsuruya. Others may shun you for your odd speech and mentally unstable behavior, but I shall remain at your side in this time of tragedy."

A few minutes later, Tsuruya walked back to her seat with Mikuru, wearing a blank look on her face.

"Well?" asked Mikuru. "Did you talk to Miss Kimidori?"

Tsuruya stared at Mikuru.

Then she buried her face in the nape of Mikuru's neck in loud, choking sobs.

***

Ryoko was heading past the SOS Brigade clubroom when she saw an interesting sight. Itsuki and Kyon were sitting at the table staring at a piece of paper. Kyon held it in his hands like he was examining counterfeit money.

"What are you two doing?" asked the curious knife-fetishist, entering the room.

"Trying to make sense of this poem Emiri left behind..." drawled Kyon.

"She read it earlier to us at lunch and left it behind. It was.... Confusing, to say the least," mused Itsuki.

"Mind if try?" offered Ryoko. The chosen boy looked at her for a moment before tossing the paper her way.

"Knock yourself out."

Ryoko snatched the paper and gave it a once over. It was considerably longer than Emiri's previous poem. It was entitled "My Aching Soul".

How creative... thought Ryoko dryly, still wondering how the hell someone like Emiri was ranked higher than her. She began to read it aloud.

"A wilted flower such as I,

Trapped in a dying garden I am.

No idea where I am going,

I follow where the black wind blows to.

Souls of the damned tell me to kill,

I release my inner anguish by cutting myself.

Why can't you see,

That I have risked my life for you?

Heaven is a nightclub and I want in,

But my body shall be consumed by the flames of hell.

I don't care about you.

Happiness is for douchebags.

I love hate, but I hate love.

My name is Emiri,

And green in Japanese is Kimidori."

Ryoko blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

"The fuck?"

"Yeah, we were confused as well," said Itsuki. "I'm not sure what she was going for."

Kyon sighed deeply. "It's sounds as though she wrote the whole thing down in two minutes... I felt like I was trapped in "My Chemical Romance" reject album!"

Ryoko read the paper over again and shuddered. It DID sound like a really bad Goth song. Only without the talent or rhythm.

Geez, Emiri... thought Ryoko, I know all poems don't have to rhyme, but you could have at least tried. None of it flows together at all. Every line ends in a completely different sound. 'I', 'am', 'going', 'to', 'kill'......

Ryoko's eyebrows suddenly rose until they were aligned with her forehead. Then she reread the poem. She gasped.

"Guys!" Ryoko shouted. "This isn't a poem!"

"Huh?" said Kyon.

Ryoko grabbed a pencil on the table, and drew a line on the paper the poem was written on. She stuck it towards the two boys.

"READ IT!!!"

Kyon and Itsuki saw that Ryoko had made her line through every last word of the sentences. Itsuki took it into his hands and brought it towards his face and Kyon's. Both saw that the lined words were in fact a message: I'm going to kill myself. See you in hell, you douchebags. Love, Emiri Kimidori.

"Crap!" cursed Kyon. "Where did she go?!"

"Let's check the Student Government room!" suggested Itsuki. The trio ran out the door and made their way to their destination. Kyon, Itsuki and Ryoko threw the door open and froze.

"SICK!!!"

"Good lord......"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, wearing a bored look, was Emiri. Upon noticing the door flying open, her dull, green eyes rose to observe the ruckus. She was leaning her head against a desk, with her right hand stroking her chin. Emiri looked completely fine......... if you ignored the four razor-sharp spears sticking out of her torso and the ever-growing puddle of blood she was sitting in.

"Do you need something?" inquired Emiri, talking in a voice that sounded like she was only asking about the weather.

"Miss Kimidori! Are you okay?!" shouted Kyon, unsure of whether or not to run over and yank out the protruding metal.

"I'm fine. I'm just performing an experiment," explained Emiri, tugging slightly at a spear embedded in her right breast.

"An experiment? What kind of theory are you testing then?" asked Ryoko, who looked a tad pale.

"To see if I could feel any kind of pain. It's a shame the Integrated Data Entity shut off my pain receptors. I can't feel a thing. ..........Hmmmmm. I wonder if that's a good thing or a bad thing?" Emiri pondered, the spears in her chest jiggling as she spoke.

"But why did you want us to stop you?" asked Itsuki. "If you were going to kill yourself, then why write a hidden message in your poem telling us where to find you?"

Emiri stopped probing at a spear lodged in her stomach and stared at the epser boy. "What message?"

"This!" yelled Itsuki, tossing the paper to her. Emiri caught it and stared at the addition Ryoko had made. She looked at the paper for at least a minute. Then something truly frightening happened.

Emiri started to laugh.

And laugh some more.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Emiri laughed in a jolly tone. "Well, what do you know! It DOES spell out a message! I had no idea! Hee hee!"

As Emiri continued to giggle, Itsuki and Ryoko looked at Kyon. Itsuki had a stupefied look on his face and his arms hung limply at his sides. Ryoko was moving her right hand near her head in a circle, index finger pointed out, obviously doing the famed 'cuckoo' pose. Kyon performed his trademark facepalm.

They had to do something.

Fast.

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A/N: Well, that was frightening. The final part will be here soon.

Coming up! An Aqua Teen Hunger Force parody! Can Kyon, Haruhi, and Imouto take on the Anti-SOS Brigade's robotic bunny?! .............Maybe.

Review Haruhi-worshippers! Your yellow ribbon-wearing goddess demands it!