Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm back, a little. Still own nothing though! A long author's note after the chapter. Enjoy! :)
Chapter 28.
"Oh Serena! Thank god you're finally here!" Blair exclaimed the minute Dan and Serena stepped off the elevator. The blonde barely had time to glance at Dan before her best friend was pulling her towards the kitchen where Nate and Chuck were standing, amused expressions on their faces.
"What's going on?"
"It is a disaster. A disaster, Serena. Not only is Dorota out spending the day with her family..." Blair stopped to give an eye roll before continuing. "..But Marcos' is closed for the day! They've never closed on mother's day before! Do you know what this means?"
"That we have no lemon drizzle cake and no Dorota this Mothers' Day?" Serena replied cheekily, earning a glare from Blair. "Oh, come on B! Weren't you the one who gave Dorota the day off so she could spend time with her family?"
"Yes." Blair pouted for a second before she was annoyed once again. "But.. I didn't expect her actually say yes. Usually, she declines the offer and this is actually the first time that Dorota's -"
"Blair." Serena cuts her off by placing both hands on the brunette's shoulders and giving her a look. "Relax. Take a deep breath. Come on." They all watch as Blair follows Serena's instructions. "Here's what we're gonna do, okay?" She waits for Blair to nod before continuing. "So we won't have lemon drizzle today, what do you think of blueberry cheesecake instead?" She asked, glancing at the others. "Dan knows a place."
"Yup, I - I do. They make the best blueberry cheesecake." Dan nods.
"I guess so." Blair pouts before shifting slightly to look at Dan. "You better make sure that cake is worth it, Humphrey!" Dan responded by raising both hands in mock surrender.
"I'll come with you." Nate offered.
"Okay, B." Blair turns back to Serena. "Then, while Dan and Nate are getting the cake, we are cleaning up and decorating the place while we wait for the caterer that I'm sure you called to arrive, okay? Chuck can help."
"Actually, Chuck and Henry are going out to pick something up." Chuck intervened, causing Serena to raise her eyebrows in amusement. "You girls decorate."
"You know it's weird that you refer yourself in third person." She giggles.
"Whatever." Chuck dismisses Serena off.
"Okay, looks like we have a plan, then." Blair clapped her hands together. "Let's get moving people." She exclaimed, starting to walk out of the kitchen.
"Oh!" Serena suddenly pulled Blair back. "One last thing, B. Absolutely no calling Dorota today, okay? It's Mothers' Day. I'm sure Vanya has something special planned for her." She gave Blair a smile when the brunette huffed at her before stalking out, pulling Chuck with her.
"So, you two get the cheesecake and I'll make sure Blair stays sane, okay?" Serena exclaims, walking next to Dan. She gave him a quick peck on the lips before ushering the two towards the elevator. "And don't be too long! We don't want Blair to go all crazy again, okay?"
...
Two and a half hours later, everyone was back from doing their respective errands. Chuck and Henry came back with two small boxes that Bliar tried taking a look at, although not much success because according to Chuck, it was meant to be given to her later. Nate and Dan - and Vanessa, who they bumped into on the way back and when Blair asked what Dan's best friends was doing there, Nate explained to be the one who asked her to come, much to Blair's annoyance - arrived a few minutes after them, having bought two desserts; the promised blueberry cheesecake and key lime pie.
Eleanor, Cyrus, Lily and William arrived about half an hour ago, mostly talking among themselves as their children work around the home, preparing the food, setting up the table, etc.
"Everyone!" Blair exclaimed, successfully getting everyone's attention. "The food will be ready in about fifteen minutes but in the meantime, help yourself with some champagne over by the table."
Dan was walking over to Serena after Blair finished talking, two champagne flutes in hand. He, however, stopped mid-way, pausing to look at the scene in front of him. There was Serena with Henry Bass on her lap, making the little boy laugh as they played with some of his toy cars. Serena looks up and meets Dan's eyes. She offered him a warm smile before turning her attention back to her favorite godson.
"You can tell she'd make a wonderful mother someday." Lily commented from Dan's side, as she too was looking at the pair situated on the couch.
"Yeah, I'm sure she'd be the best." Dan agreed before excusing himself and walking to where his girlfriend and Henry are. He sits down beside her and offers her the flute, which she doesn't accept because she's holding and playing with Henry and therefore, cannot hold the flute.
"Do you wanna have kids?" Dan asks, jokingly. He failed to notice how she freezes for a split second before turning to him.
"Dan, what are you talking about?"
"Kids. You know, little Dans or Serenas running around."
"Dan, don't be ridiculous. We don't even live together yet." Serena sighs, setting Henry down and telling him to go to Chuck and Blair on the other side of the room. "We just started dating again."
"Serena, hey." He tilts her chin up so he could look into her eyes. "I'm not saying we should have one, like as in right now. But I mean, maybe someday?"
"Dan."
"Okay, okay, I won't push." Dan lets the topic go, kissing her temple before wrapping an arm around her shoulder, tugging her close. "It's just a thought. You know? A little family of our own. Maybe our first child would be a girl."
"You -" She chokes a little. "You want your first child to be a girl?"
"Well, if I'm being honest, I don't just want my first child to be a girl." He smiles at her, unaware of the Serena's discomfort. "I want our first child to be a little girl."
Dan then engages in a conversation with Cyrus while keeping his arm around Serena. It's a wonder how even though they're that close together, Dan doesn't see the way Serena stills and became uncomfortable with his hold of her.
...
She wonders if she deserves this. What could she possibly have done that was so horrible and terrible that the universe decided that she doesn't deserve even a bit of happiness in her life. First, losing Dan, and now, this? The world really isn't fair.
"Serena."
She hears her name being called out, several times now. She doesn't move, doesn't even acknowledge that she heard her name. She was just staring at the distance, not really seeing anything.
She's back in New York. She wanted to see Dan, wanted him to know. She knows he should've known before. Waaaay long before this happened. But she was scared and from what she's heard, he's dating someone now and she really doesn't what to get in between him and his new girlfriend.
"He would've been here, you know?" She starts speaking when she felt a presence beside her. "He would've been great. He would've been so wonderful."
"Serena."
"This is all my fault."
"Serena, none of this is your fault. You have to believe me."
"Oh god!" She turns sideways and buries her head in the crook of his neck. "He's gonna hate me."
"Serena -"
"No, don't deny it." She shakes her head forcefully, pulling away to wipe the tears trailing down her face. "Dan's going to hate me."
"Serena, you should've told him before -"
"I know!" She sobs again. "I know. He's never gonna forgive me for this."
"He deserved to know Serena."
"I know." She closes her eyes, feeling incredibly guilty and heartbroken. "I know."
...
"Hey. Sorry we're late." Eric rushes over to his mother, giving her a kiss on her cheek before moving towards Serena, squeezing her shoulders.
"Eric, honey.." Eric takes a seat beside her sister before turning his attention to Lily. "What are those flowers for?"
"Oh!" Eric stretches out one of the bouquets he's holding towards his mother. "These are for you! Happy Mothers' Day Mom!"
"Well, thank you darling! They're wonderful!" But then she looks at the other bouquet suspiciously. "What about those ones?"
"These are for... Uhhh..."
"I asked Eric to buy them for me." Serena cuts off her brother, shooting him a small smile. "My apartment was getting a little lonely."
"You just bought fresh flowers yesterday." Nate pointed out.
"Well, I wanted sunflowers for today." Serena countered, looking at Nate pointedly, silently asking him to shut the hell up. Fortunately, he seemed to take the hint, raising both his hands in surrender.
"Well, she does love sunflowers." Chuck interjects, looking at Serena like maybe he knows more than he should. It makes Serena want to run away, out of this place, away from these people. She wants to take comfort in the arms of someone who will be too angry at her to comfort her if he knew the truth.
"Why don't you get me flowers for Mothers' Day?" Blair suddenly piped up, turning to Chuck before glancing at the sunflowers her best friend is holding. "Even Serena gets to have one."
"Blair, Serena bought those flowers herself. It's not like Dan gave her the flowers as a present for Mothers' Day." But the Chuck's looking at her intently, deeply, and oh god, he knows. She's pretty sure that he does.
"Sure, because it's not like Serena's already a mother." Nate jokes good naturedly but it stings, it hurts. It so fucking hurts. She knows Nate didn't mean anything of it and he's innocent, Nate doesn't know anything. But it still fucking hurts.
She tenses instantly, eyes welling up with tears she's trying so hard to keep at bay. She won't cry, she promised herself that she won't.
But then Dan places a hand on her shoulder.
She jerks away from him instantly, seeking Eric's eyes and when she saw her brother looking at her almost pitifully, she flinches, desperate to go and run. Away. Away from all this, away from all of them. Away from Dan. Because she's breaking down and they'll know. And when they knew, he'll know. And he'll hate her if he knew.
"Serena, darling, are you alright?" Lily asks, worried for her daughter.
"Yeah, mom. I - I - I'm fine." She swipes at her eyes, hating herself for being so weak, so fragile. "I'm fine." And she knows no one believes her because tears are still falling on her face.
"Serena."
It's Dan. His soothing, worrying voice that breaks her. She doesn't bother to stop crying, doesn't try to force a smile like she usually does. She cries.
"Serena, hey." Dan tried again, trying to get Serena to look at him, unsuccessfully.
"I'm sorry." She doesn't look him in the eye. Can't. "Dan, I'm so sorry." Then she pushes her chair back and stands up. "I can't do this. I'm so sorry B. I just - I have to go."
Then she all but runs out of the dining hall and walks as fast as she can to the elevator. And she's crying so hard that she doesn't hear Dan and Eric both stand up to chase after her because all that's going through her mind is one thought.
Dan will hate her.
...
She's been in New York for a while. Almost a month actually. Nobody knows except Eric and he comes by every single day for the last month, bringing her food because she'll end up spending the day on the bed of her hotel room if he doesn't show up.
But somehow, Eric managed to drag Serena out of her apartment to take a walk in Central Park. It's a bright sunny day out and when Eric showed up at her place, he all but pulls Serena out of bed and made sure Serena has absolutely no choice but to get out for once.
"Eric, what exactly are you trying to achieve here?" Serena stops mid-walk, pulling Eric to a stop as well. She closes her eyes for a second before narrowing them on her little brother. "All I see here is kids running around and playing with other kids or having picnic with their perfect little family."
"Okay, first of all, I did not take you here to look at kids. Second, I dragged you here because you've been all depressed at your apartment that you don't even bother cleaning at all so you can breathe fresh air and get back to the land of the living."
"Yes. And as you can see Eric all that did was make me more depressed. I want to go home." She turns around and starts walking again. "You can just order pizza or something from my place and I promise that I will clean up my mess just please let me go home." She's practically whining at this point but she doesn't care, not if it convinces Eric to go home.
"Serena, we both know you won't clean your place."
"You don't have to take care of me, you know?"
"Serena, I know it's been hard for you but -"
"Dan." She whispers softly but it makes Eric stop whatever it is he's about to say. He looks at the direction she's been looking at and sure enough, there he is, along with Jenny and Rufus. Jenny seems to be talking a mile a minute and both Dan and Rufus try to ignore her.
"Eric, let's go."
"Serena, you have to tell him." He grabs hold of her hand and tries to pull her towards where Dan, Jenny and Rufus are.
"What?"
"I called Jenny."
"What?"
"Serena, you have to tell him sometime."
"Not today, no." She snatches her hand back from Eric, shakes her head and starts walking away again. "I can't believe you."
"Serena. You know it's gonna get worse if you don't tell him sooner. Just tell him, Serena. He'll understand." He takes a quick look at the blonde to see her staring at him with disbelief. "Okay, he'll be mad that you didn't tell him sooner but he'll understand, he'll forgive you, Serena. Just tell him."
"I can't, okay? Not now, Eric. Just -" She sighs and looks back and she swears Dan was looking back at her. He's walking and it takes her a minute to realize that Dan was walking towards where they are. "Not now." Then she turns around and walked away quickly not even letting Eric catch up to her.
She turns, however, to look back at her brother once more before getting into a cab. He's talking animatedly at Jenny and Rufus now. And Dan. She's pretty sure Dan's staring at her, though she can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't quite believe it could be her.
"I'm sorry." She whispers through the air before getting in. "Please, don't hate me."
...
"Humphrey."
Dan looks up to find Chuck, Blair, and Nate step out of the elevator to join him and Eric at the lobby.
"What happened?" Nate asks, worried about her best friend. "Is Serena okay?"
"I don't - I don't know." He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated at the situation. "Nobody would tell me anything. Serena just left, crying and I've been asking her and Eric what's wrong and I just -" He sighs, defeated. "She's been on the edge these past few days and she won't even tell me why."
"She's just afraid."
"Afraid of what?" Dan knows he's close to yelling right now and he'll apologize for it later, right now all he wants to do is figure out what's happening to his girlfriend and to find where the hell Serena went.
"That you'll get angry and hate her." Eric supplies which in turn made Dan look at him, incredulously.
"What?! Why would I get - why would she even think that I would hate her?"
"Because she's been keeping something important from you." Chuck speaks up, heads whipping around to look at him.
"What?!" Everyone looks at him incredulously.
"You know?" Eric directs his question at Chuck who only nodded in response. No witty comebacks and no smirks coming from him.
"I do know." And then he had the nerve to smirk at all of them. "Of course, I know. I'm Chuck Bass."
"Okay, would somebody tell us what is going on?" Blair demands then looks at Chuck. "What do you know?"
"Okay." Chuck sighs. "You really want to know?"
"Chuck Bass. Would I ask if I didn't?" Blair rolls her eyes at her husband. "Now tell me what is going on."
"You know where Serena went?" Nate asks.
"Okay, either someone tell me what the hell is going on or I'm gonna go find Serena because I'm not wasting any more of my time here." Dan exclaims.
"Okay." Eric nods, a bit hesitantly. "But you have to promise me that whatever happens, please be there for her." Eric's pleading so yeah, this is pretty fucking serious.
...
"What are we doing here?" Blair practically whines as they follow Eric's lead.
It was starting to drizzle a little. Which is pretty fitting if you ask Eric because it seemed like the sky was always crying with Serena every year. He'd watch as Serena cries, mumbles countless apologies, and then she turns to him for comfort, for support. Something that he knows she wants - no, needs - from Dan.
"Just follow me, please." Eric doesn't even bother looking back at the four of them before turning to a corner, stopping just when he saw Serena, the sunflowers in hand, an umbrella on the other. She's looking down and it breaks his heart to see her like this. Every year, they stood side by side on that very spot and it doesn't lessen the pain he feels when he remembers or when Serena begins sobbing on his shoulders.
"There she is." He whispers, still staring at his sister.
"This is insane." Nate comments, shaking his head in disbelief. "What the hell are we doing here?"
"Nate." Chuck warns.
"We're at the cemetery, Chuck. The freaking cememtery." Nate whispers a bit loudly, glancing at Serena for a second before turnnig back to Chuck. "What? Is Serena visiting Cece this mother's day?"
"Yeah, and what's with the sunflowers?" Blair asks. "Cece hated sunflowers."
"She brings sunflowers because they're her favorite." Chuck answers, looking at Eric once and nods. "And she's not visiting her grandmother."
"Then who is she visiting?" Finally, Dan speaks looking at both Eric and Chuck. Both men suddenly gave him sad, almost pitiful looks. And he can't take it anymore. He wants to know what is wrong with Serena so he can find a way to help her, find a way to fix it, or just something. "Who?"
"It's about time you know." Eric nods to Chuck before looking at Serena once more.
Chuck looks at Serena's figure a few feet in front of them, refusing to meet Dan's eyes, as he answers his question.
"Her name's Danielle Elizabeth Humphrey."
And just like that, Dan questions everything he ever knew about the past two years.
.to be continued.
A/N: Heeeeeyyy, it's me! Yup, I'm still alive. Well, I think it's safe to say that I haven't been able to update in a really, really, really long time. I could blame my studies and all the other stuff that kept me busy for not updating but even though that's partly true, that's not the only reason.
Another thing is I've been obsessed with watching various TV series right now. Currently, I am watching 8 ongoing shows (most of them are on hiatus right now, but Pretty Little Liars is back, so heey to any PLL fans there!) and I am planning on watching 2 or 3 shows (Modern Family, One Tree Hill, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer - still haven't decided which one to start first). Soo, I've been sort of fangirling over other ships of the other shows I am watching (You can look at my profile to see which couples I ship. :D) So, yeah, I didn't really get to have too much time fangirling over Gossip Girl and Derena lately but don't worry, still a hardcore Derena fan!
Also, I gotta be honest... I'm just lazy and I don't know how to put this story into words. I've started this chapter a long time ago, just finished it as I'm writing this author's note. And I'm still not quite satisfied with how it turned out, so I'm sorry if I disappointed you guys with this chapter. I need a little more inspiration to write not only this story but other stories as well. (I've got a lot of ideas running in my mind but can't write down).
Lastly, just an update on my life, in relation to this story, I am currently on vacation from school but I have to finish a 200-hour internship during this break from school, which technically means that I have no homework to do when I get home and hopefully, that means I can write more. I've already started on the next chapter of Forever but I'm not sure when I'm gonna be able to finish it. Hopefully, *crosses fingers* soon.
So, once again, I'd like to thank those readers out there who still checks back to see if I have an update. Tada! Here's an update for you guys! Thank you thank you for sticking with me and for staying with this story. I love you guys so much!
Oh, and this chapter isn't edited whatsoever, so I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors and if something doesn't make sense, you can ask me thru the reviews and by messaging me.
Asking you guys to review this chapter is probably too much, given that I've been gone too long, but I still hope you do leave a review. I wanna hear your thoughts, suggestions, comments and reactions.
Thank you guys so much! I love all of you, guys!
