The violent outburst was the last straw.
The Yagami household awoke in the middle of the night by loud crashes from the kitchen. Soichiro ran out, his gun faithfully locked in his hand. He crept towards the kitchen, afraid to scare to perpetrator. There was another crash. In one swift motion, Soichiro stepped into the door frame and pointed his gun at his son. Light was hunched over his knees, crouched on the floor. His hands clasped against his ears and his eyes locked shut. Fragments of ceramic plates surrounded him.
Soichiro's presence immediately grasped Light's attention. His wild brown eyes traced his father from his toes to the top of his head. His lips turned a sickening white as he pursed them.
"Get up," Soichiro demanded, no longer able to stand the pathetic excuse pretending to be his son.
Light's knees wobbled as he stood up straight. His arms lolled at his sides. Those cold, brown eyes pierced through his father, threatening him to instruct him again. Soichiro wasn't impressed, though. In fact, his eyes had fell from Light down to his son's feet. The only thing he could think about was his poor wife having to clean up the mess. He turned to leave his son. Bare feet pattered toward him. Something sharp dug into his shoulder. He grunted and grabbed a hold of Light's ear. The boy cried out as Soichiro yanked him off his shoulder. The new wound stung.
"Light, what's wrong with you, son? You ain't the smart, charmin' kid I used to know."
The desperation in his voice didn't surprise him. He wanted Light to be innocent the moment he became a suspect, but after seeing the state of his son, there was no doubt in his mind. He couldn't figure out how to deal with his feelings. Light was his son, but a ruthless, insane killer. Soichiro only hoped it was all a nightmare.
Soichiro clutched his bleeding shoulder with one hand and the crazed Light with his other. Suddenly, the rage in Light's face was washed away by serenity. "Father," his voice was unpleasantly calm. "I ain't gonna listen to your condescendin' speeches no more. You ain't been through the shit I've been through. I'm constantly surrounded by death, drowin' in blood, but you just observe. How would ma feel if she found out her husband was a coward? What 'bout Sayu? Hell, I know and I'm embarrassed to no end."
Soichiro stopped himself from punching his son. A mocking smile spread across his disheveled face. Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. Instead of reciprocating, Soichiro grabbed Light's wrists and threw handcuffs around them.
Light didn't struggle, at least until Soichiro tried to bring him to his room. He suddenly began to howl. His eyes lit in a furious frenzy. He collapsed to his knees, growling and snapping if Soichiro tried to grab him again. He yanked at the handcuffs, attempting to pull his hands free. When he realized it was no use, he threw his head back and a sickening gurgle echoed from his throat. His animalistic behavior drove Soichiro to lock him up in the barn.
When Sachiko tried to protest, begging her husband to find their son help, Soichiro only replied, "We'll wait and see what Lawliet has to say."
For days, echos of Light's cries and hysteria could be heard across the ranch. Sayu would come into her parents bedroom at night, crying from the horrendous noises that kept her awake. Every night, she would curl between them and press her head against her mother's chest, wishing Light's suffering would end. She had only seen him a few times, but from the look in his eyes, she immediately observed he was in terrible pain. She never told her mother, though; she couldn't bring herself to utter the words.
The knock on the door Sunday evening was the relief the Yagami family had been waiting for. Soichiro opened the door. Watari stood stiffly in the door, his eyes grew solemn when he greeted Sheriff Yagami.
When Soichiro asked the man of a few words where L was, he simply replied, "he is resting in the wagon."
Soichiro, along with Watari and Sachiko, headed to the awaiting wagon. Sheriff Matsuda and Deputy Mogi were sitting in the back with Lawliet, who was sprawled out on the floor. The only part of his body with any color were his flushed cheeks. His chest heaved as he desperately gasped for every breath. Soichiro jumped into the wagon and pressed his hand on Lawliet's burning forehead. His eyes shifted from each face until they fell on Sachiko.
"Mrs. Yagami," he muttered. "It's nice to meet you."
Tears brimmed in her eyes as he smiled weakly at her. Soichiro had explained earlier that L was hiding his identity, but she couldn't help but compare his false naivety with Light's sudden delusions and memory loss.
"Help me up, Matsuda. Where is Light now?"
"L, I don't think you should be gettin' up. You can barely breathe," Soichiro said.
L ignored him and grasped Matsuda's shoulder. "Where is Light?" he repeated.
"In the barn," Sachiko answered. "Please, you gotta help him. I don't know what to do with my own son!"
Her plea silenced the others' protests. Soichiro scooped L onto his feet and helped him off the wagon. L leaned on him, limping as they headed towards the barn. Only Sachiko and Watari followed. The closer they got, the more L weighed Soichiro down. Outside of the barn, he suddenly fell limp in Soichiro's clutch.
"Lawliet?" he asked, bringing the boy slowly to the ground.
His head was pounding. He grabbed his hair, yanking, wishing the pain would cease. Pain and agony swirled around his head. He moaned softly as his body buckled from the pain. Suddenly, a cry for help came from within the barn. The begging became more frantic as Sachiko struggled to open the door.
"Stop!" L shouted, clutching his aching head. He choked and gasped for air, but his lungs refused to respond.
"He's turning purple!" Sachiko gasped. The shrieks from inside the building grew. Her fingers immediately fumbled at the lock again.
Someone was lying him down. He tried desperately to keep his eyes open, but his vision was clouding. His body was finally totally betraying him. Something pounded on his chest. It only made the lack of oxygen more prominent. Was this how he would die? He suddenly regretted everything. What would he die for? For justice? The boy he once loved sounded like he was in just as great pain as he was. His hysterical cries grew louder, smothering any other sounds. His torture was not justice; it was insanity.
'I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Light,' L thought.
The lock fell from the barn handle. The door cracked open. The screams enveloped L, dragging him into a dark, fiery abyss; one he had feared his whole life. He tried desperately to struggle, only to find his body was paralyzed. This was the end. He closed his eyes and faced his fears. A hot hand wrapped around his stomach and dragged him into the Earth.
Suddenly, he could move his fingers. His toes suddenly obliged to his brain's will. Pain coursed through his body as he struggled to get up. Soichiro helped him to his feet, asking if he was alright. L shrugged off the question and headed towards the black, open door. Light's pleas had ceased.
"Light?" Soichiro called when he and L entered the dark cavern. "He's chained up, so you ain't in no danger."
"Thank you, Soichiro."
Soirchiro led him blindly through the darkness until he could hear haggard breathing. L leaned against the barn wall, struggling to stand. A new sensation escalated from the bottom of his stomach. A strange, worldly desire yanked at his thoughts, twisting his stomach into knots. Suddenly, he caught a whiff of Light's familiar scent. He hadn't realized how close he was to his old friend. The smell drove his stomach into a frenzy. It bubbled and screamed, begging for something he always ignored.
"Lawliet," a cool, familiar voice sang in the dark. "Lawliet? Where are you hidin'? You come to me, expectin' me to be frightened, but I already know you ain't real. If you're gonna keep playing tricks on me, you might as well continue now. I ain't gonna stop you; I'll just sit back and watch. You can't show me somethin' I haven't seen yet."
Silence. The words clawed at L's brain. What did Light mean he was playing tricks on him? Was it possible Light was speaking to an apparition of Lawliet? The Lawliet Light spoke to had long disappeared.
"You keep attackin' me, but you ain't gettin' scarier. No, now I know you're just an empty shell. You keep playin' dead, and I'll start playin' with you. Then neither of us can claim victory. We shared everythin', Lawliet. Come to me, we can play in the fountain. Stop hidin', and come face me."
A figure appeared in front of Light. It's distorted movements were those belonging to only one hallucination he'd grown oddly fond of. Lawliet's joints cracked as he stepped towards him. His jaw frozen open, hanging towards the left. His eyes had been gouged out, and two hollow holes were left. Light smiled, content his speech had worked. Only minutes ago, the apparition had attacked him and, when he tried desperately to ignore it, he felt it's teeth sink into his skin over and over. It was only after it disappeared into the darkness that Light realized his foolishness.
As the figure drew closer, another figure stepped in it's shadows. It had the same silhouette as Light's last apparition, except this Lawliet seemed more composed. Movement obviously pained him, but this figure had it's eyes and it's lips were closed. The realistic Lawliet standing before Light frightened Light more than anything he'd seen before.
After his dreams of Lawliet ceased, he had never been able to picture the boy again. But this figure matched perfectly what Light believed Lawliet would look like. It even maintained the same scrawny figure. It sunk to the floor in front of Light, staring intently at him. Light's stomach jumped into knots.
"Wh-what do you want? You ain't nothin' like I've seen before. Hell, you look like an angel compared to what I've seen." A lump formed in Light's throat. "Come to take me away, angel Lawli? It's my turn to die, I guess. Suppose that means your dead too. After all the effort i put into fixin' the world, I guess early death should be my only reward. Anything to get out of this damn barn."
Light was silent for a moment. "I guess I'm glad it's you comin' to get me, and not some white-robed stranger. Though I wish it didn't mean you were dead, too."
"I'm not dead," Lawliet struggled to maintain control of his weakening voice. "You speak as if I'm a ghost standing before you, yet you do not fear me."
In the wagon, the anticipation for seeing Light had wrangled his brain. A part of him wanted desperately to see the boy, but his feelings were not important. He was afraid to see Light, afraid to see what his best friend had turned into. And the maniac in front of him was worse than what he expected.
"'Course I'm afraid," Light admitted. "Wouldn't you be if I suddenly appeared before you? I kinda wish I did go first, though. That way I could've seen what you've been up to all these damn years. It got hard when you left, Lawli. I could barely think straight. And after what happened to me, after that disgustin' monster-"
Light stopped himself. A low growl vibrated deep within Light's throat. "I don't want you here, you ain't the real Lawliet. The real Lawliet would have apologized by now. Hell, I figured the real one died years ago 'cause he just never came back. If you were the real Lawliet, could you explain why you left me alone? Did I do somethin' to offend you, or make you think I didn't want to help, 'cause that was all I wanted, Lawliet; to help."
He suddenly started to laugh. The eerie sounds pounded at L's aching ears. His headache split his brain, tossing it's fragments around the barn. Light didn't seem to notice, or at least was indifferent towards, L's pain.
When his horrendous laughter died down, he spoke again. "Lawli, I know this thing ain't you. You're too quiet. You were always quiet, but you loved talkin' to me. I know you did. I always made you laugh. Didn't I make you happy, Lawli? Oh Hell, I don't know why I'm asking you. You're just a figment of my imagination, come here to torture me some more. There's no way I could be dying, I don't feel bad enough for that. It's just my mind hasn't been functionin' properly. I have to distinguish the difference between reality and hallucinations constantly. This one makes the least sense."
"I'm not a hallucination, Light," L assured him. He turned to the three others standing around. "Can you please leave us alone?"
Soichiro tried to protest, claiming L's health was an issue. L ignored his pleas and sent the three off.
"You know you ain't in your right mind when your hallucination is trying to comfort you," Light suddenly muttered to himself.
Light finally fell silent, finally allowing L to examine him. He looked almost exactly the same, except he filled out nicely. His neck was wider than L remembered. His movements, however, were a stranger's. L figured it was the madness. He moved mechanically and quickly. His eyes were what changed the most, however. They had once been full of aspirations, dreams, and hope. Light now shared the same eyes as a man who had been let down all his life, constantly tossed between the world's vicious waves until he couldn't stand it anymore. Whatever happened to him over the past few years made him give up.
"Light, are you Kira?" he asked softly, wondering the reaction he would get.
"You know I am. We talked 'bout it in my dreams, remember? It's why you said you couldn't stick 'round. Even my subconscious Lawli don't wanna be around me. You said you were L, that detective whose been after me." Light let out a, "hah", only to fall silent again.
L tried to take his confession with a grain of salt, but how did Light know he was L? And he vaguely remembered a similar dream where he had told Light he could no longer see him. His heart suddenly spazemed and he clutched his chest, trying desperately to ignore the pain.
"What, now?" Light rolled his eyes. "You're tellin' me my hallucination feels pain?"
"I'm not a hallucination," L repeated. "Light, I'm here because you've lost you're mind and I want to help you. Just take one moment to look at me. I'm not a hallucination."
Light obediently examined L. His large, swollen eyes and chapped, thin lips were nearly perfect to Light's memory. The desperation in Lawliet's eyes, though, was something new. Maybe it was the reason he clutched his chest. Light reached his chained hand out, his fingertips brushed against L's hand.
Just like that, L's pain ceased. Light yanked his hand away, staring at his fingertips as if they'd been burnt. Electricity shot through their bodies, seizing their anguish, fears, hesitations, regrets, and packing them into nothingness. Wiped away from any emotions that separated them, they gazed at each other with new eyes. Light could suddenly think straight and truly examine the man sitting in front of him. Lawliet.
The next few moments were indescribable. Opposed to any doubts the two had about their feelings for one another, they were sent into fits of pure ecstasy. No, not ecstasy-Rapture. Light reached a trembling hand towards Lawliet, tracing the contours of his hollow cheeks. His fingers sparked and ignited his heart. Lawliet embraced the touch and gazed longingly at the boy he'd loved all his life.
Why had he been fighting himself? Because Light was Kira? His body urged him that that no longer mattered.
"Lawliet," Light whispered.
"Yes?"
"This can't be real." Light pulled his trembling fingers from Lawliet's cheeks.
Lawliet didn't answer, but only slinked his hand on the nape of Light's neck.
The moment seemed to last an eternity. Everything in Lawliet's body ached for Light's touch. Light's constant buzzing thoughts suddenly quieted, leaving only acceptance for the desires. It frightened Light, but in ways unimaginable. The oppression of his yearnings only enraged them until he felt they were about to explode. His entire life had led up to that moment: Lawliet's flee, the monster's violation, Misa's death, Kira's birth. His past no longer mattered; it was just him and Lawliet.
