THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN REWRITTEN AS I REALISED THAT PREVIUOSLY IT MADE ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE WITH THE PREVIUOS CHAPTERS IN THE STORY. PLEASE RE-READ IT.
Hello my dears. So as it says above, I have rewritten this as I'm an idiot. Anyway I hope you like this new chapter, there is only one more to go.
Now, I would like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update and here is the new chapter, I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
Castiel lay naked on the rug with his head on Dean's chest, listening to his heartbeat. And he knew he couldn't stop the words that were burning in his throat to be spoken, no matter how hard he tried. (Don't try Cassie, just say them. Shout it out loud.)
"I love you Dean." He whispered, but even though he spoke so quietly, in the still of the night they carried to Dean's ears with ease.
The other man lay there and wondered at them. If Cas had told him that a few days ago he would have run so hard and fast in the opposite direction Cas would have seen nothing but dust. But now, now he had realised that his feelings for the other man were the same, he felt nothing but a warmth in his heart and a need to let Cas know he wasn't alone with his feelings. (YES!)
"I love you too, Cas." Dean murmured down to the messy black hair he was playing with. Of course at his words the head shot up and he found himself staring into those beautiful blue eyes which had somehow captured his heart. (Damn right they have. Now you just remember that feeling, okay now?)
"Does this mean we can be together?" Castiel asked with hope in his eyes. If Dean loved him, then surely they could now come out of the shadows and be together in the light with everyone knowing.
"We are together Cas." Dean replied with a chuckle, not understanding what it was Castiel was truly asking him. But the man would not give up, he had started so he would finish. He wanted to be with Dean completely. No more half measures, not if they loved each other. (Go Cassie.)
"No, I mean outside of your apartment, with our friends." Castiel responded cautiously, and as he saw Dean's eyes get that closed look he wondered if he had gone too far, if he had maybe just ruined the perfect night they were having. (No, trust me. Everything will be fine.)
Dean's first immediate gut response to that question was to give Cas an unequivocal no. To try and persuade the other man that there was no need for all of that. But then he remembered what he had been thinking about earlier in the week, about how he wanted to be with Cas in every way he could. Therefore he turned to Cas and looked into the blue eyes staring at him with such wistfulness, and Dean knew even if he hadn't already been considering it, there was nothing he could deny the man in his arms (hell yeah there isn't). So he was going to have to come out to all his friends. That was all there was to it. He couldn't not be with Cas, not now he knew what they had together. Oh god help him, he was going to come out. (Deep breaths Dean, and don't worry, Cassie will be there with you every step of the way.)
"Okay." Dean finally answered, though it was barely above a whisper. It was still his agreement.
"You mean it?" Castiel asked wanting to be absolutely sure, and when Dean nodded Castiel moved so he could kiss him deeply, trying to put all his love and thankfulness in that one action.
The kiss took Dean's mind from his worries about what he had agreed, and as it grew deeper, he started to think that maybe being able to do this with Cas whenever he wanted wouldn't be such a bad thing after all. (No, it really won't. Well done Dean.)
"Thank you." Castiel finally said when they pulled apart, a glorious smile upon his face as he looked down at Dean who chuckled, feeling embarrassed by the devoted look he was getting.
"Charlie is going to love this so much." He muttered changing the subject away from the feelings and the heavy emotional crap that was surrounding them. Plus he had hoped to make her hold out a little longer, but it seemed that wasn't to be the case. Not if Cas got his way, and Dean knew that Cas would be getting his way. (Of course, you love him.)
At his words Castiel pulled away to sit up, with his back to Dean as they hit him. Dean was willing to tell all his friends he was in a relationship with a man. It was a big step for him he knew, and he was doing for him. Castiel felt uneasy about that, not Dean telling everyone, but more the secrets he held about the truth of how it was they had gotten together. He needed to tell Dean. (You know, I have a feeling he is already aware. You'll see.)
"Cas? You okay?" Dean asked seeing the change in the man with him and sitting up himself, placing a hand gently on Cas' shoulder hoping to get him to turn round and face him. Get him to tell him what was wrong.
"You remember that meeting where Charlie invited me to join her book club?" Castiel asked turning his eyes to Dean's letting the other man see the tortured look in them. Though Dean couldn't work out why it was there. (Oh Dean, come on use that brain I know you have my dear.)
"Yeah?" Dean replied with a frown not understanding what was going on.
"Well, it wasn't accidental." Castiel said letting the words out in one swift breath in the hopes that if he said it quick enough it would hurt Dean and himself less. (Don't worry, it will all be fine my darling, I promise.)
At those words Dean knew exactly what was going on with Cas, and he debated telling the other man that he already knew the meddlesome hand Charlie had had in the making of their relationship. But instead he paused, and decided to see just how much of the truth Cas was willing to share with him (bad boy Dean, don't be mean to Cassie). Or more truthfully, just how much of the truth Charlie had told him. (That's a much better reason, carry on.)
So taking a deep breath he asked in a quiet tone "what'd ya mean?"
"Charlie took my number from your trash can and called me. She arranged to have me in your life thinking that if you saw more of me then you would realise that we could be something more." Castiel responded hunching his shoulders as he said the words, waiting for Dean to get angry at him for what they had done. For the way they had manipulated him into the relationship they now had.
"Okay." Dean breathed out. At least his words were the same as Charlies had been, and therefore she hadn't left anything out. Which was good, he could cope with this. Because while he may still be slightly annoyed at his friend, she had brought him the best thing he could ever ask for. Cas, in his life, and the other man's love. And really, did it matter too much how that came about? (Nope, definitely not. Now you just keep thinking like that yeah? Please?)
Castiel couldn't believe that was all Dean had to say, just okay? Really? That was it? (Yep, seems like. Take it Cassie, it's all good.)
"Are you mad at me?" He asked in a small voice, hoping against hope that he hadn't just ruined what he and Dean had, were about to have. Any of it.
"No. I could never be mad at you." Dean replied with a small smile before he gently placed a kiss on Cas' shoulder to prove his words were true. It wasn't Cas' fault he had been pulled into Charlies madcap scheme, he hadn't known any better. So how could he blame him? (You are being very reasonable today Dean, I have to say. I like it.)
At his words Castiel knew that there was one more thing he needed to come clean about, though he really didn't want to do it while Dean was kissing his shoulder in the way he was. But he also knew they couldn't start their relationship on lies and secrets. He had to tell the other man about Balthazar. (Ooh. Okay, good luck my love.)
Therefore taking a deep breath and turning so Dean could no longer kiss any part of him Castiel spoke once more. "There is something else I need to tell you Dean."
"What is it?" Dean asked frowning again. What else could Cas possibly have to tell him? (You'll see, just remember, you love him, okay? For me?)
"Charlie and I weren't the only ones at that meeting. My roommate Balthazar was there too." Castiel responded winching as he said the words waiting for the axe to fall, and for Dean to change him mind about wanting to be with him. (I'm sure he won't, he loves you after all.)
"Balthazar? How do I know that name?" Dean asked puzzled, because thinking about it, he realised Cas had never told him his roommates name before, yet he was sure he had heard it. And Balthazar wasn't exactly a common name to have was it? So where…? (Wait for it…)
"He was the man who pretended to be my ex that night in the bar." Castiel breathed, saying it barely loud enough for Dean to hear, but he didn't really need the words. The memory of exactly where he had heard the name Balthazar was coming back in full technicolour. Son of a bitch. (*Bam*, that's the sound of the other shoe dropping.)
"The one who kissed you is the guy you live with?" Dean asked in an even tone hoping that in doing so he would be able to contain his temper, as well as the jealously that surged through him at the idea that Cas lived with the guy who had kissed him like that in public. (Oh Dean, you do not need to worry, Castiel loves you, we all know that.)
"Yes, but it meant nothing. He is straight." Castiel rushed to reassure Dean. Hoping he would understand that that kiss really did mean nothing to him, less that nothing in fact. Dean was the only one he cared about, the only one he loved with his whole heart. (We know, and so does Dean, really.)
Dean was silent for a while as he processed this piece of information. Balthazar was not Cas' ex, he was his roommate, and he was straight, so that could only mean one thing in his mind. (Oh Chuck, what are you thinking now Dean-o?)
"You planned that?" He asked with supressed anguish in his voice at the idea of being played in such a way. I mean it was one thing for Charlie to have Cas hang around, but to actually get his friend to come and pretend to be his ex just to make him jealous? That was something else all together. (oh Dean, not sure there is much I can say to that is there?)
"No. I had no idea what he was going to do, I promise. He just wanted me to be happy." Castiel replied in such an earnest tone that Dean could do nothing but believe him. (Thank Chuck.)
It seemed both of their friends had just wanted them to be together. And well, the plan worked, but that didn't mean he had to like the idea of Cas living with the guy who had kissed him in public, nor did he have to like the idea that Cas' friend had played him so god damn well. Son of bitch. Hmm, when he met this Balthazar again, he had a few words he wanted to say to him. (Glad I'm not Balthazar is all I can say to that. Though that is going to be fun to see. Until then my dears.)
