Chapter Twenty Nine: A Look Into the Past
A day had passed since Kate told Violet why she left her, why she hadn't returned that day with Sayid. Violet, no matter how much she still wanted to be mad at Kate, couldn't be. Kate's whole reason for leaving her was to make sure she'd never have to leave her. How could Violet be mad at her for that?
Things were slowly seeming to go back to normal. Violet helped Kate get firewood, fill water bottles, albeit in moderation. Kate was such a stickler for Violet's health, and she was still recovering from a gunshot wound, after all, so most of her time was spent inside the tent, not moving, which irked Violet to high heaven. But she respected Kate's wisdom, after all, Violet kind of felt like she owed her for being so mad at her. She'd have to be humble for a couple of days.
It was nearing mid-afternoon and Violet was taking Vincent for a small walk up and down the beach. She had promised Kate she wouldn't be long, otherwise she might 'exert' herself. It was annoying, all this babying. Didn't Violet know her own body better than anyone else? Shouldn't she be able to decide for herself?
As she was walking, she saw Daniel Faraday sitting by the ocean, watching its waves mysteriously. Violet puckered her brow. It was pretty odd to see him by himself, usually he was with Charlotte, the redhead who was responsible for her being shot. Granted, it's not like she held up the gun and fired intentionally, but still, Violet didn't trust her.
Daniel, on the other hand, he was different. He seemed unsure of his alliances, and it was kind of weird. Violet still didn't even really know whether these people were good or bad, but it seemed as though Daniel didn't know either.
She passed him once, and then again, and then again until he turned and noticed her presence. He offered an awkward kind of smile.
"Oh, uh, hi. Violet right? Yes, how...how is the, uh, you know," he motioned to his stomach.
"Oh, you mean the gaping hole in my stomach?" Violet asked with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. "It's fine, or at least, I say its fine. Others have differing opinions."
Daniel laughed awkwardly and went back to looking out at the ocean. Sighing, Violet pulled Vincent close and sat beside Daniel, making sure to leave a safe enough distance. She still didn't trust him, she didn't trust any of them. She still had issues trusting some of the people in her camp, why should she trust outsiders now?
"So, like, what's your story, Daniel?" Violet asked after a few moments silence. "You know, like how did you end up on that boat?"
"Well, see, that's an interesting story, I mean, I certainly didn't intend to be on that boat, but they were looking for a physicist. Why they chose me, I don't know, it was quite random, but they're paying me good money." He looked at her sideways, noticing a familiar look in her eye. "Ah, and before you ask, I really don't know what their purpose is. I just go along for the ride and do the research I've been told to do." Violet nodded, smiling a little. He was fun to talk to, entertaining at the least, and she genuinely thought he was too flighty to understand what was going on, unless it was really just an act. But remembering the look of pure fear in his eyes when he was typing away furiously at the computer in the Tempest, Violet doubted his complete involvement with the freighter from the start.
"How long were on the boat for?" Violet asked, genuinely curious. Daniel turned and looked at her, and then around, as though searching for Charlotte.
"I, uh, I gotta ask. Did someone send you to ask me these questions, because, ah, I think Charlotte would be better at-"
"No! Nobody sent me, I just...I don't know, I'm just making conversation." Violet admitted. Daniel offered a smile and then a nod.
"Well, what about you, then? What's your story? How did you end up on, you know, the plane that crashed?" He asked.
Violet's stomach sank as she remembered that day, the last day she'd seen her sister alive. She felt tears glistening in her eyes. She couldn't believe it had really only been three months since her sister had died. The realization of this made her sick. Christmas would have been two days ago, and if they'd never crashed on the island, she would have been celebrating the holiday with Katie, and possibly her father, presuming he wouldn't have killed himself. Instead, she spent her Christmas trekking through the jungle after Juliet, stubbornly following her into the Tempest and getting shot and nearly killed. Some Christmas, but even that was better than dealing with the memories of Katie and her mother at Christmastime.
Clearing her throat, she went back to answering Daniel.
"I, uh, I was on the plane with my big sister. Her name's...well, it was Katie. We were going to L.A. to meet my father. He left when I wasn't even born. He wanted to meet me, but, well the plane crashed." She swallowed. "My sister died, in the crash, I mean."
Daniel puckered his brow and shook his head suddenly.
"I'm sorry, I mean, about your sister, but something struck me as, well anyway, your last name, it's Deville, isn't it?" Daniel asked, obviously scattered about something. Violet turned and looked at him.
"Yeah, why?" She figured he must have known because of Frank, the pilot, who had all the names off the manifest memorized. Ignoring her question, he went on.
"Just out of curiousity, where did you grow up?" He asked. Violet puckered her brow.
"Did someone send you to ask me these questions?" She asked. Daniel smiled and shook his head.
"No, I'm just making conversation."
Violet hesitated and then told him.
"Most of what I remember is from Sydney, Katie and I moved there when I was 8, after my...after my mother died. Before that, we lived in the States, in LA."
"Your sister, she would have been, what, 30?"
Violet tilted her head.
"Yeah, but how did you know that?"
Daniel smiled, as though lost in a distant memory.
"Katie Deville," he looked at Violet with a smile. "I went to high school with your sister."
Violet's stomach turned there, as she looked up at Dan with growing curiousity, and a shocked expression. Had she heard him right? Could it be true? Could this stranger, someone she had never met before, known her sister, the only other person in the world who had ever understood Violet? Could Daniel be, here on this island, the only living connection to her sister? VIolet swallowed, unsure what to say, how to respond. She couldn't ignore the tears rising up inside of her, as she tried to comprehend what Daniel had said.
"W-what?" She asked, not sure what else to say. Daniel smiled, staring out at the ocean.
"Yeah, man that was so long ago, at least it feels like it was." He paused. "I remember her showing off pictures to her friends in 11th grade when you came along. I remember now, yeah, I overheard a lot of her conversations, I wasn't exactly part of her group."
"She...she talked about me?" Violet asked, biting her lip. Dan smiled.
"Oh yeah. Man, most kids thought it was weird for her to have a baby sister at her age, but not Katie. Her locker was filled with baby pictures of you, and a magnet with your name on it, 'Violet.' Most people got tired of hearing about you, but I didn't." He swallowed. "That was the same year her dad left. I only knew because I found her crying on the football field one day. That's how I met her, and it was the only time we'd ever talked, really. She told me about her, uh, your dad leaving with a new baby. I think that's why she talked about you so much. It was obvious she loved you, and I think it really helped her through a hard time, having you. I thought it was...well, I thought it was cute, but I pretty much thought everything she did was cute. I, uh, yeah, I kind of had a thing for her."
Violet smiled.
"Really? Why?"
"She was the only one who was nice to me in high school. We never hung out, but after that day on the football field, she always smiled at me. I still remember her smile, it got me through some pretty hard days." Daniel recalled. Violet couldn't argue with that. It never mattered what Katie was going through, she was always putting others first, even when she was hurting. She had been the most selfless person Violet had ever known.
"Did you ever ask her out?" Violet couldn't help but asking. Daniel smiled then and shrugged.
"No, like I said, our crowds didn't mix." He coughed, embarrassed. "But, uh, I did ask her to prom."
"Really?" Violet had heard all about Katie's prom, but she was sure her date wasn't named Daniel. "What happened?"
"Troy McCook already asked her. He was a jock, captain of the basketball team, the envy of every guy in school, and she went with him." Daniel laughed. "Then we graduated that year and I never saw her again."
Violet smiled, trying to imagine a teenage Katie. By the time Violet was old enough to remember having a big sister, Katie was already finished high school. Violet's memories of Katie were always going away to college and getting a job. Violet hardly thought about Katie before Violet was born, but now that she thought about it, Katie had 16 years of life before Violet was even born. She'd grown up with two parents as an only child, and then at 16, her father ditched her and a baby was born. Violet couldn't imagine what that must have been like for Katie, so many changes, and yet, Daniel said, she still smiled.
Violet swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. All she could feel was regret, regret of never caring enough to ask Katie to tell her about her life. Katie's life was always lived for Violet, and Violet felt nothing but selfish, as she remembered her sister, a woman who had selflessly sacrificed everything for her little sister. At only 24, her sister had taken custody of the orphaned Violet, raised her, took care of her.
Violet would never remember her sister the same again.
The sun was beginning to set, and a dusk light settled over the camp. She had tied Vincent to a nearby tree to let him sleep while she walked slowly down the beach. She was supposed to be resting, she knew that, and any minute now, Kate or Juliet or Jack would find her and force her to go to bed. They thought they knew what was best for her, and maybe they did, but she had things to think through.
She couldn't help but think of Katie, who'd grown up with a father. Violet tried to imagine the man who's name was Matthew, she tried to imagine him as a father. All she'd ever had was a photo of him Katie had shown her only days before they'd gotten on the plane to LA to meet him. Now Katie was dead, and so was her father. All she had to go on was her own created fantasies.
She tried to imagine he was a good father, why else would he have stuck around for 16 years before leaving for another woman? She tried to imagine Katie as a small child, with her tangled brown hair, running after her father in the backyard, chasing him while they laughed, her beautiful mother watching from the front porch. She tried to imagine her father cuddling Katie close while reading her a story. Violet had her own memories of her mother cuddling her close, and she thought she could almost smell her pomegranate shampoo.
Had her mother loved her father? Had they had a fairy tale wedding? Violet had never known the answers to those questions, the topic of her father had always been a sensitive one, but she couldn't help but wonder now. Who was this man who had loved his daughters so much, he took his own life because he couldn't stand the regret of those lost years?
Violet sighed, and leaned up against a tree, looking toward the jungle.
She froze, and felt her heart stop.
It couldn't be...
There standing at the tree line of the jungle was a man who's face was familiar, if only from a picture, but she knew who it was, and it was impossible.
But was it?
Her father.
She swallowed for a minute, staring wide-eyed at the figure, blinking a few times, not believing it was true, but he was still there. Violet couldn't believe what she was seeing, this couldn't be true, this couldn't be happening.
And as though in slow motion, her father turned around and headed into the jungle.
No, if he was here, she had to see him.
But how could he be here? Be realistic, Violet, he's dead.
But what if Juliet only told her that for an unknown reason? What if, truly, her father had been alive the whole time, and found her on this island?
"Dad?" Violet yelled out, but he kept walking into the jungle.
Without a second though, Violet began to run toward the jungle. She ignored all the red flags running through her head, because they didn't matter. All that mattered to her right now was catching her father.
Though the man was walking, Violet found herself struggling to catch him. Deeper and deeper into the jungle he led her, and though she called for him, he kept walking away.
Branches scraped Violet's arms and face, and her stomach throbbed in pain, trying to catch him, and then, she tripped on a root, and collided hard with the ground, feeling the wind knocked right out of her.
She rolled onto her back and tried to catch her breath as she looked up through the leaves that blanketed the jungle. This was crazy. It couldn't be him, could it? He was dead; she'd seen his suicide note, and even if Juliet had been lying about it, how could he be here, on the same island she was? If he was truly here to rescue her, why had he run away?
"Violet?" A voice broke through the silence. "Is that you?"
Violet looked up to see Sun kneeling down next to her.
"What happened?" Sun asked, brushing away the hair in Violet's face. "Are you hurt?"
Violet sighed, struggling to sit up. Her stomach was burning.
"No, I'm fine." She lied, looking over Sun's shoulder in the direction she'd seen her father running. There was no sign of him. She breathed out. Great, she thought, I've gone completely mental.
"What are you doing out here?" Sun asked. "I thought Jack and Kate told you to stay on the beach." Violet sighed.
"Yeah I know, I just-" what, was chasing after a ghost? Yeah right, that wouldn't work. "I was just looking for something."
"I'm sure by now, Jack and Kate are looking for you." Sun offered her hand. "Will you come back with me?"
Violet hesitated. She wanted to run deeper in the jungle, find this man, and ask why he was here. Was he really a ghost, did she even believe in ghosts? Had he come back after he'd died to make his peace with her? Was he there to haunt her? Or was she just going crazy?
She didn't know, but she knew she shouldn't go off into the jungle, not like this. She was in pain now, and knew she wouldn't make it very far. Not to mention she didn't want anyone to worry, especially not Kate, not anymore.
Violet took Sun's hand and followed her back to the beach, clutching her stomach and trying to keep up with Sun, who told her to take her time. Violet was hardly listening, though. All she kept thinking about was her father.
They arrived back on the beach, and Sun, after offering Violet a smile, headed to her own tent, where Jin was waiting. Violet saw Juliet look up and see Violet emerging from the bushes, and Violet could see the look of disapproval on her face. She didn't care, the last thing she wanted was to talk to anybody, and she hoped this came across as she crossed the beach and took a seat in the sand, staring out at the ocean. She felt tears stinging her eyes, as sleep threatened to take her, and she couldn't help but wonder whether or not she'd just been crazy after all.
Moments passed, and Violet heard footsteps approaching. She quickly brushed away the tears staining her cheeks and looked beside her to see Jack joining her. Violet tried not to sigh. He was really the last person she wanted to see right now. After everything they'd been through, she still couldn't look him in the eye. He would always be the man who was going to leave them in the hands of the Others.
"Hey Vi," Jack greeted. "Sun told me she found you in the jungle. Do you mind me asking what you were doing out there?"
"Nothing," Violet answered quickly.
"You know, you shouldn't be going too far at all. If you got too tired, or the pain was too much and you fainted, we need you close by so we can help you if that happens," Jack said.
"I wasn't gonna faint," Violet argued.
"Just be safe, okay?" Jack asked, shooting a smile toward Violet. Violet didn't look up, she still stared at the water. The image of her father, dressed in a suit and tie, staring at her from across the beach still lingered. He looked so real, even though she'd only ever seen a picture of him. Why would she see him? Why would her mind make things up like that? Or did they?
"You mind me asking what's wrong?" Jack asked after a few seconds. Violet breathed out, glaring at the ocean.
"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you," Violet replied. Why she was even considering it was beyond her. Maybe she wanted Jack to think she was crazy. Maybe if he believed that, he'd leave her alone.
"Try me," he offered. Violet sighed. Fine, she'd try, he'd label her a quack job and leave.
"I saw my father," she said simply. Jack puckered her brow.
"What do you mean?" he asked. "Before the crash?"
"No," Violet paused. "In the jungle. Before Sun came."
"I, uh, I thought you father was-"
"Dead. He is, or at least that's what Juliet says." Violet sighed. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. "I'm just telling you what I saw."
Jack didn't respond for a while, and Violet peeked up at him to try and read his face, what he was feeling. He was staring at the ocean, and his face had that look on it when he was deep in thought, contemplating something. Violet couldn't help but feel curious.
"What?" she asked. Jack shook his head.
"I'm gonna tell you something I've only ever told one other person, Violet, and I want it stay between us."
Violet was interested now, so she nodded her head as a promise. Jack breathed out and hesitated before he went on.
"Two days after we crashed, I saw my dad in the jungle too." He swallowed. "He died in Sydney."
Violet stared at him for a moment, taking in what he had just said. If what he was saying was true, then maybe he had the answers. Maybe he knew why her father was in the jungle.
Violet swallowed.
"So...what does that mean?" she asked, brushing away some stray pieces of sand on her leg. Jack shook his head.
"To be honest, I think it was a mixture of things. I was probably hallucinating, I was pretty dehydrated and extremely over tired. It was right after the crash, I was helping a lot of people, the Marshall, and others. I was exhausted. My mind was probably playing tricks on me." Even as Jack said this, Violet got the impression that even he wasn't thoroughly convinced. Violet sighed. What was he saying? Did he think she was hallucinating? Was she? After all, she'd just been shot, she was recovering from that, and she was tired and in a lot of pain. Maybe her mind was playing tricks on her too.
She sighed, and settled her head on her knees, and Jack took that as his cue to leave.
"Get some rest, Violet," he said simply and walked away, leaving Violet to ponder over whether or not she truly had seen her father, or if her mind had made it up. She couldn't help but wonder if Hurley had ever seen things like that, after all, he'd spent time in a mental institution.
Violet didn't know, but her father had looked so real, so real in fact, she could have reached out and touched him. Could her mind have created something so real out of nothing but a photograph and no memory?
She didn't know, but she did know that it rattled her, and she knew she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.
