Relief hit the second the icepack touched the back of my head. "Yesssss….thank you so much…" I gave Jody a quick smile before closing my eyes, wanting to lose myself in the cold spot that was working on my ice-pick level headache.
Jody sat next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "It's the least I can do. I owe you my life."
I flapped a hand at her, leaning back so the couch would hold the ice in place. "Wasn't gonna let you die."
We sat in a comfortable silence, me feeling like more of a human being and Jody...well… probably feeling very much not dead.
"How long til they get here?" I asked.
"Maybe an hour. I got the feeling Dean was hauling ass. I may need to call in some favors if he gets pulled over."
I snorted, adjusting the pack so it touched another throbbing section. "If Dean actually pulls over, I'll marry Crowley."
Jody let out this laugh that was hard to describe. I knew he posed as some guy on a dating site, and that she was actually out on a date with him when he decided to kill her. I guess she was caught between amusement and holy fucking shit.
Welcome to the club.
"How's Cas doing?" I didn't bother opening my eyes to look for him. I knew the emergency techs took him up to a spare bedroom.
Jody sighed. "Still sleeping. That's...that's okay, right?"
I cracked open one eye. "Yeah. No? I dunno, actually." I sighed, wishing Sam was here to figure it out. "He's an angel, so there's no real good way to know. He wasn't at full strength when he brought us here."
Jody shook her head, shivering a little and wrapping her arms around her midsection. "I still can't believe your timing. Another minute, and…" She sighed, sinking back against the couch.
I patted her knee, which seemed woefully inadequate, but was all I could muster with my eyes closed. "Don't think about it. It's over...focus on that." I sighed back at her. "This ice is a gift from the gods, seriously."
Jody laughed. "More like a gift from my Kenmore." She paused, and I knew what was coming. "So...you're their sister?"
I bit my tongue to refrain from saying from the same mister, silently cursing Dean for burning that into my head. Before I could adequately reply with more than a grunty-like acknowledgement, someone banged on the front door.
My initial reaction was to reach for my gun, but it wasn't on me (she put it on the table) (didn't stop me from groping for it, though). I thought the demons found us, and I let the ice pack slide off my neck when I sat forward. But then I realized...since when do demons knock?
Jody was off the couch when Sam's voice rang out. "Jody?"
She smirked at me. "I guess I was a little off in my estimation."
As she unlocked and unbolted the door, I muttered back, "That's usually the case with those two."
She laughed, opening the door, and my two bruiser sized brothers barreled their way inside, eyes darting everywhere, taking in everything, including me on the couch, feebly waving hullo.
Dean was at my side in an instant, wordlessly fingering the ice pack, determining what new level of crap I was feeling.
Sam was assessing Jody. "You sure you're okay? Did you get checked out?"
Jody nodded. "Yeah...they said I was fine." She gave Sam a hug, which he wholeheartedly returned. When she pulled back, she tilted her head, studying him. "You okay?"
Sam's tongue darted out, wetting his lips as his eyes briefly met Dean's. "Uh...yeah. Yeah, I'm okay." His feet shuffled, and he tucked some hair behind his ears.
Sure you are, Sam.
Jody just nodded, backing off and giving him room.
Dean's attention returned to me. "Bad day, huh?"
Eyes all innocent, "Pfffft, what? We made an awesome rescue, thank you very much. It's all good."
Our eyes locked.
He made a humming sound, checking my forehead and tugging on my bloodstained jacket, as if to show me that Heyyy, look! There's blood here, from your insides!
Not wanting to look like a child in front of Jody, I stuck out my tongue.
Her serious Mom face on, Jody stepped up behind him. "She's been coughing up some blood, has a killer headache, and probably needs a doctor, but you said no hospitals, so…" She shot Dean a disapproving look, simultaneously showing worry and asking what the fuck was going on.
Dean's hand dragged down his face with a trembling hand. He slowly stood, facing her, pointedly ignoring her pointed commentary on his "parenting". "Where's Cas?"
Jody motioned towards the stairs with her head. "Upstairs - still unconscious. At least he was last time I checked." She folded her arms and I swear she tapped her foot. Winchester deflection didn't work on this Jody, either.
I kept my mouth shut, not sure what they'd want her to know. I hadn't been awake that long, with the headache and another coughing fit taking up most of our time together. The first chance she had to grill me was right before they showed up.
After a closer look at both of them, their exhaustion was plain as day. Sam, looking really uncomfortable, sighed. "Hey, Jody, can we, uh...we're beat...and…"
Jody's posture slumped, and she nodded with understanding. "Of course, Sam. I'll get you upstairs and you can get some sleep. But then…"
Sam nodded, "Everything - we'll tell you everything."
Dean nodded, too, so tired he couldn't say anything else.
After an awkward first three tries, I got to my feet. "I'm up. For now, at least. I can fill her in, if that's okay…" Both Sam and I looked at Dean to make the call. He nodded, yawning and swaying a bit, reaching out to steady himself.
Yeah, they were done.
One of Jody's extra rooms had a queen bed in it, not ideal, but they could fit, and they were past the point of caring. Dean went to check on Cas, Sam went to the bathroom, I sat on the bed thinking that a nap would be good.
And I just woke up.
Sigh.
I sat there, eyes closed, deciding between talking with Jody and passing out again, when the bed dipped and someone pulled my hair off the back of my neck, which was, oh gross, seriously sweaty.
Not bothering to open my eyes, I blurted, "I'll shower in the morning - I promise."
Sam chuckled, sweeping my hair around my neck to hang over one shoulder. "Don't worry about it. We're not exactly fresh, either."
Eyes still closed, I leaned carefully until my head lie against his chest. His heartbeat thumped against my forehead, a little fast, but there. "How're you doing?" I mumbled, feeling the soft flannel fabric brush against my cheek.
I felt him swallow. He scratched behind his ear, contemplating how to answer. An arm snaked across my shoulders, squeezing gently. "I don't know how to express how completely unfair her death was. There wasn't a damn thing we could do, either. The room wasn't warded. If we found the hex bag in time, he would've found another way to kill her. Simple as that. I know that...Dean knows that...but he still feels responsible, because - "
I knew damn well what was going through Dean's mind. I also knew what happened, and that it wasn't right. "Sam." I interjected. "I asked how you were doing."
Ha - that made him huff.
And swallow again.
Then something wet and warm hit my nose.
Aw, Sam…
I wrapped my arms around him, nodding. "Yeah...I thought so."
He sniffed and wiped his eyes, clearing his throat and shifting on the bed and, "Jesus, Sam, just be sad for a second, okay? It's okay."
Another huff, then...a really tight hug, his chin on my head, holding like he'd never let go.
It took a few minutes for him to settle, but he did, sighing and loosening his deathgrip on me. I had a feeling this resurfaced memories of Jess dying, and coupled with his exhaustion, he was a wrung out mess.
I sat up, venturing a peek. Hmmm...tight jaw, hooded eyes, stubble glistening with tears, bobbing Adam's apple, wrinkled up forehead...yup - Grieving Sam that's barely holding it together.
"Okay…" I patted his chest. "Time for you to get some sleep. Everything will still be shitty in the morning, but at least you won't be as tired."
He laugh-sobbed at that, ducking his head while shaking it. I gave him a half-smile. "I'm serious, Sam. Lie down."
One last scrub at his eyes and he nodded back, crawling into bed, reminding me of how willing Sam was to follow directions when he couldn't think straight. Like a good little sister, I tucked him in, smiling when he yawned and curled into a ball, falling asleep almost immediately.
There he was...lying there, just...being normal. It totally made me tear up. I was going to lose this once the trial was over.
No more Sam.
Well, until he died, and that wasn't exactly an uplifting thought. Balling my hands into fists, I forced my fingernails into my skin so I had something else to focus on. I took a slow, raspy breath and left the room as fast as I could.
I closed the door, turned, and ran right into Dean. Literally - I slammed right into him.
"Whoa, hey there."
I wanted to ask how Cas was. I wanted to let him know that Sam was a mess. I wanted to tell him to go to bed and not worry about me or Jody or anything.
What I did, was burst into tears, muffling my sobs in his shirt and clinging to him with a ferocity that pushed him back a couple steps. It was the hiccupy kind of crying, where you can't control its intensity, because everything just comes flooding out.
Apparently, the noble self-talk about dying was all a bunch of hooey.
I waited for the questions, the confusion, the quips.
What I got, was a deep sigh, a huge hug, and, "Been waitin' for this, kiddo," murmured into my ear, which made me cry even harder. Dean was beyond tired, beyond frazzled, beyond worried. The last thing he needed was my little meltdown when he desperately needed sleep.
And let's welcome Guilt to the party…
My Goddamn saint of a brother waited until the worst of it died down. Then he quietly led me back downstairs to the couch, where he plopped down, pulling me next to him, and let me finish turning into a puddle of goo. His hands stroked my hair, rubbed my back, held me close.
Eventually, I was able to choke out, "Sh...shit...I'm sorry…"
That earned me a cuff on the head (and fuck him, not a light one). I tried again. "You...you need to sleep. I didn't mean to - ow!"
I figured that being smacked during an outburst meant I needed to shut up, so I did just that, letting him soothe and settle me the way only Dean could.
Tissues appeared (I swear I don't know how he does it), and I wiped off my face, blew my nose, and got myself under control. That's when I noticed him wiping his face, blowing his nose and getting himself under control.
I tried to sit up, but he held me tight, keeping me against him, unable to see his face. "I'm only gonna say this once, because I don't do...talking." I almost held my breath. "I'm not in favor of you dying. I watched Sam do it twice, and I don't...I don't handle losing people well. I'm trying to tell myself that you won't...that we don't really know what'll happen...but Cas seems to think it will happen. To make it worse, I don't know what'll happen after. I wish to hell I did, but I don't. But that doesn't meant we won't try like hell to figure it out."
A small alarm started going off in my head, and I struggled to sit up, at least a little, and stare him right in the eyes. "If you do anything stupid, I fucking swear to God…"
Dean rolled his eyes. "I won't. Sam wouldn't let me." I opened my mouth, and he cut me off. "I won't let him do anything stupid, either. I promise, okay? I'm just saying...we'll find out where...where you are…" Wow, we both choked on that at the same time. "...and make sure you're ok. I just...I can't promise how long it'll take, but remember that, okay? We'll look."
Okay, I got that this was a carryover from Purgatory and the Cage. But there was something different in his words. It wasn't a pledge to bring me back, it was a pledge to make sure I was okay, to continue taking care of me, no matter what.
JesusfuckingChrist, that's why I fucking love them so Goddamn much.
The look on my face told him that, I knew it did, because he nodded, put his hand on the back of my head, and forced me to lie back against him. "Now. Let me fucking go to sleep."
I laugh-sighed, got comfortable, losing myself in Dean's comfort, and sinking into sleep. Jody just had to wait.
xxxxx
Breakfast took a while. We filled Jody in on everything that was going on, and she was appropriately worried, freaked out, and angry all at the same time. Luckily she was more pissed at Crowley than the boys for not filling her in sooner.
I...didn't eat anything. My insides felt like they were burning, and it made swallowing a tad uncomfortable. Most of my time was spent with my knees pulled to my chest, my head resting against Sam on the couch. I couldn't even get cranberry juice down my throat.
Your organs have burns on them, and are slowly deteriorating. I'm afraid our trip here only made your condition worse.
OhmyGod...I stared at Cas who slowly shuffled into the living room, my mouth hanging open. It was one thing to know you were dying. It was another to know all the specifics.
"Kate? What is it?"
My heart pounded in my chest, in my head, in my everything. Forgetting that Cas spoke in my head, I answered out loud. "Burned? They're burned? Like..." I floundered a second, realizing there wasn't another synonym to use, there. "...burned?"
Cas nodded, "That's...what I said…" He wore an almost guilty look, his gaze shifting from Dean, to Sam, and back to me. "The grace inside you is definitely keeping you alive at this point, but...there isn't much time. You need to complete the third trial soon."
Jody stared wide-eyed. "What's burned?"
I swallowed hard. "All my organs," I whispered. I wiped my hand over my mouth. I mean, I knew it was bad, but burned organs? That's just...it's...yeah.
Dean sat forward. "Excuse me? Your...what?"
Cas made a face like he was about to disagree. "Well...technically…" He tilted his head and squinted at me, his eyes roaming up and down my body, like Superman using his X-Ray vision. "No...you were correct. All of them."
Sam sat up straight. "All of them? Including...her brain?"
At this point, I covered my face with my hands. "I don't wanna know."
"But - "
I glared at him, willing lasers to appear if at all possible. "Don't. Answer." I fucking mean it, Cas. It doesn't matter at this point, does it?
Cas sighed, purposefully avoiding Dean's looks. He nodded at me in agreement, and turned to Jody. "Thank you for your hospitality. I apologize for being...indisposed...for so long."
Jody recovered from the Organ News and blinked repeatedly at the angel. "Oh - uh...no big deal. Thanks for saving my life!" She laughed nervously, getting up and reaching for the coffee pot. "You want some coffee?" Her hand dropped, and she frowned. "Or...I mean, do angels drink coffee? Do you eat at all? Or…"
Cas smiled at her. "I don't require any beverages, thank you."
It took that whole little exchange for me to calm down and push the burned insides thing out of my mind. Or off to the side. Or...okay, I couldn't stop obsessing. Jesus - what if...what if my brain was damaged? I tilted my head to the side, trying to see if I could determine how a burned brain would feel. Was I losing it mentally, and didn't realize it? When would I know? How would I know? Maybe I did want to know. Maybe -
"Your brain is fine, Kate."
As if on cue, all three of us explosively let out a breath and sagged, Sam and I against the couch, Dean in an armchair.
"But I fear it will also succumb to the effects of the trial."
"Jesus, Cas!" Dean scolded.
Cas turned to him, and oooh - gave him a JesusChrist, Dean! look. "Hiding it doesn't change anything. Don't you think it's important to know, so you can plan more effectively?"
Dean threw his hands in the air. "Of course I do - but just blurting out - " He lowered his voice to imitate Cas. "Your organs all have second degree burns on them, but luckily your brain is only sunburned!" He dropped the voice. "It's like - "
"That's actually a good analogy. The sunburned part, I mean. However, I detect some third degree burns, and - "
"Okay!" Sam snapped. "Let's...let's focus on what we're doing next." He glanced at me and I nodded back, giving him a big smile to prove that we needed to just keep moving ahead, here.
Because continuing the chit-chat of my burned interior was conjuring up all sorts of gross images. But one thing was for sure - if my brain was also going to start...deteriorating...we had to get a move on.
Dean did his hand-face thing and sighed. "Alright. Cas - can you make it so we're sure there isn't a demon spying on us?"
"Of course, Dean." Cas waved his hand, and...nothing happened.
We all glanced around the room, not sure what we were looking for. Cas actually rolled his eyes. "You can't see the wards, but they're there. Trust me."
Dean snorted at that, but nodded anyway and kept talking. "Okay...so Sam and I came up with a plan on the drive here." He leaned forward, elbows on knees, and sported a look that told everyone in the area that the fugly he was hunting was soooo dead. "I worked out a deal with Crowley." He held up a hand to shut me up, and all I did was raise an eyebrow. "Lemme finish. Crowley fucked with us for the last time. So I agreed to stop the trials and hand over the demon tablet in exchange for the angel tablet. But when we go to make the deal, we're gonna capture him, and use him for the third trial."
He leaned back, a shit-eating grin on his face, waiting for the praise to come rolling in.
"How will you capture him, Dean?" Cas asked. "Just putting him in a Devil's Trap won't be enough to move him to consecrated ground."
Sam cleared his throat. "We thought about that. Apparently, Dean raided our dungeon some time after we discovered it."
"You...have a dungeon?" Jody asked incredulously.
Dean grinned at her. "It's fucking awesome!"
Sam rolled his eyes. "Anyway. We have cuffs with spells and wards carved into them that will make Crowley completely powerless. We can move him as long as the cuffs stay on."
"So, meet up for the deal, somehow get close enough to snap the cuffs on, and then we have us a demon to cure." I rocked my head from side to side, weighing the facets of this plan.
Fuck me, it was good.
I nodded at them. "I like it!"
Dean waggled his eyebrows back. "Thought you would. He wants all three of us to sign it, because he doesn't trust that if only one of us agrees, the other two won't restart the trials. So we all need to be there anyway, which is good, just in case."
I faltered at that one. "Uh...I'm...not gonna be a whole lot of help, if something goes wrong."
Now Dean rolled his eyes. "It'll be fine. Trust me."
And last but not least, I rolled my eyes.
Jody refilled everyone's mug with fresh coffee. "So all you need is consecrated ground to perform this trial, right?"
Dean nodded. "Yeah. Something out of the way, preferably abandoned so we don't have to worry about being interrupted."
Jody sat down, coffee pot still in her hand. "Does it really have to be abandoned? I mean, could it be just...not really used a lot?"
Sam and Dean exchanged a glance. "It'd be easier if the chance of running into someone was zero," Dean explained. "We're gonna be injecting blood into the King of Hell. Not the kind of thing for tourists."
Jody pursed her lips and set the coffee pot on the table. "There's a church in Lake County, just a little north of Madison. It's an old Catholic church, built back in the 1800's. It's still active, but hardly no one goes there anymore. There's a shrine that was added on in the forties - sort of like a little chapel. It's separate, out in the back, and has an altar in it. That means the ground is consecrated, right?"
"Wait," I said, memories of my old life slowly floated by. "Up past Madison? On Route eighty-one?"
"Yeah," she replied.
"That's...that's where Bobby got married." I turned toward Sam and Dean. "St. Ann's Church. I know the shrine-chapel thing she's talking about. There's a cemetery, the whole property is lined with huge pine trees... " I swallowed back thoughts of Bobby. "It'd be perfect, if it's really available."
Dean's eyes were a little wide.
"What?" I asked.
"How'd you know where Bobby got married?"
I huffed, shaking my head a little. "Dude, come on. The man raised me while Dad kept you two on the road. I know pretty much everything about him."
At Bobby's name, Jody's whole demeanor shifted. She scooted back in her chair, swallowed a couple times, even ran a trembling hand through her hair. Before I could say anything else, she quickly got up, mumbling something about the dishwasher, and left the room.
Ohhhh...shit...Jody and Bobby? Mouth slightly open, I looked at Dean. "I didn't know…"
Dean shook his head, pulling on his chin. "Don't worry about it. Bigger fish. Okay, so we have the site, we have the cuffs."
"We don't have the syringes or the instructions. So we have to get them before doing anything." Sam brushed his hair back, and sighed. "Why don't we sign the deal at Bobby's? There's...stuff there in case we need it, and it won't be a long drive to the site afterwards."
Dean nodded. "Good idea." He pulled out his phone and stared at it. "I'll set it up. Be right back." He dragged himself to his feet, and stepped outside.
I sagged back against the couch, losing myself in a throbbing headache. I yelped when something cold pressed against my head. Apparently, I closed my eyes at some point.
Sam pulled back, hands up in surrender, one of them clutching an ice pack. "Thought you could use this."
I wet my lips real quick, simultaneously missing bitter cranberry juice and feeling nauseous at the thought of the dark red stuff. "Yeah...thanks," I...croaked? Oy, that wasn't good.
I leaned forward as he held the ice to the back of my neck, the other hand rubbing up and down my back. "You passed out for a few minutes...why didn't you tell me your head hurt?"
Unable to stop myself, I tilted my head at him and sassed, "Probably because I was passed out for a few minutes." I was rewarded with a classic SamFace. Snickering, I closed my eyes and massaged my temples. "Bitchy McBitcherson. I love that face."
Sam breathed a laugh, ducking his head and shaking it from side to side.
Wait...something was missing. Peeling open my eyes, and I mean peeled, because I was so tired, I looked around the room. "Where's Cas?"
Sam snorted. "He excused himself and stepped out back. He's acting really weird."
I raised an eyebrow. "Controlled by Heaven weird?"
He shook his head, adjusting the ice so it was in a new spot where it felt sooooo awesome. "Mysterious weird. Evasive weird. Gonna piss Dean off weird."
"Hmmm...that's no good."
"Not even a little."
The front door opened, and in came Dean, frowning at his phone, looking like he wanted to throw it against the wall.
"So what happened?" Sam asked, taking away the ice when I sat up to hear the news. Jody walked back in the room, arms folded across her chest, face all serious.
"Well, deal's set for tomorrow, late morning. I told him Kate needed some recovery time, and if he wanted her to sign the deal, she had to be well enough to do it."
I raised an eyebrow. "He bought that?"
Dean nodded, chuckling. "Yup. I told him we wanted to do the deal at Bobby's, for our sense of, get this, closure. I used the word closure."
Jody made a puzzled face. "Closure for what?"
Dean gestured with his hand. "No fucking clue. But he found meaning in it, so that makes it better."
Sam took a moment, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. "So we have until tomorrow, late morning, to get everything from the Bunker, get to Bobby's, and get set up."
My eyes were too heavy to keep open. So I stopped trying. They didn't need me to make the plan. I just needed to do whatever they told me to do.
"Kate…?"
Oh, hey...that's me. "Hmmm?"
"Uh...do you wanna go back to the Bunker with us?"
Oh.
That question hung there, nice and thick. Unspoken part of it: for the last time. Part of me was all, hell yes, I wanna go back. Look everything over, see my room, my stuff, say goodbye *choke* to Kevin.
But then I thought...what's the point? Did I need to travel twelve hours for a complete and utter downer?
No, thank you.
"Um...no. If it's okay with Jody, I'd...I'd rather wait here."
Not only did the question hang thick in the air, my answer did as well. Thicker, actually, if that was possible.
"Oh...okay." Sam sounded disappointed. I didn't have any energy to explain.
But I did have energy to make him feel better. "I feel like shit, Sam. Don't think I can make the drive."
"Oh...okay." That was better.
Next thing I knew, Jody was talking to one or both of them. I must've passed back out again.
" - not bad, you're just...different."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Dean, she doesn't mean it as a bad thing."
"I know that, but I don't see how I'm different, that's all."
"I dunno, Dean, you guys just seem more...gentle. Caring."
"Gentle and caring? That's not me, Jody."
She laughed. "Well, it is now."
I phased out right there, resurfacing when Sam gently shook my shoulder. "Yeah…?"
"Hey...we're leaving. We'll be back as soon as we can. Hang in there, okay?"
Nodding, I went back to sleep.
xxxxx
If my math was correct, it should've taken them about thirteen hours to return. With Dean driving, and an anxious-ridden brother as his co-pilot, I banked on eleven hours.
But I had no fucking clue what time it was, how long they'd been gone, and sometimes, where I was.
I was getting worse, by the hour. Or minute. Or by the some time passing. Things.
Disjointed thoughts kept flashing through my head, grounded only by cool clothes and ice packs. This sort of peaceful calm settled over me. Not the fake calm I'd been walking around with for months. This was the real thing.
I had my night with Sam. I had my moment with Dean. I could say goodbye to Kevin on the phone. Jody...had no relationship to me, here, so no worries there. And Cas...was Cas. He was an angel, and I'd probably be more likely to see him again regardless.
So I was good. My other family was gone, right? They were probably dead. My Cas was probably dead. Everyone else here was dead. After Sam and Dean, there was no one and nothing. They'd have each other, they could make it with each other, and I was absolutely awesome with that.
"Hey...want some water? You need to stay hydrated." Jody crouched in front of me, holding out a glass of water, desperately trying to cajole me into drinking.
She didn't understand. "Can't swallow it. Thanks, though."
She sighed, rocking back on her heels and standing up. The urge to mother me was palpable. Jody didn't understand that, either. Never had a mother. Just a Bobby. And a Dean.
I wet my lips, making a face at how dry they were. I slowly sat up, blinking to clear the cobwebs. "They back yet?"
The words weren't fully out of my mouth when I heard Baby pull into the driveway. A small smile hit my lips. "And there they are."
They walked in, Dean's agitation expressed through his clipped tone. "I mean it, Cas. I need to know you're in. You can't...you can't just zap out of there when we need you most because someone else wanted your attention."
Ouch.
Sam sighed, and I expected him to scold Dean. Instead, "He's right, Cas. There's too much riding on this. We don't...we don't know what to expect, and we need everyone ready in case...well, just in case."
I squinted up at a very blurry Castiel, who didn't even look chastised at all. He heard the message loud and clear, agreeing with it one hundred percent. "I understand. You have my word."
Sam came over and sat down. "We're back…" I rolled my eyes. "How're you doing?"
"Peachy. How's Kevin?" Sam was blurry, too. Why's everyone...oh. Losing vision, too.
Hooray…
Well, even blind, I could stab Crowley in the neck.
Watch me.
"He's okay. Scared and, uh, sad, but okay. We called Charlie and had her go to the Bunker and wait it out there. That way they're both safe and together."
Just in case.
I nodded, still trying to clear the cobwebs by blinking, because I was pretty sure I read somewhere that blinking does that. Or makes you think it does it.
"Kate?"
Oh hey, Dean's fuzzy around the edges. Nice. "Yep, I'm here and ready to stab a bitch. Let's go."
I started getting up, and Sam's seriously large hands gently pushed me back. A smile tugged on the corners of his mouth. "Hold on a sec. we have a few things to wrap up then we'll head to Bobby's."
The guys puttered around the house, talking with Jody in the kitchen with those soft voices that adults only use when they don't want kids to hear what they're saying.
But I knew what they were saying.
Castiel sat next to me, eyes searching mine. He held up a hand. May I?
Help yourself, Champ.
He lightly touched my cheek, and I shivered as the cobwebs cleared and I was able to focus.
"Holy shit…"
He removed his hand only to clasp his together. "I will try to help you as much as possible. I sense your struggle. I'm...I'm so sorry."
I shook my head, loving how I could think clearly. "It's okay, Cas, it really is. This is bigger than me."
He sadly tilted his head to the side. "That seems to be the way with your family. Destined for great things, the prophecies predicted."
Snorting, I rolled my eyes. "I dunno about great things. My existence caused all your prophecies to implode."
"Prophecies deviate all the time. It doesn't change the essence, which is that your family is special, full of honorable, good people, who save the world with none the wiser except for a select few."
"Yeah…" That's all I had at the moment, so Cas let me be, patting the top of my head in what I suspect was an attempt at affection.
Dean and Sam came back in the room, Dean juggling his keys from hand to hand. "Okay, people, let's get going."
I gave Jody a hug, ignoring how hard she tried not to cry. The three of us climbed into the Impala, and headed to Bobby's.
xxxxx
I was pretty sure that dying was preferable to seeing Bobby's yard dilapidated. We parked near the house, and it took everything in me not to fall on my knees and just die right there.
Weeds overran the grounds, sprouting between cars, parts, all over the garages and the porch. Heaps of rusting metal littered the yard, lonely and abandoned for well over a year. The house itself was intact, although paint peeled from a hundred different spots, not to mention the porch was seriously in need of some care.
The porch...where I've sat with Bobby and my family for almost two decades.
Swallowing hard, I slowly exited the Impala, drinking in the sight before me, while also trying to not have this be the last image of my home.
My real home.
I started babbling almost immediately, needing to talk in order to keep my sanity. "Months before I left, around when we found Adam, Dad and Bobby signed papers and stuff so this was officially our collective home. I guess Dad had money stashed away or maybe it was his military retirement accounts, I dunno, but he handed it over to Bobby to pay off the house." I walked towards the porch, imagining things the way they were.
The way they should be. Dean and Sam kept quiet, knowing that I needed to do this.
"I think Dad knew it wasn't fair to Bobby, you know? I had a room here because I was here so much as a kid." I pointed to the end window on the second floor. "That one, there. You guys shared one across the hall, and Adam had the really small room on the end." I glanced at them, and caught them sharing a look. They knew the rooms I was talking about. Nodding, I kept going. "When I first came here, I remember being so fucking scared." I gestured at Sam, smiling a little. "You came bouncing out of the house so fast you almost flipped over the railing."
Sam smiled back, hands in his pockets, looking dangerously close to crying. Dean shuffled his feet in the dirt, pointedly avoiding eye contact.
Sighing, I laid a hand against the porch railing, feeling the paint flake between my fingers.
"Well, well, well. This is so touching. Really. If I gave a shit, I'd cry right along with you. But riiiiiight, I don't give a shit."
We all whipped around. Crowley stood not ten feet from the Impala, a scroll tucked under one arm and a smug smirk on his face. His eyes were locked onto to mine. "So, are we done strolling arm in arm down memory lane? I believe we have a deal to sign." Without shifting his gaze away from me, he grabbed the scroll and pointed it at me. "So you're the bitch who killed my bitch." He craned his neck, making a show of checking me over. "Not impressive for a Winchester."
"Still managed to kill her, though."
His lips parted, and he smiled with appreciation. He turned to Dean. "I like her already. So much like her brothers."
"Enough, Crowley. Where's the angel tablet?"
"Where's the demon tablet? Look, I'll show you mine, you show me yours, and we'll have a lovely party."
"Where's the deal? I wanna read it." Sam took a step closer to me, hands slowly leaving their pockets.
"Of course, Sam. Ever the lawyer, right?" He waved the scroll at him. "Don't forget the fine print." Crowley tossed it over, then folded his arms.
Sam deftly caught it, untied the blood red ribbon, and almost gasped when the parchment unrolled, and kept unrolling, until it hit the ground. He glared at Crowley, who just shrugged back. "What? A boy needs to dot his I's."
Dean walked over, sparing an ugly look at Crowley before holding part of the paper and reading alongside Sam. I just stood there, knowing that I couldn't focus on the words enough for them to make sense.
After a couple minutes, Sam's face wrinkled up. "What is it, Sammy?" Dean asked.
Sam pointed to something on the paper, and whispered in Dean's ear. Dean nodded back, his eyebrows raising. Crowley unfolded his arms. "What?"
Dean's eyes flickered to him. "Hold on."
Crowley rolled his eyes and huffed back, shifting his weight to his other foot, looking impatient and not at all smug.
Sam jabbed a finger at the paper again, whispering to Dean. "Alright. Enough of that. What's the problem?" Crowley snapped.
Dean and Sam shared a look. Sam shrugged, handing Dean the scroll, putting his hands back in his pockets. Dean dragged a hand down his face, wet his lips and walked over to Crowley, who already had his hands outstretched to take the parchment. "It's this clause right here…where it says you're one dumb motherfucker." Dean snapped the spell-woven cuffs on Crowley's wrists, stepping back and pulling the demon knife from his waistband.
The parchment fluttered to the ground. Crowley stared at the cuffs with disdain. "Really? Dimestore handcuffs? That's so...beneath you. I - " He pulled and tugged, frowning when he was unable to break free. He shot a murderous look at Dean. "What is this?"
Sam sauntered up, hands free and ready. "Those cuffs are carved with all sorts of magic, Crowley. Not to mention four types of Devil's traps. Strong enough for the King of Hell."
Crowley spat, "You'll never hold me. I'll have a hundred demons here within the minute."
On cue, Castiel appeared, slapping a large piece of duct tape across Crowley's mouth, a Devil's Trap drawn on it with a red Sharpie. "And I'll have a hundred angels here the second after. No, I think it's time for you to just shut up, and let Dean give you your medicine."
We all blinked at him. Even Crowley looked confused.
Cas stared back. "What? Isn't that the saying?"
Dean shook his head. "Close enough, man. Close enough."
