The ride had been full of Trevor mostly seething. He gripped the steering wheel tightly. Upon getting to the trailer, we were both kicked out and left outside as Trevor drove off. Ron dragged me inside, shutting the door behind him. I sighed loudly, laying down on the futon. I closed my eyes. The sounds of crickets, the wind against the trailer, Ron had moved to the table to fiddle with a radio; it was hard to forget where I was.
"Lily." Ron called out to me. Opening my eyes and looking in his direction curiously, I asked,
"What?"
"Think you have something next to you." With my body freezing up quickly, I glanced to my right to see a cockroach, just hanging out next to me. I screamed loudly and quickly ran to the other side of the room, back up against the wall.
"Get rid of it!" I yelled.
"What's wrong with one bug?"
"That thing is fucking disgusting and I will straight up walk out of this trailer if you do not do something!" Ron stood up, exasperated and picked up the cockroach. A shiver ran down my spine. I noticed fairly quickly that it didn't move upon Ron picking it up. Out of confusion, I stopped pressing myself up against the wall. Ron took the opportunity to chuck it at me. I screamed again, and curled up against the wall. As the bug hit my arm, I felt the panic leave me. While weight frightened me at first, it was a lot lighter than I thought. As it lied on the floor in the front of me, I saw the back of the bug didn't shine like it usually would. Approaching it slowly and cautiously, I came to the quick conclusion that it was a fake, plastic bug. And that I was going to kill Ron. Looking up at Ron, who was covering his mouth and trying to hide his facial expression, I spoke quietly,
"Ron. Why do you have a fake bug?" I kept my focus on him.
"What do you mean? That's not a real one?" He is absolute shit at lying. He put his hand down, he was clearly trying not to grin.
"Are you fucking kidding me? You want to start this shit again?!" My brows began to furrow. Ron's began to do the same.
"What shit do you think I'm starting? I'm just asking you a question!"
"Oh sure! Acting so concerned!" I stated sarcastically. "You are walking right into some shit if you wanna do this!" He and I were now just a few steps apart, glaring at each other, and fists clenched.
"Oh please! What could you possible do to me that you haven't already done?! You already broke my knee!"
"And I'll break it again motherfucker! You are on!"
Man, this isn't going to end well.
After the yelling match Ron and I had, I ended up going to Trevor's room and slamming the door. I originally was going to sit on the bed, but a piece of me still didn't trust it. His room was still a bit messy for neither of us actually being here. Ron banged on the door.
"I'm not going to break this door down, but you better open it!"
"No! This room is messy so I'm going to clean it!" A loud groan could be heard on the other side of the door.
"You can clean and keep the door open!"
"The mess is behind the door, so you'll just have to wait." I began to pick up the few clothes off the floor, separating, putting some on hangers and others in a basket. I could hear Ron tapping his finger against the door.
"Open up Lily." I didn't reply. Keeping quiet, and not moving, I looked around quickly. Nowhere really to hide, but… under the bed. I grimaced, but I did want to scare him a little. I quickly scooted under the bed. It was a little dusty, but I had cleaned it the last time I was here, so it wasn't absolutely terrible.
"Lily?" Ron sounded more worried. I heard the door open, frantic footsteps in front of the bed, the opening of the closet, and then silence as Ron stood in the middle of the room, looking around panicked.
"Come on Lily! Stop messing around! This isn't cool!" "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" Ron left the room, and after hearing the front door close, I quickly got out from under the bed, straightened my clothes and hair and went back to cleaning. An idea came quickly to me and I yelled,
"Ron?" I walked around the trailer. "Roooon!" Footsteps running up and into the trailer. Ron busted in, sweaty, eyes red and a crazed look on his face.
"Where did you go?" I asked, concerned and serious look on my face.
"What do you- Where did you go?!" Ron responded angrily.
"What are you talking about? I've been here the whole time." I responded calmly. Ron looked around quickly, walked into the bedroom, and then walked back out.
"I-I-I-I was sure you weren't here. You were gone. I'm sure of it."
"See this is what happens when you get high off your own supply." I mocked.
"I am not! I am a professional! And I know for a fact you weren't here!" Through gritted teeth, he practically spit at me.
"And I'm telling you, I was here!" I yelled back. We glared at each other.
"Fine, fine." Ron said. "I'm going to keep a close watch on you."
"You do that. I don't give a fuck." I crossed my arms across my chest.
Oh this is going to be fun.
For the next few days, Ron and I went back and forth getting back at each other. He kept putting those fucking fake bugs everywhere. I hadn't eaten in two days because of it. He kept putting them next to and in my food, one time he put it in a glass of milk I had and the final straw was when he put it on my face when I was sleeping. My immediate thought was to kill him, but decided there was an easier revenge.
3:00 a.m, I got up gently. Ron snored loudly against the front door. He was seated strangely on the chair; the nape of his neck resting on the top of the chair, arms and hands hanging downwards and his legs in a weird open position. I never noticed how he slept normally but it was already hilarious seeing him seated like that. Carefully opening a kitchen drawer, the plastic wrap came into view. Ron always made a fuss about dishes, so I cooked every other day and forced him to buy me plastic wrap to keep leftovers fresh. Lifting it up, I closed the drawer and turned towards Ron. I just had to set this up just right.
I woke up to an incredibly loud scream. I jumped up, confused and heart beating so loudly in my chest I thought it was going to pop out. Upon seeing Ron, a loud hearty laugh came out. I had wrapped Ron not only to his chair, but to the door. His arms and legs were trapped in plastic mess and as he struggled, the plastic wrap tugged tightly against his limbs. Ron shot me a glare that would have normally frightened anyone else, but it was so funny seeing him stuck in plastic wrap that it lost any danger it had.
"Get me out of this! Now!" Ron shouted.
"After breakfast. I am super hungry and you keep putting fucking bugs everywhere so now, I'm going to enjoy a meal in peace."
"I hate you so much right now!"
"Awww! I hate you too! Don't worry, I'll free you when I'm done eating. And if you're good, you'll get some too."
After freeing Ron, he angrily asked for breakfast. I hadn't tried to leave, I simply ate breakfast in front of him, talking about every detail and making fun of him.
"You are seriously asking for it!"
"That's what you get for the bug thing! Fuckin' try me!" We were once again in a standoff. Both of our chests were puffed up, backs up straight, fists almost ready to punch someone's lights out as we stood defiantly against one another.
This motherfucker is going down.
Ron was the one to make the next move. I had decided to take a nice long shower. It was pretty cold with the evening air, the wind blowing through the little cracks in the trailer and the rain that gently tapped on the roof. The running water on my shoulders and back was the only comfort I had out here. I thought of my family, my friends, and school. I wondered how everyone was, what they were doing, thinking of, if they were thinking of me or if they had all given up. I wouldn't blame anyone who did. It was almost a year since I had been initially kidnapped and trapped here by Trevor. A lot had happened, and this was the first time in a long time, where I finally had some peace and thought of my family. My parents were probably worried sick if anything. I wasn't too sure of my brother; he was a busy person with many things to do and to think about, so I wouldn't blame him if he didn't even notice. He was running his own life and should focus on it, with all of the issues that he already had, me being taken was the last thing he should think about. My roommates probably were wondering if they could even afford rent. The place we were living at was expensive and it was the only place that was close to affordable and to the university. I loved it there with them, and we had many nights where we would just stay up and talk about life. I was sure right now, they were focused on finals. I was probably was the last thing on their minds, but I kind of hoped people wouldn't forget, or think I was dead.
Turning off the shower and drying off, I continued to think about what I was going to do when I got home. If the government had already taken me off any type of missing persons list and even stopped looking for me, who knows what kind of bells would be rung if I ran from here. It would be difficult to even get around if Trevor had some type of government goonie under his thumb tracking me. Maybe that's who the man with the cane was; someone who was so smart but so weak that Trevor had manipulated them to becoming a part of his 'work.' If I left, who knows how quickly or how long it would take them to find me. Putting on my clothes, I continued my train of thought. I need to think of a point A and a point B. If I can get to my university, and my apartment, I could change how I looked. I usually wore glasses but as an emergency I had contacts. Who knows if they would still be good though? How long did those things last? The next thing would be a change of clothes. One of the roomies could dye hair, maybe that would work. But I'd have to work incredibly fast, in and out. Maybe go in, get rid of the glasses and then change clothes. I didn't have many apart from the ones Trevor had given me, so I'd be able to blend in pretty easily with different clothes. I'd have to grab a backpack and then headout, flow in with the crowd on the busses and head onto the train station again. Where I lived didn't have many places to go and the only way out was the trains. If I were hop on one and head north, maybe I should go where they think I would go, but think I was too smart to go into something so obvious and therefore head east. That might be able to trip them out, long enough for me to get over the Canadian border.
I heard knocking on the door.
"Yeah?"
"You done yet? You've been in there forever and I'm hungry!"
"I'm coming out now." I heard Ron shuffle away from the door. I sighed loudly and then walked out, before coming to an immediate halt. In front of me were containers, bowls, pots, pans and cups filled with water and a white powder.
"Ron?"
"Hmmm?"
"What the fuck?"
"Oh, well you see, I'm kind of in the middle of an experiment. It's this thing I found on the internet that is supposed to help detect whether or not government men, lizards or aliens are coming through the doors at night. So you use water and flour, because it confuses them."
"Ron?"
"Yeah?"
"You sleep in front of the door."
"Well you never know!"
"Oh I fucking know! I'm just going to assume that you just wanted to make a goddamn mess." I picked up a bowl of flour. Are you kidding me? Ron quickly came over, stepping gently over the dishes and flipped the bowl towards me, covering me in the substance. Furrowing my brow, I quickly grabbed a cup of water and dumped it on him. It became an all out war of throwing flour and water at each other. Clumps were all over the furniture and counters, some I was sure on the ceiling but mostly on each other. Some of the plastic dishes I was able to throw at him, but the glass ones I had to be careful. Although he showed no hesitation to put them carelessly aside almost dropping them on the floor. Near the end of it, we started throwing clumps at each until both of us slipped on the floor. I sat up and looked around at the mess we caused. It was such a disgusting mess, but at the same time kind of funny. I burst into laughter as I looked at Ron, clumps of the mix in his hair, flour on his face and drenched clothes. I heard him laugh as well, I'm sure I looked just as ridiculous. My stomach began to ache as I laughed harder.
As the laughing died down, I stood up slowly, trying not to slip. Sighing, I turned towards Ron and stated,
"Well, I gotta clean this up."
"I'll help."
It took four hours to clean it out of the futon, counters, floor and everything else in between. The last thing was to retake a shower. Looking at each other, Ron had to make a decision.
"I have an idea but you aren't going to like it." Ron said confidently.
"Okay?"
"You take your shower first and then I'll tell you."
"Fine?" Unsure and curious of his solution, I took my shower first. It was awful to say the least. I had tried to take out as many of the clumps as I could and the flour off my face so it wouldn't get stuck in the shower drain, but there was so much more in my hair that it still kind of clogged the drain. When I finally came out of the bathroom, Ron stood up from leaning on the counter.
"Okay, what's this idea?"
"Sit on the futon." Following his orders, I sat down. He walked over, grabbed my wrist and put a handcuff on, putting the other on the futon arm.
"Ron!" I looked disapprovingly down at the handcuff and back at him.
"I have to make sure you won't run! Anyways, just hang out."
"Ron!" Ron grabbed a bundle of clothes he had left on a chair and headed into the bathroom.
"I'll be right out!" He called as he closed the door behind him. Goddamnit Ron. Groaning, I leaned back and got comfortable.
Great. Guess I gotta wait.
At the same time of all this madness, Trevor was calling in the evenings. The first night, he seemed very tired. Ron had reluctantly given me his phone.
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hey Lily. It's Trevor."
"Hey Trevor. You sound like you need coffee." I turned towards Ron, phone in hand. Ron grabbed a cup and handed it to me. I went and pour coffee into it and handed it back.
"Yeah, sure. That's what I would need."
"What's up?" I tried to sound casual.
"Just checking up on you and Ron. Need to make sure you aren't killing each other." I laughed.
"No, we haven't killed each other." We're getting close though.
"Alright, hand the phone back to Ron."
"Okay. Bye Trevor."
"Bye Lily." While the conversation had been short, it was if he was actually in the trailer. Him checking on us didn't make it all the easier. After a few more days, it seemed like things were getting worst for him, and the times he would call became more infrequent. Ron, after each call, was begging me to keep trying to cheer him up. I understood Ron was worried about him, and at the same time, I was beginning to get increasingly worried about both of them. Ron was becoming more and more concerned, worried and crazed anytime he heard Trevor's voice or name. He kept telling Trevor how much he missed him; I'm sure though that he was easily getting dismissed. Ron slept at the front door, and kept waking up, yelling his name. Trevor sounded more and more tired, like he had been dragged through dirt. His voice became less aggressive and enthusiastic. The calls became longer and most of it was spent with us in silence, just waiting for someone to break it.
"Sorry for calling so late." He sounded more upset than the day before.
"It's okay." I yawned in between my words. "How are you?"
"I could be better. Things are going into hardcore shit on this side." I frowned.
"Oh?"
"Yeah, and I have no goddamn control of the situation. I feel…." Trevor trailed off. I knew what Ron had said. I didn't want to do anything that would make Trevor think I was going to pick him up from the hole he was in, only to put him back into it. But I needed to do something or the current situation with Ron would get worse.
"Hey." I broke the silence.
"What's up?" Trevor's tone changed.
"When… When are you coming home?" Trevor chuckled.
"You sound like Ron."
"Oh what? Forget that mess. I'm just wondering. You know Ron isn't thaaaat interesting. You certainly have more character, personality than he does."
"Oh? Has my manly charm become more appealing?" I laughed.
"Who said it was about your so called manly charm. Maybe I just enjoy your company. Maybe things are better when you're here rather than seeing Ron's sad face 24/7." Trevor cackled loudly.
"Well, maybe me being there does break people's spirits. I know my particular energy and personality brings out the best in people and lifts people's spirits. It's totally fine, if you want to admit you're attracted to me while you're at it. I need the boost right now."
"Ha! I can boost your ego, but not that much. Like I said, it's going to take a lot more than manly charm and looks to sweep me off my feet."
"Hey, I can't do the first thing you said, but maaybe I can do something else?"
"Like what?"
"That's what I'm asking you." His voice was low, husky and something else that I couldn't exactly pinpoint. "You know, I have this feeling that you have a crush on me. I see the way you look at me and then look away. Don't think I don't catch you staring at me. I'm pretty sure there's something there." I laughed again.
"I'd like to formally inform you that as your hostage, formal prisoner, enforced and entrapped guest, there is nothing there."
"Oh so you staring at my face is just nothing?"
"Don't know what you're talking about. You have got a scary lookin' face."
"Ha, not as scary as some people's."
"Ron's without coffee is like that, Trevor." I caught myself. I turned towards Ron who handed me a screwdriver. We both looked down at it and then at each other. I grabbed the mug Ron had been drinking out of, filled it and handed it back.
"I think you're wrong on the Ron thing. His face is more sad and weak if anything."
"Sure sure. How would you describe your own face?"
"Hmmm, tough but gentle when I let my sensitive side out and about, which I'm sure the ladies absolutely love." I coughed, trying to stop laughing.
"Whatever you say, not going to argue with that."
"What, you wanna argue?"
"No, no. I'm just saying that… those ladies have some interesting tastes."
"Good tastes. I'm the best that you can get." It was getting harder not to laugh.
"For some women that maybe true…"
"Oh you think there's someone better than me?"
"You mean at what you do or…?"
"I mean everything." There was a low growl that came out of the phone.
"I'm just saying that everyone's tastes are different. I can certainly be the one to tell you that my tastes are different than theirs." There was a quick pause between us.
"Are you trying to manipulate me?" His voice sounded unsure, almost shakey.
"No." I said firmly. "That's why I'm not flirting with you back. Merely making conversation. I told you before I wouldn't do that."
"What if you change your mind on how you feel?" I could almost imagine his pained face as he said those words. "My feelings… the way I feel about a woman is stronger than what any other man is going to feel. So when I say, I'm in falling in love with you, I mean it. I'm not screwing around, my heart and mind have already been chewed up and thrown up before. My feelings for you are real, the realest that anything can get. I'm not trying to manipulate you. I mean what I say, that I am falling in love with you." My heart stopped. My mind in the midst of confusion went silent, blank on anything to retort or say. "You still there?" My mind came back to me, a flood of thoughts whiplashed and anything I could have said was out the window.
"Yeah. I'm… I'm just soaking in what you're saying."
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean is… I'm not just going to hear what you say. I am listening to what you say and how you feel about me. I don't know if I'll change my mind, don't know if I could, but I can tell you right now that if that were to ever happen, I would tell you. I'm not stringing you along and I hope you understand that. My feelings right now are pretty clear and I don't want you to think otherwise. You feel, how you feel. I can't control that. It's strange that you would fall in love with me even though I'm still your hostage, you know how I feel and you don't really know anything about me."
"That's the beauty of it. You are… you're not some hot shot, not some snobby plastic person, idiot vegan hippie or hipster or someone out to manipulate the masses. You're this kind person, who won't and hasn't taken advantage of my feelings. You're gorgeous and patient and, and, just this amazing cook and person. There's really no way to describe how amazing you are, or why I'm falling in love with you. It's simple and it's complicated." There was something about his words that kept trying to drag me in, believe in this short facade of the type of person he liked to show only those he wanted to manipulate. I almost wanted to believe it, but at the same time, I had a goal, a life beyond this small trailer in Sandy Shores, San Andreas.
"I'm not sure what to say. But thank you for telling me, and try to explain it to me." Trevor paused.
"Thank you for understanding. I guess I'll let you go. Ron must be hopping on one foot at a time to talk to me."
"You wouldn't be too far off the mark." I laughed.
"Bye Lily."
"Bye."
"I love you." I froze, phone in hand and Ron looking at me, waiting for me to pass it over. "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to let you know."
"Okay." It came out quiet, almost difficult to hear. I quickly handed the phone to Ron.
I am fucked.
