Title: My Heart Cries for you
Author: Trista Groulx aka dustytiger
ating: T (same as the show)
Disclaimer: I am remain poor and don't own NCIS it belongs to it's creator, network, writers, actors and actresses who bring it to life weekly.
Summary: Tony is diagnosed with leukemia and needs to rely on his family for support.
Notes: Tony faces something he hasn't one is a little heavy, possibly inspired from some great plotting sessions with my friend Jen. Please let me know you're still with me. This one is a little different for me.
It was a few weeks before Tony was going back to work when he decided they should visit his father like they had agreed to do. He had never brought anyone to New York to see where he grew up before but he knew it was well past time that he brought her; he had after all he had seen where she had grown up however briefly. After they'd landed he'd rented a car, and before he headed to his father's he wanted to bring her somewhere he hadn't been in years. She didn't say anything as they pulled into a cemetery, knowing that he needed to do this. He parked and when they got out of the car she took his hand, he smiled at her.
"I've never wanted to bring anyone here before," he explained.
"I am glad I am the first," she told him.
They walked through the cemetery until he found what he was looking for, a simple grave stone which read "Alison Paddington-DiNozzo beloved wife and devoted mother." He sighed softly, tears in his eyes. She pulled him into a hug. He sighed softly glad to have her close but still trying to keep his emotions in cheque. She kissed his cheek softly and he held her a few minutes more. He took a deep breath needing to centre himself. He had brought a bouquet of blue tulips, which had been her favourite she had even had them in her wedding photos, in front of the grave marker, and bowed his head. Ziva bowed her head as well both saying a silent prayer.
"Hi Mom, I know I don't come as often as I should. I miss you so much," he said, squeezing Ziva's hand. "I want you to meet someone, I wish I could really introduce you. This is Ziva, she's my wife. You'd love her." There were tears in his eyes again, and this time they fell down his cheeks. "It's not fair I wasn't ready for you to go."
Ziva hugged him. "Tony I am here for you."
"Thank you Zi. She was with me through everything Mom, even when I'd tell her to leave she'd stay. She's good for me Mom. I wish you would have had the same chance as I had."
Ziva could feel tears welling up in her own eyes as he spoke to his mother. She had been taught a lot of things about heaven growing up. She had seen her fair share of death even when she was young, but seeing Tony like that was overwhelming. He had his guard completely down letting her see and feel his pain in a way she knew he had never let anyone see before; not even his father.
As she stood with him she could almost picture the young Tony being at the funeral, afraid to cry, and not understanding what was going on. She couldn't have imagined what it must have been like to feel like that being so young. He pulled her into his arms, and it took her a moment to realise he'd started to cry. She rubbed his back to help reassure and comfort him, not sure what else to do for him at that moment.
"Zi, I'm sorry," he whispered, hiding his tear stained face from her.
"Do not apologise for how you feel Tony, you never have to with me," she assured him.
"Thank you," he whispered.
She had never heard his voice sound so small. She knew that what he was feeling had been bottled up in in him for a long time and she wanted to help him get it out. She knew he needed to deal with all of those feelings he'd had to keep inside for so long to help him to fully heal from what had just happened to him. She knew there was a part of him that still felt guilty about surviving something his mother hadn't. She wanted him to know she would always be there for him like she had promised.
"Is it okay to miss her?" Tony asked.
She kissed his cheek softly. "Yes, it is, there are times I miss Tali, my mother, even my father despite everything, it's perfectly normal. You just went through something very difficult which had you thinking about how you lost her, and I know there were times where you weren't sure if you'd survive either."
He nodded. "I'm lucky to have you by my side. See Mom, she's amazing."
"Tony," she protested.
"I know you don't like me saying that stuff but you are amazing to me, you always will be."
They stayed a little while longer at the cemetery, she wanted to be sure he had done what he needed to do there. He hugged her tightly, then kissed her cheek after a while. He then took her hand and they went back toward the car. He gave her the keys, too emotionally drained to want to drive. She took them and they got into the car. As soon as she had put on her seat belt she reached out for his hand. He squeezed it, and smiled at her for a moment, before more tears fell down his cheeks, wanting to get it all out before he went to his father's. She didn't know what to do for him, so she held his hand, and let him get everything out before she started the car to visit his father. They were both looking forward to seeing him as well as showing her where he grew up, but they were both a little worried about how hard this would be on him. He knew it was well past time for him to deal with these feelings and to take that step with his father but he knew it wouldn't be easy and he was glad he had her by his side to help him heal, and move forward.
Notes: So that was that, Senior will be in the next part I promise. Keep the kind words coming guys. I really hope I made this work.
