Title: knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend

Fandom: DCU animated/Avengers movieverse

Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Donne

Warnings: Discussion of death/violence/torture – basically, everything Red Hood and Winter Soldier's respective backstories has.

Pairings: Jimmy/Jason

Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1155

Point of view: third

Prompt: DCU, Dick Grayson, there is always more to break

Note: The only Robins I'm at all familiar with are Dick, Jason, and Tim so the rest won't be in this 'verse.


"When will you be satisfied?" Jimmy asks after another confrontation with Batman.

"I don't know," Jason finally replies, icing his right shoulder. He doesn't look up at Jimmy, can't bear to see whatever expression is on his face. "I just… I don't know," he admits again, softly.

"Alright," Jimmy says. "Then we'll keep doin' what we're doin'."

.

Sometimes, Jason just walks around Gotham. He doesn't go as Red Hood or as Jay Smith – he just walks, like Jason Todd used to, back when he was a kid who thought everything would get better.

And it did, for a while. With Alfred and Bruce, as Robin… things were so much better.

Till they weren't.

So he walks around because he loves Gotham, and he knows that Jimmy shadows him sometimes. Jimmy's issues are even bigger than Jason's, and Jason's okay with that. They wear the earbuds 24/7 now, both for convenience and safety, but whenever Jason wanders around, Jimmy maintains silence unless Jason breaks it.

Gotham in sunlight is so different from Gotham at night.

Gotham in sunlight isn't his but he likes seeing it, anyway.

.

"Dick Grayson is approaching you," Jimmy murmurs.

Jason pauses midstep but immediately resumes walking because he's in the middle of a crosswalk.

"He is incognito," Jimmy adds.

"Don't shoot him," Jason murmurs under his breath, looking down to hide the movement of his lips.

"He just entered the crosswalk behind you," Jimmy says.

Jason fortifies himself with a deep breath and calmly walks toward a less crowded place than Gotham downtown at lunchtime.

Dick never approaches; Jimmy keeps him updated, though, that Dick maintains a distance of half a block. Finally, Jason slips into a small office building that's been completely unused since the time Two Face launched an offensive from it.

"He's examining the building from all angles," Jimmy says as Jason gets comfortable at the front desk. "Entering from the third floor. I've lost visual."

"Don't worry," Jason says. "He won't hurt me."

"I'm staying out here." Jimmy's voice is firm. "At the first sign of distress –"

"Okay," Jason agrees.

He can't hear Dick's movements any more than he can hear Batman's or Jimmy's (or Steve's, when Steve forgets to move loudly on purpose) but he knows the moment Dick enters the lobby because Dick says, "Jason" like his heart is breaking.

"Hey, Dick," he says, feet kicked up on the desk, arms crossed behind his head.

"You…" Dick's voice trails off. "How…"

"Didn't the old man tell you?" Jason asks, trying to keep the smirk on his face. It shouldn't hurt this much. It's not like he and Dick ever got along.

Dick shakes his head. "Alfred told me and Babs. She tracked you down." He takes a few steps forward. "I'm so sorry."

Jason laughs. "You got something to be sorry for?"

Nodding, Dick says earnestly, "I should've tried harder with you."

Sitting up and narrowing his eyes, Jason demands, "You think that might've kept this from happening? No, Dickie-boy, this is all because the Joker wasn't executed like trash after – " He takes a deep breath. "After what he did to Batgirl, actually." He slowly stands up, hands clenched into fists, carefully inhaling and exhaling. "It all could've been avoided if he'd died then. Or maybe, if Batman had just killed the scum earlier. Then your girl would still have her legs. I'd still have my soul."

"Jason," Dick says again. "Please. Just come home with me."

God, he's about to cry. Jason – feels kind of sad, actually. He remembers Dick being untouchable. Golden.

Perfect.

"It's not my home anymore," he says softly. "I can't go back. I don't want to, not anymore."

Dick raises his chin and challenges, "What do you want, then?"

Jason smiles. "Gotham's the safest it's been since Joker first rolled into town. You've got Barbara in your ear, right?" He raises his voice slightly. "Can you hear me? Look at the stats since I've been here."

"You think that – Jason!" Dick says, flinging his arms around. "What you're doing, it's not –" He visibly calms himself down. "I didn't come here to fight. I wanted you to know that I'm glad you're alive. That… I'd like to get to know you. I missed out before."

Jason eyes him, tilting his head. "Are you really glad I'm alive?" he asks. "Things would've been simpler if Ra's just left me in that coffin to rot."

In the earbud, Jimmy snarls, "Never say that again."

Dick just looks horrified. "Of course I'm glad! It doesn't matter what you do – you're my brother."

Jason snorts. "Right." He rolls his eyes, turning away. "Well, it's been fun, brother, but I've gotta head out now."

"Wait!" Dick lunges for him and Jason ducks, muttering, "Don't!" so that Jimmy won't put a bullet into Dick's skull. "Okay, I'm sorry," Dick says, holding his hands up and taking a large step back. "But, please… let me give you my number. If you ever need me, or just want to talk, or whatever. Please."

"Tell me the number," Jason says after a moment. "I'll remember."

Dick rattles it off. Jason nods and leaves, and Dick doesn't follow. Jimmy confirms it.

.

He doesn't go back to the loft. Jimmy lets him stew in silence as he wanders through the bad parts of town, just… looking.

"I'm glad you're alive," Jimmy says, just suddenly beside him.

Jason doesn't even bother to startle.

"If you should've stayed dead, then I should never have been found in that ravine," Jimmy continues. "Or maybe, Steve should've left Bucky Barnes to die in that factory."

"I get the point," Jason says, leaning into Jimmy's bulk for just a moment. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Jimmy kisses his forehead. "Let's get a pizza and go home."

.

After they eat and shower together, Jason sprawls across the bed while Jimmy chooses a book. "They're gonna have your face now," Jason says.

Jimmy shrugs, choosing the next book in one of the Star Wars expanded universe series. Mara Jade's probably in it. He loves her. "Let them. I'm in none of the files Natalia released."

Jason scoots over and waits until Jimmy is situated to shifts his sprawl across him. "Read to me?" he asks. "Just until I fall asleep. I don't – I don't want him in my dreams tonight."

The metal hand is cool on his throat and Jason tilts his head back, further into Jimmy's torso. Jimmy begins to read; Jason tries to focus on the words, to quiet his mind.

He dreams of a woman with red hair fighting next to Jimmy, unmasked with his hair wild and long, tearing the Joker apart.

.

It's a week before he texts Dick, with a burner phone, leaning against a wall in Crime Alley. If you don't talk about the old man or my plans, he sends, wanna spar?

He gets a reply immediately. When and where?